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GM's thread about nothing (16 Viewers)

I getting ready to go the circus with my son, my brother, my other brother, his wife and son. Apparently if we get there early they have some kind of pre-show event where we can go down and have pictures taken with the animals. I'm gonna try to get a pic of me attempting to mount a tiger or maybe feeling up a female clown.
One time at the San Diego Zoo they had a zoologist with microphone taking questions from the public about the pandas, one of which had just had a baby. But the audience didn't have a microphone, so you had to go up and ask the question, most people couldn't hear it, then he would repeat it over the PA and answer it. So I went up and asked, 'if you were a male panda, would you have sex with that female panda after she'd had a kid?' And said into the microphone without missing a beat, 'that's a really good question, he just asked if pandas have any predators in the wild, and the answer strictly speaking, is no, because really their only predator is man.'I told him that that was a really impressive performance. He said thanks, then he asked me to leave.
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
So, I had a dream about GM. :unsure:I had made him this sandwich for some reason and he was doing some sort of radio show or something. The sandwich was about a foot and a half long and about 6 inches wide, with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, bacon and sausage. GM was reading a letter or something about FBGals but with their real names. I remember him lifting up the top part of the bread and noticed I had forgotten to put mayonaise on it. He looked at me and I ran over laughing, apologized and while he was going into some commercial break and spread the mayonaise on the bread and took the wrapper off some of the cheese slices. :shrug:
:unsure: Were we clothed?
 
I had a dream the other night that I was drinking beer and smoking cigarettes while watching a brand new Jaws movie and getting a HJ from Mila Kunis.

It was a good dream.

 
Thinking of starting an internet rumor that the repeal of DADT directly contributed to Bin Laden's death. I think the folks here are creative enough to come up with the backstory and launch point.

:bored:

 
I was having trouble sleeping last night and was thirsty so I went downstairs to make myself ice water. As I reached the bottom of the steps I see the dog, laying on his back sleeping like Snoopy, his preferred way to sleep, with dirt EVERYWHERE. He apparently thought it would be fun to tear up one of my potted plants. Good thing I has had the carpets cleaned a week ago. I finally fell asleep around 4:30 only to be woken up by the phone at 10 with our agent telling me somebody was coming by to take a look at the house at 1. FML

 
Question about streaming Netflix (via Wii if that matters)-

Totally hypothetical, but is there a way to remove something from the 'recently viewed' list?

TIA
"Emmanuelle"? "Sex Galaxy"? "The Story of O"?
much more embarassing :bag:
"Brokeback Mountain" embarrassing or "Maid in Manhattan" embarrassing?
I, uh....I 'used' Brokeback Mountain once. :bag:
Might want to qualify that statement a bit. NTTAWWT
 
Question about streaming Netflix (via Wii if that matters)-

Totally hypothetical, but is there a way to remove something from the 'recently viewed' list?

TIA
"Emmanuelle"? "Sex Galaxy"? "The Story of O"?
much more embarassing :bag:
"Brokeback Mountain" embarrassing or "Maid in Manhattan" embarrassing?
I, uh....I 'used' Brokeback Mountain once. :bag:
link
 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.

 
Question about streaming Netflix (via Wii if that matters)-

Totally hypothetical, but is there a way to remove something from the 'recently viewed' list?

TIA
"Emmanuelle"? "Sex Galaxy"? "The Story of O"?
much more embarassing :bag:
"Brokeback Mountain" embarrassing or "Maid in Manhattan" embarrassing?
I, uh....I 'used' Brokeback Mountain once. :bag:
Might want to qualify that statement a bit. NTTAWWT
One of the gay cowboys' wives shows a nipple or two during a sex scene. It was...it was enough.
 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
:shock: He alright?
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
Oh man. Is he going to be alright, GB?
Yeah, he's good. It's actually more of a deep furrow than a hole. The medics told him he got the perfect wound, because he'll get his purple heart and all the requisite benefits, without any debilitating physical effects. He's calling it his "John Kerry."
 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
:shock: He alright?
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
Oh man. Is he going to be alright, GB?
Yeah, he's good. It's actually more of a deep furrow than a hole. The medics told him he got the perfect wound, because he'll get his purple heart and all the requisite benefits, without any debilitating physical effects. He's calling it his "John Kerry."
:lmao: At least his sense of humor still works.Glad he's gonna be okay. :thumbup: And tell him I said 'thank you for his service'.
 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
:shock: He alright?
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
Oh man. Is he going to be alright, GB?
Yeah, he's good. It's actually more of a deep furrow than a hole. The medics told him he got the perfect wound, because he'll get his purple heart and all the requisite benefits, without any debilitating physical effects. He's calling it his "John Kerry."
Glad to hear. I thought they called that the "million dollar wound".
 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
:shock: He alright?
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
Oh man. Is he going to be alright, GB?
Yeah, he's good. It's actually more of a deep furrow than a hole. The medics told him he got the perfect wound, because he'll get his purple heart and all the requisite benefits, without any debilitating physical effects. He's calling it his "John Kerry."
:lmao: At least his sense of humor still works.Glad he's gonna be okay. :thumbup: And tell him I said 'thank you for his service'.
Will do. Thanks.
 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
:shock: He alright?
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
Oh man. Is he going to be alright, GB?
Yeah, he's good. It's actually more of a deep furrow than a hole. The medics told him he got the perfect wound, because he'll get his purple heart and all the requisite benefits, without any debilitating physical effects. He's calling it his "John Kerry."
Glad to hear. I thought they called that the "million dollar wound".
Pretty sure that's Teresa Kerry's ######.
 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
:shock: He alright?
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
Oh man. Is he going to be alright, GB?
Yeah, he's good. It's actually more of a deep furrow than a hole. The medics told him he got the perfect wound, because he'll get his purple heart and all the requisite benefits, without any debilitating physical effects. He's calling it his "John Kerry."
Glad to hear. I thought they called that the "million dollar wound".
Pretty sure that's Teresa Kerry's ######.
yeesh
 
