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GM's thread about nothing (37 Viewers)

Homer J deflowered the teenage virgin last night. :pickle: :pickle:

Although apparently she had a stupid friggin birthday at some point recently and is no longer a teenager. :kicksrock: Oh well, 37 vs 20 is still pretty good...plus, I think she has a younger sister, so there's still a chance at the whole teenager thing.

 
Up 16 pts with NE Defense vs. Dwayne Bowe tonight. If I lose, I'm all but eliminated from playoff contention.

WHAT DO YOU NEED TONIGHT?

 
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Some water filtration business left a plastic bag with a 2 oz plastic bottle at my door today saying they were testing the neighborhood water and asking for my name, age, income level, etc, etc.., and to fill the bottle with tap water from the kitchen sink and leave it to be collected tomorrow. This pretty much means I have to pee in the bottle, right?
I've got an idea :excited:
 
Homer J deflowered the teenage virgin last night. :pickle: :pickle:Although apparently she had a stupid friggin birthday at some point recently and is no longer a teenager. :kicksrock: Oh well, 37 vs 20 is still pretty good...plus, I think she has a younger sister, so there's still a chance at the whole teenager thing.
:eek: I didn't know there were virgins in Ohio. All the girls I knew seemed to be born with a Mickey's Big Mouth in their hand, pulling away on a human pacifier.
Some water filtration business left a plastic bag with a 2 oz plastic bottle at my door today saying they were testing the neighborhood water and asking for my name, age, income level, etc, etc.., and to fill the bottle with tap water from the kitchen sink and leave it to be collected tomorrow. This pretty much means I have to pee in the bottle, right?
I've got an idea :excited:
:lmao:
 
Some water filtration business left a plastic bag with a 2 oz plastic bottle at my door today saying they were testing the neighborhood water and asking for my name, age, income level, etc, etc.., and to fill the bottle with tap water from the kitchen sink and leave it to be collected tomorrow. This pretty much means I have to pee in the bottle, right?
I've got an idea :excited:
Is it to give them tap water and then call them 100 times a day for test results? :softball:
 
Just talked to my doctor, and I do have a hernia. Meeting with the surgeon on the 1st of Dec. I guess I should be glad the CT Scan showed the hernia and not ball cancer or something else.

 
I'm going to break my P90X diet and have a calzone for lunch. Just FYI.
What is the P90X diet like?
It's not terrible. It's a basic high protein/ high vegetable, low carb type diet. Depending on your starting weight, you're in Level I, II, or III and that dictates how many calories you get in a day. There are also three phases (one month each) to the program. Phase One is Fat Shredder, Phase Two is Energy Booster and Phase Three is Endurance Maximizer. They have some pretty good guides to help with your level/phase and provide you with some recipes to help you stick with the diet. I've just been doing it for a couple of weeks now and I want to cheat. Big time. So I am. (today is also plyometrics day, for anyone who knows what that means, so all told I'll break even at the end of the day)
They start to phase carbs back in when you hit the last two phases. Of course, then you'll miss the dairy you're no longer allowed to eat. I agree, though. It's really not that bad. Any diet where I find it impossible to hit the suggested number of calories in a day is alright by me.
 
Showing Blue Velvet in class today. Can't wait for the look on their faces when Hopper starts humping Rosselini, screaming "DADDY'S COMING HOME!"

Yea. I know. I have issues.

 
Showing Blue Velvet in class today. Can't wait for the look on their faces when Hopper starts humping Rosselini, screaming "DADDY'S COMING HOME!"

Yea. I know. I have issues.
You should have borrowed an oxygen mask from the nursing school and walked in with it today.
 
Thanks for the e-mails, texts, dirty pictures (YSR/Krista)etc. I appreciate it.

First off, I haven't been arrested, incarcerated, audited or deported. I also don't have some sort of fatal disease that I'm aware of. Just a lot of stuff going on lately and believe it or not, I don't share every facet of my life with you guys here. That isn't to say I don't trust or love you guys, it just wouldn't be prudent to make it that public.

