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GM's thread about nothing (6 Viewers)

I don't know any more. Since last Tuesday, all I've had to eat was a raisin. One. Last Saturday. But I appreciate the support and hope to be back soon.
This really can't be good for you.
I know--I shouldn't have eaten it but I had a weak moment and a box of Raisin Bran in my hand.
Is this whole thing because TidesofWar talked angry at Oliver H. and now you secretly think Tides is a better man and he's going to be in Memphis for a strong man contest and you want to look your best when he's in town because you never know?
 
I don't know any more. Since last Tuesday, all I've had to eat was a raisin. One. Last Saturday. But I appreciate the support and hope to be back soon.
This really can't be good for you.
I know--I shouldn't have eaten it but I had a weak moment and a box of Raisin Bran in my hand.
Is this whole thing because TidesofWar talked angry at Oliver H. and now you secretly think Tides is a better man and he's going to be in Memphis for a strong man contest and you want to look your best when he's in town because you never know?
:lmao: :wub: ToW :wub: Does that guy still post here? I miss him.

YSR, I haven't read that thread--worth looking up? Do you have an intended yet?

 
I don't know any more. Since last Tuesday, all I've had to eat was a raisin. One. Last Saturday. But I appreciate the support and hope to be back soon.
This really can't be good for you.
I know--I shouldn't have eaten it but I had a weak moment and a box of Raisin Bran in my hand.
Is this whole thing because TidesofWar talked angry at Oliver H. and now you secretly think Tides is a better man and he's going to be in Memphis for a strong man contest and you want to look your best when he's in town because you never know?
:confused: :wub: ToW :wub: Does that guy still post here? I miss him.

YSR, I haven't read that thread--worth looking up? Do you have an intended yet?
Didn't read the whole thing. Made me chuckle when I first glanced through it though.No intended yet. I've asked for a brief timeout on all of that. Still a little scarred from the hoarders.

 
So for the 4th of July weekend, I took my 3 year old, Jackson, to the Adirondacks where we stayed at my Uncle's summer home with about a dozen other relatives. Jackson and I went to an amusement / water park which was lovely until the kiddie pool was shut down because some kid (not mine) pooped in the pool. I didn't see the actual poop, but I have no reason to believe they would lie about it. So we go back to the house and every time one of my relatives asks Jackson about the park, he tells them, with an intense look on his face, "someone pooped in the pool".Now a couple hours later we go out to dinner and at the end of dinner, Jackson whispers to me that he has to do a poop. Now for some reason, he has regressed over the last month when it comes to doing #2 on the potty. He will go #1 in the potty with no issues, but he now refuses to sit on the potty and drop the kids off at the pool. So when the urge strikes, he asks to put on a pull-up so he can drop. So he and I leave early and go back to the house so he can put on his pull-up and do his thing. Just as I finished changing him, everyone else comes back to the house from dinner. My cousin, who was golfing all day but heard about the "poop in the pool" story has the following exchange with my son:Cousin: "hey Jackson, did someone poop in the pool today?"Jackson (very matter-of-factly): "Not me, I pooped in my pants"Apparently he felt he was being accused of being the "pool pooper" and felt the need to defend himself by providing a poop alibi. I've never been so proud.
:confused:
 
Holy frick she's in my shower right now.

There may or may not be a rabbit involved.

Banged her twice.

More info to come. Yay Homer. Boo Homer. Not really sure which one is appropriate.

 
Holy frick she's in my shower right now.There may or may not be a rabbit involved.Banged her twice.More info to come. Yay Homer. Boo Homer. Not really sure which one is appropriate.
Wait, was the bar story from last night? Timeframe wasn't really front and center in my mind at the time. She get a menstrual tourniquet? You quit caring? WTF happened here? And where's my PM with pictures?
 
Holy frick she's in my shower right now.There may or may not be a rabbit involved.Banged her twice.More info to come. Yay Homer. Boo Homer. Not really sure which one is appropriate.
Wait, was the bar story from last night? Timeframe wasn't really front and center in my mind at the time. She get a menstrual tourniquet? You quit caring? WTF happened here? And where's my PM with pictures?
Of her this time. OF HER!
 
Frosty>don't post in here for awhile. Pain in the rear to delete 9 different posts that circumvent the language filter.

 
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Homer's McVeighing the egg of a ticking time bomb with the promise of child support, conjugal visits, and a lifetime supply of the best blow ever produced from the cavity of a border crosser, and the most interesting part of my night is trying to decide if I pop another bottle of wine or resort to the Coors Light the neighbors left over the 4th of July. Sounds about right.

 
Just took her home.

I'm exhausted...story to be told in the morning when I'm being paid for it. Pics should be forthcoming as well...nothing Tap-worthy yet but I'll work on it.

