commisholio
Come out with your pants down!
I'll take a forwarded PM as well if anyone get it.
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GM's thread about nothing (23 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
guru_007> I will send cookies if you PM me the joke.
I know at least one woman who would laugh at it.
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
I think I know several females who would laugh at it; or worst case, not be horrified
I might need to test drive this theory at female friend's birthday this Saturday
I might need to test drive this theory at female friend's birthday this Saturday
TobiasFunke
Footballguy
This is enough to clue me in that I know this one, and possibly heard it from the same guy as Sweet J.It's better to hear in person, though. You gotta get the faces and hand movements involved to really pull it off right.
YSR
Footballguy
krista4
Footballguy
I'm not horrified or offended, but I also didn't find it funny.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I think I've misjudged the entire female gender on this joke issue....
Not the first nor the last time I've misjudged the entire gender before.
Not the first nor the last time I've misjudged the entire gender before.
Lance Uppercut
Footballguy
I'll take a PM
General Malaise
Footballguy
Hey, does anybody here know anything about Sales? What would be 2-3 of the best books out there to help an idiot turn into a marketing/sales machine? My 2011 resolution is to not suck so much at my job.
TIA,
FFA Addict who could probably double his salary by giving up this vice
TIA,
FFA Addict who could probably double his salary by giving up this vice
General Malaise
Footballguy
Huh. I guess the only reaction I predicted accurately was Homer's.
the rover
Footballguy
-fish-
Footballguy
are you insane, man? which is more important: GM succeeding at his career or our daily entertainment?
General Malaise
Footballguy
a) So help me god if I click on that and it takes me to a 'how to' book on {rhymes with bedofeelya}....2) Let's not go crazy here.
the rover
Footballguy
Not shticking here, it's a really good book.a) So help me god if I click on that and it takes me to a 'how to' book on {rhymes with bedofeelya}....2) Let's not go crazy here.
Thorn
Footballguy
I believe you have my address.guru_007> I will send cookies if you PM me the joke.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Ocean Pines, MD is awesome.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
I've heard really good things about Integrity Selling.
heckmanm
Footballguy
Ditto. Or perhaps it could be reposted els:e:where?
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
This joke. I need it.
heckmanm
Footballguy
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General Malaise
Footballguy
Will look for it at the library. Thanks.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
It depends what you're selling. There are a few good threads around here on sales. But the biggest thing is the thing nobody wants to hear - there's not really a magic bullet. You can't say some magic word that's going to cause everyone to jump aboard. You just need more leads. Which means you need to put in more time.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...ales+jobs\
A search for GM. Some good threads mixed in.
A search for GM. Some good threads mixed in.
General Malaise
Footballguy
But the leads are weak?It depends what you're selling. There are a few good threads around here on sales. But the biggest thing is the thing nobody wants to hear - there's not really a magic bullet. You can't say some magic word that's going to cause everyone to jump aboard. You just need more leads. Which means you need to put in more time.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Thanks Dr. Awesome....if that IS your real name.I know there is no magic bullet, but I don't have any sales experience and it's a bigger focus of my job. We have leads, it's just a matter of landing them. I have to do better. I can make a hell of a lot more money if I do. I just haven't closed very well after getting off to a hot start.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
How are the top performers in your company/industry getting their leads? What are you doing differently?
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
In my experience the single biggest reason people lose a lead is because they don't stay in touch. It's certainly not the only reason and things can vary from sales industry to sales industry but I cannot tell you the number of sales folk I've watched crash and burn because their #1 fault was their inability to consistently 'touch' the prospect.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Is this the one about someone's vocabulary? I heard this one when it was told to about 30 people (about a quarter of them female) at a dinner in professional setting. Awkward.
the rover
Footballguy
Yes, I believe so.Is this the one about someone's vocabulary? I heard this one when it was told to about 30 people (about a quarter of them female) at a dinner in professional setting. Awkward.
General Malaise
Footballguy
It all depends. The big boys have established relationships with consultants who match up big money investors with hedge fund managers. To date, we have failed to find even one consultant who will consider us for reasons that are numerous, but not impenetrable. Many firms use Third Party Marketers to do their work for them. We simply don't have the money available to do that. Some firms benefit from Capital Introduction from their Prime Brokers, something we haven't had available to us until recently moving from one PB to another (which was done in October, has generated some good leads, but no money....yet).
What has worked for us over the years is having our GP write articles for well established, well read Newsletters with an invitation to contact us for investment opportunities. In addition, we have booked several radio interviews and appeared in Barron's. That yielded quite a few leads, but sadly, no money...yet. Over the years, I've built a database of several hundred individuals and institutions who have expressed interest in us and have remained in the rotation to receive monthly performance updates and periodic information germane to our funds. We've picked up quite a few investors this way, but I want to capitalize more. I need to pick up the phone and call them more than I do. You don't want to put the hard sell on these people, but I need to arm myself with more motivation and better techniques. I can talk to anybody. I just need to get better at closing deals. Course, the other thing is our minimum investments. At $500K and $250K, it turns away a lot of interested parties. In addition, we are not allowed to have a website, nor can I simply cold call people out of the blue. I have to show some sort of a trail that they approached us for information before we can pitch them. It's a tricky dance.
