GM's thread about nothing (27 Viewers)

[Mr. Pickles]

Yeah, she let me blast on her face like a Jackson Pollack painting..

 

[Bamboo Bill]

My wife thinks she's pregnant again, very early.

Mine too. She is adamant about it.

If you stare at those tests long enough, it's pretty easy to imagine that second line.Congrats-ish GB. How old is your first now? I think we're on parallel paths here.

He just turned one. Just had three shots and a hemoglobin test today. Good times at Casa de Pickles.

Ah yes. Shot days. Awesome.The first year is pretty boring. 12-16 months were a trip. When they start talking and getting personalities, it feels like an awesome new alias joining the FFA. Way more entertaining. GL

Good job you guys.

 

[Disco Stu]

Yeah, she let me blast on her face like a Jackson Pollack painting..

Guy did some solid work there. Not Pollack, Thomas. The only thing I question is why not choke her? Don't be such a ninny.

 

[Tiger Fan]

I will be working from home all morning, so I'd appreciate if you guys would wake up and humor me in here.Stu (or any other GMTANers)- The next three weeks (except this weekend), I'll provide accommodations for less than half price for anyone who wants to come check the place out and help me ensure were are ready for full priced customers. I will provide private room/bath for two, airport pickup, daily transportation to one event per day (i.e., take you to sixth st. or where ever and pick up up at the end of your revelry), full breakfast and one other meal or box lunch. Early or late happy hour with lots of wine alos provided daily GMTAN rate $100/nite for two, two night min. This package will be $250-500/night during ACL.I hope I am not offending anyone's sensibilities here by pimping this here.

Hey Cos - was just looking at your website to take a look, I couldn't find an address...would be key to have so people can make sure they know how far they will be from certain events.Just my $.02

 

[Disco Stu]

Stu - Pleasure seeing you again this weekend. I was pretty out of it, but I think it was mostly tame. Hopefully next time we'll have the opportunity to do shots and other stupid things.

Thanks for the invite. Been a long time since I've been to a party that was broken up by the cops. I also enjoyed the numerous blondes in shorts and sports bras.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Do you think snoop made any money from increasing the sales of cool water cologne in the 90s?

 

[General Malaise]

My wife thinks she's pregnant again, very early. (She had a miscarriage a few months ago and had been in a baby craze ever since). This will be our second. She told me just before I left for the dentist this morning to get a chip in my tooth fixed. It turns out that not having dental insurance isn't the worst thing, because dental visits so far, which are very rare, cost like a hundred bucks. What a racket this dental insurance stuff is.

I came home and in an act of solidarity just polished off a full bottle of pinot grigio myself, which is a really crappy "Vampire Vineyards" wine that's left over from two mixed cases we bought off Woot not that long ago. Midway through the bottle I had to do a work call with a client in Tokyo. The good thing about that is I can slur my speech and nobody on that call really recognizes it. My wife now went to bed, I'm polishing off the last remnants of the bottle and watching Shark Week. I may try to get up early in the morning to go for a run before work, but then again I say that every night around this time, and I'm lucky if I do it once a week. That's why I'm 20lbs overweight and lazy as ever.

Salud FFA.

Judd's good friend Q was the very first person to tell that Shark Week was code for when your wife was on her period. I had no idea. All this time when guys were saying it was "Shark Week" I thought it was about some Discovery Channel show.

Otis, I haven't gone for a run since my daughter was born almost a month ago. Not. Good. And now? It's just too hot to run outside when I want to do it. So I drink cold beers instead. I'm going to be a blimp soon.

 

[General Malaise]

My wife thinks she's pregnant again, very early. (She had a miscarriage a few months ago and had been in a baby craze ever since). This will be our second. She told me just before I left for the dentist this morning to get a chip in my tooth fixed. It turns out that not having dental insurance isn't the worst thing, because dental visits so far, which are very rare, cost like a hundred bucks. What a racket this dental insurance stuff is.

