GM's thread about nothing (27 Viewers)

[mr. furley]

My 2 year old's favorite word right now is "monkey." She says it all the time. She calls anyone and everyone "MONKEY!!!!" and laughs hysterically.

I'm terrified she's going to call some black person a monkey. I know it's coming, but there's nothing I can do. I just hope it's not some huge jacked up dude that takes offense.

my daughter sorta did this to a restaurant ownersoul food place next to an art gallery. outside the gallery is a gorilla head statue. she just calls it a monkey.

when she was around 18 months we went to this place for lunch. the whole time she's antsy cause she wants to see the monkey. we can understand her but she's 18 months so it's hit or miss whether other people can get everything.

the restaurant owner loves us. loves the kids.

daughter walks up to him as we're leaving saying "i want to see the monkey! the monkey!" pointing at him. which sounds like "arblegarble MONKEY! blarrrgh MONKEY!"

he looked cross at her, then us, and turned to walk away. :( then i explained to him that she wanted to see the gorilla statue next door! and she was only pointing to let him know that she was talking to him.

him: (deeeeeeeeep breath. exhale.) phew.. i knew that! i knew it!

VERY awkward moment

 

[kevzilla]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

 

[El Floppo]

warning: Kvelling parent disclaimer..

So here in NYC, kids have to take a test to get into private schools- starting at the age of 4! It's called the ERB and in applying to a new private school for Kindergarten (to cover our bases), we were forced to have 4 yo Floppolinho take the damned thing. It's an hour of cognitive and developmental abilities administered one on one with only the kid. I have no idea what the could possibly

Our son's test giver showed up an hour ####### late- forcing our kid to just hang out in the damn waiting room for that time before jumpng into the actual test. Kudos to my wife for keeping him entertained and sane for that time, but we both assumed the test was going to be a wash as a result and were already planning our protest.

Just got the results today... ...no need for a protest after all; he topped out- 99th percentile in both areas and got some glowing praise in a written evaluation by the administrator of the test. He's pretty much an ##### most of the time, but at least he's got this going for him.If only this was for the gifted and talented test for public schools and not for the privilege of dropping a year's salary on Kindergarten... if he even gets in.

 

[-fish-]

My daughter used to identify kids by the color shirts they were wearing. The yellow girl, the green boy, etc.

Of course, as I'm talking to my neighbor she comes running up and says, "Dad, is it ok if I play with the black boy?"

Not much you can do but hang your head and spit out the lame explanation. Luckily, my neighbor took delight in how mortified I was.

 

[-fish-]

beej giving out dating advice to offdee in the hot blonde in my building thread. unintentional comedy meter is pegged.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

 

[Gadzooks]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

I'm sure it looks fine with your sweatsuits.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Girls of the GMTAN, what do you think? I'm more worried about looking professional. Although the "beard" is coming in pretty thin. Pic to follow.

ETA: link

"Shel Silverstein shows off his collection of fun-size Van Gogh prints."

There's a couple of Monet's in there you heathen.

What's all over your wallpaper?

That would be my fancy basement foundation. SORRY I DON'T HAVE FINISHED BASEMENT FOR MY OFFICE!

So shave right?

How difficult was it to hammer the nails in?

 

[krista4]

Speaking of being plastered in Sin City... one time my buddies were declared "too drunk for Vegas". I'd never known there was such a thing. A bunch of dudes decided to pool their money and hire a town car or limo or whatever to drive them to Vegas from L.A. Stocked up and boozed the whole ride in. When they finally got there, they were too drunk to check in, casino refused to let them use their credit cards until they sobered up. Had to wait outside in the desert sun until they were clear-headed enough to be allowed inside. There's drunk... and then there's "You're not allowed in Las Vegas" drunk.

Jesus, that's impressive.

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

It does make you look professional.A professional Buddhist schooner captain.

 

[krista4]

Found out that I made it to the final two candidates for the job in SC I posted about before Christmas. My sister did not. Pretty excited, but I have a whole day of way more formal interviewing on Wednesday of next week.Moving to SC is so close I can almost taste it. On a completely unrelated note, I rode with my husband to one of his rental houses in the bad part of town at 10:30 last night. HIs tenant claimed that there was a critter in the attic, so he set some traps yesterday afternoon. Sure enough, a possum went after the peanut butter cracker and was rattling around in his trap. We picked the little guy up, named him Tebow, and set him loose in a field near our condo. I had already had my nightly wine, so in retrospect, it's a little surreal.

