Took a shot video when I got home with the new gf dedicated to stu and and homer but it was upside down and ####ed up. Good seeing you stu. We'll have to do another shot video when I'm not hammered next time.
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GM's thread about nothing (19 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Took a shot video when I got home with the new gf dedicated to stu and and homer but it was upside down and ####ed up. Good seeing you stu. We'll have to do another shot video when I'm not hammered next time.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Weak sauce.
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
####ed up weekend for me. Sorry to be a downer, and no offense but I have 87 unread text messages and I won't be reading them. Someone please PM me any highlights
Might be kinda long so the "tldr version" - FIL has a fractured skull
Now the "I'm kinda drunk and workig on 4 hours sleep in 2 days version" - SIL has been in Germany for work. So MIL went from La Crosse, WI to Chicago to help out BIL with their 2 kids all last week. My wife calls me at about 1pm Friday afternoon. Her dad had just called her (from home) and was basically speaking gibberish. I have no advice so I tell her we can worry about this at 5 when I get out. She calls her mom around 2pm when she was supposed to be getting home from Chicago. Her mom says "I can't talk right now. Your father isn't right. THere's a pool of blood at the bottom of the stairs".
My wife insists she take him to the hospital based on their earlier conversation and this new found evidence. She then calls me, crying her eyes out that her father fell down the stairs and is being taken to the hospital. Doooshbag move of the year I say "Hon there's no reason to be alarmed right now, your mom is taking him to the hospital and we're 3.5 hours away. Let's wait for some info. But we can go there as soon as I'm out of work. You cannot make this drive in your condition."
Not 30 minutes later, I get a call from her and she's histerical. The words blended together but the message was "this could be fatal, his brain is bleeding, we need to go home now"
I left work right away and we drove to LaX. THe ride consisted of phone calls and "I heard this" and "I heard that" and a constant rumor mill of what happened to him. Truth is, he doesn't remember, and he probably fell down the stairs
We had nowhere to go with our dog so she came with. I dropped my wife off at the hospital and then drove the half hour to the outskirts where her parents live to put the dog in the kennel and try to clean some of this blood up. I got there and 2 of his brothers and a nephew were there starting the cleaning process. I immediately said "This carpet needs to be replaced". They said "OK we're out of here. Havea good one"
My other BIL gets to the house about an hour later (this is ballpark 11pm). We spent the next 4 hours trying to clean this blood up. IT looked good, but was still pretty pink. Freaking guy must have lost 3 pints of blood (it's still pooling, 8 bottles of cleaner and about 7 hours total of carpet cleaning later) but I digress....
Sorry, this keeps going on and I am skipping a ton of details but the fractured skull saved his life. The pressure from his brain injury etc was able to be released through the fracture otherwise he would have been dead on the floor. It's difficult to tell, but this could have happened anywhere from 7:00pm Thursday night to Noon Friday afternoon. Luckily his wife came home to find him sitting in his chair watching TV, covered in blood and took him to the hospital.
Currenty, the brain bleed has stopped and he's coherent. He was moved from ICU to a reglar room around 4pm. Remarkably, they may actually release him sometime tomorrow, his condition has improved that much.
My wife and MIL had been there over 24 hours at this point. So my MIL asked me to take my wife out to dinner and get her some air. We did that and my wife's demeanor changed dramatically, she really needed that. WHen we got back to the hospital she commented on how much better she felt so I grabbed her mom and said "Diane, we're getting out of here". SHe was apprehensive at first because she really wanted to stay with her husband but when she figured out that I was taking her out she grabbed my arm and said "Thank you"
She had 2 glasses of wine at a small corner bar and was able to get some things off her chest about the situation that she just coudn't say in the hospital. We had a great chat and the first tear she has shed in front of anyone throughout this whole ordeal was when I left. She gave me a big hug and said how much she needed that.
