GM's thread about nothing (28 Viewers)

[KGB]

Anyway, she showered up and I took her home.

Didn't expect that. She must've have had an early morning Nazi-rally. Also, it would've been great if when you went "down town" you discovered that in addition to being "clean shaven like a 5th grade cheerleader" (that line distracted me, btw) she had a tattoo that said "THIS IS WHERE DESTINY'S CHILD COMES FROM"

Looking forward to more updates.

Even her baby hole is a skinhead.

 

[[icon]]

Are we certain letting the bat#### crazy chick with the heavily armed neo-nazi family know where you live was a good idea?

I haven't been laid in months

This is why god invented hotels and backseats. I somehow doubt this chick is going to start critiquing the location of the deed. This gal sounds like the type of chick you can #### up against a dumpster behind a denny's in broad daylight without a so much as a hint of resistance.

 

[Kendall]

Longer "relationship":Homer shtups the NaziWoz makes love to the racist

Is woz still dating the racist?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Anyway, she showered up and I took her home.

Didn't expect that. She must've have had an early morning Nazi-rally. Also, it would've been great if when you went "down town" you discovered that in addition to being "clean shaven like a 5th grade cheerleader" (that line distracted me, btw) she had a tattoo that said "THIS IS WHERE DESTINY'S CHILD COMES FROM"

Looking forward to more updates.

Even her baby hole is a skinhead.

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Longer "relationship":Homer shtups the NaziWoz makes love to the racist

Is woz still dating the racist?

I'd guess either they're married or he's crying weekly because he misses her.

 

[Sammy3469]

Are we certain letting the bat#### crazy chick with the heavily armed neo-nazi family know where you live was a good idea?

I haven't been laid in months

This is why god invented hotels and backseats. I somehow doubt this chick is going to start critiquing the location of the deed. This gal sounds like the type of chick you can #### up against a dumpster behind a denny's in broad daylight without a so much as a hint of resistance.

denny's may be too classy

 

[Kendall]

Longer "relationship":Homer shtups the NaziWoz makes love to the racist

Is woz still dating the racist?

I'd guess either they're married or he's crying weekly because he misses her.

In either case, Homer has some work to do. Although if Homer does any crying it will likely be because of one of the followingositive Paternity TestPositive STD testShe carves a swastika into his back

 

[Homer J Simpson]

1. I come to Memphis

This needs to happen.

I agree wholeheartedly, GB.

Are we certain letting the bat#### crazy chick with the heavily armed neo-nazi family know where you live was a good idea?

Can anything I've done regarding this chick be considered a good idea?

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Longer "relationship":Homer shtups the NaziWoz makes love to the racist

Is woz still dating the racist?

I'd guess either they're married or he's crying weekly because he misses her.

In either case, Homer has some work to do. Although if Homer does any crying it will likely be because of one of the followingositive Paternity TestPositive STD testShe carves a swastika into his backHer oldest daughter turns 18

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Are we certain letting the bat#### crazy chick with the heavily armed neo-nazi family know where you live was a good idea?

I haven't been laid in months

This is why god invented hotels and backseats. I somehow doubt this chick is going to start critiquing the location of the deed. This gal sounds like the type of chick you can #### up against a dumpster behind a denny's in broad daylight without a so much as a hint of resistance.

denny's may be too classy

"Who wants a real Grand Slam breakfast?"

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Are we certain letting the bat#### crazy chick with the heavily armed neo-nazi family know where you live was a good idea?

I haven't been laid in months

This is why god invented hotels and backseats. I somehow doubt this chick is going to start critiquing the location of the deed. This gal sounds like the type of chick you can #### up against a dumpster behind a denny's in broad daylight without a so much as a hint of resistance.

Got that on the schedule tomorrow as a matter of fact.

 

[jplvr]

Anyway, she showered up and I took her home.

Didn't expect that. She must've have had an early morning Nazi-rally. Also, it would've been great if when you went "down town" you discovered that in addition to being "clean shaven like a 5th grade cheerleader" (that line distracted me, btw) she had a tattoo that said "THIS IS WHERE DESTINY'S CHILD COMES FROM"

Looking forward to more updates.

Even her baby hole is a skinhead.

Pretty much 3 pages of greatness, but I felt cheated considering this was the post which made me scroll back. I already knew the ending to a great story.

