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GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

hey flysack>look at you getting all shark poolish earlier today big guy
Meh, it was a pretty good article. I thought I'd feed it to them and see how they'd use it to ream each other. It's pretty typical. You even have one clown in there arguing that the pro bowl means something.
 
My wife got a weird voicemail at about 5:30 AM this morning from some hillbilly named Roy D Mercer saying he was our neighbor and was pissed that she said a bad word to his son for walking in our yard. I looked up the name and I guess it's some radio station prank call gag from Tulsa.

Why would they call from a private line then bother leaving a message with no return number?

 
My wife got a weird voicemail at about 5:30 AM this morning from some hillbilly named Roy D Mercer saying he was our neighbor and was pissed that she said a bad word to his son for walking in our yard. I looked up the name and I guess it's some radio station prank call gag from Tulsa. Why would they call from a private line then bother leaving a message with no return number?
Roy D Mercer has his own Wikipedia page. Pretty fancy connection you got there.
 
This might sound gay (no offense Tanner) but do any of you guys shave your chest? And I imagine if you do it once you must have to continually do it for the rest of your life or until you stop caring what you look like? This sounds like something Otis would start a thread about and if there is an existing thread about it please point it out and I will gayly move on.
Shuke and I had a lengthy manscaping discussion when we cornholed, mostly directed at the southern regions. Regardless, the rule applies here. Yes, once you start you can never stop. So make sure you can deal with it before you take that step.
 
My wife got a weird voicemail at about 5:30 AM this morning from some hillbilly named Roy D Mercer saying he was our neighbor and was pissed that she said a bad word to his son for walking in our yard. I looked up the name and I guess it's some radio station prank call gag from Tulsa. Why would they call from a private line then bother leaving a message with no return number?
I would be happy to be part of the team to extract a delicious prank revenge on the offending DJ. WTF does he think he's messing with?
 
Tanner>Hi

If it’s your goal for me to not have my basic emotional needs met and never be able to connect people around me and end up living alone in a studio apartment in Bakersfield eating Chef Boyardee directly out of the can, we’re on the right track. But if you’d like me to grow up to be a scholar, please hold me for most of the day.
 
Tanner>Hi

If it’s your goal for me to not have my basic emotional needs met and never be able to connect people around me and end up living alone in a studio apartment in Bakersfield eating Chef Boyardee directly out of the can, we’re on the right track. But if you’d like me to grow up to be a scholar, please hold me for most of the day.
Wakka wakka wakka!
 
This might sound gay (no offense Tanner) but do any of you guys shave your chest? And I imagine if you do it once you must have to continually do it for the rest of your life or until you stop caring what you look like? This sounds like something Otis would start a thread about and if there is an existing thread about it please point it out and I will gayly move on.
Soooooo yeah, I made my first appearance at the neighborhood pool yesterday. It was, uh, interesting. There was an unreal amount of super hot women wearing bikinis. These chicks really hit the gym. Included in this is Mary-Beth-Sue-Bob who just looked freaking incredible. Her bikini bottoms (SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!!) were kept on with a loosely tied string that looked like it could come untied at any time. Her husband was there too and he is built like a lumberjack. All of the guys must spend a crazy amount of time in the gym. I have pretty decent sized arms and was one of the smallest guys there. I was also the only guy that doesn't shave his chest. This will not change. And these people drink. Oh do these people drink. I was keeping up with them beer for beer and I think I had 14 beers in 3 hours. This was the guys and the chicks drinking this much. Mary-Beth-Sue-Bob made a comment about how her and her husband, Bill, will stay up drinking until 6 AM sometimes. Anyhow, I was eagerly welcomed to "the group" and it all seemed pretty surreal. It actually reminded me a lot of The Devil's Advocate. The women were a little touchy (Marvin, this was the good kind) and flirty. The guys called me bro, asked for business cards so they could buy from me and invited me to their houses for booze. One guy kept saying "I really like you Bob. I really do. You're very cool." Then swinging and sex was brought up. This smoking hot Asian broad said she just bought some anal beads and there was "sex parties" pretty much every week in the subdivision. Mrs. SLB asked for an invite. Then the Asian gal turns to a guy sitting next to her, which coincidentally was a former furniture vendor of mine, and says "didn't your wife buy a strap on?" He turns beet red and quickly denied it. That's when the guy next to me, Nick, who is from the UK, muttered something about "I'll try anything once". Early in the day I told Nick I noticed he had an accent and if he was from Canada. He politely said "No, England actually". :lmao: I kill me. Towards the end of the evening Bill went home and grabbed 6 slabs of ribs off of his BGE, some pasta salad and God knows what else, to feed everybody. That's good eating. So I'm told this happens pretty much every Friday night. I'm not sure how I feel about all of this.
 
