GM's thread about nothing (37 Viewers)

[flysack]

I was out enjoying the company of younger lady last night at a bar on the upper east side. I was having a great time when something unexpected happened. The girl I was with left me at the bar to use the restroom. When she left, the bartender and I had the following conversation:Her: "So are you going to get it in tonight?" Me: I was a bit shocked and said, "Not sure, but my magic 8 ball says all signs point to yes." Her: "Well you should, you're cute and seem like a gentleman."Me: "Thanks, appreciate that."Her: "And if she doesn't want it at the end of the night, I do."Me: Her" "Just saying, don't home alone tonight."At this point my date comes back. I debated whether telling her and did. My date was awesome about it, thought it was hilarious, and said it didn't surprise her. She said the bartender was going to have to wait for another night because I wasn't going home alone tonight.I feel good. And I don't care how many guys the bartender has said that to.Bartender was a 6.4.

Double down and go back to the bar tonight and tell the bartender your date was awful.

 

[General Malaise]

Oh, I thought I read it was the 90s in the first chapter. I must be mistaken. Makes more sense now.

Thanks, negro.

No, I think I remember the same thing.

It starts with the main character Xerxes in modern time, and progresses with a retrospect from his early life.

Either way it doesn't matter.My link

During the election in 08, when the usual cast were starting daily threads about alleged past transgressions/affiliations Obama, I started a thread proclaiming that there was indisputable evidence that Obama was a left handed negro. The mods deleted it and I got a lot of grief for calling O a negro. I was baffled. At one point in my life, negro was the preferred, non-racist term and I never got the memo that it changed.

Really? I'm pretty sure that word was considered racist even in the 1980s. It's a lesser hate than the n-word, but it's considered condescending and controversial all the same.

Yeah, I know. I got that memo too. I talked to my dad about it and we discussed changing it, but he felt like it was more authentic to leave it in there. Hope it doesn't offend. I've read worse. It's not a malicious use.

Oh hey - I'm all for fiction using non-PC words in the right context, GM. I was replying to cos, not judging your pop's work.Consistent use of a word like that by a character is an excellent index to their thought process and general make-up. It's a powerful tool for characterization.

 

[General Malaise]

"Give a tip to the bartender."

I'd like to get HJS' take on this, actually. How many guys she says this to a night? O/U 4?

I can safely say that's never happened to me.

 

[Jackstraw]

Though most of them aren’t much to write about—

mere squibs and nubs, like half-smoked pale cigars,

the tint and stink recalling Tuesday’s meal,

the texture loose and soon dissolved—this one,

struck off in solitude one afternoon

(that prairie stretch before the late light fails)

with no distinct sensation, sweet or pained,

of special inspiration or release,

was yet a masterpiece: a flawless coil,

unbroken, in the bowl, as if a potter

who worked in this most frail, least grateful clay

had set himself to shape a topaz vase.

O spiral perfection, not seashell nor

stardust, how can I keep you? With this poem.

John Updike

 

[heckmanm]

:slowclap:

 

[Tiger Fan]

Much thanks to those that hooked me with a waffle or demonoid account too. I downloaded some amazon kidnle software that just wirelessly sends stuff from my laptop to the kindle in a second. Pretty neat.

Do what now?

I rooted my Kindle Fire so I'm not running the stock software any longer.

There's software to send docs to your kindle from your laptop via wifi and the whispernet

Oh. Why did you need Demonoid for that?

I used demonoid to pull down about 1400 books. Then I look at reviews to see what looks good and send it to the kindle. wa la

I'd take a flash drive

On it.

Can you mail it to me after Cos?

 

[cosjobs]

Much thanks to those that hooked me with a waffle or demonoid account too. I downloaded some amazon kidnle software that just wirelessly sends stuff from my laptop to the kindle in a second. Pretty neat.

Do what now?

I rooted my Kindle Fire so I'm not running the stock software any longer.

