YSR
Footballguy
No, you don't.
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GM's thread about nothing (29 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Also, if my Mrs. SLB and myself don't get away from the kids for some time to ourselves, my marriage might be over. She doesn't handle pressure and the fruit of my loins well. I've been pretty depressed about it but this morning on my walk I caught a smoking hot blond, college aged gal checking me out from her car as I crossed the street. I smiled at her and she gave me big smile back and then tilted her head so her neck was exposed facing me and started playing with her hair. Maybe she thought I was Trent Dilfer or possibly the Unibomber based on my attire. Maybe she was just ####### with me. Either way, it made my day. I feel like I should have at least copied her license plate number down to stalk her or possibly I should have just dove on the hood of her car.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Yes, yes I do. Captiva Island to be exact.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
No, these are clearly just drug addicts selling candy at the tailgate lots for a huge markup in order to make money. But it's the same idea.
General Malaise
Footballguy
If only Boston Fred hadn't left us for the shark pool.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Oh I know what you meant. They generally work the exit ramps around here.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
I'll take you under my paw.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I understand.
Better up in the NW than stuck in Southern Cal traffic eating smog for hours...while extravagant, this vehicle would be quite the treat while rolling down the coast of Oregon about a month ago. Has the weather turned yet? The wife said the rain was just around the corner a few days ago.Cosjobs is driving a convertible Camero.
McJose
Footballguy
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Drifter
Footballguy
It's hereBetter up in the NW than stuck in Southern Cal traffic eating smog for hours...while extravagant, this vehicle would be quite the treat while rolling down the coast of Oregon about a month ago. Has the weather turned yet? The wife said the rain was just around the corner a few days ago.Cosjobs is driving a convertible Camero.
Guster
Footballguy
I've been called worsegood thing I told cosjobs to try and find you. otherwise, he might have been flying to Ohio to look for someone named Gusher.Seattle cornhole was a blast. Good to reconnect with FBGs.I'll resume posting in 6 months once I've caught up on the previous 899 pages.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Overcast today with drizzle here and there. About 64 degrees. Should be like this for a few weeks. I actually love this weather...Better up in the NW than stuck in Southern Cal traffic eating smog for hours...while extravagant, this vehicle would be quite the treat while rolling down the coast of Oregon about a month ago. Has the weather turned yet? The wife said the rain was just around the corner a few days ago.Cosjobs is driving a convertible Camero.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Oh and Cal is selling popcorn for the Boy Scouts. It's like $45 for 20 ounces or something. For that price I'm assuming its served on Sofia Vergara's ###.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Frostillicus
Footballguy
How would she rate as a Pop Culture Sex Symbol is one was participating in a Pop Culture Draft?
McJose
Footballguy
Don't drag me into that goat-screw.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Some classic Timchooch in there.
Me too, it is home. Bad time to upgrade to the convertible though. Thanks for the positive sentiment from the likes of Doc, Pack, and GM. All of the regular posters here are pretty outstanding in my book. Great entertainment as usual.Overcast today with drizzle here and there. About 64 degrees. Should be like this for a few weeks. I actually love this weather...Better up in the NW than stuck in Southern Cal traffic eating smog for hours...while extravagant, this vehicle would be quite the treat while rolling down the coast of Oregon about a month ago. Has the weather turned yet? The wife said the rain was just around the corner a few days ago.Cosjobs is driving a convertible Camero.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Yeah this will probably shock you guys, but somehow they've made it unfun.
General Malaise
Footballguy
what am i not missing out on?
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Just punch yourself in the nuts six or seven times and you're caught up.
Osaurus
Footballguy
Awesome place!
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
You gave it money. Sounds like you're the problem here.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Way to read.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Want to trade? My personal life is aces but my professional life is a disaster. My boss actually called me other day to talk me out of quitting for a gig in a library. No shtick. It's not the classrooms. Those are a riot. It's everything else. So let's trade. I'll take some professional gold for a single-drunk-down-on-his-luck-with-sex-life for a week.'-fish- said:
-fish-
Footballguy
My personal life just invaded my professional life.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Congrats to Cal!'St. Louis Bob said:In no particular order-
Cal was named Student Of The Week, I'm pretty sure this was a peace offering for not making the Computer Club before I was able to get them to start another one.
I was at a client's picnic Saturday where I finally saw this gal a GB has been telling me about for a month or so. She's married but is a dirty, filthy slut that has banged at least 4 guys that he knows. Holy crap. She is gorgeous. Mid 20's, about 5'10 and has this really pretty girl next door look. I would say a 9 on my scale, 7 on the Offdee. Given the fact that she is a DFS makes her a 14 on my scale. I have to say I haven't stopped thinking about her.