FIL was also coherent enough to note that I had been there longer than his own son (another story altogether). I feel bad about that but as I was leaving FIL winked and said "Thank you for what you did for my wife and daughter" And he was sleeping when we were out.
I'm rambling so I'll end it here. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. No T&P needed because he should make a full (albeit, slow) recovery. But this was a really scary situation and as painful as it is to say in a situation like this, I'm closer to my wife and my MIL and FIL than I've ever been.
Good night. Im going to sleep like a baby
PS I'm sleeping a foot underneath a massive deer mount and it's haunting me.
Might be kinda long so the "tldr version" - FIL has a fractured skull
Now the "I'm kinda drunk and workig on 4 hours sleep in 2 days version" - SIL has been in Germany for work. So MIL went from La Crosse, WI to Chicago to help out BIL with their 2 kids all last week. My wife calls me at about 1pm Friday afternoon. Her dad had just called her (from home) and was basically speaking gibberish. I have no advice so I tell her we can worry about this at 5 when I get out. She calls her mom around 2pm when she was supposed to be getting home from Chicago. Her mom says "I can't talk right now. Your father isn't right. THere's a pool of blood at the bottom of the stairs".
My wife insists she take him to the hospital based on their earlier conversation and this new found evidence. She then calls me, crying her eyes out that her father fell down the stairs and is being taken to the hospital. Doooshbag move of the year I say "Hon there's no reason to be alarmed right now, your mom is taking him to the hospital and we're 3.5 hours away. Let's wait for some info. But we can go there as soon as I'm out of work. You cannot make this drive in your condition."
Not 30 minutes later, I get a call from her and she's histerical. The words blended together but the message was "this could be fatal, his brain is bleeding, we need to go home now"
I left work right away and we drove to LaX. THe ride consisted of phone calls and "I heard this" and "I heard that" and a constant rumor mill of what happened to him. Truth is, he doesn't remember, and he probably fell down the stairs
We had nowhere to go with our dog so she came with. I dropped my wife off at the hospital and then drove the half hour to the outskirts where her parents live to put the dog in the kennel and try to clean some of this blood up. I got there and 2 of his brothers and a nephew were there starting the cleaning process. I immediately said "This carpet needs to be replaced". They said "OK we're out of here. Havea good one"
My other BIL gets to the house about an hour later (this is ballpark 11pm). We spent the next 4 hours trying to clean this blood up. IT looked good, but was still pretty pink. Freaking guy must have lost 3 pints of blood (it's still pooling, 8 bottles of cleaner and about 7 hours total of carpet cleaning later) but I digress....
Sorry, this keeps going on and I am skipping a ton of details but the fractured skull saved his life. The pressure from his brain injury etc was able to be released through the fracture otherwise he would have been dead on the floor. It's difficult to tell, but this could have happened anywhere from 7:00pm Thursday night to Noon Friday afternoon. Luckily his wife came home to find him sitting in his chair watching TV, covered in blood and took him to the hospital.
Currenty, the brain bleed has stopped and he's coherent. He was moved from ICU to a reglar room around 4pm. Remarkably, they may actually release him sometime tomorrow, his condition has improved that much.
My wife and MIL had been there over 24 hours at this point. So my MIL asked me to take my wife out to dinner and get her some air. We did that and my wife's demeanor changed dramatically, she really needed that. WHen we got back to the hospital she commented on how much better she felt so I grabbed her mom and said "Diane, we're getting out of here". SHe was apprehensive at first because she really wanted to stay with her husband but when she figured out that I was taking her out she grabbed my arm and said "Thank you"
She had 2 glasses of wine at a small corner bar and was able to get some things off her chest about the situation that she just coudn't say in the hospital. We had a great chat and the first tear she has shed in front of anyone throughout this whole ordeal was when I left. She gave me a big hug and said how much she needed that.
FIL was also coherent enough to note that I had been there longer than his own son (another story altogether). I feel bad about that but as I was leaving FIL winked and said "Thank you for what you did for my wife and daughter" And he was sleeping when we were out.
