GM's thread about nothing (29 Viewers)

[Mr. Pickles]

Met up with a bunch of friends for drinks after work to celebrate the engagment of our friends who had been together for years. He proposed to her last night which was apparently 5 years to the day of their first date. There was about 10 of us there tonight for a few drinks as the newly engaged couple were driving out of state in a couple hours to share the sad happy news with the bride to be's family. (interesting that the bride wasn't drinking she said because she was going to be the one driving tonight, the rest of us are assuming she's pregers and that's why they got engaged)

So after a couple rounds (not to mention I got there early and got a head start) one idiot in the group decides to buy a round of shots for everyone (ok, the idiot is actually me) So we're about to do the shot and then one of my GBs says that someone should make a toast and he nominates me to do it (mostly because he knows that I've been drinking more than anyone else and I'll probably say something inappropriate) So I reached deep down into my soul and came up with the following:

"As we go down life's lonesome's highway (dramatic pause as I sigh)

It seems (slight dramatic pause) the hardest thing to do, (now looking directly at engaged couple)

Is to find (pause, fake like I'm choking up) a friend, or 2.

That helping hand (pause, close my eyes and bite my quivering lower lip)

Someone who understands.

When you feel (slight pause) you've lost your way,

You've got someone there to say: (very dramatic pause)

I'll show you. (now tapping my fist on my heart and pointing to the happy couple)

Here's to the happy couple, Cheers."

Yep, they thought I'd be inappropriate, but instead I quoted Lionel Richie's "Say You... Say Me" and performed it like a 5 time Oscar winner!!!! The bride-to-be had tears in her eyes as she hugged me and said how beautiful that was. A couple GB's commented on how "deep" that was. The groom-to-be hugged me and said "sorry dude, that must have tough for you, I know your divorce was rough". I am completely and utterly shuked that no one knew what I had just done. I kinda feel like I should get some credit for my performance, but they all think it was just a heart felt toast. WTF!!!

So everyone gets up to leave and I go to pay my tab to the bartender and he says to me: "Hey, nice toast Lionel. Maybe if the happy couple has a kid, you could qoute some versus from "I Believe The Children Are The Future" at the baptism" That ugly bartender with a creepy lazy eye made my night with that comment.

Well done, but I'm not buying it. You sort of had me until the bartender's line.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

To those who use the Neti-Pot squeeze bottle, I get a little skeezed out after a few uses. Do you wash it in the dishwasher after each use? How do you make sure you aren't squirting bacteria up into the nether regions of your cranium?

 

[Frostillicus]

I use one of these nasal rinse things daily, usually first thing in the morning. It's kind of gross but it feels great and if you have allergies, I highly recommend it. Usually, I give a squirt in each nostril, it comes out the other side and, aloha, I'm done. Blow my nose, and done. Well sometimes, the water gets lodged up in my brain or something and an hour or so later water will come dripping out. Pretty sic, I know. Today I forgot to do it in the morning and I didn't leave the house until 1 so I cleaned them out and off I went to a new client. I'm talking to one gal and turn my head to talk to another when water comes flowing out of my nose. I'm pretty sure they think I'm a giant coke head.

You're kind of a train wreck, aren't ya?

 

[Frostillicus]

Pick my movie of the evening:1. Brooklyn's Finest (never seen)2. 2nd half of Once Upon A Time In The West (on DVD; started watching the other night; haven't seen in 100 years)3. Stand By Me (seen a bunch but not in the last 10 years or so)4. Rocky III ( )

I'm going to watch The Town. Hope that helps.

 

[Frostillicus]

I'm a big fan of the guy, but MOP is kind of nuts.

"kind of"?

I'm not getting ivolved in that thread but could you kindly explain to me why Europe and Asia are separate continents. And why Greenland isn't one?TIA.

Europe being considered a continent is more about culture and politics than geography. It's actually pretty sketchy. But I can tell you that Greenland is a lot smaller than you think. Greenland = 836,330 sq mi Australia = 2,941,300 sq mi

How big is Guam?

 

[YSR]

You are CC, right?

