GM's thread about nothing (13 Viewers)

[Sconch]

Tornado warning's until 9. Several tornadoes have been spotted around town. Some people are scared of spiders, snakes or sharks. I'm terrified of tornadoes. I'm just going to keep shoving chicken wings and veggies dipped in blue cheese down my gullet. Oh, there goes the sirens again.

This seems pretty reasonable. Spiders don't lift up your house and throw it a mile or two.

Yeah. Avoiding sharks is easy. Spiders are 99.9% harmless. And snakes are fictional like dragons and sea-serpents and dinosaurs. Tornadoes are God's prison shiv.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

 

[General Malaise]

fish used to be the Rover and lives near Seattle. he gave his old account to Truck, which was probably discussed somewhere earlier in this thread.

You know, on the scale of safe things to do, it falls somewhere between giving a chimpanzee a loaded uzi and Stryke the keys to a car.

 

[General Malaise]

After 2 1/2 years of bitter divorce, I finally met some chick that interests me. The last time I dated anyone was 1996. There was pretty much no internet, no facebook, and no texting. At this point, I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do to bridge the gap between checking out her facebook page and burying her in a shallow grave.

Call her. Threaten to bury her. Orrrrrr.....tell her that you haven't had sex in 2.5 years and that she's the first person in that time to interest you in any way. Invite her to have dinner at your place. Make sure you know what she likes to drink. Have lots of it.... Voila everyone in bliss.

There's been sex. Just not interest or dating. But that might work. I met her at a fund raiser, talked to her for a while and was going to call her for drinks this week. People still actually use phones, right?

For talking? How old are you? How old is she?

Yeah, imagine that. Actual conversation and interaction. I'm 43. She's mid-30s. She's Swedish, hot and has her own money (which is good because my ex has most of mine).no pics yet.

I bet you 2 will make some beautiful Swedish Fish together.Part of the reason I haven't gotten laid in a while is because of stupid jokes like that one, right?

Define "a while".

 

[General Malaise]

After 2 1/2 years of bitter divorce, I finally met some chick that interests me. The last time I dated anyone was 1996. There was pretty much no internet, no facebook, and no texting. At this point, I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do to bridge the gap between checking out her facebook page and burying her in a shallow grave.

Call her. Threaten to bury her. Orrrrrr.....tell her that you haven't had sex in 2.5 years and that she's the first person in that time to interest you in any way. Invite her to have dinner at your place. Make sure you know what she likes to drink. Have lots of it.... Voila everyone in bliss.

There's been sex. Just not interest or dating. But that might work. I met her at a fund raiser, talked to her for a while and was going to call her for drinks this week. People still actually use phones, right?

For talking? How old are you? How old is she?

Yeah, imagine that. Actual conversation and interaction. I'm 43. She's mid-30s. She's Swedish, hot and has her own money (which is good because my ex has most of mine).no pics yet.

I bet you 2 will make some beautiful Swedish Fish together.Part of the reason I haven't gotten laid in a while is because of stupid jokes like that one, right?

that, and your tiny penis

And, also, let's please define "tiny".

 

[Bob Sacamano]

fish used to be the Rover and lives near Seattle. he gave his old account to Truck, which was probably discussed somewhere earlier in this thread.

You know, on the scale of safe things to do, it falls somewhere between giving a chimpanzee a loaded uzi and Stryke the keys to a car.

I've done it twice.

 

[General Malaise]

Stu, Cal thinks your GF is hot. Told you guys he's smart.

Need him to chime in here.

That thread jumped the shark after I showed up.

Thread needs your in-depth analysis.

I was giving it my all, but it just went off the rails with guys posting 39 pictures at a time with rows and rows of women from far away angles. I mean, I was half expecting somebody to post a Google Satellite picture of China and say "GO!". I need one picture of about 3-6 girls TOPS and the ability to magnify the photo enough to count their freckles and moles. I take this seriously.

 

[General Malaise]

Tornado warning's until 9. Several tornadoes have been spotted around town. Some people are scared of spiders, snakes or sharks. I'm terrified of tornadoes. I'm just going to keep shoving chicken wings and veggies dipped in blue cheese down my gullet. Oh, there goes the sirens again.

This seems pretty reasonable. Spiders don't lift up your house and throw it a mile or two.

Truth. Though tornados do have the courtesy to come with sirens, bells and weatherman warnings.