There's software to send docs to your kindle from your laptop via wifi and the whispernet

Oh. Why did you need Demonoid for that?

I used demonoid to pull down about 1400 books. Then I look at reviews to see what looks good and send it to the kindle. wa la

I'd take a flash drive

On it.

Can you mail it to me after Cos?

Yeah, I'll add you to my list with Tanner and a couple other requests. Pm your address and be patient.

 

[cosjobs]

I stopped into a bar last night for an Irish Coffee. The waitress charged me $13. I told her that was by far the most expensive IC I had ever had. A few minutes later the manager came to my table and apologized and said the staff did not know how to ring them up and told me it was 7.50. So the waitress apologizes and I give her a twenty and she brings me back $12. I hate to cry over 50 cents, but christ, you just tried to overcharge me almost 100%, you could now at least give me correct change.

 

[General Malaise]

I stopped into a bar last night for an Irish Coffee. The waitress charged me $13. I told her that was by far the most expensive IC I had ever had. A few minutes later the manager came to my table and apologized and said the staff did not know how to ring them up and told me it was 7.50. So the waitress apologizes and I give her a twenty and she brings me back $12. I hate to cry over 50 cents, but christ, you just tried to overcharge me almost 100%, you could now at least give me correct change.

Did she at least call you "Skipper"?

 

[General Malaise]

Much thanks to those that hooked me with a waffle or demonoid account too. I downloaded some amazon kidnle software that just wirelessly sends stuff from my laptop to the kindle in a second. Pretty neat.

Do what now?

I rooted my Kindle Fire so I'm not running the stock software any longer.

There's software to send docs to your kindle from your laptop via wifi and the whispernet

Oh. Why did you need Demonoid for that?

I used demonoid to pull down about 1400 books. Then I look at reviews to see what looks good and send it to the kindle. wa la

I'd take a flash drive

On it.

Can you mail it to me after Cos?

Yeah, I'll add you to my list with Tanner and a couple other requests. Pm your address and be patient.

Boy, I'd love to give my wife some more books. She has plowed through that Nook you sent her. Best gift ever.

 

[Giant Wooden Badger]

Yeah, I'll add you to my list with Tanner and a couple other requests. Pm your address and be patient.

TRE could just put them all in a Dropbox public folder and then no mailing is necessary and everyone that wants them can get them.Or you guys can carry on with the Pony Express option.

 

[phishphan]

Yeah, I'll add you to my list with Tanner and a couple other requests. Pm your address and be patient.

TRE could just put them all in a Dropbox public folder and then no mailing is necessary and everyone that wants them can get them.Or you guys can carry on with the Pony Express option.

 

[General Malaise]

Yeah, I'll add you to my list with Tanner and a couple other requests. Pm your address and be patient.

TRE could just put them all in a Dropbox public folder and then no mailing is necessary and everyone that wants them can get them.Or you guys can carry on with the Pony Express option.

Assuming it goes into a drop box, how do I then get them into my wife's nook? (that sounded really dirty).

 

[Giant Wooden Badger]

Yeah, I'll add you to my list with Tanner and a couple other requests. Pm your address and be patient.

TRE could just put them all in a Dropbox public folder and then no mailing is necessary and everyone that wants them can get them.Or you guys can carry on with the Pony Express option.

Assuming it goes into a drop box, how do I then get them into my wife's nook? (that sounded really dirty).

Depends on the kind of Nook.You could just move them from Dropbox to your PC to your Nook if you have a USB cable for it.Or if it's a Nook Color you may be able to use the Dropbox app to move them directly if it has apps.

 

[Marvin]

I am calling upon the power of the GMTAN for a good cause. I will be riding in the MS150 bike ride at the end of the month to help raise money for Multiple Sclerosis research (I guess SLB's walk did not raise enough for them last year). I have a cousin who suffers from it and would love to no longer hear about her bad days.

If you can find it in your heart to donate.

