What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (44 Viewers)

I live pretty close to Turf Paradise, so I went last weekend on a whim. Just felt like gambling, being outdoors and drinking. I decided I'd like to do this more often, but I want to get good. I want to know the trainers, the jockeys, the horses inside and out. I want to mumble things like "Tanner's Old Balls looks good in the 6th, but last time Martinez rode him, he faded." How long will becoming the Turf Pro take? How much effort? Combine the previous two questions and provide one SuperAnswer.
Did anybody respond to you here?Assuming you are interested in playing the horse races and doing more than just picking the horse that most recently took a dump, the best tip I can give you is to spend a few hours learning how to read a Racing Form. Anybody curious about learning how to play the races WITHOUT taking the time to learn how to read a Racing Form does not have any interest in horse racing. :banned: I'll pause here and await your reply....
This looks like a decent tutorial: http://www1.drf.com/flash/drf_pp_tutorial.htmlWould this be a good place to start?

 
I live pretty close to Turf Paradise, so I went last weekend on a whim. Just felt like gambling, being outdoors and drinking. I decided I'd like to do this more often, but I want to get good. I want to know the trainers, the jockeys, the horses inside and out. I want to mumble things like "Tanner's Old Balls looks good in the 6th, but last time Martinez rode him, he faded." How long will becoming the Turf Pro take? How much effort? Combine the previous two questions and provide one SuperAnswer.
Did anybody respond to you here?Assuming you are interested in playing the horse races and doing more than just picking the horse that most recently took a dump, the best tip I can give you is to spend a few hours learning how to read a Racing Form. Anybody curious about learning how to play the races WITHOUT taking the time to learn how to read a Racing Form does not have any interest in horse racing. :banned: I'll pause here and await your reply....
Pretty sure that the answer here is bet the house on Tanner's Old Balls.
Well, yeah, sure...he can do that. Or he can MAXIMIZE his earnings by Keying Tanner'sOldBalls in an Exacta Wheel with KevzillasMagicalOutterSpaceHair, GadzooksFollies and Shukewich, who is coming off a game effort last trip out at Yonkers, where he was nosed out at the wire by HomersHighschoolHarem. Daily Double players might want to pair Tanner'sOldBalls with KristasSepiaSequins and my longshot pick of the day, HacksGruelingWorkConditions.
Teach me, master.
I'd be interested as well. I'm always lost when I go to the track, but I'm willing to learn
 
I hate that I bet on LSU, but feel worse for TigerFan who shelled out $700 to see this game in person.
I feel bad for everyone who had to watch that crapfest.
:kicksrock: at least I had fun tailgaiting slamming beers with jplvr
No ifs, ands or buts about it...we got anally raped without lube. just awful. The worst part about it was that it was via field goals, so we felt like we had a chance all the way up to the end. :bag:
it's even more disgusting looking at all the stats. When I was at the game, I knew it was bad. But I didn't realize it was that bad.and I have no regrets about spending the $700. It's all about the experience. Jplvr and his BIL got in for $850.
You shoulda bet $700 on Tide ML before the game. :shrug: I paid for my 2010 Rose Bowl trip betting on Ohio State +4.5 against Oregon.
didn't have an extra $700 to do that. Plus I never bet against my teams
 
Well, yeah, sure...he can do that. Or he can MAXIMIZE his earnings by Keying Tanner'sOldBalls in an Exacta Wheel with KevzillasMagicalOutterSpaceHair, GadzooksFollies and Shukewich, who is coming off a game effort last trip out at Yonkers, where he was nosed out at the wire by HomersHighschoolHarem. Daily Double players might want to pair Tanner'sOldBalls with KristasSepiaSequins and my longshot pick of the day, HacksGruelingWorkConditions.
Gambling is very challenging when half of the horses are using aliases.
You can bet on Tanner three times in one race.
:lmao:
 
Any of you dickmittens get a text from me in the last half hour? It appeared that I was somehow able to send it out to more than 10 people and I thought I sent it, but it's not in my "messages" now. Not sure what happened here, I feel like GM right now.

 
I live pretty close to Turf Paradise, so I went last weekend on a whim. Just felt like gambling, being outdoors and drinking. I decided I'd like to do this more often, but I want to get good. I want to know the trainers, the jockeys, the horses inside and out. I want to mumble things like "Tanner's Old Balls looks good in the 6th, but last time Martinez rode him, he faded." How long will becoming the Turf Pro take? How much effort? Combine the previous two questions and provide one SuperAnswer.
Did anybody respond to you here?Assuming you are interested in playing the horse races and doing more than just picking the horse that most recently took a dump, the best tip I can give you is to spend a few hours learning how to read a Racing Form. Anybody curious about learning how to play the races WITHOUT taking the time to learn how to read a Racing Form does not have any interest in horse racing. :banned: I'll pause here and await your reply....
As somebody that has lived this in the past I can lend some insight. I'll add some thoughts tonight when I'm not at work.
 