 

[Kendall]

Longer "relationship":Homer shtups the NaziWoz makes love to the racist

Is woz still dating the racist?

I'd guess either they're married or he's crying weekly because he misses her.

In either case, Homer has some work to do. Although if Homer does any crying it will likely be because of one of the followingositive Paternity TestPositive STD testShe carves a swastika into his backHer oldest daughter turns 18

 

[Running with scissors]

Homer:

I'm looking at breaking into the whole doing music industry. Can you get your new flame to provide some insight?

Jug or washboard?

How do you keep your whites really white? (Yes I know we can't talk about bleach anymore.)

What's the best five syllable phrase to rhyme with "It burns when I pee"?

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Anyway, she showered up and I took her home.

Didn't expect that. She must've have had an early morning Nazi-rally. Also, it would've been great if when you went "down town" you discovered that in addition to being "clean shaven like a 5th grade cheerleader" (that line distracted me, btw) she had a tattoo that said "THIS IS WHERE DESTINY'S CHILD COMES FROM"

Looking forward to more updates.

*** SPOILER ALERT! Click this link to display the potential spoiler text in this box. ***

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Pretty much 3 pages of greatness, but I felt cheated considering this was the post which made me scroll back. I already knew the ending to a great story. Sorry. Fixed

 

[krista4]

But before I start, a quick question.How F###ING HOT was Mia Sara in Ferris Beuller's Day Off? How the hell did she not parlay that into major stardom? Jebus.

Mia Sara is a friend of a friend of mine. Same high-end Brooklyn school. Just sayin'. She was very smart as well as everything else.

OK, we're going to go with a multi-step plan here, girl.1. I come to Memphis and we begin the journey toward becoming real life friends.2. You come to Youngstown, see me in my natural environment, meet my friends, and things regress quickly.3. I come back to Memphis, convince you that the Youngstown trip never happened, and we become bestest buddies.4. We take a trip to New York or LA or wherever Mia Sara lives and we have a night on the town.5. I sweep her off her feet with my working-class-genius, Good Will Hunting-esque charms.6. In case I don't have those things, we're just going to destroy her self esteem and convince her that I'm a big step up.7. WIf that doesn't work, I kick the crap out of Matthew Broderick. That's gotta help, right?

One problem: she would be 43-44 years old now.

 

[Kendall]

Homer:I'm looking at breaking into the whole doing music industry. Can you get your new flame to provide some insight?Jug or washboard?How do you keep your whites really white? (Yes I know we can't talk about bleach anymore.)What's the best five syllable phrase to rhyme with "It burns when I pee"?

 

[jplvr]

But before I start, a quick question.

How F###ING HOT was Mia Sara in Ferris Beuller's Day Off? How the hell did she not parlay that into major stardom? Jebus.

Mia Sara is a friend of a friend of mine. Same high-end Brooklyn school. Just sayin'. She was very smart as well as everything else.

OK, we're going to go with a multi-step plan here, girl.1. I come to Memphis and we begin the journey toward becoming real life friends.

2. You come to Youngstown, see me in my natural environment, meet my friends, and things regress quickly.

3. I come back to Memphis, convince you that the Youngstown trip never happened, and we become bestest buddies.

4. We take a trip to New York or LA or wherever Mia Sara lives and we have a night on the town.

5. I sweep her off her feet with my working-class-genius, Good Will Hunting-esque charms.

6. In case I don't have those things, we're just going to destroy her self esteem and convince her that I'm a big step up.

7. WIf that doesn't work, I kick the crap out of Matthew Broderick. That's gotta help, right?

One problem: she would be 43-44 years old now.

I'd still hit it:http://celebrity-pics.movieeye.com/celebri..._Sara_49328.JPG

 

[FatMax]

But before I start, a quick question.

How F###ING HOT was Mia Sara in Ferris Beuller's Day Off? How the hell did she not parlay that into major stardom? Jebus.

Mia Sara is a friend of a friend of mine. Same high-end Brooklyn school. Just sayin'. She was very smart as well as everything else.

OK, we're going to go with a multi-step plan here, girl.1. I come to Memphis and we begin the journey toward becoming real life friends.