For the first time in my life I have no desire to attend a Ram's game. I might just torch the rest of my tickets.
Speaking of the Rams, we had a scammer approach us at the tailgate yesterday:
Scammer: Hi! I'm collecting money to help get kids out of gangs. (Shows us a folder and an ID)
Cousin: We just gave money to some gal (pulling the same scam) a minute ago.
Scammer: Oh, yeah, that's the Junior Division, I'm the Senior Division.
Me:
Scammer: No, it's true. I've found Jesus. He's our Lord and Savior you know?
Me: Let me see your paper work. (Opens the folder to reveal a single piece of paper that looks to be some "official document" and a State ID) Where does it say Senior Division?
Scammer: It doesn't.
Me: I thought you said you were in the Senior Division?
Scammer: I am.
Me: But it doesn't say that....
Scammer: No, but look (points to the ID) that's me on drugs.
Me: That's Snoop Dog.
Scammer: No, that me on drugs.
Me: Snoop Dog is on drugs.
Scammer: That's not Snoop Dog!
Me: (holds ID up to his parallel up to his head) No way this is you. SNOOP DOGGY DOG IS IN THE MOTHER####ING HOUSE!!
Scammer: I don't do drugs, I've found Jesus.
Me: What's your favorite bible verse?
Scammer: He who believes in me....valley of death...and helps all of the poor shall be welcomed into the Kingdom Of Heaven!!
Me: Ah, Cornithians 34:12
Scammer: Yes
Me: (Trying not to laugh) What's your second favorite bible verse?
Scammer: Um, that's a tough one.....
Me: We have a lot pork tenderloin left, how about a sandwich?
Scammer: (Points in a general direction) Those people fed me God bless them.
Me: Gangbangers don't get hungry?
Scammer: So, um, sir, can you help me out?
Me: I'm kind of stoned right now. It sounds like you don't want my money.
Scammer: I've found Jesus.
Me: Here's 5 dollars, get out of here.
My Aunt died Thursday night, I think this is about my 15th wake this year.
FREE TUFNEL & ZOOKS!!!!
The scammer won. 
Sorry for your loss. :(
dharmapunk
Footballguy
'St. Louis Bob said:
:hipple:
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Ooof. T & P, my friend.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
I went to public school.'St. Louis Bob said:
I am Cal's future.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
I have 75 student memoirs to grade in 12 days. An excruciating 5 pages each. Which is why I'm surfing the web, playing Civilization, and waiting for the Yankees game to start.
Also -
I just attacked the wife in the kitchen. With her pressed against the pantry door and me kissing her neck, she says, "wow, you smell amazing."
Me: "I know."
This prompted a shove and sharp jab to the gut.
The lesson here?
The ultracool "I know" line only works when you're about to be frozen in carbonate.
Also -
I just attacked the wife in the kitchen. With her pressed against the pantry door and me kissing her neck, she says, "wow, you smell amazing."
Me: "I know."
This prompted a shove and sharp jab to the gut.
The lesson here?
The ultracool "I know" line only works when you're about to be frozen in carbonate.
Tecumseh
Footballguy
I'll give you the Cliff's Notes: black silk sheets, pull-out method, Jackson Pollack
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dharmapunk
Footballguy
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
OK. Someone tell me why I need to give this much of a damn about breast cancer.
Cancer sucks. I just think cancers that don't have a 90% survival rate need a much bigger microscope.
Can someone slap me with perspective here?
Cancer sucks. I just think cancers that don't have a 90% survival rate need a much bigger microscope.
Can someone slap me with perspective here?
McJose
Footballguy
Boobs are cool.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Yes.
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Agreed.I'm assuming I'm missing something here, and I'm coming off like a jackass, but I really want to know.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Really though it's marketing, and boobs are easy to market because boobs are cool. Seriously, just throw out a slogan like save the boobs or something and people will jump to throw money at it because boobs are cool.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Who's a good obnoxious celebrity that epitomizes pop culture?
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Andy ****.ETA:
Rupe Hall
Carrot Top
Courtney Love
Love is the best that epitomizes pop culture. Rock star who branched out to movies. Married a tragic uber celebrity icon who killed himself. Shagged other rock stars (Trent Reznor, among others). Had some truly epic obnoxious moments, like the time Madonna was being interviewed by Kurt Loder live on MTV, and Love appears randomly out of the crowd ####FACED, climbs on stage, and proceeds to hijack the interview. She's perfect.
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krista4
Footballguy
Going old school...Howard Cosell.
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Good one too.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Nice.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Snookie
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Another great one. And I've never seen a single episode of Jersey Shore. She's come to symbolize everything that's obnoxious and annoying about America.
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