GM's thread about nothing (39 Viewers)

[Thorn]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

 

[shuke]

I like Shuke, but he's kind of mean to me.

This better be some kind of sthick or something.

 

[Thorn]

NUBIAN: not a word in WWF.

 

[shuke]

I almost sharted on the floor of my office bathroom this morning.

How is something like this even possible? Did you take your pants off to piss at the urinal? Did you pull your pants down and squat over the floor to fart? No shtick, totally confused here.

 

[shuke]

So this is the first year in about 10 I haven't watched Big Brother, and I feel so free.

This is the only reality show I watch. I really wish Pickles would blog about this show. You actually should watch it this year just because one girl (Porsha) has some of the most beautiful junk in the trunk in the world.

I've seen some pics, but three hours a week is a committment I'm not willing to make any more.

 

[shuke]

At a farewell luncheon today for a co-worker, a careless chubby gal sitting in one of the tall chairs gave me a beav shot. I was mesmerized throughout the meal.

Commando?

I'm guessing he works in an office so probably none of his coworkers are commandos.

Hey, we need your expertise in another thread....the one called "Why I'm Broke" or something.In it, Icon claims he had a really cool teacher who permitted his students to go on bathroom breaks and steal lunches from lockers. He says the teacher always asked for the best stuff and let his students keep the rest.

Shuke calls SUPREME BS on this, presuming that if this went on for days at a time, it would be reported and measures would be made to stop it.

Now, I don't know who to believe here. I like Shuke, but he's kind of mean to me. Icon is nice, but he defriended me on facebook. Really torn on this one.

It's hard to believe, but there are some real wacko teachers out there. I mean if a teacher could have intercourse with one of his or her students, stealing lunches seems plausible, no?Although I guess the risk is pretty high, with very little reward. Now I'm torn. I think I'm going with Shuke on this one.

This was my point, but Shuke dismissed it with supercilious arrogance.

I'm not doubting that maybe there was a teacher that allowed this, but no way it happened more than once or twice, especially when the entire class witnessed it.

 

[Lieutenant Dan]

Icon is nice, but he defriended me on facebook.

I defriended some people a while back. I took a shuke-esque stance on Facebook, except I only defriended females that I only knew through the innerwebs. I felt bad about it and hope I didn't hurt any feelings.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

I almost sharted on the floor of my office bathroom this morning.

How is something like this even possible? Did you take your pants off to piss at the urinal? Did you pull your pants down and squat over the floor to fart? No shtick, totally confused here.

I was about 5-10 minutes away from my office when if felt like a bucket of oil was dumped into my lower intestine. Rumbling, cold sweat, the whole 9 yards. It was on. I had to get on a conference call at 9am so it wasn't like I could stop and there was really no better place to go, so I gutted it out. As I made the block of my office, I tried to relieve a slight bit of pressure, which was a near fatal mistake. Farting while violently clenching your ####### tight is no small feat. Luckily, no harm/no foul. So I park my car, high tail it through the parking garage doing this sorta hop-step-skip run to the front doors. I nearly pushed a hot, young 20 something over in my #### induced panic/pain.

Much like my bladder, my ####### knows when it's game time. The closer I got to the bathroom, the more it knew sweet relief was coming and the more it started to relent to the pressure.

I get into the stall and start to pull my down pants, backing up to the head as fast as I can. I didn't make it all the way when the ###-spolsion finally hit. Miraculously the brown geyser that sprung forth didn't hit the floor or the seat/toilet, ect. My #######'s a marksman, apparently. (Splash back would have been a huge disaster. I work an hour away and I'd have to sit in the car and smell my #### of an hour on the ride home. Waddling back out of the office with #### stains all over my pants would have been even worse).

Incidentally, I was in such a rush to get on the toilet that I didn't/couldn't lock the stall door. The first volley was done with the door open then I waddled over the best I could to close it, hoping no one would come (luckily, I beat the morning rush).



Is this why you aren't supposed to drink alcohol while on antibiotics?

 

[McJose]

I know it's passe to whine about inconsistant moderation but how in God's green smurf is Jim11 still allowed to post?

 

[urbanhack]

Anyone bought a suit at Joseph A Bank? Just looking for somethign halfway decent to wear occasionally, and they are having a 70% off sale.Hack - don't bother with links to your $800 hipster doofus stuff that will be out of style in 9 months.

Only suit i've owned in the past 10 years was a basic black one from Hugo Boss.

 

[JbizzleMan]

I know it's passe to whine about inconsistant moderation but how in God's green smurf is Jim11 still allowed to post?

Maybe Jim11 IS one of the mods? I've been banned for less than his daily race-baiting.

