GM's thread about nothing (38 Viewers)

[Radical Larry]

When I got to the office this morning there were little red ants all over my desk. WTF

Toblerone crumbs?

 

[EYLive]

We're a good 2 years away from it. By then, I'll be 39, she'll be 31, my sons will be 9 and 7.

I would be sooooooo happy if I could date a chica 8 years my junior.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

When I got to the office this morning there were little red ants all over my desk. WTF

Did any of them ask how you knew GM when you opened your beer?

That kind of crossed my mind.

When I got to the office this morning there were little red ants all over my desk. WTF

Toblerone crumbs?

For dinner last night I had 6 chicken wings and two Toblerones. I don't even really like chicken wings.

 

[urbanhack]

Sounds like a fun wedding.

I had to keep the ratio of Brick & Mortar friends to iFriends at 4/1. You guys would have tipped the scales. As it stands, my nosey aunts sniffed out the 3 iDudes immediately and will be going back to tell their circles about their dorky nephew who meets friends on the internet. 4/3 and my new in-laws begin to officially wonder about me. I can't have that. You guys will come to the next one.

FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Sounds like a fun wedding.

I had to keep the ratio of Brick & Mortar friends to iFriends at 4/1. You guys would have tipped the scales. As it stands, my nosey aunts sniffed out the 3 iDudes immediately and will be going back to tell their circles about their dorky nephew who meets friends on the internet. 4/3 and my new in-laws begin to officially wonder about me. I can't have that. You guys will come to the next one.

FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS

Squirrels in my pants.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

How can I qualify for government grants?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

How can I qualify for government grants?

S.I.M.PSquirrels in my pants!

 

[zander_s]

How can I qualify for government grants?

S.I.M.PSquirrels in my pants!

S to the I to the M to the P!!

 

[KGB]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d21_1275957165

 

[saintfool]

the first pics from the wedding leaked!

the bride wore white, among other things...

the i-friends were on pins and needles!

congrats, gm!

 

[Dragons]

Congrats GM! Great story telling, as usual.

 

[ShaqAttaq]

excellent thread that i just discovered.

Great Lakes Crossing Mall is hell. i am dragged there by my wife 2x per year or so.

 

[Early_10]

I'm at home again today because Cal has a 100 degree fever. I think him, his brother and the dog have devised some sort of sinister plot to drive me insane.I wish there was somebody in our family with a medical background that could take care of this for me.

I'm at home today because...well...I don't work in the summers. Oh, and some broad just called from a casting agency for a gameshow production company. She's looking for people to come in and tape pilot episodes for some new show. The catch is that I have to bring in 7 other people.

IN!!!!

She wants me to bring in teachers I work with.That would be pretty cool though "So how do all of you guys know each other?" "The internet."

My aunts Louise and Katy pulled that on JTC and Charv last week on the bus from the hotel to the wedding. They kept pestering them until they just cracked and said "WE KNOW HIM FROM THE INTERNET, OKAY? WE KNOW HIM FROM THE INTERNET". In drunken Norweigen, this must have been pretty somber.

 

[boom king]

ahhhhh!

 

[YSR]

Please se:e: my thread about how to ruin a company and contribute. Thx.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Hi.

I'm at Table Rock with the family. I'm trying to convince Cal I'm a dentist. He's not buying it.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Damn, I forgot to bring the Cialis.

I guess I should take it easy on the whiskey.

 

[The_Burning_Bush]

Sounds like a fun wedding.

I had to keep the ratio of Brick & Mortar friends to iFriends at 4/1. You guys would have tipped the scales. As it stands, my nosey aunts sniffed out the 3 iDudes immediately and will be going back to tell their circles about their dorky nephew who meets friends on the internet. 4/3 and my new in-laws begin to officially wonder about me. I can't have that. You guys will come to the next one.

FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS

Squirrels in my pants.

Holy ####.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Damn, I forgot to bring the Cialis.I guess I should take it easy on the whiskey.

 

[urbanhack]

both of our private parts were burning last night after making guacamole with jalapenos.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Damn, I forgot to bring the Cialis.I guess I should take it easy on the whiskey.

Plus I've been working all morning.I feel like Nick Tortelli in Joe vs. The Volcano.FMLOn the plus side I just poured a Bloody Mary.

 

[urbanhack]

Damn, I forgot to bring the Cialis.I guess I should take it easy on the whiskey.

On the plus side I just poured a Bloody Mary.

Headed to Wrigley for the Cubs/Sox game today...hope to have one of these in my hands shortly.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Damn, I forgot to bring the Cialis.I guess I should take it easy on the whiskey.

On the plus side I just poured a Bloody Mary.

Headed to Wrigley for the Cubs/Sox game today...hope to have one of these in my hands shortly.

Have fun GB.

