YSR
Footballguy
It's my mother's maiden name and is my #1 choice if I have a boy.
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GM's thread about nothing (29 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
ipod down?drunk dialing SLB (or me) down?
YSR
Footballguy
"well, if YOU'RE not going to talk to me, I'll just call some guys from the Internet."
General Malaise
Footballguy
I was thinking of "Diet", but that only sucks if he gets fat.'SuperAwesomeDude said:
gamera
Footballguy
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
I wasn't wearing protective eyewear, and, as such, was concerned about approaching his jigsaw.
SuperAwesomeDude
Footballguy
well we way about 300lbs combined. almost 200 being my own... shouldnt be fat. shouldnt
SuperAwesomeDude
Footballguy
yeah but that rhymes easily with "Borange"
tomorrow is supposed to be the hottest day of the year in Chicago and we just had the gnarliest hail storm I've ever seen.
General Malaise
Footballguy
See, now I appreciate the joke. 99.9% of the people with 5 or more posts in this thread will not be offended by it and will appreciate the joke. But you HAVE to know that it's going to earn you a timeout at the very least, right?'WalrusMan said:
gamera
Footballguy
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General Malaise
Footballguy
I have to cook 10 lbs of chicken for my son's birthday party tomorrow. I was going to do it in the crock pot overnight and all day tomorrow (two separate batches). I wanted to buy wings, but they didn't have wings. So I went with drumsticks and thighs. Can I do those in a crock pot? I've googled a bunch of recipes, but I'm not loving any of them. I don't want a soupy mess...This is the leader in the clubhouse for the drumsticks. Needs something for thighs. Any help? Slap it low?
McJose
Footballguy
facook
Footballguy
Ambition.Love the poop stories.
Thorn
Footballguy
Rulez. Though I would go with Spicoli on one leg and Mr. Ham on the other and leave out Judge. That way it's kind of a commentary on the duality of man.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Holy moly...that is fantastic.So, as some of you might know, I sport an ankle tat. Probably the 17th dumbest thing I did in college. I hate it, but it's a tribute to a friend who died, so I kept it, but it's awful. I've started joking with the wife that I'm just going to enhance it and make my entire calf a giant totem pole tattoo of sorts, with tattoos of her face, the boys' faces and her cat, Jules, who she jokingly refers to as my 'step-son'. I've tried to give him away to over a million people, which she hates.
Anyhow, lotta room on this leg. Any other options? Shuke? Studs & Duds? Joe Bryant and Fatguy cheek to cheek?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Thank god I didn't ask you clowns how to treat a snake bite, give CPR or bring a woman to climax. Where are all the cooks?First batch underway...went with the dry rub. Never skinned a chicken drumstick before.
Thorn
Footballguy
What's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.
Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
I guess my father had said "can't we quiet that kid down?" during game 7 of the Stanley Cup, and in my SIL's estimation, he was more interested in sports than her grandson, didn't ask to hold the baby, didn't compliment the new parents enough (at all?) on their hard work, and didn't offer to help out around the house while he was there.
So my father falls all over himself apologizing, offers to do whatever he can to help, and makes it clear that he was just joking around with his comments. The remaining time there is torture for my father, and my SIL says to my brother that she doesn't think dad's apology was sincere, and even though he cooks every meal for the remainder of his trip, it was fake and only done to get along, as far as she is concerned.
Now my brother is "no confrontation guy." Absolutely cannot, will not, confront anyone about anything. He's basically in his own personal version of hell. My father is as mad as I've ever seen him (he dropped more f bombs than I have ever heard him utter in my life in one phone call from their house), and my mother is basically on the verge of tears, even though my parents are divorced, because she knows what a ####### disaster this is all around.
The kicker is that SIL decides after my father leaves that she needs to go to stay at her mother's house with the baby for the next week, "to get some rest." Her mom lives 5 hours away.
So I'm talking to my brother and my mother pretty much every day, not knowing what to say. My brother realizes that he actually has some marriage issues to work on that are way bigger than this situation (who goes home to mommy when things get tough? Is she 12?). My mother wants everything to be unicorns and rainbows, but there is literally no way to repair this. My father hates SIL now and will probably never return to the west coast to see his grandson.
