What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (45 Viewers)

'mr. furley said:
'Marvin said:
'Notorious T.R.E. said:
'Marvin said:
'Notorious T.R.E. said:
'mr. furley said:
local dive bar is having a meat raffle this weekat 2 pm on a weekday wtf :hot:
Click to expand...
Dumb Wisconsin people.
Click to expand...
For those of us that don't live in places where local drinking establishments don't feel the need to give away meat on a regular basis: What would be the optimal time to hold a meat raffle?
Click to expand...
Weekdays: happy hour-ish 5-6pmWeekends: early afternoon 1-2pm
Click to expand...
:thumbup: I'll be sure to remember that next time I'm in Manitowoc.
Click to expand...
call mei know a great greasy spoon downtown :wub:
Click to expand...
"Hey, just wanted you to know I'm leaving Manitowoc. I was going to call you earlier but then I'd have to lie about not wanting to hang out."
 
'General Malaise said:
'flysack said:
As a drunk guy that takes a lot of cabs home from bars, this sounds like hell on earth.
Click to expand...
Yea, I was thinking that too. The crap pay just isn't worth it. As Mrs. Fly put it, "you'd make more sitting in a toll booth in a parking garage."
Click to expand...
Hold on here...I think you're on to something here. Sure, it's going to suck when you pick up drunk guy who is taking videos of himself taking shots of Prestone, but think of all the hot chicks we've seen over the years on Taxi Cab Confessions! :excited: :excited: :excited: Hell, your night might consist of 8 Tres and 1 uber hot, very slutty bi-curious coed who wants you to stop off at 7-11 and pick up the girl in the cutoffs jean shorts and pigtails. You can't NOT do this. YOU HAVE to do this.
Click to expand...
GM = the little devil man on my shoulder. :unsure:
 
'Guster said:
'Disco Stu said:
'Disco Stu said:
Also tried a few times to make the first(?) on the water shot video but failed miserably.
Click to expand...
Take 2The only shots available were Jello. I don't think anyone here wants to see me use that much tongue anyway. Though I suppose you did just watch a dude piss... :shrug:
Click to expand...
Whhho just pinched me?Looks like that could have been a fun boat to be on
Click to expand...
Looks? All I saw were hot chicks and out of shape white dudes. It's like a beer commercial come true!
 
'proninja said:
GM - resist the urge to get a soft, squishy saddle. You want a saddle that will focus all of your heft onto your sit bones - your ischial tuberosities are two little bony protrustions from your pelvis. Soft, squishy saddles spread the weight off of your sit bones and all over everywhere, onto your soft tissue. When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses. When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. If you do this long enough, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore. While I doubt you're going to be sitting on your bike for 5 hours at a time, take it from a guy who knows - even an hour or two can be enough to, when you get home from your wife, have one of those "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!11" moments. Then sitting on a hard saddle doesn't seem so bad.
Click to expand...
Did anybody else read this like a DirecTV commercial?
When you use a soft bike saddle, it shifts your weight onto soft tissue.When you put weight on soft tissue it compresses.When you compress the soft tissue in your perineum one centimeter you cut off all blood flow to your penis. When you cut off blood flow to your penis, you develop scar tissue in your penis and you can't get a boner anymore.Don't not be able to get a boner anymore. Get a firm bike saddle.
Click to expand...
 
'Guster said:
'Disco Stu said:
'Disco Stu said:
Also tried a few times to make the first(?) on the water shot video but failed miserably.
Click to expand...
Uploaded the evidence...Take 1

Take 2

The only shots available were Jello. I don't think anyone here wants to see me use that much tongue anyway. Though I suppose you did just watch a dude piss... :shrug:
Click to expand...
:lmao: at the guy falling and then the look of pure disappointment on your face
Click to expand...
:lmao: That actually happens a few times every trip. Boat decks get slick. Imagine that. So far no one has been injured though.Another thing that happens every trip is the same 23 year old ends up with a red ### from all the spankings she takes (and loves). None come from me. And very few, if any, come from her husband. That won't end well.

 
'flysack said:
'Guster said:
'Disco Stu said:
'Disco Stu said:
Also tried a few times to make the first(?) on the water shot video but failed miserably.
Click to expand...
Take 2The only shots available were Jello. I don't think anyone here wants to see me use that much tongue anyway. Though I suppose you did just watch a dude piss... :shrug:
Click to expand...
Whhho just pinched me?Looks like that could have been a fun boat to be on
Click to expand...
Looks? All I saw were hot chicks and out of shape white dudes. It's like a beer commercial come true!
Click to expand...
:goodposting: You know the other thing that's like a beer commercial? (or strykerpiss's house?) All the beer.

 
'UniAlias said:
Throwing up warm whiskey on stage in front of everyone at the end of the night wasn't my finest moment.

You were definitely the Joe Nathan of beer pong. All I remember is that you were possibly older than two of the girls we were playing combined, and I kept calling one a stupid #### because she was mean. I think I may have also offended my black friend at some point. :unsure:

We should definitely do a Dallas cornhole sometime. Just no ####### warm whiskey shots.
Click to expand...
I think I remember that. You may have introduced him as "my black friend". :lol: And I'm not THAT OLD!!1 Or they weren't that young. Or both.

