GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

[General Malaise]

Tucker and Dale v Evil may have just become my favorite movie

Looks really good. Tried to get GM to go see it in Portland, but he was more comfortable declining and then making fun of me about it later.

Oh I don't care if the ghost of Gene Siskel popped out of the sky and gave this two thumbs and a rigormortised johnson up for this movie, there is no way in hell I'd sit through anything called "Trucker and Dale v Evil". Has nothing to do with you.Is everybody on the rag this week or something? What's with all the sensitivity up in here? I thought I had the sensitive shtick market covered?

Clearly you do.

oh okay.

 

[General Malaise]

Flight from Cin to Cle in a prop going thru rain clouds the whole way? Sweet.

2 hour delay in Cle? Awesome.

Nowhere to wtach the game? Cool.

Wifi not working? #### yea!

Too drunk to work? Yep.

Left my novel at home? ####.

Calling it a book down?

"novel"

Maybe he's writing it, you guys!

The Old Man and the Sandwich - by Jay Sun Shuke

 

[cosjobs]

PS what is the go-to cover story when cornholing? I don't think I want to tell one of my clients that this is my funny friend from the internet.

I've used "we met at church" for dates I met online. People generally get the idea...being that I only go to church when someone dies. Not sure when it's a man/man.

try explaining to people why there's an old hippie you don't know staying at your house.

Now take this, and explain it TO YOUR KIDS!

I thought they liked me

 

[St. Louis Bob]

You're welcome at my house any time Cos.

 

[cosjobs]

Flight from Cin to Cle in a prop going thru rain clouds the whole way? Sweet.

2 hour delay in Cle? Awesome.

Nowhere to wtach the game? Cool.

Wifi not working? #### yea!

Too drunk to work? Yep.

Left my novel at home? ####.

Calling it a book down?

"novel"

Maybe he's writing it, you guys!

Clearly he was conveying to us that he was taking a break from non-fiction.

 

[cosjobs]

You're welcome at my house any time Cos.

 

[General Malaise]

PS what is the go-to cover story when cornholing? I don't think I want to tell one of my clients that this is my funny friend from the internet.

I've used "we met at church" for dates I met online. People generally get the idea...being that I only go to church when someone dies. Not sure when it's a man/man.

try explaining to people why there's an old hippie you don't know staying at your house.

Now take this, and explain it TO YOUR KIDS!

I thought they liked me

They did. My wife loved you. I love you. Rover loves you. If I crack a joke at your expense, it isn't because I don't think you are the bees knees...you are. I'm just going to go home and cut myself...

 

[-fish-]

PS what is the go-to cover story when cornholing? I don't think I want to tell one of my clients that this is my funny friend from the internet.

I've used "we met at church" for dates I met online. People generally get the idea...being that I only go to church when someone dies. Not sure when it's a man/man.

try explaining to people why there's an old hippie you don't know staying at your house.

Now take this, and explain it TO YOUR KIDS!

I thought they liked me

They did. My wife loved you. I love you. Rover loves you. If I crack a joke at your expense, it isn't because I don't think you are the bees knees...you are. I'm just going to go home and cut myself...

you know what you need? a really funny movie to watch. I'd go with Tucker and Dale v. Evil.

 

[mr. furley]

Does that GI Joe character I look like ever wear fatigues? Looking for an easy Halloween costume...

YesAlthough I always thought Furley was more old school GI Joe looking.

i'm available for a consult if you need it, gb. i haven't worn fatigues in my life. more of a Levi's and track jackets kinda guy when it's cooler out.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Seriously Keys, don't move out. Hang in there GB.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Agree on the not moving out thing. Don't see any benefit there, but a lot lot of potential downside. It's just a couple of more days. Hell, invite the guys over for poker or something...make HER uncomfortable.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Flight from Cin to Cle in a prop going thru rain clouds the whole way? Sweet.

2 hour delay in Cle? Awesome.

Nowhere to wtach the game? Cool.

Wifi not working? #### yea!

Too drunk to work? Yep.

Left my novel at home? ####.

Calling it a book down?

"novel"

Maybe he's writing it, you guys!

The Old Man and the Sandwich - by Jay Sun Shuke

 

[Disco Stu]

lol

 

[proninja]

I think I found a woman for Woz

 

[dharmapunk]

Don't know where else to talk about this, so here it goes GMTAN -

In one of my classes, my students' first papers are memoirs. I just read one from a black girl. She's by turns incredibly focused, talkative, and intelligent...then sleeps through the next class or inexplicably gets up and leaves halfway through.

