GM's thread about nothing (37 Viewers)

[desert rose]

Anybody else spend their morning in a full flop-sweat at a job interview? Anyone? Bueller?Ima go get drunk now.

I spent my morning in grey sweat pants, a tee and slippers. Close enough. I have a four day weekend. I may go to Home Depot for a few garden tools, tomato plants, herbs, flowers, fertilizer and plant a garden.

 

[Exit 1]

Anybody else spend their morning in a full flop-sweat at a job interview? Anyone? Bueller?Ima go get drunk now.

I spent my morning in grey sweat pants, a tee and slippers. Close enough. I have a four day weekend. I may go to Home Depot for a few garden tools, tomato plants, herbs, flowers, fertilizer and plant a garden.

HOT

 

[kevzilla]

Anybody else spend their morning in a full flop-sweat at a job interview? Anyone? Bueller?Ima go get drunk now.

I spent my morning in grey sweat pants, a tee and slippers. Close enough. I have a four day weekend. I may go to Home Depot for a few garden tools, tomato plants, herbs, flowers, fertilizer and plant a garden.

HOT

Please swap out the sweatpants for booty shorts. TIA.

 

[desert rose]

Good luck, Kevzilla. Hope you get the job, if it's the one you want.

 

[YSR]

Not really sure what the message is, but I've just watched

four or five times.Every second, every word, every frame, every American flag on the truck, every monkey riding a dog that's peeing, and every goat in this video is amazing.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Not really sure what the message is, but I've just watched

Holy ####.

 

[Lieutenant Dan]

Not really sure what the message is, but I've just watched

dog-riding monkeys >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> everything else ever done or made in the past, present or future.

 

[Exit 1]

I'm going to see the Axis of Awesome tonight...

I'm hoping it's awesome.

 

[bostonfred]

for rudi

 

[bentley]

Im hammered right now, and did some things i'm gonna regret. Life is good.

Soooooooo..............where's the story?

 

[shuke]

Not really sure what the message is, but I've just watched

Wow.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Not really sure what the message is, but I've just watched

Might be the most "American" thing I've ever seen

 

[Disco Stu]

Not really sure what the message is, but I've just watched

 

[Mr.Pack]

Congrats, GM!

Awesome news

 

[Mr.Pack]

Congrats to you too Charv.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Catching up...just found out Pickels got married, now he's having a kid??? and GM too??? This place passed me by long ago...which isn't a bad thing since I probably won't have the time for it, shortly.

Speaking of which...what kind of hourly wage would it take for you to quit a good job and go back to one you weren't "so enthused" about?

Wow, totally missed both of these too.Congrats Pickles on both accounts!

 

[Gadzooks]

Im hammered right now, and did some things i'm gonna regret. Life is good.

Soooooooo..............where's the story?