I am so angry and sad at the same time. I am worn out. I have rehashed this stupid thing with everyone ad nauseum.
Thanks for reading if you did. Blech.
Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
I guess my father had said "can't we quiet that kid down?" during game 7 of the Stanley Cup, and in my SIL's estimation, he was more interested in sports than her grandson, didn't ask to hold the baby, didn't compliment the new parents enough (at all?) on their hard work, and didn't offer to help out around the house while he was there.So my father falls all over himself apologizing, offers to do whatever he can to help, and makes it clear that he was just joking around with his comments. The remaining time there is torture for my father, and my SIL says to my brother that she doesn't think dad's apology was sincere, and even though he cooks every meal for the remainder of his trip, it was fake and only done to get along, as far as she is concerned.
Now my brother is "no confrontation guy." Absolutely cannot, will not, confront anyone about anything. He's basically in his own personal version of hell. My father is as mad as I've ever seen him (he dropped more f bombs than I have ever heard him utter in my life in one phone call from their house), and my mother is basically on the verge of tears, even though my parents are divorced, because she knows what a ####### disaster this is all around.
The kicker is that SIL decides after my father leaves that she needs to go to stay at her mother's house with the baby for the next week, "to get some rest." Her mom lives 5 hours away.
So I'm talking to my brother and my mother pretty much every day, not knowing what to say. My brother realizes that he actually has some marriage issues to work on that are way bigger than this situation (who goes home to mommy when things get tough? Is she 12?). My mother wants everything to be unicorns and rainbows, but there is literally no way to repair this. My father hates SIL now and will probably never return to the west coast to see his grandson.
I am so angry and sad at the same time. I am worn out. I have rehashed this stupid thing with everyone ad nauseum.
Thanks for reading if you did. Blech.
facook
Footballguy
Hey Thorn, I know you're not necessarily looking for advice here, so at the risk of sounding like a d-bag offering unsolicited advice:Just to encourage you in the role of son/brother - it's not your job to fix this. It sounds like you're getting pulled into the middle of the family drama. I wonder if you've been put in the role of peacemaker before? My wife and I have been going through some stuff on dysfunctional family systems, cause God knows we've come out of them and are trying to break those patterns in our own family. It's good your brother sees the need to fix bigger stuff in his marriage, because he and his wife have their own dysfunction they're creating/perpetuating together (as you note, running home to mama being a great example of that). Also, your dad already apologized, and it's not up to him to convince SIL it was sincere. It's up to her to grow up and forgive him.Anyway, just some random thoughts as I read. Sorry you're going through that. Family drama is the suck. Again, just to encourage you: the only person you can control/fix is you. Everyone else is responsible for themselves. Good luck, man.What's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
-fish-
Footballguy
What's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
I don't know why we're using spoilers, but that sucks. I once told my (drunk) father in law that while he was welcome in my house, he didn't have the authority to discipline my child without talking to me first, since he had punished her for something it turned out we allowed her to do. Turned into a big fight, ending me telling him that it was my house, and that he wasn't going to be telling me how to parent my child. He got into my wife's car and promptly crashed it into my garage while trying to pull out backward. I threw him out, told him he was no longer welcome and that I'd send him the bill for the car repair and garage. Caused all sorts of long-term issues. Stuff like that is a total pain in the ###, and sometimes there just is no fixing it.
desert rose
Footballguy
Sorry about your family woes. Sometimes people just suck.What's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
cosjobs
Footballguy
What name goes between Wyatt and Bentley? Trash?
