GM's thread about nothing (31 Viewers)

[Tremendous Upside]

Also, it's awesome you're happyThe world needs more happy

 

[Josie Maran]

Also, it's awesome you're happyThe world needs more happy

I went through some pretty serious unhappy over the years. I'm glad that the world is happy that I'm happy. And I'm pretty happy that I'm happy. Happy!Honestly, as jokey as that was...one of the things that has always made me feel good is that I have the ability to make my friends feel good. When they're feeling bad, I can pick them up. When they're good, I can make them laugh their asses off. When they're laughing their asses off, well then we're getting diminishing returns.But being able to do that for people I'm just getting to know, you guys have no idea how great that makes me feel. I started working at my current place back in September and within a few weeks I was somebody everybody loved to have around. My birthday waws Friday and I went to my place and people I barely even recognized were buying me shots and beers. I seriously couldn't even keep up.I don't know, I'm just kind of getting into an introspective place at the moment. There's really no narrative thread over the last couple of paragraphs.But I'm totally pissed that I didn't bang the 21-year-old that showed me her cooter.It's full-blown daylight, btw.

 

[Gadzooks]

And TUP, I am officially extending the invitation if you want to come out this way for a few days. I've got a whole house to myself and a bar that you might know a guy that works thgere. He might even throw a few shots your way. Bring a friend or two, #### it. Otis, if you're reading this, you have an invitation as well. But your wife needs to bring a slutty friend.Zooks and Thorn, I would actually pay good money for you two jackasses to shine for a weekend.

In...Set us up the Cornhole

You have until late March / early April if you want to come out for a weekend. No pool or house parties at that tim3, sorry. FYI, I work Sat/Sun/Mon so coming out on a Thursady evening will maximize your Homer-time. Just an FYI.Got two spare rooms, booze, and a mother####ing friendly disposition to deliver, if you care to partake.

Thurs March 28th work for you?

Yep.Let's fire us up the cornhole. Feel free to bring a friend or two, if you feel comfortable with the phrase "We're going to meet my internet friend Homer". We'll see if Thorn and/or Zooks want to get involved. Either way, I'm a big fan of yours so no other nor'easters are necessary.

I love you

You're no Gadzooks!

That's a helluva standard to live up to

I love you both

 

[Guster]

HomerHow's the East End tonight?

Crazy night at the Tavern. I saw a slight, nymphish 21-year-old's boobies and cooch. She swore she didn't have a cameltoe, so I made her prove it. I had to cut off a couple of d-bags, and eventually kicked them out, only to find they were outside 30 minutes later throwing park benches in the middle of the street. I was awakened to this fact by the cop that came into the bar and scolded me for their stupidity.But anyway, I was able to help my suicidal friend get laid tonight, so I'm pretty sure I did my boy scout good deed for the day. I could have totally banged this broad but almost literally threw her at him to take home. At one point I competely yelled at her "Stop talking to me and start talking to Schmitty!" The dude's in a bad way, so #### my current dry spell, I'd rather see him get laid than me.One thing that's great about being a bartender is that I can get out of any conversation that I want to...Hey, I got #### to do. The thing that sucks is that i might want to be totally working a chick...but mother####er I have #### to do! I've lost se veral opportunities lately just because I'm on the bad side of the bar. It's seriously been killing me lately.Anyway, happy tonight that my boy is getting some lovin'. Just pissed that she wasn't there with a friend.

Karma brother, karmaYou'll get it back in spades

Oh yeah, I'm totally down with banging black chicks.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Hey, what a shock! The sun is coming up and I'm still drinking!!! Ah well, screw it. Your boy Homer is happy. I really am happy. This is so friggin weird.

Time for an "I love my life!!!" post on Facebook?

 

[T Bell]

HomerHow's the East End tonight?