 

[proninja]

I'm a big fan of the guy, but MOP is kind of nuts.

"kind of"?

I'm not getting ivolved in that thread but could you kindly explain to me why Europe and Asia are separate continents. And why Greenland isn't one?TIA.

Europe being considered a continent is more about culture and politics than geography. It's actually pretty sketchy. But I can tell you that Greenland is a lot smaller than you think. Greenland = 836,330 sq mi Australia = 2,941,300 sq mi

What if Australia's just a lot bigger than he thought?

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

To those who use the Neti-Pot squeeze bottle, I get a little skeezed out after a few uses. Do you wash it in the dishwasher after each use? How do you make sure you aren't squirting bacteria up into the nether regions of your cranium?

I don't think I've washed mine once. Yeah, I'm sure of it. I did stop using it frequently, but when I was, I never really saw the need.

 

[RudiStein]

I'm a big fan of the guy, but MOP is kind of nuts.

"kind of"?

I'm not getting ivolved in that thread but could you kindly explain to me why Europe and Asia are separate continents. And why Greenland isn't one?TIA.

Europe being considered a continent is more about culture and politics than geography. It's actually pretty sketchy. But I can tell you that Greenland is a lot smaller than you think. Greenland = 836,330 sq mi Australia = 2,941,300 sq mi

How big is Guam?

200 sq mi or so

 

[bostonfred]

So everyone gets up to leave and I go to pay my tab to the bartender and he says to me: "Hey, nice toast Lionel. Maybe if the happy couple has a kid, you could qoute some versus from "I Believe The Children Are The Future" at the baptism" That ugly bartender with a creepy lazy eye made my night with that comment.

Well done, but I'm not buying it. You sort of had me until the bartender's line.

But he's ugly and has a lazy eye. Those kinds of details don't just invent themselves.

 

[the rover]

Pick my movie of the evening:1. Brooklyn's Finest (never seen)2. 2nd half of Once Upon A Time In The West (on DVD; started watching the other night; haven't seen in 100 years)3. Stand By Me (seen a bunch but not in the last 10 years or so)4. Rocky III ( )

I'm going to watch The Town. Hope that helps.

My FB GB's got to see my letter grades of 7 recent movies (well, Inception too). I watched The Town last night. It got a B.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

So everyone gets up to leave and I go to pay my tab to the bartender and he says to me: "Hey, nice toast Lionel. Maybe if the happy couple has a kid, you could qoute some versus from "I Believe The Children Are The Future" at the baptism" That ugly bartender with a creepy lazy eye made my night with that comment.

Well done, but I'm not buying it. You sort of had me until the bartender's line.

But he's ugly and has a lazy eye. Those kinds of details don't just invent themselves.

Oh I believe the bartender has as lazy eye. However, I sincerely doubt: a) someone would spontaneously recite lyrics to a Lionel Richie song (or even know them) and b) the bartender (who happens to be listening to the entire thing) also picks up on it and make a well-timed comment.Dancing on the Ceiling, I can see.. but Say You, Say Me? How much disbelief are we really expected to suspend here?

 

[Sup_Larry]

We rescued a male cat over Thanksgiving who is, according to future MIL a "convicted murderer", so we keep him in a back bedroom at night. During the day, when the other two cats are sleeping on the bed anyway, we close them up and let him out. He's a clingy attention whore. I was running on the treadmill yesterday morning and sure enough I saw him eyeing me... wanting attention. Should have turned on the camera at that time, but neglected to do so and therefore lost the footage of the cat trying to jump onto the treadmill to rub up on my legs.ACP> the cat shot off the treadmill in a frenzied heap on the floor. That should make you happy. He is fine, though, which likely will not make you happy.

It's so weird that 2 people lmao'd at something that isn't funny.

 

[the rover]

We rescued a male cat over Thanksgiving who is, according to future MIL a "convicted murderer", so we keep him in a back bedroom at night. During the day, when the other two cats are sleeping on the bed anyway, we close them up and let him out. He's a clingy attention whore. I was running on the treadmill yesterday morning and sure enough I saw him eyeing me... wanting attention. Should have turned on the camera at that time, but neglected to do so and therefore lost the footage of the cat trying to jump onto the treadmill to rub up on my legs.ACP> the cat shot off the treadmill in a frenzied heap on the floor. That should make you happy. He is fine, though, which likely will not make you happy.