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General Malaise
Footballguy
Hey Thorn, I know you're not necessarily looking for advice here, so at the risk of sounding like a d-bag offering unsolicited advice:Just to encourage you in the role of son/brother - it's not your job to fix this. It sounds like you're getting pulled into the middle of the family drama. I wonder if you've been put in the role of peacemaker before? My wife and I have been going through some stuff on dysfunctional family systems, cause God knows we've come out of them and are trying to break those patterns in our own family. It's good your brother sees the need to fix bigger stuff in his marriage, because he and his wife have their own dysfunction they're creating/perpetuating together (as you note, running home to mama being a great example of that). Also, your dad already apologized, and it's not up to him to convince SIL it was sincere. It's up to her to grow up and forgive him.Anyway, just some random thoughts as I read. Sorry you're going through that. Family drama is the suck. Again, just to encourage you: the only person you can control/fix is you. Everyone else is responsible for themselves. Good luck, man.What's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
Agree with a lot of this, though I'm sure it's pulling Thorn apart. Seems as if his brother is incapable of fixing this himself and Thorn feels obligated to coach him on what to do so it doesn't turn out as he dreads.
Sigh....This isn't an answer, but an anecdote to let you know I've been in the middle of this, only I was where your brother is now. My ex-wife and my mother got off to a terrible start. My mother and father flew up from Texas to visit me in Portland in 1999. I had just moved in with my now ex-wife and was really excited to have my parents come up and stay with us. I saw them only once or twice a year and since I'm close to them, it was always great to see each other. First night they are in town, we go out and celebrate. My mom knocks back some Wild Turkey and compares my ex to my old GF in college (Michelle)...said they looked alike, etc. This pissed my ex off, but she shrugged it off. Later, at our apartment, we're watching the Dallas Stars beat up on the Sabres in the Finals when my mother actually CALLS my ex "Michelle". Well, this was it. Ex screams at my mother and storms off, slamming the door. My mother goes to follow, shouting "WAIT, MICHELLE! I MEAN TAMARA"So that's how things started. It never really improved. They tried to get along and on the surface they did, but there was always tension and it carried over into other family members and got worse as the years went by. There were probably 20 nasty, horrible, all-involving fights between her grand mother, my mother, my sister, my ex-wife, my best friend and his wife, my aunts...Thorn, it was a nightmare that last for nearly a decade. And I was in the middle of it all. It nearly destroyed my life. It absolutely helped to destroy my first marriage. And I was terrified that at some point, my ex would threaten to keep our children from my family. These things can get personal and nasty and awful and painful in a hurry. And once that cat has come out of the bag, there's really no putting it back in for good. Your father will be hypersensitive to anything your SIL says to him and will be very quick to fire back. Your SIL will be the same way. And your poor brother...my god. I feel so bad for him. And you.Sounds like you'll be there to help him along. I never really had that. My sister was leading the charge against my ex. Hates her to this day. So, I know you are in a bad spot. It's impossible not to take sides, but I think you are wise enough to do it. Be there for your brother as best you can. Chances are he's feeling very helpless right now. I sure did. Hope he doesn't hit the bottle like I did.Good luck.
Thorn
Footballguy
Hey Thorn, I know you're not necessarily looking for advice here, so at the risk of sounding like a d-bag offering unsolicited advice:Just to encourage you in the role of son/brother - it's not your job to fix this. It sounds like you're getting pulled into the middle of the family drama. I wonder if you've been put in the role of peacemaker before? My wife and I have been going through some stuff on dysfunctional family systems, cause God knows we've come out of them and are trying to break those patterns in our own family. It's good your brother sees the need to fix bigger stuff in his marriage, because he and his wife have their own dysfunction they're creating/perpetuating together (as you note, running home to mama being a great example of that). Also, your dad already apologized, and it's not up to him to convince SIL it was sincere. It's up to her to grow up and forgive him.Anyway, just some random thoughts as I read. Sorry you're going through that. Family drama is the suck. Again, just to encourage you: the only person you can control/fix is you. Everyone else is responsible for themselves. Good luck, man.Thanks, and much of what you write is correct. I'm the oldest brother so I am the one who people often come to with stuff. But never anything this damaged. I really don't know what to tell my brother anyhow. I know that him taking sides against his wife is marriage poison, so he can't do that. But she is the one in the wrong here, at least in her reactions. Basically my take is that she probably had a point about my father being rude, but her reaction to that wrong is so far overblown that she has lost all credibility. Plus I wish she had gone to my brother about it and asked him to talk to my father.What's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
Sergeant Spelt
Footballguy
Thorn
Footballguy
Sorry about your family woes. Sometimes people just suck.Thanks GBDRWhat's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
Anybody ever have incredible stabbing pains in the back of their eyes? I have chronic sinus problems and allergies. These I can live with. Recently I've been getting these really bad stabbing pains...mostly directly behind my left eye. Ball cancer?