So on last Wednesday I took the morning off and hung out with my son before going into work around noon. Our breakfast consisted of bacon and Fruity Pebbles (which explains the rainbow shart I had later) I got into work lacking any motivation, inspiration or desire to be there. I knew I was going to a Chamber of Commerce networking event at 5pm and the thought of drinking recklessly there made me feel warm and fuzzy. Around 4pm a gb I work with thought it would be a fantastic idea if we left work early and grabbed a drink or 2 before the Chamber thing. I told him it wasn't a fantastic idea, I told him it was a BRILLIANT idea. So we went and had a couple drinks and then went to the Chamber event. The appetizers they served were awful, so I continued to utilize alcohol to fuel my body. A co-worker came up to me and said "here take this, I saw it and thought of you". It was coupons for Arby's. At the time, that didn't seem odd to me at all. So I shuffled over to the bar for another drink and a gorgeous young blonde came up next to me to get a drink. She said she worked in Real Estate and I told her I was Zoo-Keeper. She laughed and said "no you're not, I know that you work at the bank, did you think you'd get lucky by pretending to be a zoo-keeper?" I said "Oh come on, if I wanted to get lucky I'd just show you my Arby's coupons." She laughed and said that was the strangest thing she's ever heard, so I pulled out a "buy one get one free Roast Beef sandwich" coupon and told her no woman can resist a zoo-keeper with Arby's coupons. She laughed again (while falling in love with me... I think) then some older woman came over and grabbed her by the arm telling her she had to go with her to be introduced to somebody. Somewhat heartbroken, I headed to the bathroom. As I swayed at the urinal, I realized my dinner had now consisted of about 7 Jack and Cokes and that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. While peeing everywhere but inside the urinal, I then released some trumpet-like gas, but on the last note a little something extra slipped out. I quickly got into a stall and removed my boxers which had a bacon/Fruity Pebbles combination shart inside them. I'm pretty sure I left the boxers on the handle of the toilet seat. As I exited the stall, 3 older gentlemen entered the bathroom and 1 of them went right into the stall. I quickly left bathroom and since I was feeling victorious, I went and got another drink.I got my drink as they were announcing the winners of the door prizes. When I heard my name called, I demanded high fives from everyone around me and then went up and got my prize basket. I got some strange looks when I asked if there was any ultra sound gel in the basket. I looked in the basket and saw that it contained scented hand lotions and candles. Apparently I told the older woman who gave me the basket that "now I can masturbate by candle light and smell great too." (I don't remember that part, but I was told this the next day) The event was winding down and I missed last call, so I gave the bartender the basket in exchange for one more drink. I walked out to the parking with a few co-workers and someone asked if I was ok to drive. I told them I probably shouldn't drive, and that I would walk home and I'd be safe if any wild animals attacked me because I was a zoo-keeper. A female co-worker who works in another department in another office said she'd give me a ride home since it was on her way. Once we got to my driveway, we began doing inappropriate things in the car. I then invited her inside for a freeze pop but she declined and said something about her boyfriend not approving of her behavior. So I then thanked her for the ride and got out of the car. I tripped walking up the stairs to my front door and fell into a bush. I got up and saw that my neighbor across the street was standing in his driveway watching me. He didn't acknowledge my wave and instead he just shook his head and went inside his house. I went inside my house and realized that not having my car would probably effect my ability to get to work the next day. I called my brother early the next morning and told him I'd give him some Arby's coupons if he brought me to get my car. He happily accepted my offer.I guess in the big picture, it wasn't too bad. The next day I got a few calls from people asking how bad my hangover was. I'm thinking I probably won't drink so much at the next Chamber function.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Gadzooks is now on my list of people I need to hang out with.

 

[Incogneto]

Gadzooks is now on my EVERYONE's list of people I need to hang out with.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Gadzooks is now on my EVERYONE's list of people I need to hang out with.

 

[heckmanm]

Some guy doing an Earth Day interview on TV: "I've read that 80% of all pollution in the oceans starts on land." in an incredulous tone.

My thought: WTF else would it come from? Fish aren't throwing away a lot of trash. I'm surprised it's not higher.

What am I missing?

Link

Thought of that, but still, 20%?I wonder if they consider trash dumped from ships as not "starting on land".

 

[heckmanm]

Not really sure what the message is, but I've just watched

 

[YSR]

Is there any worse DIY project than scoring and stripping wallpaper spending a couple of hours sanding sheetrock mud from a bathroom ceiling?

Brutal.

 

[Otis]

big Gadzooks fan.

Congrats Pickles if this all is now official -- the marriage and the kid, that is. Whens' the kid due?

Congrats also GM -- another in the oven? You're a regular babymaking machine.

 

[Mrs. BSR]

GM, BSR and I should be in your movie.

 

[bentley]

Im hammered right now, and did some things i'm gonna regret. Life is good.

Soooooooo..............where's the story?