 

[General Malaise]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I had trouble commenting on it yesterday. Thing just kept reloading and acting all strange. Also thought about putting it in my facebook page, but now that I've ammassed over 500 friends, I don't want to go back under that achievement threshold. I have the esteem level of a pint sized female dental student.

 

[kevzilla]

fish used to be the Rover and lives near Seattle. he gave his old account to Truck, which was probably discussed somewhere earlier in this thread.

You know, on the scale of safe things to do, it falls somewhere between giving a chimpanzee a loaded uzi and Stryke the keys to a car.

I've done it twice.

The chimp-Uzi thing, right? 'Cuz the other options are

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I had trouble commenting on it yesterday. Thing just kept reloading and acting all strange. Also thought about putting it in my facebook page, but now that I've ammassed over 500 friends, I don't want to go back under that achievement threshold. I have the esteem level of a pint sized female dental student.

I need to approve all comments.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I had trouble commenting on it yesterday. Thing just kept reloading and acting all strange. Also thought about putting it in my facebook page, but now that I've ammassed over 500 friends, I don't want to go back under that achievement threshold. I have the esteem level of a pint sized female dental student.

I need to approve all comments.

ETA.. wait..the Bachelor one in your sig i guess.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

fish used to be the Rover and lives near Seattle. he gave his old account to Truck, which was probably discussed somewhere earlier in this thread.

You know, on the scale of safe things to do, it falls somewhere between giving a chimpanzee a loaded uzi and Stryke the keys to a car.

Tornado warning's until 9. Several tornadoes have been spotted around town. Some people are scared of spiders, snakes or sharks. I'm terrified of tornadoes. I'm just going to keep shoving chicken wings and veggies dipped in blue cheese down my gullet. Oh, there goes the sirens again.

This seems pretty reasonable. Spiders don't lift up your house and throw it a mile or two.

Truth. Though tornados do have the courtesy to come with sirens, bells and weatherman warnings.

I was up all night Tuesday because I could swear I could hear the sirens going off.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I had trouble commenting on it yesterday. Thing just kept reloading and acting all strange. Also thought about putting it in my facebook page, but now that I've ammassed over 500 friends, I don't want to go back under that achievement threshold. I have the esteem level of a pint sized female dental student.

I need to approve all comments.

ETA.. wait..the Bachelor one in your sig i guess.

Yes, that one.I think it gives me an option to just post any comment. I think I restricted it to people with Google accounts. I'm not sure what GM is referring to with his difficulty. If he means that his comment didn't show up right away, that would be why. I approve them quickly, though.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

fish used to be the Rover and lives near Seattle. he gave his old account to Truck, which was probably discussed somewhere earlier in this thread.

You know, on the scale of safe things to do, it falls somewhere between giving a chimpanzee a loaded uzi and Stryke the keys to a car.

:finger:

 

[krista4]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I have it open on my computer right now so that I don't have to go back and search for it later, but I don't want to read it until I can watch the episode first. Can't watch it online until I get home; connection too slow.Don't know what the second hit would be, though; you must be amassing fans.

 

[krista4]

who's in for the first FBG group field trip to Nicaragua? Party at the K4s. Free mangoes!

I'm in, but my wife has to come. I need a handler for out of country all cornholes.

Oh yes, Rudnicki welcome as well. Took a picture of the tiny snake, who showed up again today. He is so tiny he looks like a worm until he slithers. Nothing to fear, GM.*

*Except the scorpions and tarantulas.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I have it open on my computer right now so that I don't have to go back and search for it later, but I don't want to read it until I can watch the episode first. Can't watch it online until I get home; connection too slow.Don't know what the second hit would be, though; you must be amassing fans.

I have no idea how it tracks this stuff. There's another person in Germany, and one of the referring sites is a blog written by some German girl.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I have it open on my computer right now so that I don't have to go back and search for it later, but I don't want to read it until I can watch the episode first. Can't watch it online until I get home; connection too slow.Don't know what the second hit would be, though; you must be amassing fans.

I have no idea how it tracks this stuff. There's another person in Germany, and one of the referring sites is a blog written by some German girl.

Any chance you cross paths with Raina? She's a VIP in the online American Idol world.

 

[krista4]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I have it open on my computer right now so that I don't have to go back and search for it later, but I don't want to read it until I can watch the episode first. Can't watch it online until I get home; connection too slow.Don't know what the second hit would be, though; you must be amassing fans.