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Tanner>Hi

If it’s your goal for me to not have my basic emotional needs met and never be able to connect people around me and end up living alone in a studio apartment in Bakersfield eating Chef Boyardee directly out of the can, we’re on the right track. But if you’d like me to grow up to be a scholar, please hold me for most of the day.
Wakka wakka wakka!
:lmao: I really want to see this city. It can't be that bad, can it?

 
Tanner>Hi

If it’s your goal for me to not have my basic emotional needs met and never be able to connect people around me and end up living alone in a studio apartment in Bakersfield eating Chef Boyardee directly out of the can, we’re on the right track. But if you’d like me to grow up to be a scholar, please hold me for most of the day.
Wakka wakka wakka!
:lmao: I really want to see this city. It can't be that bad, can it?
It's not. Thanks to Johnny Carson it became a target.
 
Tanner>Hi

If it’s your goal for me to not have my basic emotional needs met and never be able to connect people around me and end up living alone in a studio apartment in Bakersfield eating Chef Boyardee directly out of the can, we’re on the right track. But if you’d like me to grow up to be a scholar, please hold me for most of the day.
Wakka wakka wakka!
:lmao: I really want to see this city. It can't be that bad, can it?
It's not. Thanks to Johnny Carson it became a target.
It's pretty bad. I've been there.Burbank isn't much better, however.

 
I found this flyer in my mailbox this morning.

This is worse than hearing Crazy Train on teh :honda: TV commercials. They day I hear Ice-T 6 In The Mornin pimping Dunkin Donuts or McDonald's breakfast sandwiches will be when I officially check out. But this is close.

ETA

GPJ, you with me here?

 
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I'm drunkover with an 8 hour day ahead of me. Can one of you please bring something to the table?
I bought some smoked salmon for lunch Tuesday and didn't have time to eat it all so I stuck the remaining piece in the fridge. I was at home with the boys yesterday and need to leave on calls downtown in a minute so I needed to have it for lunch today. I hated to heat it up because I knew it would stink like all get out but I threw in the ultrafast oven of the future for 30 seconds and ahola, hot smoked salmon. Now I try to be a considerate guy so I brought a can of Lysol to the kitchen with me and gave everything a mighty spray before my departure to my office.A few minutes ago, my personal assistant/secretary, whatever, comes into my office and says "are you kidding me?!!" You made the whole kitchen smell like the women's bathroom back at (the place we used to work)!!" lol
 
Why would they call from a private line then bother leaving a message with no return number?
SERIOUSLY??
Yes, explain the reason.
Hey GB...Our baseball season ended last night. We were the Reds. I've got a really nice Reds hat with a black bill that's a little too big for me. I'll throw it in the dishwasher and mail it to you if you want it. Or any other Reds fan out there that might want a free hat.

 
Tanner - this is for you. The receptionist of my VP is a Canadian hipster chick and she just had a baby. The name? Oona Esperanza

 
I'm drunkover with an 8 hour day ahead of me. Can one of you please bring something to the table?
I bought some smoked salmon for lunch Tuesday and didn't have time to eat it all so I stuck the remaining piece in the fridge. I was at home with the boys yesterday and need to leave on calls downtown in a minute so I needed to have it for lunch today. I hated to heat it up because I knew it would stink like all get out but I threw in the ultrafast oven of the future for 30 seconds and ahola, hot smoked salmon. Now I try to be a considerate guy so I brought a can of Lysol to the kitchen with me and gave everything a mighty spray before my departure to my office.A few minutes ago, my personal assistant/secretary, whatever, comes into my office and says "are you kidding me?!!" You made the whole kitchen smell like the women's bathroom back at (the place we used to work)!!" lol
:lmao:
 
Watched Tommyboy with the wife and boys last night as they had their last day of school and last baseball game...perfect night to make buffalo steak nachos and goof off. That movie holds up really well for pure comedy. Spade and Farley played off each other brilliantly; though the movie Black Sheep is horrendous. My sons were rolling, even though they probably missed a handful of the jokes.