So on last Wednesday I took the morning off and hung out with my son before going into work around noon. Our breakfast consisted of bacon and Fruity Pebbles (which explains the rainbow shart I had later) I got into work lacking any motivation, inspiration or desire to be there. I knew I was going to a Chamber of Commerce networking event at 5pm and the thought of drinking recklessly there made me feel warm and fuzzy. Around 4pm a gb I work with thought it would be a fantastic idea if we left work early and grabbed a drink or 2 before the Chamber thing. I told him it wasn't a fantastic idea, I told him it was a BRILLIANT idea. So we went and had a couple drinks and then went to the Chamber event. The appetizers they served were awful, so I continued to utilize alcohol to fuel my body. A co-worker came up to me and said "here take this, I saw it and thought of you". It was coupons for Arby's. At the time, that didn't seem odd to me at all. So I shuffled over to the bar for another drink and a gorgeous young blonde came up next to me to get a drink. She said she worked in Real Estate and I told her I was Zoo-Keeper. She laughed and said "no you're not, I know that you work at the bank, did you think you'd get lucky by pretending to be a zoo-keeper?" I said "Oh come on, if I wanted to get lucky I'd just show you my Arby's coupons." She laughed and said that was the strangest thing she's ever heard, so I pulled out a "buy one get one free Roast Beef sandwich" coupon and told her no woman can resist a zoo-keeper with Arby's coupons. She laughed again (while falling in love with me... I think) then some older woman came over and grabbed her by the arm telling her she had to go with her to be introduced to somebody. Somewhat heartbroken, I headed to the bathroom. As I swayed at the urinal, I realized my dinner had now consisted of about 7 Jack and Cokes and that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. While peeing everywhere but inside the urinal, I then released some trumpet-like gas, but on the last note a little something extra slipped out. I quickly got into a stall and removed my boxers which had a bacon/Fruity Pebbles combination shart inside them. I'm pretty sure I left the boxers on the handle of the toilet seat. As I exited the stall, 3 older gentlemen entered the bathroom and 1 of them went right into the stall. I quickly left bathroom and since I was feeling victorious, I went and got another drink.I got my drink as they were announcing the winners of the door prizes. When I heard my name called, I demanded high fives from everyone around me and then went up and got my prize basket. I got some strange looks when I asked if there was any ultra sound gel in the basket. I looked in the basket and saw that it contained scented hand lotions and candles. Apparently I told the older woman who gave me the basket that "now I can masturbate by candle light and smell great too." (I don't remember that part, but I was told this the next day) The event was winding down and I missed last call, so I gave the bartender the basket in exchange for one more drink. I walked out to the parking with a few co-workers and someone asked if I was ok to drive. I told them I probably shouldn't drive, and that I would walk home and I'd be safe if any wild animals attacked me because I was a zoo-keeper. A female co-worker who works in another department in another office said she'd give me a ride home since it was on her way. Once we got to my driveway, we began doing inappropriate things in the car. I then invited her inside for a freeze pop but she declined and said something about her boyfriend not approving of her behavior. So I then thanked her for the ride and got out of the car. I tripped walking up the stairs to my front door and fell into a bush. I got up and saw that my neighbor across the street was standing in his driveway watching me. He didn't acknowledge my wave and instead he just shook his head and went inside his house. I went inside my house and realized that not having my car would probably effect my ability to get to work the next day. I called my brother early the next morning and told him I'd give him some Arby's coupons if he brought me to get my car. He happily accepted my offer.I guess in the big picture, it wasn't too bad. The next day I got a few calls from people asking how bad my hangover was. I'm thinking I probably won't drink so much at the next Chamber function.

That's beautiful, particularly since I get stuck going to a couple of Chamber of Commerce events every month that are usually dreadful. Clearly I'm not trying hard enough.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Dibs on the role of the 34-year-old lush who is just there for the wine.

Dibs on the role of the 48yr old perv who's just their to take advantage of the 34yr old lush behind his wife's back.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Im hammered right now, and did some things i'm gonna regret. Life is good.

Soooooooo..............where's the story?