I have no idea how it tracks this stuff. There's another person in Germany, and one of the referring sites is a blog written by some German girl.

That's pretty cool. I have no idea how this stuff works, such as how a person ends up with followers. I'm eager to read it, though!

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I have it open on my computer right now so that I don't have to go back and search for it later, but I don't want to read it until I can watch the episode first. Can't watch it online until I get home; connection too slow.Don't know what the second hit would be, though; you must be amassing fans.

I have no idea how it tracks this stuff. There's another person in Germany, and one of the referring sites is a blog written by some German girl.

Any chance you cross paths with Raina? She's a VIP in the online American Idol world.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I have it open on my computer right now so that I don't have to go back and search for it later, but I don't want to read it until I can watch the episode first. Can't watch it online until I get home; connection too slow.Don't know what the second hit would be, though; you must be amassing fans.

I have no idea how it tracks this stuff. There's another person in Germany, and one of the referring sites is a blog written by some German girl.

Any chance you cross paths with Raina? She's a VIP in the online American Idol world.

100K posts!http://idolforums.com/index.php?showuser=4179

 

[facook]

I've watched maybe 10 minutes of The Bachelor/She-Bachelor in my life, but I bow to the greatness of Pickles' posting about these shows. I absolutely love reading the cynical, witty analysis of this ridiculous stuff in the thread and on his blog. Of course, last night I made the grave error of admitting to my wife that there's a dark, dark part of me that actually wants to follow the show. Of course she asked, in shock, why I would ever want to do that. "Um...cause there's a guy...on the internet...that writes about it...and makes me laugh." Her: Me:

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I've watched maybe 10 minutes of The Bachelor/She-Bachelor in my life, but I bow to the greatness of Pickles' posting about these shows. I absolutely love reading the cynical, witty analysis of this ridiculous stuff in the thread and on his blog. Of course, last night I made the grave error of admitting to my wife that there's a dark, dark part of me that actually wants to follow the show. Of course she asked, in shock, why I would ever want to do that. "Um...cause there's a guy...on the internet...that writes about it...and makes me laugh." Her: Me:

No, dummy, you follow it for the gambling analysis.

 

[facook]

I've watched maybe 10 minutes of The Bachelor/She-Bachelor in my life, but I bow to the greatness of Pickles' posting about these shows. I absolutely love reading the cynical, witty analysis of this ridiculous stuff in the thread and on his blog. Of course, last night I made the grave error of admitting to my wife that there's a dark, dark part of me that actually wants to follow the show. Of course she asked, in shock, why I would ever want to do that. "Um...cause there's a guy...on the internet...that writes about it...and makes me laugh." Her: Me:

No, dummy, you follow it for the gambling analysis.

Yeah, I'm not that bright.

 

[General Malaise]

Pickles' ABC Bachelorette recaps are must reads for me. It is the first and only thing that has encouraged and emboldened me enough to collide worlds and send the link to my wife, sister and mom. It's great. I might even try to link it on facebook and just risk the world stripping me of the last fig leaf I have left.

Had a fun night tonight. Baseball game cancelled, so audible called and a bowling alley family trip was planned on the fly, using a Groupon Coupon that sucked like mike wilbon, which was much fun had by all. We got home about 8pm for a late dinner of leftovers and salad. And then, for reason's that involve Kris Kros, the dad of Miley Cyrus and a few adult beverages, we decided to find out what songs were the top singles on the day we were born.

That was a HUGE family hit and kept the kids up until almost 10pm *SOMETHING WE RARELY DO ON SCHOOL NIGHTS* and a game I would encourage all parents to try. They got a real kick out of seeing what was #1 when I was born (Your So Vain - Carley Simon) vs. when they were born and my wife(Sailing Chris Christopherson), etc...they nearly bust a gut when they saw what passed for #1 when my parents were born (Bing Crosby for Dad, Eddy Howard for mom). Then we saw what was #1 for them.

Oldest was Eminem's song from the movie 8Mile, Lose Yourself. That thing was popular for WEEKS. Actually like that one. Youngest was stuck in what HAD to be the year of Usher. That guy had a #1 hit for almost all of 2004. His song "Burn" was one I'd never heard before.