I'm rambling so I'll end it here. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. No T&P needed because he should make a full (albeit, slow) recovery. But this was a really scary situation and as painful as it is to say in a situation like this, I'm closer to my wife and my MIL and FIL than I've ever been.
Good night. Im going to sleep like a baby
PS I'm sleeping a foot underneath a massive deer mount and it's haunting me.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
That thoughtless sonova...Scratch that. He didn't get me a Mother's Day card from our cats.'YSR said:I've got a good one.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Marvin
Footballguy
Even better...Hallmark is antifelinite.Scratch that. He didn't get me a Mother's Day card from our cats.'YSR said:I've got a good one.
cosjobs
Footballguy
You are a good man.####ed up weekend for me. Sorry to be a downer, and no offense but I have 87 unread text messages and I won't be reading them. Someone please PM me any highlights
Might be kinda long so the "tldr version" - FIL has a fractured skull
Now the "I'm kinda drunk and workig on 4 hours sleep in 2 days version" - SIL has been in Germany for work. So MIL went from La Crosse, WI to Chicago to help out BIL with their 2 kids all last week. My wife calls me at about 1pm Friday afternoon. Her dad had just called her (from home) and was basically speaking gibberish. I have no advice so I tell her we can worry about this at 5 when I get out. She calls her mom around 2pm when she was supposed to be getting home from Chicago. Her mom says "I can't talk right now. Your father isn't right. THere's a pool of blood at the bottom of the stairs".
My wife insists she take him to the hospital based on their earlier conversation and this new found evidence. She then calls me, crying her eyes out that her father fell down the stairs and is being taken to the hospital. Doooshbag move of the year I say "Hon there's no reason to be alarmed right now, your mom is taking him to the hospital and we're 3.5 hours away. Let's wait for some info. But we can go there as soon as I'm out of work. You cannot make this drive in your condition."
Not 30 minutes later, I get a call from her and she's histerical. The words blended together but the message was "this could be fatal, his brain is bleeding, we need to go home now"
I left work right away and we drove to LaX. THe ride consisted of phone calls and "I heard this" and "I heard that" and a constant rumor mill of what happened to him. Truth is, he doesn't remember, and he probably fell down the stairs
We had nowhere to go with our dog so she came with. I dropped my wife off at the hospital and then drove the half hour to the outskirts where her parents live to put the dog in the kennel and try to clean some of this blood up. I got there and 2 of his brothers and a nephew were there starting the cleaning process. I immediately said "This carpet needs to be replaced". They said "OK we're out of here. Havea good one"
My other BIL gets to the house about an hour later (this is ballpark 11pm). We spent the next 4 hours trying to clean this blood up. IT looked good, but was still pretty pink. Freaking guy must have lost 3 pints of blood (it's still pooling, 8 bottles of cleaner and about 7 hours total of carpet cleaning later) but I digress....
Sorry, this keeps going on and I am skipping a ton of details but the fractured skull saved his life. The pressure from his brain injury etc was able to be released through the fracture otherwise he would have been dead on the floor. It's difficult to tell, but this could have happened anywhere from 7:00pm Thursday night to Noon Friday afternoon. Luckily his wife came home to find him sitting in his chair watching TV, covered in blood and took him to the hospital.
Currenty, the brain bleed has stopped and he's coherent. He was moved from ICU to a reglar room around 4pm. Remarkably, they may actually release him sometime tomorrow, his condition has improved that much.
My wife and MIL had been there over 24 hours at this point. So my MIL asked me to take my wife out to dinner and get her some air. We did that and my wife's demeanor changed dramatically, she really needed that. WHen we got back to the hospital she commented on how much better she felt so I grabbed her mom and said "Diane, we're getting out of here". SHe was apprehensive at first because she really wanted to stay with her husband but when she figured out that I was taking her out she grabbed my arm and said "Thank you"
She had 2 glasses of wine at a small corner bar and was able to get some things off her chest about the situation that she just coudn't say in the hospital. We had a great chat and the first tear she has shed in front of anyone throughout this whole ordeal was when I left. She gave me a big hug and said how much she needed that.
