Never really did get around to finishing
The Wedding Diaries as I tend to excel at starting tasks without ever finishing them, but I also struggled trying to capture everything that happened on the big day. It just seemed too cumbersome to tackle and I never could get a good start.
But I'd like to write about the past weekend, which marked our one year anniversary, because as I sit here on Tuesday morning, I'm still smiling and feel like reliving it instead of working. It'll be long and drawn out and probably not very interesting, but I'm going to recap it all the same.
So, I'll preface this by saying that May was a pretty rough month for us, with crushing news that my wife's managerial job was being pulled from her hitting us just a few days before she suffered a miscarriage. Needless to say, there were many nights in the month of May that were full of tears, sorrow and doubts. I pride myself on making other people feel better and laugh, but for about a week and a half, I felt nothing but helpless and powerless to make my wife happy and it sucked. It was a very stressful time, though I know our problems pale in comparison to people living in Tornado Ally or families with severe illnesses or financial burdens that are sinking them.
Despite knowing that our anniversary was looming, I hadn't planned anything in advance because...well, because I procrastinate like a college sophomore and didn't really know what kind of mood we would be in to celebrate. But at the last minute, and armed with the knowledge that my ex-wife offered to take the boys all weekend, including Monday night, I decided to act. I wanted to get out of town, go somewhere, clear the head, make my wife laugh again. I thought about wine country and the coast, but hotels were expensive and rooms were scarce. And then it hit me - let's go to Seattle!

I pulled up Priceline, threw in a bid of $109 for a 4-star hotel in downtown Seattle and as luck would have it, my bid was accepted and plans were put into motion.
We departed Sunday morning, stopping first at
Salty's for 10:45am brunch, one of the best in the city and with great views of the Columbia River. My parents gave us a $100 gift card here for Xmas and I was waiting for the perfect time to use it. This was it. Upon greeting us with a "Happy Anniversary", the hostess sat us upstairs at a corner table, with a great view over the river. We ordered bottomless mimosas from the uber gay waiter and then headed back downstairs to attack the food options. I hit the omelet station first, going with bacon, ham, three cheeses, jalapenos, salsa and added to that about 20 peel 'n' eat shrimps and some crawfish. Wife came back with crispy French toast, a plate full of crab legs and an omlet as well. Round 1 was sensational and I furiously devoured the shrimp fast enough to elicit a "Hey Forrest, the ocean just called and they are running out of shrimp" from my lovely wife. Perfect.

After that, I hit the bacon, sausage, carving station, salmon and potatoes. She came back with 6 or 7 HUGE strawberries covered in chocolate from their flowing chocolate fountain. It was an orgy of a feast and the mimosas flowed like the river below us. All told, we probably lasted a full hour there before waving the flag and surrendering like the French. I turned down a final round of mimosas, settled up with Serge and we headed north to Seattle.
Armed with fresh coffee, a full belly and plenty of great tunes, we made the 3 hour drive in about 2 hours and 35 minutes. Our first stop was
Novelty Hill/Januick Winery, where we met up with my old buddy Petty and his wife Lauren. Novelty Hill has a great tasting room - very modern looking with sleek architecture and really good wines. They also have a well maintained bocce ball court, which was our main purpose for going here first. We decided to play boys vs. girls and had a great time catching up and tossing balls. In fact, we had so much fun that we drew the attention of 3 Silver Haired foxes who decided to sit near the court and heckle us as we played. One of the gals had a hunched back and moved around like Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein. She took an immediate liking to me and didn't seem to care that my wife was right next to me. Finally, the cougars' husbands came outside and told their wives to leave us alone, but not before I could give Hunchie a link to Gadzook's facebook page.
After a rousing game where the men dominated the women, we took the party up the road to another tasting room and enjoyed some nice red blends from Brian Carter. From there, we made plans for the night which included meeting up at the hotel bar at 7pm and partying up on Capitol Hill. The wife and I then drove to our hotel and checked in at the Renaissance Downtown. I told the guy who checked us in that it was our anniversary and he upgraded us to a corner suite on the 9th floor. Total score! This room was awesome. Great views, lots of windows, big old bed and just a complete steal for $109.