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
can we get some friday up in here?
Thorn
Footballguy
What's been depressing me lately (long):
So my brother and his wife had their baby two months ago. First grandchild on our side of the family. They live on the west coast and we live on the east. So my father goes out to visit a couple weeks back. Now granted, he can be a little gruff, even rude, but barely underneath that veneer is a very family-focused, principled and upstanding man. However, apparently his manner was so unbearable to my SIL that she decided to start the sequel to the Biggie/2pac bi-coastal beef.Apparently my father made some comment about not liking it when anyone insults one of his kids, which prompted her to lay into him for being rude to her son. Who's two months old.
Hey Thorn, I know you're not necessarily looking for advice here, so at the risk of sounding like a d-bag offering unsolicited advice:Just to encourage you in the role of son/brother - it's not your job to fix this. It sounds like you're getting pulled into the middle of the family drama. I wonder if you've been put in the role of peacemaker before? My wife and I have been going through some stuff on dysfunctional family systems, cause God knows we've come out of them and are trying to break those patterns in our own family. It's good your brother sees the need to fix bigger stuff in his marriage, because he and his wife have their own dysfunction they're creating/perpetuating together (as you note, running home to mama being a great example of that). Also, your dad already apologized, and it's not up to him to convince SIL it was sincere. It's up to her to grow up and forgive him.Anyway, just some random thoughts as I read. Sorry you're going through that. Family drama is the suck. Again, just to encourage you: the only person you can control/fix is you. Everyone else is responsible for themselves. Good luck, man.
Agree with a lot of this, though I'm sure it's pulling Thorn apart. Seems as if his brother is incapable of fixing this himself and Thorn feels obligated to coach him on what to do so it doesn't turn out as he dreads.
Sigh....This isn't an answer, but an anecdote to let you know I've been in the middle of this, only I was where your brother is now. My ex-wife and my mother got off to a terrible start. My mother and father flew up from Texas to visit me in Portland in 1999. I had just moved in with my now ex-wife and was really excited to have my parents come up and stay with us. I saw them only once or twice a year and since I'm close to them, it was always great to see each other. First night they are in town, we go out and celebrate. My mom knocks back some Wild Turkey and compares my ex to my old GF in college (Michelle)...said they looked alike, etc. This pissed my ex off, but she shrugged it off. Later, at our apartment, we're watching the Dallas Stars beat up on the Sabres in the Finals when my mother actually CALLS my ex "Michelle". Well, this was it. Ex screams at my mother and storms off, slamming the door. My mother goes to follow, shouting "WAIT, MICHELLE! I MEAN TAMARA"So that's how things started. It never really improved. They tried to get along and on the surface they did, but there was always tension and it carried over into other family members and got worse as the years went by. There were probably 20 nasty, horrible, all-involving fights between her grand mother, my mother, my sister, my ex-wife, my best friend and his wife, my aunts...Thorn, it was a nightmare that last for nearly a decade. And I was in the middle of it all. It nearly destroyed my life. It absolutely helped to destroy my first marriage. And I was terrified that at some point, my ex would threaten to keep our children from my family. These things can get personal and nasty and awful and painful in a hurry. And once that cat has come out of the bag, there's really no putting it back in for good. Your father will be hypersensitive to anything your SIL says to him and will be very quick to fire back. Your SIL will be the same way. And your poor brother...my god. I feel so bad for him. And you.Sounds like you'll be there to help him along. I never really had that. My sister was leading the charge against my ex. Hates her to this day. So, I know you are in a bad spot. It's impossible not to take sides, but I think you are wise enough to do it. Be there for your brother as best you can. Chances are he's feeling very helpless right now. I sure did. Hope he doesn't hit the bottle like I did.Good luck.