 

[Sammy3469]

if this is a thread about nothing...does that mean GM's wedding will eventually be nothing?

 

[General Malaise]

both of our private parts were burning last night after making guacamole with jalapenos.

Wait, what????

 

[General Malaise]

if this is a thread about nothing...does that mean GM's wedding will eventually be nothing?

Not this time, GB. I even went against the advice of my attorney and rejected a pre-nup. This is the one that takes me into old age and eventually into the ground. Of that, I'm certain.

 

[saintfool]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

you need a blog, amigo...

 

[Sammy3469]

if this is a thread about nothing...does that mean GM's wedding will eventually be nothing?

Not this time, GB. I even went against the advice of my attorney and rejected a pre-nup. This is the one that takes me into old age and eventually into the ground. Of that, I'm certain.

one way or the other

 

[Disco Stu]

How did I miss this thread?

Better clear my afternoon schedule...

 

[Bob Sacamano]

if this is a thread about nothing...does that mean GM's wedding will eventually be nothing?

Not this time, GB. I even went against the advice of my attorney and rejected a pre-nup. This is the one that takes me into old age and eventually into the ground. Of that, I'm certain.

We need one of those where the guy bangs his other head against the wall repeatedly. Preferrably with a loud, "thwap" every time it hits.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

you need a blog, amigo...

Sorry. I won't post this crap any more.

 

[Disco Stu]

Check in through the airport was, thankfully, uneventful. Well, that is if you forget the fact that my youngest son began to take his pants off to deposit them in the security bucket along with his shoes before I could turn around and tell him we didn't actually have to go through the airport screen naked like his older brother had told him.

Lots of gold in this thread, but that's my favorite part.

 

[Radical Larry]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

 

[General Malaise]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

Which God are we talking about here? My God? He likes some cleavage. He also likes pot brownies and curse words. But the mormons' God? He'd object.

 

[General Malaise]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

you need a blog, amigo...

Sorry. I won't post this crap any more.

You will.

 

[strykerpks]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

you need a blog, amigo...

Sorry. I won't post this crap any more.

You will.

I'm drunk and watching soccer...and not hating it. Does that make me gay?

 

[Radical Larry]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

Which God are we talking about here? My God? He likes some cleavage. He also likes pot brownies and curse words. But the mormons' God? He'd object.

The god that the dudes from the internet who gave me my ordination believe in.

 

[strykerpks]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

Which God are we talking about here? My God? He likes some cleavage. He also likes pot brownies and curse words. But the mormons' God? He'd object.

The god that the dudes from the internet who gave me my ordination believe in.

Flying Spaghetti Monster?If so, will you perform the ceremony for my future ex-wife and I?

 

[Radical Larry]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

Which God are we talking about here? My God? He likes some cleavage. He also likes pot brownies and curse words. But the mormons' God? He'd object.

The god that the dudes from the internet who gave me my ordination believe in.

Flying Spaghetti Monster?If so, will you perform the ceremony for my future ex-wife and I?

Not sure I'm legit in your state of choice.

 

[strykerpks]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

Which God are we talking about here? My God? He likes some cleavage. He also likes pot brownies and curse words. But the mormons' God? He'd object.

The god that the dudes from the internet who gave me my ordination believe in.

Flying Spaghetti Monster?If so, will you perform the ceremony for my future ex-wife and I?

Not sure I'm legit in your state of choice.

Didn't realize FSM wasn't accepted worldwide

 

[cosjobs]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

Which God are we talking about here? My God? He likes some cleavage. He also likes pot brownies and curse words. But the mormons' God? He'd object.

The god that the dudes from the internet who gave me my ordination believe in.

Flying Spaghetti Monster?If so, will you perform the ceremony for my future ex-wife and I?

Originally GM had asked me to perform his wedding ceremony. Imagine how great this thread would have been if I showed up drunk, half an hour late, with a carload of strippers and a melted ice cream cake.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

you need a blog, amigo...

Sorry. I won't post this crap any more.

You will.

Nah. Nobody thinks it's interesting, fun or funny.Take last night. Mrs. SLB is putting the boys to bed as I'm sitting on the porch listening to the local classic rock station US 97. The cabin is on top of a hill and right off the main road that leads to the area so it isn't all that unusual to have a car go by every now and then. What I was surprised by though was when a car pulled up and was flashing their lights at me. Now the lights are directly in my face and I had to turn my head, the flashing befuddled me though. The car pulls up and to what should my blind wandering eyes did appear but two young blonds, drinking beer. They asked me where cabin 5 was, I introduced myself and they left. Mrs. SLB then comes out, I tell her she missed the blonds and she called me a drunk and a liar. The nerve. I told her I wasn't particularly amusing or funny and she agreed. I was talking about with the blonds though. The boys were out like a light after a long day and I poured another drink and grabbed Mrs. SLB a beer. When I returned, the two blonds were outside talking to Mrs. SLB. See, I wasn't lying this time. I grabbed them a couple of beers and we started talking. They came up to say they were sorry for blinding me. Turns out they are Juniors from Missouri State. A couple more beers and a joint later and the conversation turns to sex. They couldn't believe Mrs. SLB had never hooked up with a girl before. Well, long story short, I didn't need any performance enhancing drugs for the 3 of them.

