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GM's thread about nothing (35 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
John Bender
Footballguy
Can't wait man. Was watching some of ESPN Classic this weekend - they had an Aussie Open Marathon. Caught Moya vs. Sampras from 97'. Hopefully Nadal's struggles throughout the winter are over with.
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-fish-
Footballguy
welcome. you're not wearing sneaker shoes, are you?I hear this is a good thread to hang out in and talk about stuff.ullsupchair:Icebreaker - I #### my pants the other day. While driving, sort of. I #### in my pants while driving then when I pulled over to the side of the road it got worse. Then when I got back in my car, I #### my shirt as well. Funny story someone will have to remind me to tell sometime later in this thread. Goodnight.
jplvr
Footballguy
I'm pretty sure I could be diagnosed with IBS, but besides the random shart, I have never **** my pants. I don't understand how this is possible. I'd drop my pants in a parking lot if it actually came to that, not that I've ever had to. To me, getting butt naked in public and leaving something for someone else to clean up is far better than having such a mess in my pants.
John Bender
Footballguy
Don't even know what those are. I have a pair of Nike Skeets though. No idea why they are called Skeets. Seems weird naming a shoe after semen.Nike Skeetswelcome. you're not wearing sneaker shoes, are you?I hear this is a good thread to hang out in and talk about stuff.
Icebreaker - I #### my pants the other day. While driving, sort of. I #### in my pants while driving then when I pulled over to the side of the road it got worse. Then when I got back in my car, I #### my shirt as well. Funny story someone will have to remind me to tell sometime later in this thread. Goodnight.
jplvr
Footballguy
My bladder control is rock solid. I have started a 4 hour drive having to pee badly within 30 minutes of the start of the drive and made it to my destination without a stop.
If #2 is the call, I might have to make a stop in minutes, but I've always managed to get that done.
How does someone #### their pants? I don't get it.
If #2 is the call, I might have to make a stop in minutes, but I've always managed to get that done.
How does someone #### their pants? I don't get it.
-fish-
Footballguy
Better not let Otis know about those. He's sensitive about comfortable shoes.Don't even know what those are. I have a pair of Nike Skeets though. No idea why they are called Skeets. Seems weird naming a shoe after semen.Nike Skeetswelcome. you're not wearing sneaker shoes, are you?I hear this is a good thread to hang out in and talk about stuff.
Icebreaker - I #### my pants the other day. While driving, sort of. I #### in my pants while driving then when I pulled over to the side of the road it got worse. Then when I got back in my car, I #### my shirt as well. Funny story someone will have to remind me to tell sometime later in this thread. Goodnight.
John Bender
Footballguy
Well since I'm up. I was travelling in Maine the other day (don't ask, not interesting) and got the urge to ####. Terrible urge. I plugged in a gas station to my GPS. Nothing for 11 miles. I sharted and immediately pulled over and ran behind some dudes shed, squatted and started ####ting. Problem was that I didn't squat down enough and some of the #### just fell right into my pants (I believe this similar event happened to Artie Lange on heroin, or is at least in his comedy routine). Basically decided to just take my pants off and figure out my next move. didn't want my ####ty ### sitting on my seat so I took off the white t shirt I had on under my coat and put my legs through the arm holes of it and sort of tied it like a towel around my waist. Kinda didn't figure that the neck hole would directly be lined up with my ### anyway and ended up ####ting the shirt and the seat of my car. Residual ####, not new ####. But I still considered it "####ting my shirt". that's all I got...guess it's not that funny after all.
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facook
Footballguy
Nah, don't worry about it krista4. I threw my hand up before reading your plan w/ the others. I'm more of a lurker than a contributor anyway.Hmmm, I think I blew it on the cigar contest. I'll search your posts and find something else you would like, or if I can will pick up some more if we make it to Granada in time tomorrow. Or if SLBob doesn't smoke 'em, I'll divide three ways.