Anyhow, fun game. Wiki and Youtube make it easy to play. Lotta laughs tonight. Malaise family back on top of the world. Ready to laugh and act like a fool.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Yeah, we're definitely through the looking glass here.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

coming, maybe when we're back in the States or later tonight if I get drunk. Getting to know the Nicaraguan legal system pretty well now. Might be employing it to put a couple of liens on a couple of people's houses tomorrow morning. Fun!DA RAIDERS and GM welcome to the Nicaraguan abode when/if we close. It is a different house than the one we came down to buy. It does not have barstools in the pool :( but does have a pool table and a jacuzzi, though I'm not sure why you would ever use a jacuzzi here. GM, you would do very well here. You would stand out (as I do with very pale skin and blonde hair) and would probably be swimming in women. I forgot to mention that after our dinner party on Sunday, when we got up to go watch the Bulls game, the two other women here scrambled into the kitchen to start doing all the dishes. I yelled, "No, no, no!" (excellent Spanish, eh?) and then saw the horrified looks on everyone's faces and realized that it would be considered rude for me not to allow them to do it. The guys told me that they enjoy doing the dishes and would be offended not to. So the guys and I watched TV for about 30 minutes while they cleaned the whole kitchen. Missed what happened to SLB's kid's dong, but hope all is well now.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Missed what happened to SLB's kid's dong, but hope all is well now.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Missed what happened to SLB's kid's dong, but hope all is well now.

Missed this. I would quote what Mrs. SLB had to say about it but it would very self serving.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Great great great to hear GM. Welcome back.

 

[Gadzooks]

Why is it that Wednesday evening drinking always results in me doing stupid things?

I had a meeting late in the afternoon with 2 guys from another department that I don't usually see very often, and after our meeting they suggested going to grab a couple drinks. This was at 5pm. I knew I had a meeting to go to at 6pm and thought it probably wouldn't be a smart idea to grab a couple drinks, but being the company man that I am I thought this "drink-grabbing" activity would be a good team-building activity. After my first drink I knew there was no chance of me going to the 6pm meeting.

So we sat at the bar and noticed these 2 older women (we're talking blue hair) sitting at the corner of bar eating dinner, drinking wine and laughing very loudly. We continued to drink and I continued to be intrigued by these 2 old ladies. I had the bartender put their next round of "wines" on my tab. One of them waddled over to me and my co-workers to thank me and then she said jokingly (i think) "I'm 75 years old and haven't done this in awhile, so does this mean I should give you my phone number" and I said "no, that's so 20th century, you should send me a friend request on Facebook". She smiled and said "I'm not that easy, sport" and went back over to sit with her friend.

We continued to drink. For some reason, one of my co-workers bet the other co-worker that he wouldn't ask one of the ladies to dance. He turned down the bet and I told him that dancing was nothing, it would be funnier if he just went over there and kissed her. We laughed and then one of them said to me "I dare you to go over and kiss her" Without flinching and I went straight over to the 2 charming Golden Girls and said to the flirty one, "That guy just dared me to kiss you, I want you to know I'm doing it partly because he dared me and partly because I want to". I put both of my hands on her face and planted one right on her lips. I held the kiss for about 2.5 seconds. No tongue. The woman just smiled and said "not bad". I walked back to my co-workers who were now laughing hysterically. The 2 old ladies got up to leave and they both blew me kisses as they walked out. Co-worker said something about not knowing that I was into the old broads. I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

Once I got home I had the following text message conversation with a girl I've kinda been flirting/texting with:

Me: Hey guess what?

Her: What?

Me: I'm pantsless.

Her: What?

Me: I'm without pants.

Her: Ok. Been drinking tonight?

Me: Yes, when my pants were on.

Her: LoL.

Me: Whats the status on your pants situation right now?

Her: Haha. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Me: You're being weird about my pants inquiry

Me: Update on your pants status?

She still hasn't replied since that last text. It's ok though. The 75 year old is my fallback option and I'm pretty sure she's a sure thing.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Why is it that Wednesday evening drinking always results in me doing stupid things?

I had a meeting late in the afternoon with 2 guys from another department that I don't usually see very often, and after our meeting they suggested going to grab a couple drinks. This was at 5pm. I knew I had a meeting to go to at 6pm and thought it probably wouldn't be a smart idea to grab a couple drinks, but being the company man that I am I thought this "drink-grabbing" activity would be a good team-building activity. After my first drink I knew there was no chance of me going to the 6pm meeting.