I came home and in an act of solidarity just polished off a full bottle of pinot grigio myself, which is a really crappy "Vampire Vineyards" wine that's left over from two mixed cases we bought off Woot not that long ago. Midway through the bottle I had to do a work call with a client in Tokyo. The good thing about that is I can slur my speech and nobody on that call really recognizes it. My wife now went to bed, I'm polishing off the last remnants of the bottle and watching Shark Week. I may try to get up early in the morning to go for a run before work, but then again I say that every night around this time, and I'm lucky if I do it once a week. That's why I'm 20lbs overweight and lazy as ever.

Salud FFA.

Judd's good friend Q was the very first person to tell that Shark Week was code for when your wife was on her period. I had no idea. All this time when guys were saying it was "Shark Week" I thought it was about some Discovery Channel show.

Otis, I haven't gone for a run since my daughter was born almost a month ago. Not. Good. And now? It's just too hot to run outside when I want to do it. So I drink cold beers instead. I'm going to be a blimp soon.

SOON????Figured that low hanging fruit would get plucked in a hurry.

 

[General Malaise]

As a father of two, I just want to thank God one more time for the guy that invented the vasectomy.

Got mine right away after two.

SCREW YOU GUYS!

 

[General Malaise]

So tonight the wife and I are going to dinner and we see a woman wearing a blouse similar to this but much tackier. (it's a blouse with a big-### tiger on it).

Wife: Damn, she sure does have a tiger on her shirt.

Me: Yep. That's one big ugly tiger blouse.

Wife: I wonder if she wore that to work today or put it on later.

Me: I'm not sure which would be worse.

Wife: Maybe she has a friend from the internet who has that same exact blouse and they both wear them and send pictures of themselves wearing the tiger shirt to each other.

Me:

Wife: We could have just driven by Tiger Blouse Kim.

Me:

 

[General Malaise]

angrier than Marge Schott was paying millions of dollars to Eric Davis,

Be honest, how much more time did you put into that then your actual work??

I've been working a lot at work, which is good since it's work and it's what I'm paid to do. And I've also been really busy at home with in-laws and new baby and kids and coaching and yard work (something I didn't have for four years). I always enjoyed the creative outlet this site offered me and though I'm extremely guilty of droning on and on with too many words, I haven't had the time to unleash my faux talents on ya'll so yesterday, upon reaching a point where I couldn't look at my work any longer, I started writing. And once I started, I couldn't stop. I was going to do updates of Frosty and Bogart and Fish but realized I had to stop before I hit-replied you all with a manifesto. Anyhow...felt good to write a bunch of drivel and I'd be embarrassed if I knew how much time I actually spent on it.

 

[Sarnoff]

Wife: We could have just driven by Tiger Blouse Kim.Me:

 

[YSR]

Marvin> hey

 

[King_Kelly]

Cosjobs - In for auction leeg? If so, please PM me your email address.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

Marvin> hey

 

[General Malaise]

Stu - Pleasure seeing you again this weekend. I was pretty out of it, but I think it was mostly tame. Hopefully next time we'll have the opportunity to do shots and other stupid things.

Thanks for the invite. Been a long time since I've been to a party that was broken up by the cops. I also enjoyed the numerous blondes in shorts and sports bras.

I gotta start hanging out with this UniAlias fella.

 

[Disco Stu]

Stu - Pleasure seeing you again this weekend. I was pretty out of it, but I think it was mostly tame. Hopefully next time we'll have the opportunity to do shots and other stupid things.

Thanks for the invite. Been a long time since I've been to a party that was broken up by the cops. I also enjoyed the numerous blondes in shorts and sports bras.

I gotta start hanging out with this UniAlias fella.

Plus he looks like a homeless.Additional notes:

A. Second from left was one of the hottest girls I've ever seen, or at least I was convinced of this fact at the time. That specific time was 10 hours after I started drinking, and 10 seconds after she exited the slip and slide. So very sweet and clean.

2. Sunday activities included meticulous glitter removal from my cooler, front seats, and jeans.

 

[General Malaise]

I always sit up and pay attention when Stu posts pics. My goodness.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

I always sit up and pay attention when Stu posts pics. My goodness.