Any and all shtick is welcome in your donor name. As an added bonus I will post a shot video this weekend if I can hit $300 by then (already at $220) and if you guys help me hit $500 I will be open to suggestions to add to the six foot orange flag I will be attaching to my bike.

Thanks in advance.

I promised a shot video if you helped me out, here you go. Pretty sure I forgot a few items, and my wife is already asleep so I couldn't go get all the shirts I wanted to wear. Since I managed to do this in one take, I did not resort to coloring in my nipples.My link

@ the pillow

 

[Guster]

Hanging out at Thorn's place before I have to go to my buddy's rehearsal dinner. He just left for a happy hour. Might have to do a shot video in a minute

 

[Sweet J]

I was out enjoying the company of younger lady last night at a bar on the upper east side. I was having a great time when something unexpected happened. The girl I was with left me at the bar to use the restroom. When she left, the bartender and I had the following conversation:Her: "So are you going to get it in tonight?" Me: I was a bit shocked and said, "Not sure, but my magic 8 ball says all signs point to yes." Her: "Well you should, you're cute and seem like a gentleman."Me: "Thanks, appreciate that."Her: "And if she doesn't want it at the end of the night, I do."Me: Her" "Just saying, don't home alone tonight."At this point my date comes back. I debated whether telling her and did. My date was awesome about it, thought it was hilarious, and said it didn't surprise her. She said the bartender was going to have to wait for another night because I wasn't going home alone tonight.I feel good. And I don't care how many guys the bartender has said that to.Bartender was a 6.4.

Holy crap. I hate you all.

 

[flysack]

Hanging out at Thorn's place before I have to go to my buddy's rehearsal dinner. He just left for a happy hour. Might have to do a shot video in a minute

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Hanging out at Thorn's place before I have to go to my buddy's rehearsal dinner. He just left for a happy hour. Might have to do a shot video in a minute

Just have sex.

 

[-fish-]

Going out with my next ex wife tonight.

 

[Osaurus]

HFS is it raining in Tampa. Not gonna have to scrape much sod away as it has mostly washed away. Here are some before pics with weed/grass killer applications. I think I am ready.

Swale 1

Swale 2-1

Swale 2-2

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

 

[Frostillicus]

 

[KGB]

[*]Cat pillow

[*]GMDAD book, will buy next week

[*]So you want to publish a book?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/seller-account/mm-summary-page.html?ie=UTF8&ld=AZFooterSelfPublish&topic=200260520

[*]wtf with the dead grass? Are you trying to grow it or kill it? Why?

 

[kevzilla]

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

 

[Bogart]

Good morning GMTAN.

Lots to do today, maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond, if there's time.

 

[bentley]

Good morning GMTAN. Lots to do today, maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond, if there's time.

ROCK ONBeen cleaning up toddler barf since 3 am. Taking a break to get a new set of tires on AngryWife's car. I might also buy some stamps. Only 12 more hours until the boys are in bed. Think I'm going to have to Irish up my coffee when I get home.

 

[cosjobs]

Good morning GMTAN. Lots to do today, maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond, if there's time.

ROCK ONBeen cleaning up toddler barf since 3 am. Taking a break to get a new set of tires on AngryWife's car. I might also buy some stamps. Only 12 more hours until the boys are in bed. Think I'm going to have to Irish up my coffee when I get home.

Want to come over for breakfast?

 

[bentley]

Good morning GMTAN. Lots to do today, maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond, if there's time.

ROCK ONBeen cleaning up toddler barf since 3 am. Taking a break to get a new set of tires on AngryWife's car. I might also buy some stamps. Only 12 more hours until the boys are in bed. Think I'm going to have to Irish up my coffee when I get home.

Want to come over for breakfast?

I would love to but I think it would cause an immediate divorce filing. So, I'm considering...

 

[cosjobs]

Good morning GMTAN. Lots to do today, maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond, if there's time.