 
Watched Tommyboy with the wife and boys last night as they had their last day of school and last baseball game...perfect night to make buffalo steak nachos and goof off. That movie holds up really well for pure comedy. Spade and Farley played off each other brilliantly; though the movie Black Sheep is horrendous. My sons were rolling, even though they probably missed a handful of the jokes.
DIAF
 
Tanner>Hi

If it’s your goal for me to not have my basic emotional needs met and never be able to connect people around me and end up living alone in a studio apartment in Bakersfield eating Chef Boyardee directly out of the can, we’re on the right track. But if you’d like me to grow up to be a scholar, please hold me for most of the day.
Wakka wakka wakka!
:lmao: I really want to see this city. It can't be that bad, can it?
It's not. Thanks to Johnny Carson it became a target.
It's pretty bad. I've been there.Burbank isn't much better, however.
Now Burbank I know. I passed through there five days a week for 2 years. It may be suburban/corporate hell, but at least Burbank as a thriving porn industry.

Hey Tanner, maybe this is what Bakersfield needs. You were looking to change professions, to make more money, to do exciting things in your line of work. Try Smut Lord of Bakersfield. Listen to it roll off the tongue. It's like poetry.

 
Tanner>Hi

If it’s your goal for me to not have my basic emotional needs met and never be able to connect people around me and end up living alone in a studio apartment in Bakersfield eating Chef Boyardee directly out of the can, we’re on the right track. But if you’d like me to grow up to be a scholar, please hold me for most of the day.
Wakka wakka wakka!
:lmao: I really want to see this city. It can't be that bad, can it?
It's not. Thanks to Johnny Carson it became a target.
It's pretty bad. I've been there.Burbank isn't much better, however.
Now Burbank I know. I passed through there five days a week for 2 years. It may be suburban/corporate hell, but at least Burbank as a thriving porn industry.

Hey Tanner, maybe this is what Bakersfield needs. You were looking to change professions, to make more money, to do exciting things in your line of work. Try Smut Lord of Bakersfield. Listen to it roll off the tongue. It's like poetry.
Look at Me! I did porn!!!!
 
In San Antonio for a conference today and tomorrow. The internal struggle between wheels off intoxicated piano bar bentley and underslept father of two that would appreciate a good night's rest bentley has begun.

Also, I'm dressed like a cowboy.

 
In San Antonio for a conference today and tomorrow. The internal struggle between wheels off intoxicated piano bar bentley and underslept father of two that would appreciate a good night's rest bentley has begun.Also, I'm dressed like a cowboy.
I went to bed last night when the kids did...at 9:30. It was glorious.But I still vote for piano bar bentley.
 
Watched Tommyboy with the wife and boys last night as they had their last day of school and last baseball game...perfect night to make buffalo steak nachos and goof off. That movie holds up really well for pure comedy. Spade and Farley played off each other brilliantly; though the movie Black Sheep is horrendous. My sons were rolling, even though they probably missed a handful of the jokes.
DIAF
:confused: Die in a fire?

 
'General Malaise said:
Watched Tommyboy with the wife and boys last night as they had their last day of school and last baseball game...perfect night to make buffalo steak nachos and goof off. That movie holds up really well for pure comedy. Spade and Farley played off each other brilliantly; though the movie Black Sheep is horrendous. My sons were rolling, even though they probably missed a handful of the jokes.
One of my all time favorite movies. Some great sales lessons in there as well. The first time I saw the gas station scene "What'd you do?!" made me quite literally cry.
 
'Drifter said:
Tanner - this is for you. The receptionist of my VP is a Canadian hipster chick and she just had a baby. The name? Oona Esperanza
That name literally translates (from Gaelic and Spanish :loco: ) into "One Hope".
 

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