Man I need to get laid.

 

[-fish-]

Felix = perfect game.

 

[General Malaise]

I always sit up and pay attention when Stu posts pics. My goodness.

Man I need to get laid.

You and me both. I may not have a lamp shade around my neck or a festering wound on my skull, but the only restaurant I'm allowed to frequent has been closed since mid-July and doesn't open again until the end of this month (or so I'm told....if I had to make love to me, I'd lie about how long my verginer was on the DL too).

 

[General Malaise]

Felix = perfect game.

Well that should vault my fantasy baseball team from 13th into 12th.

 

[Disco Stu]

I always sit up and pay attention when Stu posts pics. My goodness.

"Who's going to drive Stu home? His keys are in the trophy..."

 

[Sheriff Bart]

I always sit up and pay attention when Stu posts pics. My goodness.

Man I need to get laid.

You and me both. I may not have a lamp shade around my neck or a festering wound on my skull, but the only restaurant I'm allowed to frequent has been closed since mid-July and doesn't open again until the end of this month (or so I'm told....if I had to make love to me, I'd lie about how long my verginer was on the DL too).

Oof, kind of forgot about that. T&P's. Last time I got any was on my anniversary and due to massive amounts of alcohol I didn't finish. The next day I told her it wasn't fair that she got to finish twice and I didn't once. She game me one of these . So I questioned her results and she said she didn't fully finish twice. So I broke my neck.

I always sit up and pay attention when Stu posts pics. My goodness.

"Who's going to drive Stu home? His keys are in the trophy..."

 

[-fish-]

I always sit up and pay attention when Stu posts pics. My goodness.

Man I need to get laid.

You and me both. I may not have a lamp shade around my neck or a festering wound on my skull, but the only restaurant I'm allowed to frequent has been closed since mid-July and doesn't open again until the end of this month (or so I'm told....if I had to make love to me, I'd lie about how long my verginer was on the DL too).

you should at least be allowed to get a bite to eat from a taco truck.

 

[Sarnoff]

Felix = perfect game.

Caught the last inning when I stumbled across the news elsewhere. Is there an app somewhere that'll text me if a game is perfect through 7 or something else crazy is happening?

 

[-fish-]

Felix = perfect game.

Caught the last inning when I stumbled across the news elsewhere. Is there an app somewhere that'll text me if a game is perfect through 7 or something else crazy is happening?

you could probably just get one of the baseball nerds in here to text you.

 

[cosjobs]

I will be working from home all morning, so I'd appreciate if you guys would wake up and humor me in here.Stu (or any other GMTANers)- The next three weeks (except this weekend), I'll provide accommodations for less than half price for anyone who wants to come check the place out and help me ensure were are ready for full priced customers. I will provide private room/bath for two, airport pickup, daily transportation to one event per day (i.e., take you to sixth st. or where ever and pick up up at the end of your revelry), full breakfast and one other meal or box lunch. Early or late happy hour with lots of wine alos provided daily GMTAN rate $100/nite for two, two night min. This package will be $250-500/night during ACL.I hope I am not offending anyone's sensibilities here by pimping this here.

Hey Cos - was just looking at your website to take a look, I couldn't find an address...would be key to have so people can make sure they know how far they will be from certain events.Just my $.02

Appreciate it TF. Maelstrom here is rebuilding the site so we may have a few glitches over the next week.I will also be listing it on airbnb, home away and vrbo next week and those sites get tons more traffic than I will ever get at my site.

 

[cosjobs]

Cosjobs - In for auction leeg? If so, please PM me your email address.

can I host it?

 

[King_Kelly]

Cosjobs - In for auction leeg? If so, please PM me your email address.

can I host it?

Right now the plan is 3rd Base Round Rock but I think the boys would be up for a change. The guys from Dallas like to enjoy themselves in the cosjobs way, so they would probably like the privacy. What would the deal be on food? We could BYOB for the booze.

 

[UniAlias]

Stu - Pleasure seeing you again this weekend. I was pretty out of it, but I think it was mostly tame. Hopefully next time we'll have the opportunity to do shots and other stupid things.