El Floppo
Footballguy
So this is a guy I've seen around the EVil the entire time I've lived here (starting early 90s)- seemed like he was always at least 70.I've always wanted to snap a photo, and the opportunity finally arose at our supermarket. I don't know why, but it seemed to weird to me, 1: that he actually shops in a supermarket, and 2: that he uses coupons.
And I'm willing to bet that somewhere in there he's got Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool.
Thorn
Footballguy
Here is my best poop story. Years ago, I was watching my friend's two youngest - his 7 year old daughter with downs syndrome, and his 4 year old. They were thick as thieves back then. Loved to play together. So I was watching TV in one room and they were playing in another. You know how you can pick up something is wrong when kids are too quiet for too long? So I mute the TV. I can hear the 4 year old, Will, telling his sister "don't cry Lucy, it will be okay!" and her saying, "Will! Go away! I am in the bathroom and I need privacy!" But I could also hear that she was crying.So I head for the bathroom to investigate. Pure panic on the 4 year old's face. "Don't go in! Lucy needs privacy!" He starts tugging on my arm. God love him for trying to protect his sister. I finally had to pick him up and say, "Will, listen, I'm the grown up here. Whatever is going on I will help Lucy. I can handle it." Famous last words.I go in the bathroom and Lucy is standing in the corner doing her best to look like nothing is up. Now she is something of a prankster*, but I look at her and know that this isn't one of those times. So I ask her what's wrong. Imagine the most passive aggressive "nothing" you've ever heard from your SO. Multiply it by 1000. Arms folded, scrunched up face, looking at the floor, she grunts "NOTHING" at me. Okay.I look at Will and he can barely contain himself. "What happened Will?""LUCY DROPPED HER GLASSES IN THE TOILET! SHE DROPPED THEM IN THE TOILET AFTER SHE POOPED IN IT!!" He shouts, jumping around like a madman. Then of course they start fighting about it. She's been in trouble before for losing her glasses. I look in the toilet. Now, one thing about Lucy is that Downs was just one of a host of serious medical issues she was born with. She is actually a medical miracle. She was born without an esophagus. So let's just say that her poops don't look like yours and mine. My bad day diarrhea is firmer than her good days by a long shot. So this toilet bowl is just a brown mess.I eventually find a pair of pliers in the basement and fish the glasses out of the bottom of that soup. Will is acting like we just won the world series - "See Lucy I told you it would be okay! Glasses are saved!!" Lucy's not so into it. I boil the glasses and the pliers and give them back to her good as new (?). Her mood brightens. /story*One time when I was watching her, she was maybe 6, she said she "needed" me to take her to the bathroom. I knew she really didn't but whatever, I play along. She gets done going #2, goes into a toe touch with her butt in the air and says "wipe please." I say, "Lucy, come one now, you know how to wipe." She just starts laughing and then cleans herself. Snake.
SuperAwesomeDude
Footballguy
i pooped my pants when visiting my brother at the University of Iowa a few years ago. couldnt find the dorm room bathroom down the hall. ended up putting the boxers in the elevator and sending them down to the lobby.
Bogart
Footballguy
I had to tell the very hot redhead at my daughter's daycare this morning, "If my daughter has a poop accident, please save the shorts but throw away the underwear." My wife opened her bag yesterday and almost puked as they had placed all of her poop clothes in a garbage bag and then zipped it up in her backpack.
Sergeant Spelt
Footballguy
Sergeant Spelt
Footballguy
My overly competitive son told me he had his longest poop evah last night (about 7" by how far apart he held his hands to show me) and asked what my record is. He didn't believe that I've nearly wrapped it around the entire bowl.
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
Thorn>sorry you got dragged into it
ODoyleRules
Footballguy
Holy crap - I might just have to get that Brad Hamilton tattoo.
ODoyleRules
Footballguy
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
"DNA Will Prove You Got My 17 Year Old Pregnant"....classic Maury
I miss being able to watch daytime TV now that I'm not in college anymore
I miss being able to watch daytime TV now that I'm not in college anymore
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
Andrea, 17, believes that Keenan, 18, is her baby's father. Audrey, Andrea's mother, thinks that Keenan is the baby's father because the baby "looks just like his ugly ###".
Steve Tasker
Footballguy
He IS the father.
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