Thanks, krista.

Antelope is right. Lots of antelopes today.

So which of the following is the most annoying thing, if they were all to happen to you at the same time? (1) While working on a (now) 51-page copyright litigation brief, for which a client is amazingly paying you due to your status as an IP litigator, you decide to unwind in the FFA, and coincidentally find yourself embroiled in a lively discussion revolving around new rules concerning copyright enforcement. During the course of that discussion, two people get in your face and start arguing basic concepts such as "intellectual property isn't really property" and "copyright infringement isn't theft," while quoting inapplicable law, and just generally being dooshes about it. (2) Some guy who was referred to you by a colleague and has a case that has zero merit whatsoever (in which he has been representing himself) calls three times during the course of the day, following up on written materials he sent you. You finally take the third call, tell him nicely that you can't help him, and he begins yelling at you that he doesn't understand why you don't "get" his case. He also demands to know whether you have been in contact with the opposing party. You eventually get him off the phone. Now you must write him a very strongly worded letter declining the representation. (3) You get invited to a fantasy baseball league run by a guy you can't stand and featuring another guy with likely mental disorders, but you win it all about once every three years on average, so you click "accept." You then note that the draft is at 10:30 A.M. Eastern time on a Saturday, which is 7:30 A.M. on a Saturday where you are, which is an hour that you don't see unless it's from the back side. So you inquire on the league message board if this was an error or a deliberate choice, at which point the "commissioner" accuses you of wondering if he's taking things out on you (?) by setting the draft so early. The other (nutjob) guy jumps in and accuses you of paranoia. Eventually you explain that, no, you were just wondering if the draft was intentionally set for that time, or that was just a placeholder and the real time will be, as usual, in the evening. After 5 more messages the commissioner reveals that . . . that time was an error and a placeholder and the real time will be, as usual, in the evening. (4) You get a lot of referrals through several listservs run by your county bar association. Every February, when you renew your association membership, you get booted off all of the listservs for days, and every year, they tell you that "your IT department's firewall" is blocking their messages. They transmit this information through e-mails that come through perfectly, a point that cuts no ice when pointed out. So here it is a week later and still no listservs, which could mean lost business. By the way, you are a one-man shop with legal support staff. You have no "IT department" and the last firewall you saw had Harrison Ford in it. (5) Your building announces, via memo, that it will no longer allow anyone to park in its spacious rear courtyard area for any amount of time, even if the parkers are simply visiting for a short interval, e.g., a messenger dropping off a package, or a client delivering an original signature. This is transparently so that the building can charge the preposterous $6.00 per 20 minutes for people to park in its garage, i.e., $6.00 even if they're there for five minutes. The building justifies this by stating that "management can no longer deal with the oil stains from parked cars." Oil stains? I must have missed the 1975 Pinto that has been continuously parked out there since September 11 (the original). How does the City of Los Angeles deal with these nefarious "oil stains" from cars that park on its public streets for 5-10 minutes at a time? Anyway, you call the head attorney of the practice group with whom you share space to complain mildly about this and she shrieks at you over the phone from about 30 yards away, tops. "THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM, AERIAL ASSAULT." Mmmkay. (6) Your SO, who is responsible for the home finances, calls. She wants to know if you took care of the new Verizon bill that was generated when you set up phones as gifts for your (on her side) nephew and niece (unbelievably cool and sweet kids, who needed phones because they're at that age, but their mom can't afford it). No, you didn't take care of this, which is why she's holding a paper statement, because when you went to the Verizon store with her, you opted for paper statements so that she could pay them timely. She is now asking this question with the bill due tomorrow. So you have to log on and pay the bill electronically, lost your password, reset, name your favorite teacher, etc. Actually I feel bad even mentioning this one because she had a great workday and is generally an all-star, but it was just sort of cumulative. So . . . 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 most annnoying? Or am I just a d**k? Probably the latter.

Sorry for length.