-fish-
Footballguy
I thought we were done with the crap stories, but I may as well throw this one out there. I used to tend bar and I always had this crummy Sunday call-in shift, where if the place was busy I was supposed to call in at a particular time to see if they needed me. They never did. One weekend I went on a surf trip to Mexico, couldn't find anyone to cover the call-in, and blew it off. Turned out there was some convention in town and they got slammed.I got back from 4 days in Mexico, drinking beer and eating the local cuisine. Get called in to the bar, where they sat me down and explained to me at length that I was being fired. They also had an issue with someone skimming the till, and wanted to know what I knew, if anything. I pretty much knew who was doing it, but wasn't sure, but I did know how they were doing it and I liked the owner so we were having a beer and discussing how they could fix the hole in their system...as soon as the beer hit my gut, all of a sudden the 4 days in Mexico caught up to me. I was still talking to the owner, thinking it would pass but I started sweating and clinching my butt cheeks together. I knew it was going to be close whether I made it to the bathroom or not. I darted through the kitchen to the bathroom and almost got my pants down far enough to avoid the firehose spray that came out, but not quite. I had liquid crap all over the back of my boxers and the waist of my pants had pretty much painted the toilet and part of the bathroom wall in my effort to get to a seated position. Had to abandon my underwear in the bathroom and wear a spare pair of shorts that I found in the changing room, leaving my stained pants in the employee changing room. Collected my check and left.
-fish-
Footballguy
No, it's pretty damned funny.
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
YSR
Footballguy
I looked into it a couple of years ago and almost pulled the trigger, but my friend had a conflict.
Would LOVE to do this someday.
Thorn
Footballguy
Cornhole?
YSR
Footballguy
You would've wanted in on that?
YSR
Footballguy
I was actually talking about GM's individual frames. How do you bowl two strikes in a row and follow them with a gutterball?Did you pay attention to the individual frames? Total rollercoaster.He bowled a 168. Pretty sure his average is around 79, so he must be wasted.Happy Birthday GM! Must be having fun IRL or something.
COOP!
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Poor kids. Through 7 frames they combined for 26 gutterballs. 
Tiny Dancer
Footballguy
That's the way it should be. Bumper bowling has destroyed kids bowling in my opinion.
Poor kids. Through 7 frames they combined for 26 gutterballs. 
ShaqAttaq
Morally Ambiguous
random sharts can be much more significant than originally feared
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
I know you were and I don't care. COOP!I was actually talking about GM's individual frames. How do you bowl two strikes in a row and follow them with a gutterball?Did you pay attention to the individual frames? Total rollercoaster.He bowled a 168. Pretty sure his average is around 79, so he must be wasted.Happy Birthday GM! Must be having fun IRL or something.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
krista4 said:
You don't have to do that but I do have two humidors.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
And destroying the once illustrious sport of kids bowling.
Tiny Dancer
Footballguy
I feel very strongly about this.And destroying the once illustrious sport of kids bowling.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
And destroying the once illustrious sport of kids bowling.
Gutterballs build character.
YSR
Footballguy
Might as well give the kid a participation trophy while you're at it.And destroying the once illustrious sport of kids bowling.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
Exactly. "Kyler? You want me to carry the ball down the lane and knock over all the pins for you? Would that make this the best play-date ever?"Might as well give the kid a participation trophy while you're at it.And destroying the once illustrious sport of kids bowling.
Uruk-Hai
Footballguy
Happy belated, GM. Many happy hangovers to come, I hope!