So on last Wednesday I took the morning off and hung out with my son before going into work around noon. Our breakfast consisted of bacon and Fruity Pebbles (which explains the rainbow shart I had later) I got into work lacking any motivation, inspiration or desire to be there. I knew I was going to a Chamber of Commerce networking event at 5pm and the thought of drinking recklessly there made me feel warm and fuzzy. Around 4pm a gb I work with thought it would be a fantastic idea if we left work early and grabbed a drink or 2 before the Chamber thing. I told him it wasn't a fantastic idea, I told him it was a BRILLIANT idea. So we went and had a couple drinks and then went to the Chamber event. The appetizers they served were awful, so I continued to utilize alcohol to fuel my body. A co-worker came up to me and said "here take this, I saw it and thought of you". It was coupons for Arby's. At the time, that didn't seem odd to me at all. So I shuffled over to the bar for another drink and a gorgeous young blonde came up next to me to get a drink. She said she worked in Real Estate and I told her I was Zoo-Keeper. She laughed and said "no you're not, I know that you work at the bank, did you think you'd get lucky by pretending to be a zoo-keeper?" I said "Oh come on, if I wanted to get lucky I'd just show you my Arby's coupons." She laughed and said that was the strangest thing she's ever heard, so I pulled out a "buy one get one free Roast Beef sandwich" coupon and told her no woman can resist a zoo-keeper with Arby's coupons. She laughed again (while falling in love with me... I think) then some older woman came over and grabbed her by the arm telling her she had to go with her to be introduced to somebody. Somewhat heartbroken, I headed to the bathroom. As I swayed at the urinal, I realized my dinner had now consisted of about 7 Jack and Cokes and that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. While peeing everywhere but inside the urinal, I then released some trumpet-like gas, but on the last note a little something extra slipped out. I quickly got into a stall and removed my boxers which had a bacon/Fruity Pebbles combination shart inside them. I'm pretty sure I left the boxers on the handle of the toilet seat. As I exited the stall, 3 older gentlemen entered the bathroom and 1 of them went right into the stall. I quickly left bathroom and since I was feeling victorious, I went and got another drink.I got my drink as they were announcing the winners of the door prizes. When I heard my name called, I demanded high fives from everyone around me and then went up and got my prize basket. I got some strange looks when I asked if there was any ultra sound gel in the basket. I looked in the basket and saw that it contained scented hand lotions and candles. Apparently I told the older woman who gave me the basket that "now I can masturbate by candle light and smell great too." (I don't remember that part, but I was told this the next day) The event was winding down and I missed last call, so I gave the bartender the basket in exchange for one more drink. I walked out to the parking with a few co-workers and someone asked if I was ok to drive. I told them I probably shouldn't drive, and that I would walk home and I'd be safe if any wild animals attacked me because I was a zoo-keeper. A female co-worker who works in another department in another office said she'd give me a ride home since it was on her way. Once we got to my driveway, we began doing inappropriate things in the car. I then invited her inside for a freeze pop but she declined and said something about her boyfriend not approving of her behavior. So I then thanked her for the ride and got out of the car. I tripped walking up the stairs to my front door and fell into a bush. I got up and saw that my neighbor across the street was standing in his driveway watching me. He didn't acknowledge my wave and instead he just shook his head and went inside his house. I went inside my house and realized that not having my car would probably effect my ability to get to work the next day. I called my brother early the next morning and told him I'd give him some Arby's coupons if he brought me to get my car. He happily accepted my offer.I guess in the big picture, it wasn't too bad. The next day I got a few calls from people asking how bad my hangover was. I'm thinking I probably won't drink so much at the next Chamber function.

That's beautiful, particularly since I get stuck going to a couple of Chamber of Commerce events every month that are usually dreadful. Clearly I'm not trying hard enough.

BE BETTER!!!

 

[KGB]

Im hammered right now, and did some things i'm gonna regret. Life is good.

Soooooooo..............where's the story?