Congratulations!!!! (on the job thing)

 

[krista4]

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

 

[Ignoramus]

So I'm a twitter twit. Is the most recent tweet "zooks recap is up with new shtick"? Just want to make sure I'm receiving the most up-to-date information here.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Girls of the GMTAN, what do you think? I'm more worried about looking professional. Although the "beard" is coming in pretty thin. Pic to follow.

ETA: link

"Shel Silverstein shows off his collection of fun-size Van Gogh prints."

I've always wondered about the beard with a bald guy look. Seems like black dudes can pull it off, but it only works on white guys if they're bikers.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

I'm sure it looks fine with your sweatsuits.

Oh it does and you better watch your whore mouth.

Girls of the GMTAN, what do you think? I'm more worried about looking professional. Although the "beard" is coming in pretty thin. Pic to follow.

ETA: link

"Shel Silverstein shows off his collection of fun-size Van Gogh prints."

There's a couple of Monet's in there you heathen.

What's all over your wallpaper?

That would be my fancy basement foundation. SORRY I DON'T HAVE FINISHED BASEMENT FOR MY OFFICE!

So shave right?

How difficult was it to hammer the nails in?

Actually, I used these. I used these for heavy stuff like the dart board.A little carpet and some pictures and it isn't bad.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Looks like Missouri to me.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

Here's my GB channelling his inner Tre. Bald with bushy beard. Better pic but with a hat

 

[Bob Sacamano]

So, did the wife make you delete your comment or did your #### step in and take over?

 

[GroveDiesel]

So I was driving behind a car today that had a bumper sticker that said "I am the 99%"

And it really annoyed me. Yeah, you and the other 98.9999999999% of us. And since when is being proud of being less than the best something that we applaud and brag about? Shouldn't we all be trying like heck to become the 1%?

And then I started thinking about how it probably really wasn't even true. The guy was in a business suit and driving a brand new 2012 Toyota Camry. That's not exactly living it up in the 90210, but if you make over $35k a year, that puts you in the 1% globally. So the odds are pretty good that this guy is actually a 1 percenter worldwide.

So stop whining and aim higher you ************.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Here's my GB channelling his inner Tre. Bald with bushy beard. Better pic but with a hat

You're friends with Ryan Fitzpatrick?Can you punch him in the face for me, Rude, and Grove? Thanks.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

It does make you look professional.A professional Buddhist schooner captain.

EXACTLY what I was going for.

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

 

[krista4]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

It does make you look professional.A professional Buddhist schooner captain.

EXACTLY what I was going for.

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

Next time I'll remember to lie!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So, did the wife make you delete your comment or did your #### step in and take over?

She said something about doing things and I made a gut call.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

I have framed prints of some Monet and Basquiat around the house, among others.You don't like it, K4, send me some real art!

I AM THE 99%!@##

 

[krista4]

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

I have framed prints of some Monet and Basquiat around the house, among others.You don't like, K4, send me some real art!

I AM THE 99%!@##

Here's a deal: when we move I undoubtedly won't be able to take a lot of this art with us. I'll give y'all dibs on whatever you want (other than the giant painting from an artist who died about a year ago, causing it to go up about 8x in value). We have a LOT of art.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

It does make you look professional.A professional Buddhist schooner captain.

EXACTLY what I was going for.

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

Next time I'll remember to lie!

You should know this by now. "Oh, yeah. I just thought it would be bigger is all."

"Yes! Yes! You are such an average lover!!!"

I appreciate your honest opinion. It was already about a 90% chance I was going to shave it off Monday morning.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

I have framed prints of some Monet and Basquiat around the house, among others.You don't like, K4, send me some real art!

I AM THE 99%!@##

Here's a deal: when we move I undoubtedly won't be able to take a lot of this art with us. I'll give y'all dibs on whatever you want (other than the giant painting from an artist who died about a year ago, causing it to go up about 8x in value). We have a LOT of art.