It's so weird that 2 people lmao'd at something that isn't funny.

 

[bostonfred]

So everyone gets up to leave and I go to pay my tab to the bartender and he says to me: "Hey, nice toast Lionel. Maybe if the happy couple has a kid, you could qoute some versus from "I Believe The Children Are The Future" at the baptism" That ugly bartender with a creepy lazy eye made my night with that comment.

Well done, but I'm not buying it. You sort of had me until the bartender's line.

But he's ugly and has a lazy eye. Those kinds of details don't just invent themselves.

Oh I believe the bartender has as lazy eye. However, I sincerely doubt: a) someone would spontaneously recite lyrics to a Lionel Richie song (or even know them) and b) the bartender (who happens to be listening to the entire thing) also picks up on it and make a well-timed comment.Dancing on the Ceiling, I can see.. but Say You, Say Me? How much disbelief are we really expected to suspend here?

I've said for years that I'm willing to suspend as much belief as necessary for stories that involve poor decisions, chance sexual encounters, or messing with an unmarried pregnant barfly by reciting Lionel Richie lyrics. I've been remarkably consistent on this point. But I think we can at least agree it would have been even better if he could have pulled off Dancing on the Ceiling. That song hits a spot I didn't even know I had.

 

[honky kong]

I have a theory that the stockier the dog, the nastier the fart.

Bulldogs>>>>>>>>>>>Yorkies

Anyone else experience this?

 

[bostonfred]

We rescued a male cat over Thanksgiving who is, according to future MIL a "convicted murderer", so we keep him in a back bedroom at night. During the day, when the other two cats are sleeping on the bed anyway, we close them up and let him out. He's a clingy attention whore. I was running on the treadmill yesterday morning and sure enough I saw him eyeing me... wanting attention. Should have turned on the camera at that time, but neglected to do so and therefore lost the footage of the cat trying to jump onto the treadmill to rub up on my legs.ACP> the cat shot off the treadmill in a frenzied heap on the floor. That should make you happy. He is fine, though, which likely will not make you happy.

It's so weird that 2 people lmao'd at something that isn't funny.

Limp Ditka?

 

[jplvr]

I don't care if 'zooks thought that up ala George Costanza and jerk store as he left the bar, it was still real to me.

 

[proninja]

I still don't understand why people get all up in arms about whether or not crap people post on the internet is real.

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

I still don't understand why people get all up in arms about whether or not crap people post on the internet is real.

Haven't you done business here?

 

[shuke]

I'm a big fan of the guy, but MOP is kind of nuts.

"kind of"?

I'm not getting ivolved in that thread but could you kindly explain to me why Europe and Asia are separate continents. And why Greenland isn't one?TIA.

Greenland is too small. They don't make just any tiny island a continent.

Compared to Australia?

 

[proninja]

I still don't understand why people get all up in arms about whether or not crap people post on the internet is real.

Haven't you done business here?

Good call, that's completely the same thing as a story about toasting to a lionel ritchie song.

 

[shuke]

Met up with a bunch of friends for drinks after work to celebrate the engagment of our friends who had been together for years. He proposed to her last night which was apparently 5 years to the day of their first date. There was about 10 of us there tonight for a few drinks as the newly engaged couple were driving out of state in a couple hours to share the sad happy news with the bride to be's family. (interesting that the bride wasn't drinking she said because she was going to be the one driving tonight, the rest of us are assuming she's pregers and that's why they got engaged)

So after a couple rounds (not to mention I got there early and got a head start) one idiot in the group decides to buy a round of shots for everyone (ok, the idiot is actually me) So we're about to do the shot and then one of my GBs says that someone should make a toast and he nominates me to do it (mostly because he knows that I've been drinking more than anyone else and I'll probably say something inappropriate) So I reached deep down into my soul and came up with the following:

"As we go down life's lonesome's highway (dramatic pause as I sigh)

It seems (slight dramatic pause) the hardest thing to do, (now looking directly at engaged couple)

Is to find (pause, fake like I'm choking up) a friend, or 2.