So on last Wednesday I took the morning off and hung out with my son before going into work around noon. Our breakfast consisted of bacon and Fruity Pebbles (which explains the rainbow shart I had later) I got into work lacking any motivation, inspiration or desire to be there. I knew I was going to a Chamber of Commerce networking event at 5pm and the thought of drinking recklessly there made me feel warm and fuzzy. Around 4pm a gb I work with thought it would be a fantastic idea if we left work early and grabbed a drink or 2 before the Chamber thing. I told him it wasn't a fantastic idea, I told him it was a BRILLIANT idea. So we went and had a couple drinks and then went to the Chamber event. The appetizers they served were awful, so I continued to utilize alcohol to fuel my body. A co-worker came up to me and said "here take this, I saw it and thought of you". It was coupons for Arby's. At the time, that didn't seem odd to me at all. So I shuffled over to the bar for another drink and a gorgeous young blonde came up next to me to get a drink. She said she worked in Real Estate and I told her I was Zoo-Keeper. She laughed and said "no you're not, I know that you work at the bank, did you think you'd get lucky by pretending to be a zoo-keeper?" I said "Oh come on, if I wanted to get lucky I'd just show you my Arby's coupons." She laughed and said that was the strangest thing she's ever heard, so I pulled out a "buy one get one free Roast Beef sandwich" coupon and told her no woman can resist a zoo-keeper with Arby's coupons. She laughed again (while falling in love with me... I think) then some older woman came over and grabbed her by the arm telling her she had to go with her to be introduced to somebody. Somewhat heartbroken, I headed to the bathroom. As I swayed at the urinal, I realized my dinner had now consisted of about 7 Jack and Cokes and that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. While peeing everywhere but inside the urinal, I then released some trumpet-like gas, but on the last note a little something extra slipped out. I quickly got into a stall and removed my boxers which had a bacon/Fruity Pebbles combination shart inside them. I'm pretty sure I left the boxers on the handle of the toilet seat. As I exited the stall, 3 older gentlemen entered the bathroom and 1 of them went right into the stall. I quickly left bathroom and since I was feeling victorious, I went and got another drink.I got my drink as they were announcing the winners of the door prizes. When I heard my name called, I demanded high fives from everyone around me and then went up and got my prize basket. I got some strange looks when I asked if there was any ultra sound gel in the basket. I looked in the basket and saw that it contained scented hand lotions and candles. Apparently I told the older woman who gave me the basket that "now I can masturbate by candle light and smell great too." (I don't remember that part, but I was told this the next day) The event was winding down and I missed last call, so I gave the bartender the basket in exchange for one more drink. I walked out to the parking with a few co-workers and someone asked if I was ok to drive. I told them I probably shouldn't drive, and that I would walk home and I'd be safe if any wild animals attacked me because I was a zoo-keeper. A female co-worker who works in another department in another office said she'd give me a ride home since it was on her way. Once we got to my driveway, we began doing inappropriate things in the car. I then invited her inside for a freeze pop but she declined and said something about her boyfriend not approving of her behavior. So I then thanked her for the ride and got out of the car. I tripped walking up the stairs to my front door and fell into a bush. I got up and saw that my neighbor across the street was standing in his driveway watching me. He didn't acknowledge my wave and instead he just shook his head and went inside his house. I went inside my house and realized that not having my car would probably effect my ability to get to work the next day. I called my brother early the next morning and told him I'd give him some Arby's coupons if he brought me to get my car. He happily accepted my offer.I guess in the big picture, it wasn't too bad. The next day I got a few calls from people asking how bad my hangover was. I'm thinking I probably won't drink so much at the next Chamber function.

 

[Thread Killer]

I love you Gadzooks. Ever since you ran screaming like a woman from that dog.

 

[Frostillicus]

I don't know that I've ever been hated before:

I have a gun, but not really for protection. I mainly use it to change the channel on the tv, open my beer, and turn off the lamp.

I hate you in the basketball threads, i mean REALLY hate you, but this was a great post Homer.

But coming from this guy, I don't mind.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

That's a pretty epic story. Awesome job gadzooks.

 

[bostonfred]

That's beautiful, particularly since I get stuck going to a couple of Chamber of Commerce events every month that are usually dreadful. Clearly I'm not trying hard enough.

Do you write CoC on every official document so people have to pronounce it in their heads?

 

[facook]

I wanna be like Gadzooks when I grow up.

 

[YSR]

That's beautiful, particularly since I get stuck going to a couple of Chamber of Commerce events every month that are usually dreadful. Clearly I'm not trying hard enough.

Do you write CoC on every official document so people have to pronounce it in their heads?

That's going to be my monogram in three weeks.