Now, I can count on one hand the number of sexy times we've had since the end of March due to a number of circumstances and the last few weeks have been absolutely out for lovemaking for reasons I'll spare you, but on Sunday, I gave my wife the best 49 seconds of loving she has ever had at the Renaissance Inn in downtown Seattle on the 9th floor on a Sunday. Although if you ever stay there, I'd avoid the hand towels for removing make-up or shaving gel.
We met the other couple at the hotel bar, threw down a quick drink and walked up the hill to a bowling alley where again, the boys squared off against the gals. We dusted them in the first game, then went couple vs. couple in the second and lost badly. My lady usually carries my sorry butt in bolwing, but she couldn't roll straight. I'm guessing the lay-off from booze plus the long day of drinking plus leg-shaking love making at the hands of a pro must have adversely affected her game. We got destroyed, even though I bowled a blistering 120. :chestbump:. After that, we had dinner and more drinks at a nearby Mexican joint and the night was full of laughs and good times. Despite the fact that we were maybe a 10 minute walk back to the hotel, we flagged down a cab and paid him $5 to drive us back. A nice long deep sleep followed and it felt great.
I had the great idea of opening up all the curtains on all the windows to enjoy the skyline at night. This of course backfired when the sun began cooking us at 5:30am. At 7am, I bounced up and began handicapping the horse races at Emerald Downs. She slept in until almost 10am. We got ready and strolled down to the Farmer's Market on Pike Street and had a late breakfast with bloody marry's. Seattle is one steep hill after another and getting around on foot can be tough...especially if you are in flip flops like the two of us were. But we were having too much fun to complain and decided to take the party over to Alki Beach and walk up and down the boardwalk there. She'd never seen that area of Seattle and it's probably one of my favorite neighborhoods in the country. Just a little slice of SoCal in the Pacific Northwest. Love it. Had a tropical drink at Bambooza's, sat outside and people watched, then made our way to Emerald Downs for some horse racing. We had to park about a mile and a half away from the track, but we walked it and had a great time laughing at the colorful characters bustling around the area. Nothing like a horse track to bring out the crazies.
Well, I'd like to say this was a profitable day at the track, but it wasn't. The horses just weren't kind to us and we went away losers. Walked all the way back to the car and realized we had probably walked over 5 miles total on the day....all in flip flops. Not one complaint by her. What a gal. I stopped off for coffee on the way home and drained it. About 3/4 of the way back to Portland I realized I had to take a leak. I figured I'd just hold it. I've always been a great pee holder. I used to think I could outlast anybody. I learned the hard way that I cannot do that anymore. The pressure was building and I began to frantically look for an exit. It was still way to light out to stop on the highway and cops were ALL OVER I-5 yesterday. I suddenly realized I wasn't going to make it if I didn't pull over somewhere, so I took the very next exit and drove around looking for a gas station or a fast food joint...anything with a toilet. There was nothing. And sadly, the dam was breaking. I finally found a junk yard with a gated off entry and pulled the car into the front of it. I threw open the door, went down on two knees and just let it fly. I was hoping the car would shield me from traffic that was zooming along this auxiliary road. But I was wide out in the open and this was one of those long pees that just wasn't going to stop. I must have peed for 2 minutes at least, all in front of my wife who was laughing hysterically. I ended up peeing all over my leg too. What an embarrassment. What a cool guy I am. At least now I know I can't hold my pees as long as I used to. My control apparatus no longer functions like it did when I was a younger man. Hard lesson to learn.
Anyhow, I know this was long and not all that interesting, but it was nice to have a weekend where we just laughed and goofed off and didn't feel stressed out or sad. Just felt like sharing instead of working. One year in to this marraige and all I can hope for is many many more....with her. Not anybody else(s).