 

[mr. furley]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

 

[mr. furley]

I know it's passe to whine about inconsistant moderation but how in God's green smurf is Jim11 still allowed to post?

hmm.. probably best not to touch this one

 

[mr. furley]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

ah, right, David Lynch fans love this kinda stuff

 

[General Malaise]

I almost sharted on the floor of my office bathroom this morning.

How is something like this even possible? Did you take your pants off to piss at the urinal? Did you pull your pants down and squat over the floor to fart? No shtick, totally confused here.

I was about 5-10 minutes away from my office when if felt like a bucket of oil was dumped into my lower intestine. Rumbling, cold sweat, the whole 9 yards. It was on. I had to get on a conference call at 9am so it wasn't like I could stop and there was really no better place to go, so I gutted it out. As I made the block of my office, I tried to relieve a slight bit of pressure, which was a near fatal mistake. Farting while violently clenching your ####### tight is no small feat. Luckily, no harm/no foul. So I park my car, high tail it through the parking garage doing this sorta hop-step-skip run to the front doors. I nearly pushed a hot, young 20 something over in my #### induced panic/pain.

Much like my bladder, my ####### knows when it's game time. The closer I got to the bathroom, the more it knew sweet relief was coming and the more it started to relent to the pressure.

I get into the stall and start to pull my down pants, backing up to the head as fast as I can. I didn't make it all the way when the ###-spolsion finally hit. Miraculously the brown geyser that sprung forth didn't hit the floor or the seat/toilet, ect. My #######'s a marksman, apparently. (Splash back would have been a huge disaster. I work an hour away and I'd have to sit in the car and smell my #### of an hour on the ride home. Waddling back out of the office with #### stains all over my pants would have been even worse).

Incidentally, I was in such a rush to get on the toilet that I didn't/couldn't lock the stall door. The first volley was done with the door open then I waddled over the best I could to close it, hoping no one would come (luckily, I beat the morning rush).



Is this why you aren't supposed to drink alcohol while on antibiotics?

 

[urbanhack]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

ah, right, David Lynch fans love this kinda stuff

which stuff? time travel + new wave music

 

[General Malaise]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

ah, right, David Lynch fans love this kinda stuff

you don't like Wild at Heart?

 

[mr. furley]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

ah, right, David Lynch fans love this kinda stuff

you don't like Wild at Heart?

is this the one with Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet?

 

[General Malaise]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

ah, right, David Lynch fans love this kinda stuff

you don't like Wild at Heart?

is this the one with Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet?

No, that's Terms of Endearment.

 

[urbanhack]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

ah, right, David Lynch fans love this kinda stuff

you don't like Wild at Heart?

is this the one with Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet?

No, that's Terms of Endearment.

Love the ending.

 

[mr. furley]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

ah, right, David Lynch fans love this kinda stuff

you don't like Wild at Heart?

is this the one with Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet?

No, that's Terms of Endearment.

love it when that guy dances on the thatch roof with his violin

 

[shuke]

anyone like donnie darko?

I have had that movie sitting on my shelf for years; never watched it.

it's horrible. don't bother.

Almost got me with this one.

Agreed. Some of the worst bait this board's ever seen.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

So as I try and find the right time to tell my wife that we are done and I want a divorce, I come home to this sharp left turn:My wife got info on a new job within her company that she would be a shoe-in to get and it's what she really wants to do. The job is in Green Bay, Wisconsin. She REALLY wants to move up there. She spent all night reading up on Green Bay and sending me emails of houses for sale.One, this is my typical wife. When things are bad, she does not stay and fight, she flies. New job, new house, new state. She lives for starting over. Two, this is also my typical wife. She sees how nice Green Bay is TODAY, she does not think about the 13 months a year when it is balls freezing cold. She also doesn't think about what I would do for a job. She doesn't even begin to think about the fact that I'm not a Packers fan. It's all about her.FML.

Just booked my hotel for the raider game 12/11. Cornhole? Sorry, couldnt help myself.

 

[Bogart]

So as I try and find the right time to tell my wife that we are done and I want a divorce, I come home to this sharp left turn:My wife got info on a new job within her company that she would be a shoe-in to get and it's what she really wants to do. The job is in Green Bay, Wisconsin. She REALLY wants to move up there. She spent all night reading up on Green Bay and sending me emails of houses for sale.One, this is my typical wife. When things are bad, she does not stay and fight, she flies. New job, new house, new state. She lives for starting over. Two, this is also my typical wife. She sees how nice Green Bay is TODAY, she does not think about the 13 months a year when it is balls freezing cold. She also doesn't think about what I would do for a job. She doesn't even begin to think about the fact that I'm not a Packers fan. It's all about her.FML.