ROCK ONBeen cleaning up toddler barf since 3 am. Taking a break to get a new set of tires on AngryWife's car. I might also buy some stamps. Only 12 more hours until the boys are in bed. Think I'm going to have to Irish up my coffee when I get home.

Want to come over for breakfast?

I would love to but I think it would cause an immediate divorce filing. So, I'm considering...

You could drop car ar Costco or DTW for tires while we brunch

 

[bostonfred]

sick wife, sick toddler, and lots of errands. Line me up next to bentley for the firing squad

 

[kevzilla]

No wife, no kids. Going to see Prometheus tonight; one of my oldest friends is in town, and has managed to wriggle away from his wife and kid for an evening.

We saw the original Alien together over 30 years ago, with our faces melting off. I trust the details are unnecessary. We did the same thing with Blade Runner, so we have a bond with each other and Ridley Scott that is difficult to explain. It will be a considerably more low-key affair tonight, though I must point out that Austin has movie theaters with full bars and restaurants.

 

[Bogart]

Will Will Smith ever go on tour again? Surely Jazzy Jeff needs the money.

 

[Guster]

It's 11:30 the morning after hanging out with Thorn and I'm still drunk.

ETA: and he's still asleep

 

[Bogart]

Got a haircut, got a smoothie and now at the office playing catch up and scanning business cards into cardmunch on my iPhone.

Living the life.

Planning on hitting the gym, maybe getting the car washed. Comedy show tonight if I feel like driving to Frisco (and paying for it this time.)

 

[Guster]

Got a haircut, got a smoothie and now at the office playing catch up and scanning business cards into cardmunch on my iPhone. Living the life.Planning on hitting the gym, maybe getting the car washed. Comedy show tonight if I feel like driving to Frisco (and paying for it this time.)

These are all euphemisms, right?

 

[Osaurus]

Post-sod time is feeling like 4 hours of Insanity. I can barely move my arms above my head. Fortunately I showered and got the wetsuit of dirt I was wearing off (2 soapings). It's all in and looks great. I am having lunch in Tampa and buying booze afterwards on my way home. That should help.

ETA: A pallet of sod is 400 SF.

 

[Angry Beavers]

hit the gym early, tutoring a kid in math, onto coach a ballgame and then off to dinner with the wife while the kids sleep at a friends house.. with any luck

 

[Marvin]

It's 11:30 the morning after hanging out with Thorn and I'm still drunk. ETA: and he's still asleep

He didn't wake up when you got out of the bed?

 

[Guster]

It's 11:30 the morning after hanging out with Thorn and I'm still drunk. ETA: and he's still asleep

He didn't wake up when you got out of the bed?

He didn't wake up until some lady was pounding on his bedroom window with a snow shovel

 

[St. Louis Bob]

:hipplingBM:

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So, not really cash at all then.

I have not made a final decision. Cash would be easiest. But I want to do the gift card so that my friend can use it on tools and manly stuff and not have his wife spend it on bed skirts and pink hand towels.I can just as easily up the gift card value if that's what's called for.

I like this but weddings are really expensive. I'm guessing they'll spend WAY more than $75 for you two to be there. Just a FYI. I once got ripped for giving a couple $150 and that was 15 years ago....

 

[flysack]

Cirque du soleil tonight. Certain to blow a five year old's mind.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Looks like I'm doing the nakkid bike ride again on Saturday.

Padded seat?

Any seat?

So, Marv. Since you're reading the fifty shades of horny, any insight into the 'silver balls'? I have heard them referenced recently....

I never finished the first book. Wife read all 3 with no real positive results. While I am disappointed I am also fairly proud of her.

I understand this sentiment. That being said, I am also proud of my wife.

I am calling upon the power of the GMTAN for a good cause. I will be riding in the MS150 bike ride at the end of the month to help raise money for Multiple Sclerosis research (I guess SLB's walk did not raise enough for them last year). I have a cousin who suffers from it and would love to no longer hear about her bad days.