So we sat at the bar and noticed these 2 older women (we're talking blue hair) sitting at the corner of bar eating dinner, drinking wine and laughing very loudly. We continued to drink and I continued to be intrigued by these 2 old ladies. I had the bartender put their next round of "wines" on my tab. One of them waddled over to me and my co-workers to thank me and then she said jokingly (i think) "I'm 75 years old and haven't done this in awhile, so does this mean I should give you my phone number" and I said "no, that's so 20th century, you should send me a friend request on Facebook". She smiled and said "I'm not that easy, sport" and went back over to sit with her friend.

We continued to drink. For some reason, one of my co-workers bet the other co-worker that he wouldn't ask one of the ladies to dance. He turned down the bet and I told him that dancing was nothing, it would be funnier if he just went over there and kissed her. We laughed and then one of them said to me "I dare you to go over and kiss her" Without flinching and I went straight over to the 2 charming Golden Girls and said to the flirty one, "That guy just dared me to kiss you, I want you to know I'm doing it partly because he dared me and partly because I want to". I put both of my hands on her face and planted one right on her lips. I held the kiss for about 2.5 seconds. No tongue. The woman just smiled and said "not bad". I walked back to my co-workers who were now laughing hysterically. The 2 old ladies got up to leave and they both blew me kisses as they walked out. Co-worker said something about not knowing that I was into the old broads. I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

Once I got home I had the following text message conversation with a girl I've kinda been flirting/texting with:

Me: Hey guess what?

Her: What?

Me: I'm pantsless.

Her: What?

Me: I'm without pants.

Her: Ok. Been drinking tonight?

Me: Yes, when my pants were on.

Her: LoL.

Me: Whats the status on your pants situation right now?

Her: Haha. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Me: You're being weird about my pants inquiry

Me: Update on your pants status?

She still hasn't replied since that last text. It's ok though. The 75 year old is my fallback option and I'm pretty sure she's a sure thing.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Awesome.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

lol

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

So I pulled up next to her slowly in my van. She was alone, she looked a little lost, and it seemed as though she could probably use a ride. This would be easier than I thought. I lowered my window and asked if she needed assistance. She responded that she did not to speak to strangers. I told her it was OK, that I was harmless and just interested in helping. Then I made the offer she couldn't possibly refuse. "I have prunes. Would you like some?"

 

[Gadzooks]

I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

So I pulled up next to her slowly in my van. She was alone, she looked a little lost, and it seemed as though she could probably use a ride. This would be easier than I thought. I lowered my window and asked if she needed assistance. She responded that she did not to speak to strangers. I told her it was OK, that I was harmless and just interested in helping. Then I made the offer she couldn't possibly refuse. "I have prunes. Would you like some?"

If I had this sage advice last night I could've sealed the deal. Wanna be my wing man at Bingo next week?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Thats some serius dedication to shtick for this thread, zooks. Well done.

 

[Thorn]

Blogspot keeps stats on your readers. Two hits from... Nicaragua.

I have it open on my computer right now so that I don't have to go back and search for it later, but I don't want to read it until I can watch the episode first. Can't watch it online until I get home; connection too slow.Don't know what the second hit would be, though; you must be amassing fans.

I have no idea how it tracks this stuff. There's another person in Germany, and one of the referring sites is a blog written by some German girl.

Finding out what google searches brought a reader to your blog can be entertaining. And disconcerting.

 

[Sconch]

Why is it that Wednesday evening drinking always results in me doing stupid things?

I had a meeting late in the afternoon with 2 guys from another department that I don't usually see very often, and after our meeting they suggested going to grab a couple drinks. This was at 5pm. I knew I had a meeting to go to at 6pm and thought it probably wouldn't be a smart idea to grab a couple drinks, but being the company man that I am I thought this "drink-grabbing" activity would be a good team-building activity. After my first drink I knew there was no chance of me going to the 6pm meeting.

So we sat at the bar and noticed these 2 older women (we're talking blue hair) sitting at the corner of bar eating dinner, drinking wine and laughing very loudly. We continued to drink and I continued to be intrigued by these 2 old ladies. I had the bartender put their next round of "wines" on my tab. One of them waddled over to me and my co-workers to thank me and then she said jokingly (i think) "I'm 75 years old and haven't done this in awhile, so does this mean I should give you my phone number" and I said "no, that's so 20th century, you should send me a friend request on Facebook". She smiled and said "I'm not that easy, sport" and went back over to sit with her friend.