 

[Disco Stu]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

you need a blog, amigo...

Sorry. I won't post this crap any more.

You will.

Nah. Nobody thinks it's interesting, fun or funny.Take last night. Mrs. SLB is putting the boys to bed as I'm sitting on the porch listening to the local classic rock station US 97. The cabin is on top of a hill and right off the main road that leads to the area so it isn't all that unusual to have a car go by every now and then. What I was surprised by though was when a car pulled up and was flashing their lights at me. Now the lights are directly in my face and I had to turn my head, the flashing befuddled me though. The car pulls up and to what should my blind wandering eyes did appear but two young blonds, drinking beer. They asked me where cabin 5 was, I introduced myself and they left. Mrs. SLB then comes out, I tell her she missed the blonds and she called me a drunk and a liar. The nerve. I told her I wasn't particularly amusing or funny and she agreed. I was talking about with the blonds though. The boys were out like a light after a long day and I poured another drink and grabbed Mrs. SLB a beer. When I returned, the two blonds were outside talking to Mrs. SLB. See, I wasn't lying this time. I grabbed them a couple of beers and we started talking. They came up to say they were sorry for blinding me. Turns out they are Juniors from Missouri State. A couple more beers and a joint later and the conversation turns to sex. They couldn't believe Mrs. SLB had never hooked up with a girl before. Well, long story short, I didn't need any performance enhancing drugs for the 3 of them.

Wait. Wait... what?You didn't need any because you were already flying full mast? Or because nothing was going to happen? Or both?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Wait. Wait... what?You didn't need any because you were already flying full mast? Or because nothing was going to happen? Or both?

Having sex with 3 women is so much better than having sex with 1 woman.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Wait. Wait... what?You didn't need any because you were already flying full mast? Or because nothing was going to happen? Or both?

Having sex with 3 women is so much better than having sex with 1 woman.

Even if they're all from Missouri?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Also, if you jump in the pool with your lighter in your pocket, DON'T put it in the microwave to dry it out.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Also, if you jump in the pool with your lighter in your pocket, DON'T put it in the microwave to dry it out.

I, too, enjoy
.

 

[Early_10]

Ran a wedding rehearsal tonight. My first one actually. One of the bridesmaids was wearing a sun-dress that was way too small on top. Things were pretty much falling out. Is that how you dress in front of a man of God?

Which God are we talking about here? My God? He likes some cleavage. He also likes pot brownies and curse words. But the mormons' God? He'd object.

Our God doesn't like the mormon God. The mormon God doesn't even like the mormons. Our God INVENTED boobs.

 

[Radical Larry]

Oh yeah. So last night the kids go straight to sleep. Awesome. Me and Mrs. SLB are sitting on the back porch enjoying some beautiful weather when the unmistakable smell of skunk fills the air. We go inside for a couple of minutes nd it still stinks outside. WTF

We watch the 40yo Virgin and go to bed. Just as we are about to renew our marital vows, my youngest walks in the room and wants to sleep with us because he's scared.

FML

you need a blog, amigo...

Sorry. I won't post this crap any more.

You will.

Nah. Nobody thinks it's interesting, fun or funny.Take last night. Mrs. SLB is putting the boys to bed as I'm sitting on the porch listening to the local classic rock station US 97. The cabin is on top of a hill and right off the main road that leads to the area so it isn't all that unusual to have a car go by every now and then. What I was surprised by though was when a car pulled up and was flashing their lights at me. Now the lights are directly in my face and I had to turn my head, the flashing befuddled me though. The car pulls up and to what should my blind wandering eyes did appear but two young blonds, drinking beer. They asked me where cabin 5 was, I introduced myself and they left. Mrs. SLB then comes out, I tell her she missed the blonds and she called me a drunk and a liar. The nerve. I told her I wasn't particularly amusing or funny and she agreed. I was talking about with the blonds though. The boys were out like a light after a long day and I poured another drink and grabbed Mrs. SLB a beer. When I returned, the two blonds were outside talking to Mrs. SLB. See, I wasn't lying this time. I grabbed them a couple of beers and we started talking. They came up to say they were sorry for blinding me. Turns out they are Juniors from Missouri State. A couple more beers and a joint later and the conversation turns to sex. They couldn't believe Mrs. SLB had never hooked up with a girl before. Well, long story short, I didn't need any performance enhancing drugs for the 3 of them.

What kind of beer?