Get this load of horsecrap. Apparently today, when the mailman came by, dogs got out the gate (first time this has happened) and ran towards him. He claims that he felt threatened and sprayed them with pepper spray AND THEN the cowardly POS filed a dangerous animals complaint against us and we got served with 2 $325 tickets!

No evaluation, no previous complaints - just bang, ##### mailman feels threatened, assaults my dogs on my property makes a complaint and somehow I get hit with a ridiculous ticket.

 
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Get this load of horsecrap. Apparently today, when the mailman came by dogs got out the gate (first time this has happened) and ran towards him. He claims that he felt threatened and sprayed them with pepper spray AND THEN the cowardly POS filed a dangerous animals complaint against us and we got served with 2 $325 tickets!No evaluation, no previous complaints - just bang, ##### mailman feels threatens assaults my dogs on my property makes a complaint and somehow I get hit with a ridiculous ticket.
Yeesh. We had a phone/cable guy in the house the other day and he asked if my dog bites while looking like this :scared: . My dog weighs 14 pounds.
 
Get this load of horsecrap. Apparently today, when the mailman came by dogs got out the gate (first time this has happened) and ran towards him. He claims that he felt threatened and sprayed them with pepper spray AND THEN the cowardly POS filed a dangerous animals complaint against us and we got served with 2 $325 tickets!

No evaluation, no previous complaints - just bang, ##### mailman feels threatens assaults my dogs on my property makes a complaint and somehow I get hit with a ridiculous ticket.
Yeesh. We had a phone/cable guy in the house the other day and he asked if my dog bites while looking like this :scared: . My dog weighs 14 pounds.
Not to lawyer-up the thread, but, Penny Pinchers v Outlaw:

Cindy Scott was the manager of Penny Pinchers, a discount grocery store located in West Point, Mississippi. She was also the owner of a four-month-old daschund puppy named Sophie, which weighed four pounds and one ounce. Scott took Sophie to work with her every day. She set up a piece of peg board to keep Sophie contained in the area behind the checkout counter. Scott testified that this was to protect Sophie from the customers because Sophie was such a tiny dog.

On August 16, 2006, Outlaw entered Penny Pinchers. She said hello to Scott, who was having a conversation with Anita Reeves, an employee, and Ivy Mann, a customer. Outlaw testified that she started walking down an aisle when she heard a dog bark. Because she is terrified of dogs, she started running down the aisle toward the back of the store. She said that she could hear the claws of the dog hit the floor as the dog chased her down the aisle. When she turned to see how close the dog was, she ran into a freezer at the back of the store. She then tried to jump on top of the freezer to get away from the dog.

Outlaw testified that Scott picked up the dog and told Outlaw that the dog would not hurt her. When Outlaw saw how small the dog was, she began to laugh and tell Scott about her extreme fear of dogs. Outlaw then went on with her shopping....

Outlaw had extensive health problems before this incident. She had Perthes Disease as a child, a condition that caused severe hip problems. She also suffers from rheumatoid arthritis. She had a total replacement of the left hip in 1995. Because the prosthetic device used in the hip replacement only lasts between ten to fifteen years, Outlaw underwent a revision surgery in 2005. Again, that prosthetic device was estimated to last from ten to fifteen years; however, Outlaw had to have a second revision surgery in 2006 following her collision with the freezer at Penny Pinchers.