FIL was also coherent enough to note that I had been there longer than his own son (another story altogether). I feel bad about that but as I was leaving FIL winked and said "Thank you for what you did for my wife and daughter" And he was sleeping when we were out.
I'm rambling so I'll end it here. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. No T&P needed because he should make a full (albeit, slow) recovery. But this was a really scary situation and as painful as it is to say in a situation like this, I'm closer to my wife and my MIL and FIL than I've ever been.
Good night. Im going to sleep like a baby
PS I'm sleeping a foot underneath a massive deer mount and it's haunting me.
Marvin
Footballguy
I'd be really careful with the post-pee shake. Mittens might decide you're trying to get him to play.
Marvin
Footballguy
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Guster
Footballguy
cosjobs
Footballguy
sad to say I'd be safely out of reach
cosjobs
Footballguy
FOr Mother's Day dinner:
Took a five pound pork loin and butterflied it out to about 3/4" think and 3 ft. long, then brined it for a day and a half.
Made a mixture of: Panko bread crumbs, peeled & diced apples, diced onion, Chiffonade of spinach, pine nute, drued cranberries, dried cherries and shredded swiss cheese.
Spread the mixture on top of the loin, then rolled it up and held in place with skewers and toothpicks and baked 2.5 hours at 300 degrees.
Sliced and served with fresh mashed sweet potatoes, fresh corn off the cob, garden green beans & chard, and biscuits.
VEry well received.
Took a five pound pork loin and butterflied it out to about 3/4" think and 3 ft. long, then brined it for a day and a half.
Made a mixture of: Panko bread crumbs, peeled & diced apples, diced onion, Chiffonade of spinach, pine nute, drued cranberries, dried cherries and shredded swiss cheese.
Spread the mixture on top of the loin, then rolled it up and held in place with skewers and toothpicks and baked 2.5 hours at 300 degrees.
Sliced and served with fresh mashed sweet potatoes, fresh corn off the cob, garden green beans & chard, and biscuits.
VEry well received.
Marvin
Footballguy
Marvin
Footballguy
I'm going to start demanding freaking royalties.
King_Kelly
Footballguy
I did something similar. Drove the family to the Taco Bueno in Round Rock and told them to go wild.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Afraid to click. I'm in the car with other human beings.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
:(
I made two beef tenderloins, a brisket, a ribeye roast and a round roast yesterday on my BGE.
Afraid to click. I'm in the car with other human beings.
Good call.
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King_Kelly
Footballguy
I drank too much beer last night, got up early with the boys, and have been doing Mother's Day stuff all day. AngryWife is out shopping. If these little ####ers don't fall asleep soon so that daddy can also get an afternoon nap, I'm going to put nails in my shoes and start walking all over people.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Cal made his First Communion yesterday. Yeah, don't get me started. Plus for all of you Catholics that haven't been churched up in a while, I have a question. The priest says "The Lord be with you" and you say "And also with you" right? No, that would be wrong. They apparently changed the words.
Anyhow, (after Googling) they do the renewal of Baptismal promises. You are supposed to say "I do" after each question.
Priest: Do you reject Satan?
Mrs. SLB: (looks at me out of the corner of her eye)
Me:
Priest: And all his works?
Mrs. SLB: (Turns her head and looks me the eyes)
Me:
Priest: And all his empty promises?
Mrs. SLB: (Completely turns her body towards me) and
Me:
ETA
As and added bonus we got to sit next to "look how religious and good I am because I sing at the top of my lungs" guy.
Anyhow, (after Googling) they do the renewal of Baptismal promises. You are supposed to say "I do" after each question.
Priest: Do you reject Satan?