Any of you dickmittens get a text from me in the last half hour? It appeared that I was somehow able to send it out to more than 10 people and I thought I sent it, but it's not in my "messages" now. Not sure what happened here, I feel like GM right now.
Btw, there bewbs involved in said text.
 
I live pretty close to Turf Paradise, so I went last weekend on a whim. Just felt like gambling, being outdoors and drinking. I decided I'd like to do this more often, but I want to get good. I want to know the trainers, the jockeys, the horses inside and out. I want to mumble things like "Tanner's Old Balls looks good in the 6th, but last time Martinez rode him, he faded." How long will becoming the Turf Pro take? How much effort? Combine the previous two questions and provide one SuperAnswer.
Did anybody respond to you here?Assuming you are interested in playing the horse races and doing more than just picking the horse that most recently took a dump, the best tip I can give you is to spend a few hours learning how to read a Racing Form. Anybody curious about learning how to play the races WITHOUT taking the time to learn how to read a Racing Form does not have any interest in horse racing. :banned: I'll pause here and await your reply....
This looks like a decent tutorial: http://www1.drf.com/flash/drf_pp_tutorial.htmlWould this be a good place to start?
Was going to send you exactly there. :thumbup: DRF does a great job with their online tutorial. Once you understand what all the numbers and information means, you can begin to formulate your own unique strategy to cap the races. There is no secret formula here and the minute you think you have one, it'll blow up in your face and you'll be back at the drawing board. Still, it is essential that you learn how to read this, translate the data and form your betting strategies.

If you go to the races, you typically have 20-30 minutes between races. If you want to enjoy the outdoors and hit up the ladies, do your homework the night before. I cannot stress this enough. You can buy the racing forms off of DRF.com to any track or you can walk into your local Cigar/News store and buy the updated Racing Form. Being prepared before walking in means you don't have 'speed cap' between races, which is where many players make their most mistakes. There have been countless times I've come to the track, nailed the first two races then struggled the rest of the day. Why? Because I'd get lazy in my capping the night/morning before and would dedicate more time to the first races than the later ones. It can be like studying for a college exam at times. You really have to be dedicated to bet a full day of races with any sort of edge.

Also, if you know what you're doing BEFORE you get to the park, you can drink with impunity. Beer has ruined my focus on too many occasions, making it imperative that I cap while sober the night before.

Once you get a handle on the racing form, you can start putting it to practice. That's the best way to learn...bet small and start making plays based on your digestion of the data. Make notes on the form after the race is over. What trends do you see? What did the horses do that you tossed out? Do the winning horses have anything in common?

And it's not all about the horses. Trainers and jockeys are a key cog to all this as well - especially trainers. In fact, I'd argue that its almost as important to know the tendencies and the strengths/weaknesses of the trainers as it is to know anything about his horses. Does the trainer have a successful angel with first time starters? Does he/she excel with horses coming off a layoff? Does he/she have a better record on the turf than the dirt?

I've played the races for a long long time and I'm still working on my strategy. I thought I had a good system in place, but this year was INCREDIBLY challenging to me. Nothing I did that worked in the past worked for me this year. Forced me to give it up for a while.

 
I hate that I bet on LSU, but feel worse for TigerFan who shelled out $700 to see this game in person.
I feel bad for everyone who had to watch that crapfest.
:kicksrock: at least I had fun tailgaiting slamming beers with jplvr
No ifs, ands or buts about it...we got anally raped without lube. just awful. The worst part about it was that it was via field goals, so we felt like we had a chance all the way up to the end. :bag:
it's even more disgusting looking at all the stats. When I was at the game, I knew it was bad. But I didn't realize it was that bad.and I have no regrets about spending the $700. It's all about the experience. Jplvr and his BIL got in for $850.
You shoulda bet $700 on Tide ML before the game. :shrug: I paid for my 2010 Rose Bowl trip betting on Ohio State +4.5 against Oregon.
didn't have an extra $700 to do that. Plus I never bet against my teams
They call it a mysery hedge for a reason. And it's not a bet....it's an investment and you CANNOT get emotional about your investments. Just tell yourself that next year. ;)
 
So there is a girl that I am very interested in, in my office. I'm outkicking my coverage a bit, but she is showing all the signs of interest that you can show towards a married guy in process of getting a divorce.