General Malaise
Footballguy
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General Malaise
Footballguy
Was there also an 8 year old girl involved?Is this the one about someone's vocabulary? I heard this one when it was told to about 30 people (about a quarter of them female) at a dinner in professional setting. Awkward.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Ocean Pines, MD is awesome.
Never been, but keep hearing good things about that area. Where you went is not far from Ocean City, correct?If El Mommo is happy, eveeerybody happy.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Might be a generational thing. 10-15 years Put that coffee down! was a guaranteed crackup. Kids today are
(not that we have that many 'kids' in GMsTAN)
the rover
Footballguy
Oh, and I was hoping my "The leads are weak" would be easily traced back to
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Dammit, I just went to youtube to grab that link. Act as if!
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
That's funny guys, because younger people in sales have been telling me for years that B.R. supplanted G.G.R.
I'm always like, Oh, come on man!
I'm always like, Oh, come on man!
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
#### you. That's my name. You know why, mister? Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty-thousand dollar BMW. THAT's my name. (To Lemmon GM) And your name is you're wanting.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Will you go to lunch? Go to lunch. WILL you GO to LUNCH?
I'm here all night, folks.
I'm here all night, folks.
Early_10
footballgoddess
The answer to this is finding something wedding related that you're okay giving up complete control of to your mother. Then tell her how much you absolutely need her to take care of it. The cake and flowers for example. Does anyone really care what their cake and flowers look like so long as they're not crap?YSR said:Thanks, everyone, for the kind words. Other than a few phone calls, we have been trying to keep a low profile this weekend before the madness of whatever is next starts. Apparently, no such luck, as I've heard from my brother that he spotted an Emily Post etiquette book out on the table when he went to my parents' for New Year's Day lunch - and my dad emailed tonight that I need to beware that my mom has already gotten started with florists, reception sites, etc.I'm the first of their children to get married (and at 33, I'm the youngest), so she's happier than ever. Our ideas of weddings fall on opposite ends of the spectrum (she envisions 300 people, I would be fine going to a Justice of the Peace), so the next few months should be interesting.All the same, thanks again, thanks for being my iFriends, and I hope you've all had a wonderful start to 2011.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I just almost took my eye out. How you ask? I just went to the storage area of my basement to retrieve a new light bulb for the lamp in my office upstairs. I turned a few of the lights on in the finished area but it wasn't bright enough to see. (I got some of those CFL bulbs on sale for .50 a piece when we moved in 8 years ago. Sure they suck but man do they last a long time!) I enter the storage area and see a string dangling in front of me. I instinctively pull it to illuminate my way. The next thing I know some metal blinds are flying towards my noggin and just miss me. That's when I remember my storage area has light switches and we had some old blinds stored between the floor joists.
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Early_10
footballgoddess
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/BYPZse9ueE8RthcbI just almost took my eye out. How you ask? I just went to the storage area of my basement to retrieve a new light bulb for the lamp in my office upstairs. I turned a few of the lights on in the finished area but it wasn't bright enough to see. (I got some of those CFL bulbs on sale for .50 a piece when we moved in 8 years ago. Sure they suck but man do they last a long time!) I enter the storage area and see a string dangling in front of me. I instinctively pull it to illuminate my way. The next thing I know some metal blinds are flying towards my noggin and just miss me. That's when I remember my storage area has light switches and we had some old blinds stored between the floor joists.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
GM, selling is a lot like dating. No shtick. The good looking people are always going to have an advantage even though they may be inept or even drop dead stupid. Books might help but I suggest that you find somebody else close to you to learn from. Just be yourself and you'll be fine. Closing the deal (HAVE SEX WITH ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!) will come in time. You'll also forever look back at some of your first deals with the same sense of horror.
GLGB
GLGB
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
Wait. There are really people who prefer Boiler Room to Glengarry Glen Ross? That's madness.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
More like this with the iron.http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/BYPZse9ueE8RthcbI just almost took my eye out. How you ask? I just went to the storage area of my basement to retrieve a new light bulb for the lamp in my office upstairs. I turned a few of the lights on in the finished area but it wasn't bright enough to see. (I got some of those CFL bulbs on sale for .50 a piece when we moved in 8 years ago. Sure they suck but man do they last a long time!) I enter the storage area and see a string dangling in front of me. I instinctively pull it to illuminate my way. The next thing I know some metal blinds are flying towards my noggin and just miss me. That's when I remember my storage area has light switches and we had some old blinds stored between the floor joists.
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Drifter
Footballguy
I think he just told you that you're ugly gm
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I've never watched BR but I'm going to agree here.
-fish-
Footballguy
depends on whether he thinks GM is good looking. he may have just called him stupid.
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
Boiler Room was written by a guy who also directed an episode of Army WivesGlengarry was written by David MametBoiler Room starred Vin DieselGlengarry starred Al Pacino, Jack Lemmon, Alec Baldwin, Alan Alda, Ed Harris and Kevin SpaceyBoiler Room had lines like:St. Louis Bob said:
Glengarry had lines like:
These two films aren't even in the same leagueIf Glengarry is in the majors, Boiler Room is in Single A
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