Mrs. SLB: (looks at me out of the corner of her eye)
Me:
Priest: And all his works?
Mrs. SLB: (Turns her head and looks me the eyes)
Me:
Priest: And all his empty promises?
Mrs. SLB: (Completely turns her body towards me) and
Me:
ETA
As and added bonus we got to sit next to "look how religious and good I am because I sing at the top of my lungs" guy.
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cosjobs
Footballguy
easy there Hazel
King_Kelly
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Shuke, remember my idea about making up a hoax e-mail and seeing see if it would make it to somebody here? Church inspired me.
What do you think? Anyone? Schuler?
Last edited by a moderator:
shamwow!
Footballguy
shamwow!
Footballguy
This is 100% awesome. Do it.
bostonfred
Footballguy
The quality of a meal is directly proportionate to the number of ingredients I've either never heard of or don't know how to make. Chifonade definitely counts. What means this?
mr. furley
Footballguy
your FIL = tough guy 
glllllllllllllll
glllllllllllllll
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
Come to find out that when he came to, the freaking guy drove himself to work (owns his own HVAC company). No one was in the shop so he came back home. Thank jeebus he didn't drive into a ditch or something.He passed the tests from the physical therapist today. Being a holiday weekend the hospital was a little understaffed so he never got to see the occupational therapist. He just has to pass that test and he can go home, with some major restrictionsyour FIL = tough guy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Tired dog. Was up until 2am last night prepping/cooking for this morning's Mothers' Day Bonanza Feast Brunch, which was fabulous (thank you for all your recipe ideas, you know who you are). Lobster frittata and the Egg Casserole were well received, as was the blueberry coffee cake and fresh fruit. 
I was up at 6:30am and at my folks by 7am to begin cooking. I'm not good at multitasking, so I probably take three times as long as Cosjobs would making the same meal. But I busted tail and got it done and it was fun.
Then we had a baseball game at 11am - a Mothers' Day event at Apensrose Dairy, which has really cool looking fields and scoreboards and an announcer.
And a Snack Shack.
The Little League earns a kickback for everything sold at this Snack Shack. Only thing is a parent must volunteer to help run it along side a trollish looking woman who doesn't take kindly to a lot of things. Anybody wanna guess who thought it would be a "hoot" to work the Snack Shack instead of coaching first base?
I introduced myself to the old gal alone in the Snack Shack, a place she rules with an iron fist. I warmed her over with my enthusiasm excitement to begin, which really came in handy when she realized the man taking all the money and barking out all the orders was a functional idiot whose rudimentary math skills are only marginally better than his spelling.
For a while, it was slow and steady; a snowcone here, a hot dog there, lots and lots of water - it was hot! I tried to drum up a little business and was shticky the clown out there. And then it got busy. Real busy. And the lady in front of the line is ordering for her entire litter of kids and grandkids and they are taking forever to make up their mind and they keep adding stuff. And you know who really isn't good adding in his head under pressure?
I tried to repeat her order a few times and even went to the calculator Finally I just threw out a number "That'll be $18 dollars". Old bag: "You sure about that? I worked in a place like this for 12 years when my sons were in little league, you want me to come back there and help you". 
I am reasonably certain about the $18 and she gathers her loot and brood and heads off. Or so I think. She comes into the Snack Shack and tells the Troll Lady she worked for 12 years in a blah blah blah. Old troll tells her to beat it, can't be back there for some health code reason. Not sure how I passed her test. I was a mess of sausage grease and sunblock from earlier. Anyway, I appreciated Troll having my back. I came correct the balance of the afternoon. I upsold hotdogs and burgers with soda and bags of chips. Asking people what bag of chips they wanted was a highlight. Classic Lays a very popular item...who knew?
Two freaking hours in the Snack Shack...busy, hustling. All day. 2pm, I have to rush Cooper home to change into Flag Football gear. I coach his defense. He's playing with 3rd and 4th graders. Our team is great. But today we faced a tough tough team. Beat them 14-6. Excellent game. Baseball was a 19-16 loss, but we came back.