She told me today that it's very important that I know that she watches the entire LOTR trilogy once a year, and I really need to know the movies if I want her respect.

Slap it :nerd: ??

 
So there is a girl that I am very interested in, in my office. I'm outkicking my coverage a bit, but she is showing all the signs of interest that you can show towards a married guy in process of getting a divorce.She told me today that it's very important that I know that she watches the entire LOTR trilogy once a year, and I really need to know the movies if I want her respect.Slap it :nerd: ??
Tell her that you knew the +5 attraction spell you cast last week was going to work!
 
Co-worker bought us a Keurig One-Cup Coffee machine for Xmas. A better invention I have yet to come across. :coffee:
I have more and more clients asking me for the coffee. I found out we can become a dealer but have to sell something crazy like 20 coffee makers a month. I don't know, I may have to revisit this.
 
So there is a girl that I am very interested in, in my office. I'm outkicking my coverage a bit, but she is showing all the signs of interest that you can show towards a married guy in process of getting a divorce.She told me today that it's very important that I know that she watches the entire LOTR trilogy once a year, and I really need to know the movies if I want her respect.Slap it :nerd: ??
lol, hope she plays warwulfs too.
 
Co-worker bought us a Keurig One-Cup Coffee machine for Xmas. A better invention I have yet to come across. :coffee:
I have more and more clients asking me for the coffee. I found out we can become a dealer but have to sell something crazy like 20 coffee makers a month. I don't know, I may have to revisit this.
I think a pot of fresh brewed coffee still tastes better cup vs cup to this thing, but you cannot beat the time it takes to generate a decent cup of black coffee with this device. I was skeptical at first, but I'm a big fan. :thumbup:
 
Meh. I've seen boobs before.
And I've breathed air before. This rack....it's not painful to look at it. :thumbup: I used to want to be Tecumseh when I grew up, what with his famous career as a broadcaster and his whimsicle free time discovering lost treasure with a metal detector....but now? Now I just want to be Gadzooks for as long as this gravy train is riding along. Man, great skin.
 
Meh. I've seen boobs before.
And I've breathed air before. This rack....it's not painful to look at it. :thumbup: I used to want to be Tecumseh when I grew up, what with his famous career as a broadcaster and his whimsicle free time discovering lost treasure with a metal detector....but now? Now I just want to be Gadzooks for as long as this gravy train is riding along. Man, great skin.
:lmao:
 
America has a binge drinking problem, according to a new government report.More than 38 million U.S. adults binge drink an average of four times each month, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The agency notes that the majority of people who binge drink are not alcoholics, but the trend is alarming because of the number of serious problems that can occur when people have too much alcohol, such as car accidents, violence and sexually transmitted diseases.The CDC reports that too much drinking results in 80,000 deaths each year in the U.S., and cost the country more than $223.5 billion in 2006."The public is very much aware of the health risks of obesity, which are less than binge drinking," said Dr. Fulton Crews, director of the Center for Alcohol Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "But most people don't realize that binge drinking is unhealthy."The agency defines binge drinking as women having four or more drinks in a sitting and men drinking five or more, but the definition of binge drinking can vary. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the same amount of alcohol must be consumed in two hours or less to qualify as binge drinking, an amount that would put a person's blood alcohol level above the legal driving limit, Crews said.According to the CDC's report, binge drinking is more common among young adults ages 18 to 34 and among wealthier Americans, those with an annual household income of $75,000 or more. But binge drinkers age 65 and older reported drinking more in one sitting, and people with an annual income of less than $25,000 per household drank the largest number of drinks per sitting - about eight or nine at a time.
:unsure:
 
Meh. I've seen boobs before.
And I've breathed air before. This rack....it's not painful to look at it. :thumbup: I used to want to be Tecumseh when I grew up, what with his famous career as a broadcaster and his whimsicle free time discovering lost treasure with a metal detector....but now? Now I just want to be Gadzooks for as long as this gravy train is riding along. Man, great skin.
:lmao:
Taste teh flesh, imo
 
America has a binge drinking problem, according to a new government report.More than 38 million U.S. adults binge drink an average of four times each month, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The agency notes that the majority of people who binge drink are not alcoholics, but the trend is alarming because of the number of serious problems that can occur when people have too much alcohol, such as car accidents, violence and sexually transmitted diseases.The CDC reports that too much drinking results in 80,000 deaths each year in the U.S., and cost the country more than $223.5 billion in 2006."The public is very much aware of the health risks of obesity, which are less than binge drinking," said Dr. Fulton Crews, director of the Center for Alcohol Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "But most people don't realize that binge drinking is unhealthy."The agency defines binge drinking as women having four or more drinks in a sitting and men drinking five or more, but the definition of binge drinking can vary. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the same amount of alcohol must be consumed in two hours or less to qualify as binge drinking, an amount that would put a person's blood alcohol level above the legal driving limit, Crews said.According to the CDC's report, binge drinking is more common among young adults ages 18 to 34 and among wealthier Americans, those with an annual household income of $75,000 or more. But binge drinkers age 65 and older reported drinking more in one sitting, and people with an annual income of less than $25,000 per household drank the largest number of drinks per sitting - about eight or nine at a time.
:unsure:
You're way older than 34, slick.
 