2. You come to Youngstown, see me in my natural environment, meet my friends, and things regress quickly.

3. I come back to Memphis, convince you that the Youngstown trip never happened, and we become bestest buddies.

4. We take a trip to New York or LA or wherever Mia Sara lives and we have a night on the town.

5. I sweep her off her feet with my working-class-genius, Good Will Hunting-esque charms.

6. In case I don't have those things, we're just going to destroy her self esteem and convince her that I'm a big step up.

7. WIf that doesn't work, I kick the crap out of Matthew Broderick. That's gotta help, right?

One problem: she would be 43-44 years old now.

I'd still hit it:http://celebrity-pics.movieeye.com/celebri..._Sara_49328.JPG

Eh ...http://ll-media.tmz.com/2009/03/06/0306_memba_reveal.jpg

 

[jplvr]

Eh ...

http://ll-media.tmz.com/2009/03/06/0306_memba_reveal.jpg

Damn you!!!

 

[Mr. Pickles]

want

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Homer:

I'm looking at breaking into the whole doing music industry. Can you get your new flame to provide some insight?

Jug or washboard?

How do you keep your whites really white? (Yes I know we can't talk about bleach anymore.)

What's the best five syllable phrase to rhyme with "It burns when I pee"?

[borntorun]The O-K's filled with bigoted nazis and her babies survivedHer body's trumpin' her IQ tonight

and I'm runnin' out of pride

It's my Destiney to drink in the madness

And fill her with all the badness in my pole

Discography has her shuked

but lil' Homer knows the place

Where he really needs to go

despite dental debris

And now I'm bummed out 'cause

baby it burns when I pee.[/springsteen]

 

[Shooter McGavin]

Homer:

I'm looking at breaking into the whole doing music industry. Can you get your new flame to provide some insight?

Jug or washboard?

How do you keep your whites really white? (Yes I know we can't talk about bleach anymore.)

What's the best five syllable phrase to rhyme with "It burns when I pee"?

[borntorun]The O-K's filled with bigoted nazis and her babies survivedHer body's trumpin' her IQ tonight

and I'm runnin' out of pride

It's my Destiney to drink in the madness

And fill her with all the badness in my pole

Discography has her shuked

but lil' Homer knows the place

Where he really needs to go

despite dental debris

And now I'm bummed out 'cause

baby it burns when I pee.[/springsteen]

You have a gift. That's doing some good music there.

 

[urbanhack]

WTF...she looks 53

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Probably should have put that in spoiler tags. Sorry jeep.

 

[Mr.Pack]

1. I come to Memphis

This needs to happen.

I agree wholeheartedly, GB.

Are we certain letting the bat#### crazy chick with the heavily armed neo-nazi family know where you live was a good idea?

Can anything I've done regarding this chick be considered a good idea?

Surely she will go for having som:e: pics tak:e:n right?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Homer:

I'm looking at breaking into the whole doing music industry. Can you get your new flame to provide some insight?

Jug or washboard?

How do you keep your whites really white? (Yes I know we can't talk about bleach anymore.)

What's the best five syllable phrase to rhyme with "It burns when I pee"?

[borntorun]The O-K's filled with bigoted nazis and her babies survivedHer body's trumpin' her IQ tonight

and I'm runnin' out of pride

It's my Destiney to drink in the madness

And fill her with all the badness in my pole

Discography has her shuked

but lil' Homer knows the place

Where he really needs to go

despite dental debris

And now I'm bummed out 'cause

baby it burns when I pee.[/springsteen]

You do music real good!

 

[Kendall]

<---- Doing Bob's music outloud right now

 

[EYLive]

Way to go DiscoHomer!

 

[Tremendous Upside]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

 

[Sideshow Bob]

Homer:

I'm looking at breaking into the whole doing music industry. Can you get your new flame to provide some insight?

Jug or washboard?

How do you keep your whites really white? (Yes I know we can't talk about bleach anymore.)

What's the best five syllable phrase to rhyme with "It burns when I pee"?

[borntorun]The O-K's filled with bigoted nazis and her babies survivedHer body's trumpin' her IQ tonight

and I'm runnin' out of pride

It's my Destiney to drink in the madness

And fill her with all the badness in my pole

Discography has her shuked

but lil' Homer knows the place

Where he really needs to go

despite dental debris

And now I'm bummed out 'cause

baby it burns when I pee.[/springsteen]

You do music real good!

I do both kinds - country AND western.