Outlaw filed suit against Penny Pinchers .... Outlaw alleged that Penny Pinchers negligently failed to (1) maintain the premises in a safe condition, (2) provide proper restraint of the dog, and (3) warn customers of the dog’s presence.... The jury found Penny Pinchers 70% liable and Outlaw 30% liable for Outlaw’s injuries. Outlaw was awarded $130,000....
Thankfully, this was recently reversed.
 
Get this load of horsecrap. Apparently today, when the mailman came by dogs got out the gate (first time this has happened) and ran towards him. He claims that he felt threatened and sprayed them with pepper spray AND THEN the cowardly POS filed a dangerous animals complaint against us and we got served with 2 $325 tickets!

No evaluation, no previous complaints - just bang, ##### mailman feels threatens assaults my dogs on my property makes a complaint and somehow I get hit with a ridiculous ticket.
Yeesh. We had a phone/cable guy in the house the other day and he asked if my dog bites while looking like this :scared: . My dog weighs 14 pounds.
Not to lawyer-up the thread, but, Penny Pinchers v Outlaw:

Cindy Scott was the manager of Penny Pinchers, a discount grocery store located in West Point, Mississippi. She was also the owner of a four-month-old daschund puppy named Sophie, which weighed four pounds and one ounce. Scott took Sophie to work with her every day. She set up a piece of peg board to keep Sophie contained in the area behind the checkout counter. Scott testified that this was to protect Sophie from the customers because Sophie was such a tiny dog.

On August 16, 2006, Outlaw entered Penny Pinchers. She said hello to Scott, who was having a conversation with Anita Reeves, an employee, and Ivy Mann, a customer. Outlaw testified that she started walking down an aisle when she heard a dog bark. Because she is terrified of dogs, she started running down the aisle toward the back of the store. She said that she could hear the claws of the dog hit the floor as the dog chased her down the aisle. When she turned to see how close the dog was, she ran into a freezer at the back of the store. She then tried to jump on top of the freezer to get away from the dog.

Outlaw testified that Scott picked up the dog and told Outlaw that the dog would not hurt her. When Outlaw saw how small the dog was, she began to laugh and tell Scott about her extreme fear of dogs. Outlaw then went on with her shopping....

Outlaw had extensive health problems before this incident. She had Perthes Disease as a child, a condition that caused severe hip problems. She also suffers from rheumatoid arthritis. She had a total replacement of the left hip in 1995. Because the prosthetic device used in the hip replacement only lasts between ten to fifteen years, Outlaw underwent a revision surgery in 2005. Again, that prosthetic device was estimated to last from ten to fifteen years; however, Outlaw had to have a second revision surgery in 2006 following her collision with the freezer at Penny Pinchers.

Outlaw filed suit against Penny Pinchers .... Outlaw alleged that Penny Pinchers negligently failed to (1) maintain the premises in a safe condition, (2) provide proper restraint of the dog, and (3) warn customers of the dog’s presence.... The jury found Penny Pinchers 70% liable and Outlaw 30% liable for Outlaw’s injuries. Outlaw was awarded $130,000....
Thankfully, this was recently reversed.
Outlaw = Woz?
 
Get this load of horsecrap. Apparently today, when the mailman came by dogs got out the gate (first time this has happened) and ran towards him. He claims that he felt threatened and sprayed them with pepper spray AND THEN the cowardly POS filed a dangerous animals complaint against us and we got served with 2 $325 tickets!No evaluation, no previous complaints - just bang, ##### mailman feels threatens assaults my dogs on my property makes a complaint and somehow I get hit with a ridiculous ticket.
I used to have a 170 lb newfoundland--sweetest dog ever. While I was on vacation a few years back, we had a neighbor feeding him and walking him every day. Our alarm system goes off (motion detectors picked up movement of our blinds from vents blowing them), and the sheriffs come to check it out. The sheriff draws his gun and is about to open my back gate, when the neighbor asks him what he's doing. He says that he has to investigate because the security system has been triggered and he's going to shoot the dog because it's too risky to go back there. My neighbor tells him he's crazy, and goes and gets the dog and puts him in the garage while he investigates the false alarm--which I'd already told the alarm company to shut off.
 