My girlfriend wasn't real happy about being ignored for three hours while I got plastered. She has only gotten mad at me three times in ~18 months. Two of those have been beer pong related in back to back weekends. Looking forward to buying a table for our new house. :thumbup:

 
Getting some interesting looks from folks in my neighborhood when applying weed/grass killer to the swales where I am replacing sod. One guy even asked if i knew I was using weed killer. I told him I picked up the wrong bottle. Gonna move on to light tilling until Saturday's sod delivery. :unsure:

 
'Osaurus said:
Getting some interesting looks from folks in my neighborhood when applying weed/grass killer to the swales where I am replacing sod. One guy even asked if i knew I was using weed killer. I told him I picked up the wrong bottle. Gonna move on to light tilling until Saturday's sod delivery. :unsure:
Click to expand...
Ask the sod guy when they are going to cut the sod for delivery. It should be within 24 hours of delivery.It should arrive wet. Its easier to load, transport and lay if its dried out, so that's usually what they will try and do. Don't let them. It needs to be soggy/wet and fresh.Also be sure and completely saturate your yard where it is to be laid. It should be muddy.
 
'cosjobs said:
'Osaurus said:
Getting some interesting looks from folks in my neighborhood when applying weed/grass killer to the swales where I am replacing sod. One guy even asked if i knew I was using weed killer. I told him I picked up the wrong bottle. Gonna move on to light tilling until Saturday's sod delivery. :unsure:
Click to expand...
Ask the sod guy when they are going to cut the sod for delivery. It should be within 24 hours of delivery.It should arrive wet. Its easier to load, transport and lay if its dried out, so that's usually what they will try and do. Don't let them. It needs to be soggy/wet and fresh.Also be sure and completely saturate your yard where it is to be laid. It should be muddy.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the tips. Local farm delivering it. Not my first sod laying rodeo.
 
'General Malaise said:
Going to make this tonight. Tell me that doesn't sound awesome!

Eagerly awaiting Chef Cosjobs suggested changes to the recipe....
Click to expand...
No grill? If you were doing this on the grill, I'd slather in yellow mustard and load up on your favorite rub. Last week I spatchcocked a bunch of chickens and that was fun too.I'd suggest putting some of your rub in the beer as well for steamy seasoned deliciousness.

 
'Notorious T.R.E. said:
'General Malaise said:
Going to make this tonight. Tell me that doesn't sound awesome!

Eagerly awaiting Chef Cosjobs suggested changes to the recipe....
Click to expand...
No grill? If you were doing this on the grill, I'd slather in yellow mustard and load up on your favorite rub. Last week I spatchcocked a bunch of chickens and that was fun too.I'd suggest putting some of your rub in the beer as well for steamy seasoned deliciousness.
Click to expand...
This.
 
One bonus feature of the boat is the "dance pole". Our group doesn't get too crazy with it, but it does get pretty popular after a few drinks.

My link

 
Last edited by a moderator:
'Notorious T.R.E. said:
'General Malaise said:
Going to make this tonight. Tell me that doesn't sound awesome!

Eagerly awaiting Chef Cosjobs suggested changes to the recipe....
Click to expand...
No grill? If you were doing this on the grill, I'd slather in yellow mustard and load up on your favorite rub. Last week I spatchcocked a bunch of chickens and that was fun too.I'd suggest putting some of your rub in the beer as well for steamy seasoned deliciousness.
Click to expand...
All I have right now is a little smoker, which can double as a grill in a pinch. It is not ideal for this endeavor. But in two more weeks, along with being able to mow my own yard, I will have a giant grill to work with again. :thumbup: I'll add some of the rub to the beer. That's a good idea. Going to pass on the yellow mustard. I like fancy moutards only.

 
'UOFI_316 said:
'Notorious T.R.E. said:
'General Malaise said:
Going to make this tonight. Tell me that doesn't sound awesome!

Eagerly awaiting Chef Cosjobs suggested changes to the recipe....
Click to expand...
No grill? If you were doing this on the grill, I'd slather in yellow mustard and load up on your favorite rub. Last week I spatchcocked a bunch of chickens and that was fun too.I'd suggest putting some of your rub in the beer as well for steamy seasoned deliciousness.
Click to expand...
This.
Click to expand...
Good tip. I bought a six-pack of Kona Longboard Lager for the bird. Just didn't feel right going with PBR or Highlife. I might add a little dry moustard to the rub.

 
A ping pong bar reminds me of the time I overheard a southern yokel (at a northeastern mexican restaurant of all places) ask the very mexicaned bartender if they had any of that "Asain beer, you know Ying-ling?". :mellow:

 
'Disco Stu said:
'General Malaise said:
'Disco Stu said:
One bonus feature of the boat is the "dance pole". Our group doesn't get too crazy with it, but it does get pretty popular after a few drinks.

My link
Click to expand...
If I go next year, can I keep my shirt on? :bag: Also, I hate you. In the jesus way.
Click to expand...
Sure thing. I don't own dark enough sunglasses to handle the brightness of a shirtless GM anyway.
Click to expand...
Maybe I could get you to spray tan me.Or I could just get a tattoo to cover my entire torso.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing
1856 1857 1858
Replies
93K
Views
3M
urbanhack
urbanhack
T
***Official 2014 GMTAN Draft Thread***
34 35 36
Replies
2K
Views
45K
El Floppo
El Floppo
Early_10
***Official*** Seinfeld draft thread
25 26 27
Replies
1K
Views
36K
The Dreaded Marco
The Dreaded Marco

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 43 (members: 0, guests: 43)
Back
Top