Things to remember:

Discography

More "does"

Kids

Boy shorts

Definitions

 
Holy frick she's in my shower right now.There may or may not be a rabbit involved.Banged her twice.More info to come. Yay Homer. Boo Homer. Not really sure which one is appropriate.
Wait, was the bar story from last night? Timeframe wasn't really front and center in my mind at the time. She get a menstrual tourniquet? You quit caring? WTF happened here? And where's my PM with pictures?
Of her this time. OF HER!
Oops, Homer.Just delete the PM GB. :mellow:
 
Holy frick she's in my shower right now.There may or may not be a rabbit involved.Banged her twice.More info to come. Yay Homer. Boo Homer. Not really sure which one is appropriate.
Wait, was the bar story from last night? Timeframe wasn't really front and center in my mind at the time. She get a menstrual tourniquet? You quit caring? WTF happened here? And where's my PM with pictures?
Of her this time. OF HER!
Oops, Homer.Just delete the PM GB. :mellow:
Nah. I sent it along to JAA.
 
You know you are skkke-rewed when you look at your husband and say, "I wish I had a normal family life like you did" , and his normal family life included a mom who chose alcohol over her kids and a dad who is on his third wife. I told him it's still better than having secret walls in walls and knowing the grace period to register un-registered weapons

P.S. My daughter's b-day cake looked great and tasted even better. I did end up cutting off the burned section, letting the cake cool and then frosted. I had not connected the dots about my oven cooking hot...but yet a few years ago I had figured out that I had to cook the blueberry muffins that my kids like at a significantly lower temp. it should have occurred to me then that it wasn't a misprint on the box, but my oven.

Oh well... :popcorn:

 
update to throat numbing syrup: after a few seconds of gargling I spit it out and then realize that I can't breathe. As I'm gasping for air my wife is looking at me in a bit of a panic, however it's at that moment that I realize I am breathing but that I just feal like I'm suffocating. :shrug: I'll have to slip this in her drink if I want to pursue it further because noway in hell is she going to gargle it after watching that. :wall:

It has a large amount of benadryl in it and it knocked me out about a half hour later...so... :popcorn:

I need to unseahorn this damn thread :finger:

 
Ready for what should be a great weekend. Headed to Austin with three buddies Friday afternoon. Bachelor Party #1 for one of them. :shrug:Going out on 6th Street that night, tubing the river Saturday, and then going out again. None of us have any problem talking to wimmens, so it should be a good time. Only complication is that the bride to be happens to be having a concurrent bachelorette party in Austin. So he won't quite feel safe enough to get too out of control, but that's ok. This is just a warm-up anyway. Bachelor Party #2 will be in Vegas.And now it sounds like we're going out again after driving back to Dallas Sunday. One of my buddies just forwarded this text from some chick he works with (likely a nurse)...

Sunday may work. Can I bring my hot single friend with me if it's gonna be you and a bunch of other guys?
By that point, I'm guessing "bunch of other guys" will be down to just me. The groom to be will be done. And the other guy will likely need to get home to his girlfriend.
 
12 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 3 Anonymous Users)

8 Members: That Little Voice, Ned, Frostillicus, Sammy3469, Homer J Simpson

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)

 
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Homer's McVeighing the egg of a ticking time bomb with the promise of child support, conjugal visits, and a lifetime supply of the best blow ever produced from the cavity of a border crosser, and the most interesting part of my night is trying to decide if I pop another bottle of wine or resort to the Coors Light the neighbors left over the 4th of July. Sounds about right.
:confused: :no: :blackdot:
 
12 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 3 Anonymous Users)

8 Members: That Little Voice, Ned, Frostillicus, Sammy3469, Homer J Simpson

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)
7 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 1 Anonymous Users)

6 Members: Shooter McGavin, General Malaise, Mr Clean, Mr.Pack, Ned, Tremendous Upside
:flaccid:WTF, Homer?! WE NEED THIS!!!!!11

 
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12 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 3 Anonymous Users)

8 Members: That Little Voice, Ned, Frostillicus, Sammy3469, Homer J Simpson

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)
7 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 1 Anonymous Users)

6 Members: Shooter McGavin, General Malaise, Mr Clean, Mr.Pack, Ned, Tremendous Upside
:flaccid:WTF, Homer?! WE NEED THIS!!!!!11
When you hit, "Preview Post", you leave the thread and disappear at the bottom. I'm betting on that. Homer's a proofreader.
 
I feel like crap and my humor and/or writing skills are at a very low ebb.

I figure an entertaining update later is better than a substandard one right now.

 
12 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 3 Anonymous Users)

8 Members: That Little Voice, Ned, Frostillicus, Sammy3469, Homer J Simpson

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)

He's going to tell (he's going to tell)
7 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 1 Anonymous Users)

6 Members: Shooter McGavin, General Malaise, Mr Clean, Mr.Pack, Ned, Tremendous Upside
:flaccid:WTF, Homer?! WE NEED THIS!!!!!11
When you hit, "Preview Post", you leave the thread and disappear at the bottom. I'm betting on that. Homer's a proofreader.
I hope so. I'm going to be pissed if I whipped it out in the office for nothing.
 
I feel like crap and my humor and/or writing skills are at a very low ebb.I figure an entertaining update later is better than a substandard one right now.
This is bull####. I'm not putting up with this. You get your ### out to the Caribou Coffe, buy yourself a large black steaming hot cup of inspiration, dump some vodka in there, and find your humor for the benefit of humanity. This isn't some insignificant career-making work product you can just blow off like nothing happened. The internet is depending on you, GB. Get your mind right.
 

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