So I figure I owe you some sort of an explanation. Part of the recent "weirdness" is with Cal. Remember how I wrote about his IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago and how everything was going great until about that time? Well, it turns out that his bad day, after bad day at school was directly related to him being bullied. By a bunch of kids. Cal loves two things right now, computers and math. He loves talking about them and will do so ad nauseam if you let him. So some of the bigger kids decided to tell him they were hacking our computer, and my parents computer and stealing all of our money, posing as scammers and stealing our friends money too. They also like to ask him math questions way out of his grade level, (what's 1234*5678?) just to frustrate him. Then when he couldn't answer they taunted him by calling him stupid. Then a bunch of others began piling on. It started on the bus to school, continued all day, and finished on the bus on the way home. Day, after, day. Turns out there is a "Jenny" in his class that sticks up for Cal when the rest of the other kids pick on him, sort of a Forrest GMump kind of thing. To Cal's credit, he never ratted them out but I felt terrible that he was sucking it up and didn't come to me. So I eventually found out what was going on when Jenny finally went to a teacher about the same time Cal was pushed too far and threatened to "get a shotgun and kill all of you". Yeah. YEAH. I have a gun but Cal doesn't even know that. I don't hunt, or talk about guns. None of my family or friends that have been around Cal don't hunt or talk about guns. He doesn't play violent video games (he prefers coolmath-games.com) and he couldn't tell me where he learned to say something like that. The principal and his teachers were actually very understanding and made the main 6 culprits apologize to him. After I got home that night and put the fear of Bob into him for making such a terrible threat, I sat him down and talked to him about what was going on at school. Having your 7 year old son crying in your arms, from pure despair, because "nobody likes me, everybody thinks I'm a weirdo and stupid" was heartbreaking. And by "heartbreaking" I mean the coldest depths of hell. I told him the only thing I could think of. That I would make it right. That if he would trust me & be honest with me, I would make him feel happy again. He agreed and the rest of the school week went much better for him. I've gotten some looks from some of the other parents in the neighborhood however. I've had some conversations, initiated by them too. They were mostly apologetic and I just replied with "kids man, everything will be fine". The looks, and lack of, are another thing though. There are some daggers for sure. I however cannot be intimidated, and you seriously don't want to #### with me and you certainly don't want to #### with my kids. It should be interesting.

Oh yeah, I got some free new carpet installed in my basement Saturday. The rug, glue, & installers just fell off the truck. Crazy. Nothing fancy, I just wanted to put a play area in part of the basement for the kids. pic pic

I also talked my GB's into skipping the Rams game yesterday and just going to the casino instead. Dropped a grand and got wasted. I'm also going to spend a silly amount of money of getting some landscaping done. I'm on tilt.

So anyway, that's part of it. I'll probably be doing some hyperhippling later.

 
Good luck with all that Bob. What does all this mean though

I've gotten some looks from some of the other parents in the neighborhood however. I've had some conversations, initiated by them too. They were mostly apologetic and I just replied with "kids man, everything will be fine". The looks, and lack of, are another thing though. There are some daggers for sure. I however cannot be intimidated, and you seriously don't want to #### with me and you certainly don't want to #### with my kids. It should be interesting.
 
Thanks for the e-mails, texts, dirty pictures (YSR/Krista)etc. I appreciate it.

First off, I haven't been arrested, incarcerated, audited or deported. I also don't have some sort of fatal disease that I'm aware of. Just a lot of stuff going on lately and believe it or not, I don't share every facet of my life with you guys here. That isn't to say I don't trust or love you guys, it just wouldn't be prudent to make it that public.