 

[General Malaise]

The appetizers they served were awful, so I continued to utilize alcohol to fuel my body. A co-worker came up to me and said "here take this, I saw it and thought of you". It was coupons for Arby's. At the time, that didn't seem odd to me at all. So I shuffled over to the bar for another drink and a gorgeous young blonde came up next to me to get a drink. She said she worked in Real Estate and I told her I was Zoo-Keeper. She laughed and said "no you're not, I know that you work at the bank, did you think you'd get lucky by pretending to be a zoo-keeper?" I said "Oh come on, if I wanted to get lucky I'd just show you my Arby's coupons." She laughed and said that was the strangest thing she's ever heard, so I pulled out a "buy one get one free Roast Beef sandwich" coupon and told her no woman can resist a zoo-keeper with Arby's coupons. She laughed again (while falling in love with me... I think) then some older woman came over and grabbed her by the arm telling her she had to go with her to be introduced to somebody.

 

[General Malaise]

Gadzooks is now on my list of people I need to hang out with.

I'd love to, but I'm afraid one of us might die.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Zooks, I think, I think I love you.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

He stepped out of the way of the herpes bus and wandered onto the tracks of the monogamy train. Poor, dumb *******.

I'm waiting to be inspired.

FWIW, the drawings are probably my favorite thing on the interboards.

They say it sounds like a train when it's coming...

 

[YSR]

He stepped out of the way of the herpes bus and wandered onto the tracks of the monogamy train. Poor, dumb *******.

I'm waiting to be inspired.

FWIW, the drawings are probably my favorite thing on the interboards.

They say it sounds like a train when it's coming...

@ the detailsTruck's unibrow

Furley's man-boobs

Otis' hands

Shuke's sandwich

 

[Disco Stu]

He stepped out of the way of the herpes bus and wandered onto the tracks of the monogamy train. Poor, dumb *******.

I'm waiting to be inspired.

FWIW, the drawings are probably my favorite thing on the interboards.

They say it sounds like a train when it's coming...

@ the detailsTruck's unibrow

Furley's man-boobs

Otis' hands

Shuke's sandwich

Homer and I have clearly visible... ummm... third legs.

 

[mr. furley]

They say it sounds like a train when it's coming...

 

[Homer J Simpson]

He stepped out of the way of the herpes bus and wandered onto the tracks of the monogamy train. Poor, dumb *******.

I'm waiting to be inspired.

FWIW, the drawings are probably my favorite thing on the interboards.

They say it sounds like a train when it's coming...

@ the detailsTruck's unibrow

Furley's man-boobs

Otis' hands

Shuke's sandwich

Homer and I have clearly visible... ummm... third legs.

HFS that's beautiful.

Thanks for the giant wang, SLB.

 

[kevzilla]

Come home from my late-night Walmart run to find three cop cars and an ambulance arrayed in front of my building. I correctly guess it's the young guy, recently moved in, who had already had the cops out there once before. His girlfriend is lovely, no idea what she's doing with this loser. I had to go back out to my car (honest) and Victim Services is here. Sigh. Hoping this animal goes away for a while.

 

[General Malaise]

Come home from my late-night Walmart run to find three cop cars and an ambulance arrayed in front of my building. I correctly guess it's the young guy, recently moved in, who had already had the cops out there once before. His girlfriend is lovely, no idea what she's doing with this loser. I had to go back out to my car (honest) and Victim Services is here. Sigh. Hoping this animal goes away for a while.

Horrible.

 

[General Malaise]

He stepped out of the way of the herpes bus and wandered onto the tracks of the monogamy train. Poor, dumb *******.

I'm waiting to be inspired.

FWIW, the drawings are probably my favorite thing on the interboards.

They say it sounds like a train when it's coming...

@ the detailsTruck's unibrow

Furley's man-boobs

Otis' hands

Shuke's sandwich

 

[Good Posting Judge]

IT'S NOT A ####### UNIBROW THERE'S A ####### NATURAL GAP!

 

[Homer J Simpson]

IT'S NOT A ####### UNIBROW THERE'S A ####### NATURAL GAP!

Sure there is, GB. Sure there is.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Congrats Pickles if this all is now official -- the marriage and the kid, that is. Whens' the kid due?

August 22.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I got some strange looks when I asked if there was any ultra sound gel in the basket. I looked in the basket and saw that it contained scented hand lotions and candles. Apparently I told the older woman who gave me the basket that "now I can masturbate by candle light and smell great too."