I have some really cool(adult size) prints, but stuff most people haven't seen, all over the house. I'll be happy to take some off your hands.

 

[krista4]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

It does make you look professional.A professional Buddhist schooner captain.

EXACTLY what I was going for.

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

Next time I'll remember to lie!

You should know this by now. "Oh, yeah. I just thought it would be bigger is all."

"Yes! Yes! You are such an average lover!!!"

I appreciate your honest opinion. It was already about a 90% chance I was going to shave it off Monday morning.

On the beard, and I swear I'm not kidding about this, my thought was that beards should only be worn by guys that need to hide something. Otherwise they usually detract. You have a very attractive face and don't need it.Honestly those were my thoughts, which I didn't type at first because I don't want Mr. krista getting all weird. ( honey!)

 

[Stoneys]

So I was driving behind a car today that had a bumper sticker that said "I am the 99%"And it really annoyed me. Yeah, you and the other 98.9999999999% of us. And since when is being proud of being less than the best something that we applaud and brag about? Shouldn't we all be trying like heck to become the 1%?And then I started thinking about how it probably really wasn't even true. The guy was in a business suit and driving a brand new 2012 Toyota Camry. That's not exactly living it up in the 90210, but if you make over $35k a year, that puts you in the 1% globally. So the odds are pretty good that this guy is actually a 1 percenter worldwide.So stop whining and aim higher you ************.

World needs ditch diggers too

 

[Tiger Fan]

That's not too bad, Tre. I like how you pissed the pit boss off, though. Good description of the drunk walk...sounds eerily familiar.

But my favorite highlight was teaching us how to play Pai Gow. I never knew. I just always avoided those tables because I thought the game was all in Asian.

Will be working this into my mix now

 

[Osaurus]

"Toughness which leads to power" - Charles Davis

 

[Guster]

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

I have framed prints of some Monet and Basquiat around the house, among others.You don't like, K4, send me some real art!

I AM THE 99%!@##

Here's a deal: when we move I undoubtedly won't be able to take a lot of this art with us. I'll give y'all dibs on whatever you want (other than the giant painting from an artist who died about a year ago, causing it to go up about 8x in value). We have a LOT of art.

SO :in: My walls are sparse enough as is, but most of the art is the ex's and will be leaving at the end of the month/early Feb. I'm sure that by the time you guys end up moving, I'll still be in need of art

 

[Tiger Fan]

So I'm a twitter twit. Is the most recent tweet "zooks recap is up with new shtick"? Just want to make sure I'm receiving the most up-to-date information here.

Yes. None of the content providers are providing content

 

[Gadzooks]

How I defeated SLB and stole the Hot Mrs. SLB: A love story

 

[St. Louis Bob]

SLBob>First of all, how are you?

Second, if the beard was your wife's idea, and she likes it, and you can tolerate it, there's no downside to keeping it. Who knows, it might keep Gadzooks at bay for a while.

My main concern is it doesn't look professional to me. That and it looks better with some growth, but not too much, on my head. It is getting me laid more though.

It does make you look professional.A professional Buddhist schooner captain.

EXACTLY what I was going for.

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

Next time I'll remember to lie!

You should know this by now. "Oh, yeah. I just thought it would be bigger is all."

"Yes! Yes! You are such an average lover!!!"

I appreciate your honest opinion. It was already about a 90% chance I was going to shave it off Monday morning.

On the beard, and I swear I'm not kidding about this, my thought was that beards should only be worn by guys that need to hide something. Otherwise they usually detract. You have a very attractive face and don't need it.Honestly those were my thoughts, which I didn't type at first because I don't want Mr. krista getting all weird. ( honey!)

 

[St. Louis Bob]

How I defeated SLB and stole the Hot Mrs. SLB: A love story

at the tabs too

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Pai Gow sucks. Lost $200 in like 30 minutes when I learned how to play.

 

[Osaurus]

I don't gamble at all. Am I missing something?

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

I don't gamble at all. Am I missing something?

Debt?

 

[Osaurus]

I don't gamble at all. Am I missing something?

Debt?

No...I have that

 

[cosjobs]

I don't understand. Apart from the filth and the crime, what's wrong with Cahokia?

Does this have something to do with Trucks FB post?

Yes?

No idea where or why that FB post was coming from.

