I don't know if this will help, but here are my thoughts.
This thread (and board in general) are rife with BS. You can't take anything here too seriously. If you are going through something in real life that is causing you this much pain and anguish, the very first thing you need to do in unplug from here and figure out how to handle it. If you're counting on a bunch of internet nobodies to help you through something this difficult, you need to re-rank your priorities in life.
I think you pretty accurately identified some of the disconnect with the bolded section above. You do have the tendency to kvetch about work a lot and put on a brave face for the most part. The thing is, none of us have the faintest clue of what you are going through, how persistent the problem is, or even what the problem is. You vacillate between making light of the issue and throwing out frightening extrapolations like you'll end up dead, and there is no earthly way any of us can decipher any of it. Again, I think the right course is to flip off the computer and figure this out among people that you confide in personally and intimately rather than hope that anyone on a message board can empathize with the patch work of information you provide us with. If things are truly as bad as your worst depictions, then treat it with the seriousness it deserves.
I recall you asking for advice about what to do about the dilemma of going through this torture test until you can get the bonus or leaving. My advice at the time was to quit, with the understanding that it was an awful, toxic environment that was giving you physical ill. That advice stands. If this is pushing you to that brink, walk away. Today. Now. Nothing is worth this kind of pain. You need to look out for yourself first. If you're fine, then you can start to think about how your actions will impact others in the company. In effect, you're all there doing work willingly. If something is that terrible, leave. I don't know what other advice to give you. I know you're a soldier and want to see whatever it is through, but the toll it has and will take isn't worth it. You have every ability to get away from this, so do that. It's difficult to see someone willingly heap all of this trouble on themselves when the remedy is fairly apparent. You don't need or particularly care about the bonus, so move on. There are only so many ways to say this.
I understand the lashing out bit at people for not taking you seriously enough or giving you crap about this. Again, if this is a tenth as serious as you make it out to be, this isn't the place to seek advice. There can and will be thoughful replies, but expect a mix. You know better than not to. No one knows what's really going on other than you, and no one is going to be able to decipher what is going on through the virtual lens of a message board post. Even with my extensive notebooking (

), I have no hope of knowing what is going on over there. You don't provide any substantial details about this situation, and that's probably a good thing. However, that's why you're getting the responses you are. We can't tell how serious this is or what the hell is going on.
The other thing that corrupts the process is that you have a lot of things going very
right in your life. You are in a lucrative field and have tons of excellent prospects. You essentially found equivalent new opportunities in record time. You have lots of material things and little if any financial worry. It's difficult for many people to honestly relate to your position. That doesn't diminish the magnitude of what you're going through, but the things that keep a lot of people here up at night are not the same issues that give you anguish. I think the most important point is that this is a situation that has an obvious remedy: quit. It's hard to watch someone ask for advice, not take it, and then lament their position. That would be true of anyone. I'm not here to sugar coat things for people, and I generally think people post things so that people will sympathize and say what they want to hear. You have to expect that won't always happen, and in some cases it's a damned good thing that it doesn't. I suspect you're familiar enough with this place to weight the responses accordingly.
I think we all share in the sentiment that you get through this and come back better than ever. Don't let a temporary situation put you in a tailspin like this. Get your #### together in your real life. Places like the FFA are better utilized when we can talk about minutia and things that don't involve soul-crushing work issues. We're all pulling for you to get through this so that, in the immortal words of Studs,
all of you dreams can come true.