Crazy night at the Tavern. I saw a slight, nymphish 21-year-old's boobies and cooch. She swore she didn't have a cameltoe, so I made her prove it. I had to cut off a couple of d-bags, and eventually kicked them out, only to find they were outside 30 minutes later throwing park benches in the middle of the street. I was awakened to this fact by the cop that came into the bar and scolded me for their stupidity.But anyway, I was able to help my suicidal friend get laid tonight, so I'm pretty sure I did my boy scout good deed for the day. I could have totally banged this broad but almost literally threw her at him to take home. At one point I competely yelled at her "Stop talking to me and start talking to Schmitty!" The dude's in a bad way, so #### my current dry spell, I'd rather see him get laid than me.One thing that's great about being a bartender is that I can get out of any conversation that I want to...Hey, I got #### to do. The thing that sucks is that i might want to be totally working a chick...but mother####er I have #### to do! I've lost se veral opportunities lately just because I'm on the bad side of the bar. It's seriously been killing me lately.Anyway, happy tonight that my boy is getting some lovin'. Just pissed that she wasn't there with a friend.

Karma brother, karmaYou'll get it back in spades

Oh yeah, I'm totally down with banging black chicks.

 

[T Bell]

But getting my boy Schmitty laid at the end of the night was just icing on the cake. That one, i really feel good about. He was going on again about how bad life sucks, but was flat-out delivered a cute blonde to make his night a little better.My work was done.

Unless he didn't close the deal.Or she gets pregnant. :yourfriendlyneighborhoodFFAriskmanager:

 

[Bogart]

I would trade my big boy job for Homer's job in an instant. I happy Homer.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Called my mom. Asked if she wanted company, go out to lunch of something. She said it was already a sad enough day

I know this wasn't meant to be funny, but...

woke up about this.

 

[heckmanm]

Yeah, it's not recommended to take me off-leash.

My link

Related

 

[Jaysus]

Karma brother, karmaYou'll get it back in spades

Oh yeah, I'm totally down with banging black chicks.

double

 

[Bogart]

In the "Walking Dead" thread, has anyone asked about vampires yet?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

In the "Walking Dead" thread, has anyone asked about vampires yet?

This might be some good shtick for later.

 

[Disco Stu]

Friday

I’ll admit that the rest of the night is a bit fuzzy for me, so some of my details might be lacking or completely wrong. I’m pretty sure that Thorn went back with St Louis Bob and Pepper in a taxi. While we were all having fun on the patio, a group of girls, some rowers, some former rowers, joined up. Stu instantly started talking to the hottest one in the group while I went after the other two.

That detail is off a bit Gusher. I hung back talking with Thorn and SLBob for a long while. I didn't move in until everyone else already had their shot, and she was still smiling at me from across the patio. I was with Thorn in wanting to move things to another bar.I finally went over and asked her why she kept looking at me. She started to answer "because you're a..." before stopping herself. I'm a what? "I can't say, you'll get cocky". Too late for that. "No I can't make it that easy for you." Too late for that also, might as well finish your thought. Finally she bashfully practically whispered "because you're a silver fox". Friggin Austin girls. Ended up hearing that one (and "Brett Favre") a few more times before the weekend was over.

A short while later came my favorite GM memory from the weekend...

GM is sitting across the table. He takes this opportunity to tell the rower friend she has perfect teeth and flawless skin. Then he looks at the girl next to me and kinda squints. I'm thinking "oh boy, here we go" as I know he's looking at the two moles (freckles?) she has. He reaches across the table and tries to wipe off the one on her nose saying "you've got something on your face." I'm obviously cracking up here. She says "No! It's a freckle!". GM pulls back, pauses... looking a little like he would the next day while talking to his BBQ. Then he reaches to try the one on her forehead.

More Hippling to come...

 

[Disco Stu]

I was jiggling the handle to the point I was concerned it might bend or bust.

This is a car-ride inspired euphemism, right?