That helping hand (pause, close my eyes and bite my quivering lower lip)

Someone who understands.

When you feel (slight pause) you've lost your way,

You've got someone there to say: (very dramatic pause)

I'll show you. (now tapping my fist on my heart and pointing to the happy couple)

Here's to the happy couple, Cheers."

Yep, they thought I'd be inappropriate, but instead I quoted Lionel Richie's "Say You... Say Me" and performed it like a 5 time Oscar winner!!!! The bride-to-be had tears in her eyes as she hugged me and said how beautiful that was. A couple GB's commented on how "deep" that was. The groom-to-be hugged me and said "sorry dude, that must have tough for you, I know your divorce was rough". I am completely and utterly shuked that no one knew what I had just done. I kinda feel like I should get some credit for my performance, but they all think it was just a heart felt toast. WTF!!!

So everyone gets up to leave and I go to pay my tab to the bartender and he says to me: "Hey, nice toast Lionel. Maybe if the happy couple has a kid, you could qoute some versus from "I Believe The Children Are The Future" at the baptism" That ugly bartender with a creepy lazy eye made my night with that comment.

Awesome

 

[Frostillicus]

Blake Lively is a much better actress than I expected.

Good boobs, too.

 

[Limp Ditka]

It's so weird that 2 people lmao'd at something that isn't funny.

Limp Ditka?

:ahem:

Waiting for Hucksy to start talking about himself in the third person.

I'm waiting for the rest us to start talking about him in the past tense.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Car hole?

Thank you, glad I'm not the only one who was

 

[Mr.Pack]

Car hole?

What do you call it?

I don't even know what "it" is.

The room attached to your house where you keep your car, and/or operate a counterfeit jeans ring.

A garage?

 

[Mr.Pack]

ooh, la di da Mr. Frenchman.

walked right into that one.

"that one" = not being a backwoods hillbilly? Not really sure this thread is the best fit for me. I'm looking for like-minded people who don't see the genius of Daniel Tosh and don't say "car hole."

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I would have gone with Hello.

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

I still don't understand why people get all up in arms about whether or not crap people post on the internet is real.

Haven't you done business here?

Good call, that's completely the same thing as a story about toasting to a lionel ritchie song.

You took it seriously.

 

[Mr.Pack]

I've had like 6 hours of sleep in the last 48. For some reason I'm not tired.

My old lady picked me up from the airport and took me to a bar for a cocktail or 4. Then we got home and parked in the car hole. I opened some mail and laid on the couch. She brought me a Jack and Coke. Niiice.

Should this be in the drunk thread?

Yeah, you can drink right through the need to sleep.Also, I'm loaded.

I plan on it. I'll have sex with her tomorrow night. Tonight? I'ma get my drink on.

Should "I'ma" be in the "Phrases that should be retired" thread?

YESSorry

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I still don't understand why people get all up in arms about whether or not crap people post on the internet is real.

Haven't you done business here?

Good call, that's completely the same thing as a story about toasting to a lionel ritchie song.

You took it seriously.

He took it, alright.mini-zing

 

[bostonfred]

It's so weird that 2 people lmao'd at something that isn't funny.

Limp Ditka?

:ahem:

I tend to believe everything I read on the internet but are you really telling me you wouldn't create a username like Sup_Larry, or that you wouldn't post something like that?

 

[Limp Ditka]

It's so weird that 2 people lmao'd at something that isn't funny.

Limp Ditka?

:ahem:

I tend to believe everything I read on the internet but are you really telling me you wouldn't create a username like Sup_Larry, or that you wouldn't post something like that?

I'm telling you that I can be funny. Your reply implied that I am not.

 

[Tiger Fan]

I just realized I would've won my fantasy leagues if I would've drafted Vick in the 12th rounds.

hmm

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Every league I was in was won by the Vick owner.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Every league I was in was won by the Vick owner.