Just booked my hotel for the raider game 12/11. Cornhole? Sorry, couldnt help myself.

That is what my buddy just said on the phone. I tell him the story and how I have to expedite things for the divorce. He goes, "You ### is going to call me Monday morning saying "I'm movin to Green Bay...."

 

[Frostillicus]

Bay (nym) NO RBI -145Molina (stl) NO RBI -160Lee (hou) NO RBI -180Brantley (cle) NO RBI -180Fowler (col) NO Run -160Wells (sea) NO Run -200Ichiro (sea) UNDER 1.5 hits -190Pence (phi) UNDER 2.5 h+r+bi -170

4 and 2 last night, right?nice work

3-3. Small loss on the night. Penny got batted around pretty good but everything hit deep came up just short, Lohse was pulled after three innings with 74 pitches despite a 7-3 lead and him coming up third the next inning, and Bourjos had 0-2 counts on him twice last night but they couldn't get the third one by him. So I guess what I'm saying is I should have been 6-0.

 

[Thorn]

Tanner>lil help here?

What exactly goes through cats' minds anyway?

Shhh...I am going to sneak up on this tan furry thing and ... POUNCE! OUCH! Ah damn it that's my foot. But ... wait a minute ... another similarly colored furry thing ... POUNCE! OUCH! ####! Yep, that's my tail.

 

[Frostillicus]

So this is the first year in about 10 I haven't watched Big Brother, and I feel so free.

This is the only reality show I watch. I really wish Pickles would blog about this show. You actually should watch it this year just because one girl (Porsha) has some of the most beautiful junk in the trunk in the world.

Link to pics please.

Found this in the "official Big Brother Thread". Thank you Reginald Cornstalks

Oh my

 

[Gadzooks]

I just got back from a 1.5 hour massage. The masseuse farted in the middle of the rub down. I didn't care.

This, and my deeply seated and totally irrational psychosis of not having strangers touch me, is why I don't get massages.

You are missing out. It is right up there with sex.

You had to beg her for 45 minutes to give you a massage?

Instead of actually working, I've spent the last hour looking at random pages of this thread.

 

[Bogart]

I just got back from a 1.5 hour massage. The masseuse farted in the middle of the rub down. I didn't care.

This, and my deeply seated and totally irrational psychosis of not having strangers touch me, is why I don't get massages.

You are missing out. It is right up there with sex.

You had to beg her for 45 minutes to give you a massage?

Instead of actually working, I've spent the last hour looking at random pages of this thread.

I still want to read from the beginning. Seems like War and Peace at this point.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Can flies get concussions?

 

[Tiger Fan]

Anyone bought a suit at Joseph A Bank? Just looking for somethign halfway decent to wear occasionally, and they are having a 70% off sale.Hack - don't bother with links to your $800 hipster doofus stuff that will be out of style in 9 months.

yes. no issues at all. i only wear suits to weddings though, so not much wear and tear

 

[Frostillicus]

Can flies get concussions?

Can animals get concussion?Yes, turtles can get a concussion just as humans can get.Answered by Laura S. - 81 days ago at 6:33pm on May 15 2011

 

[Frostillicus]

This applies to birds, but birds and flies are practically the same thing:

If a bird is to be allowed freedom outside of its cage, its wings should be properly clipped. This means that it can glide gracefully to the ground. If the wings are not clipped correctly, or if several primary wing feathers have grown back unbeknownst to the owner, an alarmed bird may end up flying erratically around the house, or worse, launching itself to the top of a tree! Some avian vets actually have a name for birds that have had run-ins with ceiling fans (shredded tweet!) If a bird is frightened, it may mistake a window or mirror for open spaces, and end up with a concussion. Contrary to popular belief, birds RARELY break their necks with such an injury. In all my years of practice, I have only seen two birds with compression fractures in neck vertebrae as a result of flying into an object. They can, and do, however, develop concussions, bleeding inside the brain, fractures, lacerations, ruptured air sacs and other serious, potentially deadly injuries, however.

I can't tell you the number of times that a client has told me that their bird, although flighted, never flies, yet they are calling to inform me that it has just flown away! The perils outdoors are too numerous to list.

Birds indoors have flown into pots of boiling water, open commodes, windows, mirrors, fondue pots and an active fireplace, to name just a few of the household hazards that I have seen.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Can flies get concussions?

Can animals get concussion?Yes, turtles can get a concussion just as humans can get.Answered by Laura S. - 81 days ago at 6:33pm on May 15 2011

What about flies?