So I figure I owe you some sort of an explanation. Part of the recent "weirdness" is with Cal. Remember how I wrote about his IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago and how everything was going great until about that time? Well, it turns out that his bad day, after bad day at school was directly related to him being bullied. By a bunch of kids. Cal loves two things right now, computers and math. He loves talking about them and will do so ad nauseam if you let him. So some of the bigger kids decided to tell him they were hacking our computer, and my parents computer and stealing all of our money, posing as scammers and stealing our friends money too. They also like to ask him math questions way out of his grade level, (what's 1234*5678?) just to frustrate him. Then when he couldn't answer they taunted him by calling him stupid. Then a bunch of others began piling on. It started on the bus to school, continued all day, and finished on the bus on the way home. Day, after, day. Turns out there is a "Jenny" in his class that sticks up for Cal when the rest of the other kids pick on him, sort of a Forrest GMump kind of thing. To Cal's credit, he never ratted them out but I felt terrible that he was sucking it up and didn't come to me. So I eventually found out what was going on when Jenny finally went to a teacher about the same time Cal was pushed too far and threatened to "get a shotgun and kill all of you". Yeah. YEAH. I have a gun but Cal doesn't even know that. I don't hunt, or talk about guns. None of my family or friends that have been around Cal don't hunt or talk about guns. He doesn't play violent video games (he prefers coolmath-games.com) and he couldn't tell me where he learned to say something like that. The principal and his teachers were actually very understanding and made the main 6 culprits apologize to him. After I got home that night and put the fear of Bob into him for making such a terrible threat, I sat him down and talked to him about what was going on at school. Having your 7 year old son crying in your arms, from pure despair, because "nobody likes me, everybody thinks I'm a weirdo and stupid" was heartbreaking. And by "heartbreaking" I mean the coldest depths of hell. I told him the only thing I could think of. That I would make it right. That if he would trust me & be honest with me, I would make him feel happy again. He agreed and the rest of the school week went much better for him. I've gotten some looks from some of the other parents in the neighborhood however. I've had some conversations, initiated by them too. They were mostly apologetic and I just replied with "kids man, everything will be fine". The looks, and lack of, are another thing though. There are some daggers for sure. I however cannot be intimidated, and you seriously don't want to #### with me and you certainly don't want to #### with my kids. It should be interesting.

Oh yeah, I got some free new carpet installed in my basement Saturday. The rug, glue, & installers just fell off the truck. Crazy. Nothing fancy, I just wanted to put a play area in part of the basement for the kids. pic pic

I also talked my GB's into skipping the Rams game yesterday and just going to the casino instead. Dropped a grand and got wasted. I'm also going to spend a silly amount of money of getting some landscaping done. I'm on tilt.

So anyway, that's part of it. I'll probably be doing some hyperhippling later.
Effin' kids. Give 'em hell, GB. glllll Cal.Also reminds me I need to watch what I say around my daughter. During a moment of frustration this weekend, I told the puppy if she bit me "there" she was going to get buried up to her neck in the desert. Pretty sure the five year-old was behind me at the time. :unsure:

 
Good luck with all that Bob.

What does all this mean though

I've gotten some looks from some of the other parents in the neighborhood however. I've had some conversations, initiated by them too. They were mostly apologetic and I just replied with "kids man, everything will be fine". The looks, and lack of, are another thing though. There are some daggers for sure. I however cannot be intimidated, and you seriously don't want to #### with me and you certainly don't want to #### with my kids. It should be interesting.
A couple of the parents told me at the bus stop they were sorry for their kids behavior and they talked to them. However the "apologies" seemed to be more rooted in fear. I'm a new guy to the neighborhood, I wear sweatsuits a lot and I don't seem to have job..... A couple of the other parents have given me "that look". You know "that look" from tough drunk guy at the bar who is pissed because you just banged his gal in the dumpster in the back alley. Others have stopped waving to me when they drive by.And thanks guys. I'm not sure how awesome I am as a dad but I do try my best.

Oh yeah, I also found out over the weekend my cousin is banging Evan Peters from American Horror Story. She is one of the twins that I mentioned some time ago. He is going to be in town for Thanksgiving. I think I'm going to get a cat shirt pic with him. :thumbup:

 
ive been a dad for 3 weeks now, so i basically know nothing. but, being the glass half full guy that i am, id like to think Cal is learning some good life lessons right now. not saying being bullied is a good thing, but a little adversity in his life will make him a stronger man down the road.

or im a ####### and dont know what im talking about.

 
I'm taking off early today, and then traveling for Thanksgiving. Just in case I don't get a chance later, thoprawishes for a happy Thanksgiving.

The connections in this weird little community are amazing and inexplicable. For those of you going through a tough time, know that you have friends here. Although this thread didn't exist at the time, the denizens here got me through the hardest Christmas of my life a few years back. I sincerely hope that all of you, your family and friends have a peaceful holiday filled with love and laughter.

As for me, I'm going to Disneyland with my ex-wife, daughter, niece, ex-sister-in-law, and her two kids. Good chance I slit my wrists on It's a Small World.

 

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