I beat the vick owner in the CG.:cutler:ETA: and my 2nd round pick was Deangelo Williams :skillz:

 

[Sarnoff]

I'm a big fan of the guy, but MOP is kind of nuts.

"kind of"?

I'm not getting ivolved in that thread but could you kindly explain to me why Europe and Asia are separate continents. And why Greenland isn't one?TIA.

Greenland is too small. They don't make just any tiny island a continent.

Compared to Australia?

Australia is more than 3.5 times larger than Greenland.

 

[proninja]

I still don't understand why people get all up in arms about whether or not crap people post on the internet is real.

Haven't you done business here?

Good call, that's completely the same thing as a story about toasting to a lionel ritchie song.

You took it seriously.

Totally

 

[proninja]

Every league I was in was won by the Vick owner.

I beat the vick owner in the CG.:cutler:ETA: and my 2nd round pick was Deangelo Williams :skillz:

Me too. Pretty sure it was all Jermichael Finley though.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Vick owner in my league took second.

 

[bentley]

I've had some beer tonight. Goodness.

We find out on Monday exactly how many minibentleys are cooking in Angrywife's oven.

 

[Limp Ditka]

3 leagues.

2 had Vick owners not make it out of week 14, the other didn't make the playoffs.

 

[Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll]

Where can I find a cheatsheet on doing FF for the playoffs? Looks pretty basic...you can pick only 2 players from each team, standard scoring for the most part, but with 2QBs. Team loses, you lose those players. Need to send my entries in later. Thanks.

 

[General Malaise]

Bruce ZoVVned apparently ran off with some dough too, in a separate incident.

Is this true? I've heard this a lot. Takes some serious balls to pull this.

Who is Bruce Zowned? Or who was he? I know uber was linked to him somehow, but was he memorable for anything like a Shuke or Larry_Boy or MOP?

 

[General Malaise]

Going to get an echocardiogram. I wonder how many pounds of hair they're going to have to shave off my chest. I haven't done a good trim in a while.

GL, GB. Hope all is well with you.

 

[General Malaise]

Anyone here done an Alaskan cruise or is that more for the folks that wear knee-high dress socks with Bermuda shorts or white patent leather shoes?

I did one in 2003. I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't do it again. I was sorta handcuffed though as I had a 6mo baby and couldn't really pan for gold or go on extreme hikes. Gorgeous territory, really cool to see huge glaciers calve (calf?) into the ocean. Big splashes and loud cracks and bangs. Also got to take a whale excursion. That was incredible. Got to see bears on the shore doing beary type things. Eagles all over the place. I'm not a big cruise guy, though. Rooms are small, unless you pay up for a window. See the same people over and over. You'll see WAY WAY WAY too many jewelry shops (including on the boat). It can be really cold walking around outside in Alaska, even in the summer. I never felt the urge to swim or goof off outside. I'd kinda like to do that as its my idea of relaxing. I'm sure I could add more if you like. It really is gorgeous terrain and if you have time for excursions, to them to the max.

 

[General Malaise]

Just realized that I DID win my fantasy league and won't get paid for a few weeks because the commish is a slacker.

I paid all my guys out before New Years. In this day and age, why even give people a reason to question your veracity? A few weeks is a red flag. IMO. Zippy didn't pay out for months. He wasn't very nice about it either.

 

[General Malaise]

hey stu - update on the guy in your sig. allegedly he ripped people off in some kind of fantasy football league thing for thousands.

Link?

I think that thread got killed. There was some name, address, work address, phone number, etc. type stuff going on. Talk of $15-20k disappearing.

His information is now On facebook.

Kristen Layton> hey

 

[General Malaise]

Did Chris Bruce commit the biggest smooing this board has ever seen?

I was gonna bring this up, but figured I'd let a dead horse drink the water...or something like that.

Smoo at least was up front with everyone and said he'd make it right in time. And he did. He was a grown up about it. Smooing should apply to guys that are late paying, but come correct eventually.This recent rash of default is met by guys who are feckless and run away from their obligation. Some are outright rude when questioned, or condescending. That's why we need to bring back GM Frat.