I didn't sit down until 5pm today (not including driving). I ate breakfast standing up. I might not be up late tonight. One more beer and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hope you all had a wonderful Mothers' Day. Mine was sensational. Good gals in my life.
tthere might be some spelling or grammar errors above. i'm too tired to spell check.
I was up at 6:30am and at my folks by 7am to begin cooking. I'm not good at multitasking, so I probably take three times as long as Cosjobs would making the same meal. But I busted tail and got it done and it was fun.
Then we had a baseball game at 11am - a Mothers' Day event at Apensrose Dairy, which has really cool looking fields and scoreboards and an announcer.
And a Snack Shack.
The Little League earns a kickback for everything sold at this Snack Shack. Only thing is a parent must volunteer to help run it along side a trollish looking woman who doesn't take kindly to a lot of things. Anybody wanna guess who thought it would be a "hoot" to work the Snack Shack instead of coaching first base?
I introduced myself to the old gal alone in the Snack Shack, a place she rules with an iron fist. I warmed her over with my enthusiasm excitement to begin, which really came in handy when she realized the man taking all the money and barking out all the orders was a functional idiot whose rudimentary math skills are only marginally better than his spelling.
For a while, it was slow and steady; a snowcone here, a hot dog there, lots and lots of water - it was hot! I tried to drum up a little business and was shticky the clown out there. And then it got busy. Real busy. And the lady in front of the line is ordering for her entire litter of kids and grandkids and they are taking forever to make up their mind and they keep adding stuff. And you know who really isn't good adding in his head under pressure?
I tried to repeat her order a few times and even went to the calculator
Finally I just threw out a number "That'll be $18 dollars". Old bag: "You sure about that? I worked in a place like this for 12 years when my sons were in little league, you want me to come back there and help you". I am reasonably certain about the $18 and she gathers her loot and brood and heads off. Or so I think. She comes into the Snack Shack and tells the Troll Lady she worked for 12 years in a blah blah blah. Old troll tells her to beat it, can't be back there for some health code reason. Not sure how I passed her test. I was a mess of sausage grease and sunblock from earlier. Anyway, I appreciated Troll having my back. I came correct the balance of the afternoon. I upsold hotdogs and burgers with soda and bags of chips. Asking people what bag of chips they wanted was a highlight. Classic Lays a very popular item...who knew?
Two freaking hours in the Snack Shack...busy, hustling. All day. 2pm, I have to rush Cooper home to change into Flag Football gear. I coach his defense. He's playing with 3rd and 4th graders. Our team is great. But today we faced a tough tough team. Beat them 14-6. Excellent game. Baseball was a 19-16 loss, but we came back.
I didn't sit down until 5pm today (not including driving). I ate breakfast standing up. I might not be up late tonight. One more beer and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hope you all had a wonderful Mothers' Day. Mine was sensational. Good gals in my life.
tthere might be some spelling or grammar errors above. i'm too tired to spell check.
cosjobs
Footballguy
Its like a julienne for leafy vegetables. Take lettuce of spinach and scrunch it together, like a little ball, then shave off thin slices of the ball.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Human feet?
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Looks good. Although I think you went over the top with the flavors, seems made up since you just went with the two most popular Doritos flavors. Maybe go with sun-dried tomato and sharp cheddar.The big problem is how to get this out. I can't imagine anyone who would receive this email from me not thinking it was some type of shtick.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
find a message board
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Kind of a Big Deal.
Guster
Footballguy
local radio show
King_Kelly
Footballguy
Exactly. Crock pot feet.
Marvin
Footballguy
Rules
General Malaise
Footballguy
Aquaman
Footballguy
Mmmmmm...the Jeesiest.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Walking around NYC right now. Jebus, there are so many hot chicks here my head has been on a swivel all day. And the Asians...my god, the Asians!
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