Re: Going Pantsless...I stayed out WAY too late on Friday, bounced up early to try and catch a walk with SLB (who ditched me) and began the day with perhaps the world's worst bloody marry every constructed. I think I nursed it for a good 3-4 hours while I pounded beers and dominated the Corn Toss game. Oh, and I smoked and I smoked and I smoked whatever and whenever I could. I was not - as they say - laying the groundwork for a healthy and successful evening. For a while, I actually had the ability to place the bean bag on the board or even in the hole. However, over time, I not only lost that ability but forgot how to keep score. Dinner was fantastic, but it really was a hike to get out there and back and I was a little whiny tool about it the whole way, which was part shtick, part irritable bowl syndrome, part booze. After befriending two uniformed police officers outside of the restaurant, we piled back in cars to go home. I took that opportunity to pass out. And when we got back to AO, I thought I'd make my mark by passing out in a lounge chair, since I now have a history of falling asleep early and often at these. When I finally did go up to my room to pass out for good, I felt like I hadn't done enough to make a complete and utter jackass of myself. And thus, I changed into my boxer briefs, stuffed another pair of underwear inside so it looked like i had a huge penis and tried to go out on a high note of comedy. But I can't explain the BBQ sauce. That didn't quite sink into my memory bank the way the other parts of the weekend have been stored. At some point, my antics will be the final death knell in ever scoring another invite to one of these, which is the only hope I have for the longevity of my liver, heart, lungs and brain. If this didn't do it, I'll have to work just a little bit harder the next time around. I might actually have to stick my wang in the cornbeef hash or try to wipe off a freckle on the nose of a girl so cute, she wouldn't give me the time of day if she were draped in Timex.
Can't ask for a better wingman than Homer. 
But he did put the head on for the pic. 
This is a complicated case, Maude. A lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous, a lot of strands to keep in my head, man.