We continued to drink. For some reason, one of my co-workers bet the other co-worker that he wouldn't ask one of the ladies to dance. He turned down the bet and I told him that dancing was nothing, it would be funnier if he just went over there and kissed her. We laughed and then one of them said to me "I dare you to go over and kiss her" Without flinching and I went straight over to the 2 charming Golden Girls and said to the flirty one, "That guy just dared me to kiss you, I want you to know I'm doing it partly because he dared me and partly because I want to". I put both of my hands on her face and planted one right on her lips. I held the kiss for about 2.5 seconds. No tongue. The woman just smiled and said "not bad". I walked back to my co-workers who were now laughing hysterically. The 2 old ladies got up to leave and they both blew me kisses as they walked out. Co-worker said something about not knowing that I was into the old broads. I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

Once I got home I had the following text message conversation with a girl I've kinda been flirting/texting with:

Me: Hey guess what?

Her: What?

Me: I'm pantsless.

Her: What?

Me: I'm without pants.

Her: Ok. Been drinking tonight?

Me: Yes, when my pants were on.

Her: LoL.

Me: Whats the status on your pants situation right now?

Her: Haha. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Me: You're being weird about my pants inquiry

Me: Update on your pants status?

She still hasn't replied since that last text. It's ok though. The 75 year old is my fallback option and I'm pretty sure she's a sure thing.

 

[Sconch]

I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

So I pulled up next to her slowly in my van. She was alone, she looked a little lost, and it seemed as though she could probably use a ride. This would be easier than I thought. I lowered my window and asked if she needed assistance. She responded that she did not to speak to strangers. I told her it was OK, that I was harmless and just interested in helping. Then I made the offer she couldn't possibly refuse. "I have prunes. Would you like some?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Clara Bow?"

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

So I pulled up next to her slowly in my van. She was alone, she looked a little lost, and it seemed as though she could probably use a ride. This would be easier than I thought. I lowered my window and asked if she needed assistance. She responded that she did not to speak to strangers. I told her it was OK, that I was harmless and just interested in helping. Then I made the offer she couldn't possibly refuse. "I have prunes. Would you like some?"

If I had this sage advice last night I could've sealed the deal. Wanna be my wing man at Bingo next week?

I was thinking maybe we could do up the funeral home. You know, grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.

 

[Sconch]

Oh and we won.

Actually the team I was on won.

Actually in all honsety the team made up of 50% PhDs that they asked me to be one won.

Actually the team I was asked to be on won...thanks to me.

Just think, you TOO could be a phD.

So today in the local newspaper they run a photo of the winning team. The pic isn't very big but it isn't really hard to tell which guy on the team had a few beers. Link

 

[Bob Sacamano]

lmao at "Priorities". Must have missed that one.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Is Homer humping that cake?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I like how both stories were weaved together. They really complimented each other beautifully. Well played, sir. Well played.

 

[Gadzooks]

I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

So I pulled up next to her slowly in my van. She was alone, she looked a little lost, and it seemed as though she could probably use a ride. This would be easier than I thought. I lowered my window and asked if she needed assistance. She responded that she did not to speak to strangers. I told her it was OK, that I was harmless and just interested in helping. Then I made the offer she couldn't possibly refuse. "I have prunes. Would you like some?"

If I had this sage advice last night I could've sealed the deal. Wanna be my wing man at Bingo next week?

I was thinking maybe we could do up the funeral home. You know, grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.

Good point. I'll bring the Old Spice and condoms. I'm not falling for the old "oh I'm so old we don't need condoms" trick. Fool me once...

 

[Captain Quinoa]

I told him I was the "Anti-Homer". He had no clue what that meant.

So I pulled up next to her slowly in my van. She was alone, she looked a little lost, and it seemed as though she could probably use a ride. This would be easier than I thought. I lowered my window and asked if she needed assistance. She responded that she did not to speak to strangers. I told her it was OK, that I was harmless and just interested in helping. Then I made the offer she couldn't possibly refuse. "I have prunes. Would you like some?"

If I had this sage advice last night I could've sealed the deal. Wanna be my wing man at Bingo next week?

I was thinking maybe we could do up the funeral home. You know, grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.

Good point. I'll bring the Old Spice and condoms. I'm not falling for the old "oh I'm so old we don't need condoms" trick. Fool me once...

don't forget a truckload of lube

 

[Disco Stu]

Solid work Gadzooks.

 

[Sconch]

"So dinner tomorrow? I know the Maitre'd at Denny's."