 

[FatMax]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

I also learned that she didn't have three kids, she has four. The oldest, which she had at 17, is named Ashton. Yes, you know who he was named after.

 

[Kendall]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

She was 17 when she had the first child, and named it Ashton, the child is not currently seventeen. I confused myself with that one too.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

She was 17 when she had the first child, and named it Ashton, the child is not currently seventeen. I confused myself with that one too.

Ahh, that makes more senseStupid reading comprehension

 

[General Malaise]

She was also impressed by my use of spectacular. I mean, there are four syllables after all.

Oh my holy jeebus..... And if it hasn't been posted already, go check out "Black Day Blue Night". Mia ain't bashful, GB. Enjoy....

 

[Sideshow Bob]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

I also learned that she didn't have three kids, she has four. The oldest, which she had at 17, is named Ashton. Yes, you know who he was named after.

Yeah, I don't think T-Up does lots of reading - indie or otherwise.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

I also learned that she didn't have three kids, she has four. The oldest, which she had at 17, is named Ashton. Yes, you know who he was named after.

Yeah, I don't think T-Up does lots of reading - indie or otherwise.

It's trueI'm functionally illiterate

 

[Sideshow Bob]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

I also learned that she didn't have three kids, she has four. The oldest, which she had at 17, is named Ashton. Yes, you know who he was named after.

Yeah, I don't think T-Up does lots of reading - indie or otherwise.

It's trueI'm functionally illiterate

a Capella

 

[General Malaise]

File this under "you read that whole post and this is what you're asking about", but what's the non-verb definition of "envelop"?

Destiney's v'j enveloped HJS's peepee

That's a verb, Steinbeck.

 

[General Malaise]

Yes, I went down for a visit...

 

[General Malaise]

Yes, I went down for a visit...

Jesus... This thread is funnier than funny.

 

[zander_s]

Holy crap! I had to walk out of a clients office before i soiled the furniture!!

Lots of funny happening up in here!

 

[Tremendous Upside]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher

I also learned that she didn't have three kids, she has four. The oldest, which she had at 17, is named Ashton. Yes, you know who he was named after.

Yeah, I don't think T-Up does lots of reading - indie or otherwise.

It's trueI'm functionally illiterate

a Capella

He's illiterate also?

 

[General Malaise]

good nightI would go to the VD clinic this morning just to be safe.

Take her a morning after pill at the very least.And just to be safe, pop one yourself.

I wouldn't even rule confession out.

 

[jplvr]

Probably should have put that in spoiler tags. Sorry jeep.

Nah, I might not have scrolled back if not for that winner.Some woman ruined The Sixth Sense for me, but it was stilil good and the only thing worth watching M. (whatever the rest of his name is) has made. I won't hold the same disdain for you I hold for that... oof, now that I think about it... she has liver cancer now. I guess I should stop holding a grudge. I'm going to go flog myself now.

 

[jplvr]

How could a 17 year old be named after Ashton Kutcher?

She was 17 when she had the first child, and named it Ashton, the child is not currently seventeen. I confused myself with that one too.

Ahh, that makes more senseStupid reading comprehension

I was :shuked: as well.

 

[Tecumseh]

Homer:I'm looking at breaking into the whole doing music industry. Can you get your new flame to provide some insight?Jug or washboard?How do you keep your whites really white? (Yes I know we can't talk about bleach anymore.)What's the best five syllable phrase to rhyme with "It burns when I pee"?

But this ain't about meCause baby can't you seeThat I'm in love with an Okie (Okie,Okie, Okie) ?Not 5 syllables, but I think it's catchy. (PUNS!)

 

[General Malaise]

Anyway, she showered up and I took her home.

Didn't expect that. She must've have had an early morning Nazi-rally. Also, it would've been great if when you went "down town" you discovered that in addition to being "clean shaven like a 5th grade cheerleader" (that line distracted me, btw) she had a tattoo that said "THIS IS WHERE DESTINY'S CHILD COMES FROM"

Looking forward to more updates.

Even her baby hole is a skinhead.

:( :(

 

[heckmanm]

Her body's trumpin' her IQ tonight

and I'm runnin' out of pride

Little bit of genius right there.

 

[EYLive]

When a guy brushes his hair forward, it leaves a sort of mini bald spot in the back of his head. Kinda like this.

Is there a name for this section of the hair?