I just read her memoir and I can't decide if it's BS or not.

She claims to have gotten pregnant at 17 with twins. The father was a good guy who had a full ride to NYU. One night they end up at some old high school friend's house and the end result is he gets killed, she stabs one person to death, shoots another twice in the head then empties the clip into his body, then she throws a knife at the last person, hits him, and watches as he falls down a staircase to die as well. So she killed three people and watched her BF get murdered. Then, to top it all off, she has a stress miscarriage and loses the twins.



How the hell do you grade something like that?

ETA: I forgot to mention the murders were kinda self-defense. These people broke into the house. They brought the gun she eventually used to shoot one of them. And since she's in my class, I imagine the courts agreed with that. She doesn't mention serving any time. Just being mentally unstable for awhile.

Really?

Yea that's the part that made me really wonder. That and her killing three people like she's Charlie Effing Bronson. The more I think about it, the more it's got to be total BS.

 

[General Malaise]

Don't know where else to talk about this, so here it goes GMTAN -

In one of my classes, my students' first papers are memoirs. I just read one from a black girl. She's by turns incredibly focused, talkative, and intelligent...then sleeps through the next class or inexplicably gets up and leaves halfway through.

I just read her memoir and I can't decide if it's BS or not.

She claims to have gotten pregnant at 17 with twins. The father was a good guy who had a full ride to NYU. One night they end up at some old high school friend's house and the end result is he gets killed, she stabs one person to death, shoots another twice in the head then empties the clip into his body, then she throws a knife at the last person, hits him, and watches as he falls down a staircase to die as well. So she killed three people and watched her BF get murdered. Then, to top it all off, she has a stress miscarriage and loses the twins.



How the hell do you grade something like that?

ETA: I forgot to mention the murders were kinda self-defense. These people broke into the house. They brought the gun she eventually used to shoot one of them. And since she's in my class, I imagine the courts agreed with that. She doesn't mention serving any time. Just being mentally unstable for awhile.

Really?

Yea that's the part that made me really wonder. That and her killing three people like she's Charlie Effing Bronson. The more I think about it, the more it's got to be total BS.

Wouldn't that have at least made some newspapers or trend on yahoo or something? Google? Four murders go down in Oregon - three at the hands of a pregnant teen - and it's headline news for a decade. Our lead story is almost always weather related.

 

[General Malaise]

Anybody else catch the George Harrison documentary by Martin Scorsese on HBO "Living in the Material World"? Thought it was exceptional and a very good walk down the history of The Beatles, as well as an outstanding peek behind the curtain of what it was like to be around that band during the 60's and 70's and later in the 80's when he did his own things.

I was actually so impressed I downloaded "The Concert for Bangladesh", which Harrison put on in NYC with all money going towards the impoverished nation. Phil Spector produced the album and it won a Grammy. I'd never in my life heard of it, I'm ashamed to say. But damn...it's good.

 

[Early_10]

Flight from Cin to Cle in a prop going thru rain clouds the whole way? Sweet.

2 hour delay in Cle? Awesome.

Nowhere to wtach the game? Cool.

Wifi not working? #### yea!

Too drunk to work? Yep.

Left my novel at home? ####.

Calling it a book down?

"novel"

Maybe he's writing it, you guys!

The Old Man and the Sandwich - by Jay Sun Shuke

 

[General Malaise]

I enjoyed going to the strip club with MexiJoe. My favorite parts were asking him to take a picture of the salad bar and throwing a burnt steak back to the kitchen like I was the chef from Hell's Kitchen. Thank god MexiJoe was there to protect my dumbasss from a beat down.

Also enjoyed hanging out at Phipps with Jeep and the gang...talking to strippers and teller them we were 'from the internet'. "Hey Jeep, go on...tell her we're from the Internet!"

Jeep: "I have no idea who this guy is".

 

[SofaKings]

Got stuck working in the special ed room today. Two black kids are yelling and arguing with the white kid. White kid leaves to "go pace". I ask the black kid "what is up with that" and he responds "##### has to walk when he gets angry".

 

[-fish-]

spoke too soon. too many texts today, and she wants to see me again tonight. no way in hell that's happening.