If you can find it in your heart to donate.

Any and all shtick is welcome in your donor name. As an added bonus I will post a shot video this weekend if I can hit $300 by then (already at $220) and if you guys help me hit $500 I will be open to suggestions to add to the six foot orange flag I will be attaching to my bike.

Thanks in advance.

Just a pity bump for me.

I am risking severe penis scarring, all you guys have to do is donate a little money to a good cause.

Done

 

[-fish-]

Going out with my next ex wife tonight.

That went well. Got home at 10 am. I think she's the one.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I had heard of men who actually had turned down their wives for sex, but I've never done and was pretty convinced I never would. At this point, however, she's wearing me out. I'm not actually going to turn her down or anything, partially because I'd have to punch myself in the face and partially because I'm afraid to do anything to change what's been going on the last month and a half, but good lord. And yes, this is probably partially bragging but really I'm tired and I don't really have anybody else to talk to about this kind of stuff, so you nerds will have to do.

Man I hear you. One night at the cabin Mrs. SLB moaned "I want to scream so bad" but she knew she couldn't because my parents were in the room above us. I threw in a "you do and I'll choke you to death" for good measure.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

You'll always have the geese. I love you.

BTW are we still aloud to crockpot to pics of the 22 YO? What is protocol here?

Yes, but you must do so quietly.[/smoo]

And in a jiffy.

Is there a word for the constant fear that when you have your phone on mute it's not really muted? I have this all the time. Currently worried that while I'm on a conference call with all the folks back in the US who are making decisions that immediately affect our company's future, they're listening to the room-service chick with the lovely French accent thoroughly explain the five cheeses on my cheese plate to me and offer me a tasting of my bottle of wine.

Oh yeah. I'm constantly checking to make sure the thing is off.

I'm headed to bed. And then to Bob's nape of the woods, neck of the wape... whatever... to bury Grandma Sac. 86 good years. And then 2 more. Past due imo. :toast:

:( Sorry to hear GB. Glad to hear she had 86 good ones though.

 

[krista4]

I think I'm just going to Kripple the SLB Hipple.

Sorry for your loss, other Bob. Sorry for your gain, fish.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Dear GMTAN Friends -

It has been a lifelong dream of my father's to publish a book. He wrote his first book at Rollins College in the 60's as a freshman and upon learning that nobody was interested in picking it up and publishing it, he got drunk, lit the manuscript on fire, threw it in the sewer and transferred at the end of the year to Texas. He quit writing and picked up heavy drinking and poker. Then one day during his senior year, carrying a very Bluto like 0.0 GPA, he crashed his car into another while carrying a very Bluto like 3.0 BAC, fled the scene, fled the state, joined the Army, went AWOL after boot camp, was captured, went to the brig, got out and spent 3 years in Germany where he got his life together and fell in love with my mother, who was spending her junior year in college in Paris.

Over the years, he spent the bulk of his life working as an accountant, fathering his two kids and drinking copious amounts of Bud Leaded. A very quiet man who always takes a back seat to my outgoing and charismatic mother, he furtively went back to his inkwell and started crafting another novel. Late last year, he sent me the manuscript and asked me to read it, edit it and help him get it into print. Thanks to the modern age of technology and with the help of my good buddy Jefferson The Caregiver, who guided us every step of the way in the world of self publishing, my dad's dream is finally realized.

I won't champion this book as a page-turning, Pulitzer Prize destined read, but I'm quite proud of the old man and would love it if just a few copies found their way into Kindles or Nooks or even bookshelves for those of us who still like the feel of turning paper pages. For those so inclined, you can find his book at both Barnes & Noble and Amazon. You can find a description of the book, but thus far, no reviews. I liked it quite a bit, but I'm very biased.

Thanks,

GM

Very, very, cool. I forwarded it to Mrs. SLB. I'll have her read it to me at night while she give me HJ's.