 

[commisholio]

Anybody ever take a year off Fantasy Football?Seriously considering it. Put me down in the don't-know-the-QB-in-Buffalo-and-don't-care category.High expectations for my Lions, though.

No FF last year for the first time since the mid 90s. Didn't miss it at all.

I quit FF 4 years ago after my son was born. I don't miss it at all. It's very refreshing being able to watch a game and not worry about who gets the touchdowns.

 

[-fish-]

Just booked a beerwench/draft board girl for our draft.

Please rate her.

 

[YSR]

Can flies get concussions?

Not sure about concussions, but I know you can stun them. At summer camp one summer I used to catch a fly, cup my hands together and shake the fly really hard, essentially knocking him out. Then I would take one of my hairs, tie a little knot around its neck and wait for it to wake. At that point, he would start to fly away, but I had him on a leash. Was fun for about 30 seconds until I realized there was no real way of getting the hair off of his neck without killing him.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Just booked a beerwench/draft board girl for our draft.

Please rate her.

Wow. We've always talked about this, but never gone through with it.

 

[-fish-]

Just booked a beerwench/draft board girl for our draft.

Please rate her.

Wow. We've always talked about this, but never gone through with it.

same here. posted one craiglist ad, and the responses were kind of lame. changed the wording a bit a couple days later and got a ton of responses from the type of girls we're looking for (not hookers or strippers--just fun chicks willing to wear a thong, dance around, fill drinks, etc).

 

[JbizzleMan]

Just booked a beerwench/draft board girl for our draft.

Please rate her.

Wow. We've always talked about this, but never gone through with it.

same here. posted one craiglist ad, and the responses were kind of lame. changed the wording a bit a couple days later and got a ton of responses from the type of girls we're looking for (not hookers or strippers--just fun chicks willing to wear a thong, dance around, fill drinks, etc).

Unless these girls are from a modeling agency, I highly doubt that they are not strippers/hookers.

 

[krista4]

Icon is nice, but he defriended me on facebook.

I defriended some people a while back. I took a shuke-esque stance on Facebook, except I only defriended females that I only knew through the innerwebs. I felt bad about it and hope I didn't hurt any feelings.

Not at all, dickmitten.

 

[-fish-]

Just booked a beerwench/draft board girl for our draft.

Please rate her.

Wow. We've always talked about this, but never gone through with it.

same here. posted one craiglist ad, and the responses were kind of lame. changed the wording a bit a couple days later and got a ton of responses from the type of girls we're looking for (not hookers or strippers--just fun chicks willing to wear a thong, dance around, fill drinks, etc).

Unless these girls are from a modeling agency, I highly doubt that they are not strippers/hookers.

I've read your threads. Please don't ever try to give anyone advice about women.

 

[krista4]

One of the only things Memphis gets right is an annual sales tax holiday the weekend before school starts. Given I'd save the almost 10% tax, I finally broke down and bought an iPad today.

So, now what do I do with this thing?

 

[EYLive]

One of the only things Memphis gets right is an annual sales tax holiday the weekend before school starts. Given I'd save the almost 10% tax, I finally broke down and bought an iPad today.So, now what do I do with this thing?

browse pictures of naked men

 

[Tiger Fan]

Just booked a beerwench/draft board girl for our draft.

Please rate her.

Wow. We've always talked about this, but never gone through with it.

same here. posted one craiglist ad, and the responses were kind of lame. changed the wording a bit a couple days later and got a ton of responses from the type of girls we're looking for (not hookers or strippers--just fun chicks willing to wear a thong, dance around, fill drinks, etc).

how much are you paying her?

 

[-fish-]

One of the only things Memphis gets right is an annual sales tax holiday the weekend before school starts. Given I'd save the almost 10% tax, I finally broke down and bought an iPad today.So, now what do I do with this thing?

watch flash videos.

 

[-fish-]

Just booked a beerwench/draft board girl for our draft.

Please rate her.

Wow. We've always talked about this, but never gone through with it.

same here. posted one craiglist ad, and the responses were kind of lame. changed the wording a bit a couple days later and got a ton of responses from the type of girls we're looking for (not hookers or strippers--just fun chicks willing to wear a thong, dance around, fill drinks, etc).

how much are you paying her?

$200 for 3 hour draft.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

One of the only things Memphis gets right

Remember your Memphis thread, and the guy who told you that Memphis sucks?

 

[krista4]

One of the only things Memphis gets right is an annual sales tax holiday the weekend before school starts. Given I'd save the almost 10% tax, I finally broke down and bought an iPad today.So, now what do I do with this thing?

browse pictures of naked men

Hmmmm...OK.