 

[Tribulation]

Flight from Cin to Cle in a prop going thru rain clouds the whole way? Sweet.

2 hour delay in Cle? Awesome.

Nowhere to wtach the game? Cool.

Wifi not working? #### yea!

Too drunk to work? Yep.

Left my novel at home? ####.

Calling it a book down?

"novel"

Maybe he's writing it, you guys!

Maybe

 

[Osaurus]

spoke too soon. too many texts today, and she wants to see me again tonight. no way in hell that's happening.

Make this Friday a great one!!!

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

spoke too soon. too many texts today, and she wants to see me again tonight. no way in hell that's happening.

Take a pic of your fist and send it to her.

 

[Sarnoff]

spoke too soon. too many texts today, and she wants to see me again tonight. no way in hell that's happening.

Take a pic of your fist and send it to her.

She'd definitely think he wants to see her tonight then.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

One of the few benefits of working late is the opportunity to take the first poop after the janitor has cleaned the toilet. Not only do you get the satisfaction of knowing the seat is pristine, but afterwards, the logs, floating partially submerged in the water cloudy with cleanser, look like mini Nessies in a misty Loch Ness.

 

[-fish-]

 

[Steve Tasker]

One of the few benefits of working late is the opportunity to take the first poop after the janitor has cleaned the toilet. Not only do you get the satisfaction of knowing the seat is pristine, but afterwards, the logs, floating partially submerged in the water cloudy with cleanser, look like mini Nessies in a misty Loch Ness.

Well said.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Fish should text TU's post to knuckles and see what happens.

 

[krista4]

Got stuck working in the special ed room today. Two black kids are yelling and arguing with the white kid. White kid leaves to "go pace". I ask the black kid "what is up with that" and he responds "##### has to walk when he gets angry".

I don't know why I find this so funny.Keys, sorry about your situation. Is this the same one that you were engaged to before and also moved into a hotel for a period of time after the other breakup, or a remarkably similar circumstance with an equally crazy one? In either case it sounds irretrievably broken and I hope you can end it as amicably as possible. :(

 

[Gadzooks]

Good luck to you Keys..It will get better. Post updates here.Unrelated but related, howd the family chat go Bogart?

It went just like I thought it would. The 3 year old had no clue, and I didn't expect her to, but it was important that she was there. The 7 year old knew what divorce meant ("it means seperation") which I was a bit shocked by, but shouldn't be. He really didn't seemed all that concerned, he just wanted to get back to his DVD show. When I told him I would see him often (scouts, baseball, etc) and every other weekend we would go and visit Grandma and Grandpa for the whole weekend, he really liked that idea.The wife and I both stressed that we both loved him very much and that we just didn't want to be married anymore, so I was going to live somewhere else, just like other family that still loves him very much. My son really made it easy on everyone and was super cool. I know the emotions come later when reality sinks in.I could tell my wife really wanted some kind of Lifetime Movie scene where everyone breaks down and there is tons of drama, and when that didn't happen, I could tell she was disappointed. She spent the next hour outside on the phone while I watched Rangers/Cards and rocked my daughter to sleep.I move out on Friday.

Good luck Bogs. My son was 2 when my unfaithful wife and I divorced. We tried to have the talk with him but obviously being 2 years old he had no clue. Every once in a while he will say something to me about how his cousin's mommy and daddy live together, but that his (my son's) mommy and daddy don't live together. But then he'll do an arm-pit fart and laugh and then talk about something else. I'm sure I'll be having a more in depth conversation with him down the road and I'm not really looking forward to it. Anyways, good luck with everything and always remember to put your kids first and think about how anything you might say or do will effect them.

 

[Gadzooks]

One of the few benefits of working late is the opportunity to take the first poop after the janitor has cleaned the toilet. Not only do you get the satisfaction of knowing the seat is pristine, but afterwards, the logs, floating partially submerged in the water cloudy with cleanser, look like mini Nessies in a misty Loch Ness.

This is why Steve Jobs or Al Gore or Shuke invented cell phones. Take a pic of these Nessies and forward it on to me.

 

[Dungeon Master]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

 

[Gadzooks]

Flight from Cin to Cle in a prop going thru rain clouds the whole way? Sweet. 2 hour delay in Cle? Awesome. Nowhere to wtach the game? Cool. Wifi not working? #### yea! Too drunk to work? Yep. Left my novel at home? ####.