Get this load of horsecrap. Apparently today, when the mailman came by dogs got out the gate (first time this has happened) and ran towards him. He claims that he felt threatened and sprayed them with pepper spray AND THEN the cowardly POS filed a dangerous animals complaint against us and we got served with 2 $325 tickets!No evaluation, no previous complaints - just bang, ##### mailman feels threatens assaults my dogs on my property makes a complaint and somehow I get hit with a ridiculous ticket.
I used to have a 170 lb newfoundland--sweetest dog ever. While I was on vacation a few years back, we had a neighbor feeding him and walking him every day. Our alarm system goes off (motion detectors picked up movement of our blinds from vents blowing them), and the sheriffs come to check it out. The sheriff draws his gun and is about to open my back gate, when the neighbor asks him what he's doing. He says that he has to investigate because the security system has been triggered and he's going to shoot the dog because it's too risky to go back there. My neighbor tells him he's crazy, and goes and gets the dog and puts him in the garage while he investigates the false alarm--which I'd already told the alarm company to shut off.
This feels like an overly -bureaucratic Seattle type thing. People here seem very anti-dog, which is further exagerrated for me by the fact that Denver is such a pro-Dog kind of city.The fact that the guy would immediate go and file a complaint instead of speaking with us is absurd.
 
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*candlelight*

*bear skin rug*

*bottle of wine*

Girl, I know it's been a long time

Since a man made you feel like a real woman

It gets cold up in Newfoundland, just trying to get by

Avoiding penguin gangs and snow snakes and ####

But I'm here to take your mind off things

Don't worry, girl. The kids are gone for the night.

Let me rub those frosty Newfie shoulders and have you relax

Drink some wine, smoke some dope by the fire, awwwww yeeeeeah

You know how I get down baby.

Now let me remove that overcoat.

And that fur vest.

And your second coat.

And your flannel shirt.

And your boots and those three pairs of socks.

And your long johns.

Awwwww ####, that's what I'm talking about.

I hope you have insurance on this igloo

Because the heat of our love could melt this ####er down

I'm not like that other guy, I am not going to pass out at 9 PM

I will make love to you for three days straight

I hired a caterer to make us sandwiches

And she can feed them to us so we don't have to stop

####, maybe she can get involved too

The things we're going to do would make Luther Campbell blush

What? You want to do that too?

Damn baby, you're a freak

I gotta be honest girl, you're probably gonna end up pregnant

No pill or rubber can stop the train

My juice is like SEAL Team Six

ool
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: I needed that today. No particular reason, I was just feeling like crap since the s/w visit.

Then I stopped by the garage on the way home and the mechanic asked if the grease and oil was for me or the van. Yeah baby

 
Yeah, he's good. It's actually more of a deep furrow than a hole. The medics told him he got the perfect wound, because he'll get his purple heart and all the requisite benefits, without any debilitating physical effects. He's calling it his "John Kerry."
Good to hear, it will make a great story.
 
text exchange just now:

Ex: "Are you around this evening? Taya [daughter rover/fish] wants to have dinner with you."

Fish: "Yes, but I have a conference call from 6:30-7:00"

Ex: "Is it here in town?"

 
Can't find the post, but at one point last year I related that my brother was being deployed to Afghanistan. He's got a month or 2 left before he comes home. Turns out the ####### went and got himself a new hole in his shoulder.
crazy kids. first it was ears, then it was noses and lips.. now shoulders. what will they think of next?
 
Nothing like having two sets of family coming to town this weekend to really up my productivity. Thus far today I've painted 6 doors, installed doorknob sets in those 6 doors, primed another door, caulked and painted 4 doorways, primed our guest bedroom and hand-washed dishes (our dishwasher seems to be broken). I'm about to shower and head to Lowe's for more caulk and Kilz, and when I get back, I'll paint the guest bedroom, and caulk and paint the remaining doorways. :bowtie:

If I can figure out how to install a showerhead, that will be a huge coup for me. Based on what I saw when I unscrewed the current one today, it's a little out of my league.
Not sure how you didn't get a timeout for this dirty post. But I enjoyed it (several times) and I don't even know what "Kilz" means.
 
*candlelight**bear skin rug**bottle of wine*Girl, I know it's been a long timeSince a man made you feel like a real womanIt gets cold up in Newfoundland, just trying to get byAvoiding penguin gangs and snow snakes and ####But I'm here to take your mind off thingsThe things we're going to do would make Luther Campbell blushWhat? You want to do that too?Damn baby, you're a freakI gotta be honest girl, you're probably gonna end up pregnantNo pill or rubber can stop the trainMy juice is like SEAL Team Sixool
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
So, I had a dream about GM. :unsure:I had made him this sandwich for some reason and he was doing some sort of radio show or something. The sandwich was about a foot and a half long and about 6 inches wide, with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, bacon and sausage. GM was reading a letter or something about FBGals but with their real names. I remember him lifting up the top part of the bread and noticed I had forgotten to put mayonaise on it. He looked at me and I ran over laughing, apologized and while he was going into some commercial break and spread the mayonaise on the bread and took the wrapper off some of the cheese slices. :shrug:
:unsure: Were we clothed?
Yeah, sorry. :)
 

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