Just had my new dining room delivered. I could go back to work as I'm only about a mile away, but I told my fellow workers that I didn't know what time the furniture was coming (true) and I've also had a Bloody Mary or three (also true). Here's the set I got:
http://www.roomstore.com/shared/pages/prod...ldItemId=220466
I doubt I'm notebook-worthy, but I live alone after it took two marriages to figure I'm not good at it and bought this house a few months ago. I've never furnished a home on my own with new stuff, so I'm actually kinda stoked doing this. I've got the master BR, living room, & now the dining room done. Next up is the 2nd BR once my funds recover. Then the office. THEN the 1500 sq ft basement, which I'm gonna man-cave the hell out of. I've already got a bar there, a pellet stove, and a dart board (guy I bought the house from left them). I've also go the plumbing roughed in for a bath. Frame it up, get the fixtures in, drop a ceiling, get a stove for cooking beer, and some TVs (got DTV cables dropped for 5)........I may never leave the house again.
Just had my new dining room delivered. I could go back to work as I'm only about a mile away, but I told my fellow workers that I didn't know what time the furniture was coming (true) and I've also had a Bloody Mary or three (also true). Here's the set I got:
http://www.roomstore.com/shared/pages/prod...ldItemId=220466
I doubt I'm notebook-worthy, but I live alone after it took two marriages to figure I'm not good at it and bought this house a few months ago. I've never furnished a home on my own with new stuff, so I'm actually kinda stoked doing this. I've got the master BR, living room, & now the dining room done. Next up is the 2nd BR once my funds recover. Then the office. THEN the 1500 sq ft basement, which I'm gonna man-cave the hell out of. I've already got a bar there, a pellet stove, and a dart board (guy I bought the house from left them). I've also go the plumbing roughed in for a bath. Frame it up, get the fixtures in, drop a ceiling, get a stove for cooking beer, and some TVs (got DTV cables dropped for 5)........I may never leave the house again.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
And vaccinations. Oh wah, I got polio. You should have gotten me shot. Where does it end?Might as well give the kid a participation trophy while you're at it.And destroying the once illustrious sport of kids bowling.
they still have that mini bowling in New England? That's probably good for kids.
bumper bowling is an abomination.
bumper bowling is an abomination.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I just got back from the office and I'm at home feeling like hell, still after 3 days. I thought it would be smart to stop at St. Louis Bread and get some chicken noodle soup which I did. I just opened the lid and the ganked me again with mostly broth. I wasn't about to drive back up there so I called and they are sending me a gift card in the mail.
FWIW
FWIW
Dr. Watson
the unknown soldier
I make a killer chicken noodle soup, but you may have to pick out a few bones. PM for details.
jplvr
Footballguy
Every time I get sick, the first thing I do is make a chicken soup. So simple.
RudiStein
*Not really a bail bondsman
Should have stopped at St. Louis Soup instead.
Dr. Watson
the unknown soldier
Make it for the kids all the time.ETA: Don't PM for details...that was a joke. Easiest soup to make...I'll put how I make it and let jeep "fine tune" it.
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St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I've made it in the past, I don't feel like doing it now. I appreciate the offer.
Mrs. SLB offered to make me some last night and I said no. I'm such an idiot.
Sorry, Bread Co. Old habits die hard. However, if there were a St. Louis Soup, I would be one of their best customers.
Early_10
footballgoddess
This brings back bad memories. My grandmother was crazy.
Dr. Watson
the unknown soldier
like a fox?
Early_10
footballgoddess
I'll admit I've never been to the gym other than to sign my kid up but....dismount? What kind of gym is this?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Oh yeah, the manager, who was very polite and after offering a full refund, told me there was a change in the recipe. Apparently instead of the big fat homemade noodles, they have whole flat skinny noodles. I politely told him that there were a couple of noodles about the size of my pinkie nail and a couple of pieces of chicken smaller than a dime. Thankfully I also got a bowl of their chicken & wild rice for later that was pretty good. I don't know.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
What is the appropriate amount of time to wait before dismounting?
kevzilla
Footballguy
HFSAnd vaccinations. Oh wah, I got polio. You should have gotten me shot. Where does it end?Might as well give the kid a participation trophy while you're at it.And destroying the once illustrious sport of kids bowling.
Early_10
footballgoddess
Like a Borden. Lizzy Borden. But with matches.
Early_10
footballgoddess
flaccidity
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