I don't understand. Apart from the filth and the crime, what's wrong with Cahokia?

Does this have something to do with Trucks FB post?B-Fred<hi!

Also, what is the GMTAN's opinion on a bald guy with a (alleged) beard?

It works if you are really fat or talk like Sean Connery.

Funny, the e-mail I sent to everyone at work on Tuesday:

After not shaving for 4 days over New Years, my wife has talked me into trying to grow a beard. Now, you may have noticed that some of the men in my family, including me, are follically challenged so I'm not sure where this is going. It is very likely that my face will end up resembling a mangy, rabid dog than Sean Connery. But since we have a short week and I also don't see myself making too many outside calls, (courtesy of my son Typhoid Dylan), I thought I would take a shot at it. So feel free to poke fun, laugh behind my back or hide your face in horror as I walk by. Whatever you think is appropriate. J

Girls of the GMTAN, what do you think? I'm more worried about looking professional. Although the "beard" is coming in pretty thin. Pic to follow.

ETA: link

I don't think you need to worry about looking too professional.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

How I defeated SLB and stole the Hot Mrs. SLB: A love story

Why are you hitting him with cauliflower?

 

[cosjobs]

So I was driving behind a car today that had a bumper sticker that said "I am the 99%"And it really annoyed me. Yeah, you and the other 98.9999999999% of us. And since when is being proud of being less than the best something that we applaud and brag about? Shouldn't we all be trying like heck to become the 1%?And then I started thinking about how it probably really wasn't even true. The guy was in a business suit and driving a brand new 2012 Toyota Camry. That's not exactly living it up in the 90210, but if you make over $35k a year, that puts you in the 1% globally. So the odds are pretty good that this guy is actually a 1 percenter worldwide.So stop whining and aim higher you ************.

Wow. This whole thing really seems has you on edge. Why do you think that is? Why would you be so angry that a guy driving a Camry would claim to be part of the 99%?And you do realize that if the 99% decided they wanted to be the 1%, 99% of them would fail? Are you suggesting most people should set a life course with a guaranteed 99% failure rate?

 

[cosjobs]

Pai Gow sucks. Lost $200 in like 30 minutes when I learned how to play.

If you want to make a quick $75, next time I'll teach you how to play for $125

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Pai Gow sucks. Lost $200 in like 30 minutes when I learned how to play.

I don't even know how this is possible.

 

[charvik]

Been a while since I've taken care of a todler. They still behave the same, right? No new surprises?

There have been amazing strides in toddler technology over the last few years.

They still make baby jails?

I had every intention of building a full size hockey penalty box for the kids, for timeouts, and had devised a perfect system for penalty length. Then I had 2 girls...

 

[bentley]

My toddler got out of the bath tonight and ran around the living room naked with his arms out making airplane noises. Which was really cute until he pissed on the floor.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I don't understand. Apart from the filth and the crime, what's wrong with Cahokia?

Does this have something to do with Trucks FB post?B-Fred<hi!Also, what is the GMTAN's opinion on a bald guy with a (alleged) beard?

It works if you are really fat or talk like Sean Connery.

I better ####### sound like Sean Connery.

 

[Guster]

Hey GM

 

[krista4]

Personally not a fan of the beard (or the walls, or the "art") but if it's getting you laid more, I don't know why you're even asking this question.

<_< The "art" is stuff I bought 17 years ago when I bought my first house. Back the I figured it was better than the sports paraphernalia and girly pictures like my other young 20 something friends used for decoration. Thanks for your honest opinion dixkmitten. It would cost at least 60k to get my basement finished so that isn't happening anytime soon.

I have framed prints of some Monet and Basquiat around the house, among others.You don't like, K4, send me some real art!

I AM THE 99%!@##

Here's a deal: when we move I undoubtedly won't be able to take a lot of this art with us. I'll give y'all dibs on whatever you want (other than the giant painting from an artist who died about a year ago, causing it to go up about 8x in value). We have a LOT of art.

SO :in: My walls are sparse enough as is, but most of the art is the ex's and will be leaving at the end of the month/early Feb. I'm sure that by the time you guys end up moving, I'll still be in need of art

We'll count you in. If you come to BBQFest next year your timing might be just perfect.