America has a binge drinking problem, according to a new government report.More than 38 million U.S. adults binge drink an average of four times each month, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The agency notes that the majority of people who binge drink are not alcoholics, but the trend is alarming because of the number of serious problems that can occur when people have too much alcohol, such as car accidents, violence and sexually transmitted diseases.The CDC reports that too much drinking results in 80,000 deaths each year in the U.S., and cost the country more than $223.5 billion in 2006."The public is very much aware of the health risks of obesity, which are less than binge drinking," said Dr. Fulton Crews, director of the Center for Alcohol Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "But most people don't realize that binge drinking is unhealthy."The agency defines binge drinking as women having four or more drinks in a sitting and men drinking five or more, but the definition of binge drinking can vary. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the same amount of alcohol must be consumed in two hours or less to qualify as binge drinking, an amount that would put a person's blood alcohol level above the legal driving limit, Crews said.According to the CDC's report, binge drinking is more common among young adults ages 18 to 34 and among wealthier Americans, those with an annual household income of $75,000 or more. But binge drinkers age 65 and older reported drinking more in one sitting, and people with an annual income of less than $25,000 per household drank the largest number of drinks per sitting - about eight or nine at a time.
:unsure:
5 beers in 2 hours is binge drinking? :mellow:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
America has a binge drinking problem, according to a new government report.More than 38 million U.S. adults binge drink an average of four times each month, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The agency notes that the majority of people who binge drink are not alcoholics, but the trend is alarming because of the number of serious problems that can occur when people have too much alcohol, such as car accidents, violence and sexually transmitted diseases.The CDC reports that too much drinking results in 80,000 deaths each year in the U.S., and cost the country more than $223.5 billion in 2006."The public is very much aware of the health risks of obesity, which are less than binge drinking," said Dr. Fulton Crews, director of the Center for Alcohol Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "But most people don't realize that binge drinking is unhealthy."The agency defines binge drinking as women having four or more drinks in a sitting and men drinking five or more, but the definition of binge drinking can vary. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the same amount of alcohol must be consumed in two hours or less to qualify as binge drinking, an amount that would put a person's blood alcohol level above the legal driving limit, Crews said.According to the CDC's report, binge drinking is more common among young adults ages 18 to 34 and among wealthier Americans, those with an annual household income of $75,000 or more. But binge drinkers age 65 and older reported drinking more in one sitting, and people with an annual income of less than $25,000 per household drank the largest number of drinks per sitting - about eight or nine at a time.
:unsure:
5 beers in 2 hours is binge drinking? :mellow:
What if it is 5 beers via beer-bong and then an hour later 5 more bonged beers?
 
America has a binge drinking problem, according to a new government report.More than 38 million U.S. adults binge drink an average of four times each month, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The agency notes that the majority of people who binge drink are not alcoholics, but the trend is alarming because of the number of serious problems that can occur when people have too much alcohol, such as car accidents, violence and sexually transmitted diseases.The CDC reports that too much drinking results in 80,000 deaths each year in the U.S., and cost the country more than $223.5 billion in 2006."The public is very much aware of the health risks of obesity, which are less than binge drinking," said Dr. Fulton Crews, director of the Center for Alcohol Studies at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "But most people don't realize that binge drinking is unhealthy."The agency defines binge drinking as women having four or more drinks in a sitting and men drinking five or more, but the definition of binge drinking can vary. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the same amount of alcohol must be consumed in two hours or less to qualify as binge drinking, an amount that would put a person's blood alcohol level above the legal driving limit, Crews said.According to the CDC's report, binge drinking is more common among young adults ages 18 to 34 and among wealthier Americans, those with an annual household income of $75,000 or more. But binge drinkers age 65 and older reported drinking more in one sitting, and people with an annual income of less than $25,000 per household drank the largest number of drinks per sitting - about eight or nine at a time.
:unsure:
5 beers in 2 hours is binge drinking? :mellow:
What if it is 5 beers via beer-bong and then an hour later 5 more bonged beers?
No, that's just efficiency
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top