Thanks for the invite. Been a long time since I've been to a party that was broken up by the cops. I also enjoyed the numerous blondes in shorts and sports bras.

I gotta start hanging out with this UniAlias fella.

Plus he looks like a homeless.Additional notes:

A. Second from left was one of the hottest girls I've ever seen, or at least I was convinced of this fact at the time. That specific time was 10 hours after I started drinking, and 10 seconds after she exited the slip and slide. So very sweet and clean.

2. Sunday activities included meticulous glitter removal from my cooler, front seats, and jeans.

1. I talked to one girl the next day who said she woke up under the dining room table cuddled with another girl on the team she barely knew.

II. I ended up drinking scotch until 6:30AM.. 18 hours of continuous boozing made for a pretty awful Sunday. No wonder I look homeless.

 

[UniAlias]

Oh and GM -> Big fan of Portland. Considering moving there someday. Will probably be visiting again in the next few months if you want to get really drunk and shoot fireworks and stuff.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Felix = perfect game.

Caught the last inning when I stumbled across the news elsewhere. Is there an app somewhere that'll text me if a game is perfect through 7 or something else crazy is happening?

Sign up for texts from ESPN. They sent one when he was perfect thru 8.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

Why do chicks dig scars?

Tap, chicks?

 

[Marvin]

Marvin> hey

Yep. That's one of my cat's favorite hobbies. He says he's "conducting gravity experiments" but I don't really believe him.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

 

[-fish-]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

you could just tape the kids' fingers together until they're about 6.

 

[cosjobs]

Cosjobs - In for auction leeg? If so, please PM me your email address.

can I host it?

Right now the plan is 3rd Base Round Rock but I think the boys would be up for a change. The guys from Dallas like to enjoy themselves in the cosjobs way, so they would probably like the privacy. What would the deal be on food? We could BYOB for the booze.

I will offer to provide all wine and food for a very reasonable flat rate. Could provide rooms for Dal guys too.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

you could just tape the kids' fingers together until they're about 6.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

Moved into a new house with them pre-installed. Gates too.

 

[cosjobs]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

Moved into a new house with them pre-installed. Gates too.

Bill Gates? That had to be expensive.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

Moved into a new house with them pre-installed. Gates too.

Bill Gates? That had to be expensive.

Go get Gates.

 

[Frostillicus]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

Moved into a new house with them pre-installed. Gates too.

Can you get Witten?

 

[cosjobs]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

Moved into a new house with them pre-installed. Gates too.

Can you get Witten?

Gronk imo

 

[-fish-]

Installing childproof locks on cabinets/drawers probably goes down as my worst experience ever, S. Modern technology can't make these things easier to install/line up?

Moved into a new house with them pre-installed. Gates too.

Can you get Witten?

well played. does that guy still post?he does! My link

 

[cosjobs]

tim just pm'ed me his password to help manage the timdraft

He may not comprehend my incorrigibility

Suggestions for mischief?

 

[Sheriff Bart]

Well that was interesting.

 

[Frostillicus]

tim just pm'ed me his password to help manage the timdraft He may not comprehend my incorrigibilitySuggestions for mischief?

PM sex with MOP

 

[Mr. Pickles]

tim just pm'ed me his password to help manage the timdraft He may not comprehend my incorrigibilitySuggestions for mischief?

I'll take it from here.

 

[krista4]

I'm waiting on a 200-page document that I need to review when it arrives, ETA 2 a.m. I don't anticipate getting to sleep tonight. I also didn't get to go to sleep last night for the same work matter. This is the third time in three weeks I've pulled multiple all-nighters.

But this is not just to kvetch about no sleep and way too much work; this is to mention that at least five times today our CEO thanked me profusely...no, not for my hard work and my important insights, but for recommending a good pizza place last night when he decided we should get some delivery. Seriously, the guy won't shut up about the ####### pizza.

Currently winning the horrible job sweepstakes. I'm going to need summaries of the daily summaries.