Calling it a book down?

"novel"

 

[Tribulation]

Good luck to you Keys..It will get better. Post updates here.Unrelated but related, howd the family chat go Bogart?

It went just like I thought it would. The 3 year old had no clue, and I didn't expect her to, but it was important that she was there. The 7 year old knew what divorce meant ("it means seperation") which I was a bit shocked by, but shouldn't be. He really didn't seemed all that concerned, he just wanted to get back to his DVD show. When I told him I would see him often (scouts, baseball, etc) and every other weekend we would go and visit Grandma and Grandpa for the whole weekend, he really liked that idea.The wife and I both stressed that we both loved him very much and that we just didn't want to be married anymore, so I was going to live somewhere else, just like other family that still loves him very much. My son really made it easy on everyone and was super cool. I know the emotions come later when reality sinks in.I could tell my wife really wanted some kind of Lifetime Movie scene where everyone breaks down and there is tons of drama, and when that didn't happen, I could tell she was disappointed. She spent the next hour outside on the phone while I watched Rangers/Cards and rocked my daughter to sleep.I move out on Friday.

Good luck Bogs. My son was 2 when my unfaithful wife and I divorced. We tried to have the talk with him but obviously being 2 years old he had no clue. Every once in a while he will say something to me about how his cousin's mommy and daddy live together, but that his (my son's) mommy and daddy don't live together. But then he'll do an arm-pit fart and laugh and then talk about something else. I'm sure I'll be having a more in depth conversation with him down the road and I'm not really looking forward to it. Anyways, good luck with everything and always remember to put your kids first and think about how anything you might say or do will effect them.

I separated when my son was 2 years, 3 months. He's almost lived half his life now with us this way, and he shows no memory of us living together. It was actually on my mind at the time that his age might be a blessing insofar as it's less traumatic, and it's turned out that way. Still, it pretty much tore my heart out when he cheerfully said for the first time a short while later "[His name] has two homes!" This stuff sucks.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

30-pack?

 

[Guster]

I gotta say, it's a little concerning that I know few if any happy guys who are engaged or recently married. The friend whose wedding was my fiance and I's real first like date 2 years ago has already left his wife . . . .

If my notebook is accurate, there's no way you should be marrying this woman.

96% of the crazy was related to me saying I was not moving from my location/job after pretty much saying I'd be willing to. Since then she has moved across the state and our living situation has been good to go.

Mr YSR?

 

[Dungeon Master]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

30-pack?

$11.99. How could I say no?

 

[Thorn]

Keys>Sorry to hear GB. I thought this was resolved a long time ago. I assume The Scare™ was just that...a scare?

I don't remember a pregnancy scare with this one. Maybe I'm blocking it out.And thanks.

Superior notebooking.

 

[Guster]

Keys>Sorry to hear GB. I thought this was resolved a long time ago. I assume The Scare™ was just that...a scare?

I don't remember a pregnancy scare with this one. Maybe I'm blocking it out.And thanks.

Superior notebooking.

Pickles will be proud

 

[dharmapunk]

spoke too soon. too many texts today, and she wants to see me again tonight. no way in hell that's happening.

Take a pic of your fist and send it to her.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

30-pack?

$11.99. How could I say no?

Can I come over?

 

[Dungeon Master]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

30-pack?

$11.99. How could I say no?

Can I come over?

No

 

[-fish-]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

30-pack?

$11.99. How could I say no?

Can I come over?

No

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

30-pack?

$11.99. How could I say no?

Can I come over?

No

Can I pee in your driveway?

 

[Dungeon Master]

I'm not sure Hamm's was the best idea.

30-pack?

$11.99. How could I say no?

Can I come over?

No

Can I pee in your driveway?

Yeah alright.

 

[Dungeon Master]

FYI - Cosjobs and Roverfish, mailings are on their way. T-Upside I'm still working on yours.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

FYI - Cosjobs and Roverfish, mailings are on their way. T-Upside I'm still working on yours.

I was disappointed there was no gift bag at our cornhole.

 

[Dungeon Master]

FYI - Cosjobs and Roverfish, mailings are on their way. T-Upside I'm still working on yours.

I was disappointed there was no gift bag at our cornhole.

I didn't know I was going to be there until I was driving home from work.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I don't know #### about dog food, but I love to look up fancy kinds on the interwebs and then order them with amazon prime. Went with this stuff.