 

[Disco Stu]

While were were gathering in the dining room and recanting stories from the night before, I kept mentioning how I felt a bit of shame for hooking up with that girl like I did. For some reason, I had reverse beer goggles and I thought the girl I was talking with wasn’t quite up to par. Maybe that’s because I had explored more of her than one typically would on a ride from a bar to a diner and back home Thanks to some excellent Facebook stalking sleuthing by Stu, I was able to get some pictures of her. Much better than I had expected

Seeing that picture inspired a top line of the weekend from hungover Uni... "Why didn't they bring that girl last night??"It's funny cause it's true. She looked almost nothing like that picture.

 

[General Malaise]

I think I might have told some of you that my BIL is an Army Ranger and got to go to the White House and meet the president. This all revolves around a mission that was on that was really, really crazy (many injured, one killed, high value Taliban target, etc.). Being such a small world and all, I got to meet this guy (LINK) this week at work and it was really cool. The look on his face when I told him I knew several of the guys on this mission was pretty funny. Really an amazing guy and makes you think a lot how many lives are changed/impacted with stuff like this.

Very cool story. Although, the dude looks a lot Shukier than one would expect from a Medal of Honor winner.

He does look like Shuke. Lawnmower, phone and car all suffered major injuries over the weekend. Neat.Going to pour a large bourbon and air and put in The Wire. (or as my wife calls it, "Wires" )

How far into The Wires are you? Thoughts so far?

We've finished the first 3 episodes and really like it. I wish we had more time to watch them, but it's been rough with the baby, boys' schedules, new job for wife, family in town, etc. But we're excited to plow through it. I'm also going to read your books as soon as I'm done with the one I'm reading now.

 

[General Malaise]

I think I might have told some of you that my BIL is an Army Ranger and got to go to the White House and meet the president. This all revolves around a mission that was on that was really, really crazy (many injured, one killed, high value Taliban target, etc.). Being such a small world and all, I got to meet this guy (LINK) this week at work and it was really cool. The look on his face when I told him I knew several of the guys on this mission was pretty funny. Really an amazing guy and makes you think a lot how many lives are changed/impacted with stuff like this.

Very cool story. Although, the dude looks a lot Shukier than one would expect from a Medal of Honor winner.

He does look like Shuke. Lawnmower, phone and car all suffered major injuries over the weekend. Neat.Going to pour a large bourbon and air and put in The Wire. (or as my wife calls it, "Wires" )

How far into The Wires are you? Thoughts so far?

We've finished the first 3 episodes and really like it. I wish we had more time to watch them, but it's been rough with the baby, boys' schedules, new job for wife, family in town, etc. But we're excited to plow through it. I'm also going to read your books as soon as I'm done with the one I'm reading now.

Also, I have to turn on the closed captioning.

 

[General Malaise]

Friday

I’ll admit that the rest of the night is a bit fuzzy for me, so some of my details might be lacking or completely wrong. I’m pretty sure that Thorn went back with St Louis Bob and Pepper in a taxi. While we were all having fun on the patio, a group of girls, some rowers, some former rowers, joined up. Stu instantly started talking to the hottest one in the group while I went after the other two.

That detail is off a bit Gusher. I hung back talking with Thorn and SLBob for a long while. I didn't move in until everyone else already had their shot, and she was still smiling at me from across the patio. I was with Thorn in wanting to move things to another bar.I finally went over and asked her why she kept looking at me. She started to answer "because you're a..." before stopping herself. I'm a what? "I can't say, you'll get cocky". Too late for that. "No I can't make it that easy for you." Too late for that also, might as well finish your thought. Finally she bashfully practically whispered "because you're a silver fox". Friggin Austin girls. Ended up hearing that one (and "Brett Favre") a few more times before the weekend was over.

A short while later came my favorite GM memory from the weekend...

GM is sitting across the table. He takes this opportunity to tell the rower friend she has perfect teeth and flawless skin. Then he looks at the girl next to me and kinda squints. I'm thinking "oh boy, here we go" as I know he's looking at the two moles (freckles?) she has. He reaches across the table and tries to wipe off the one on her nose saying "you've got something on your face." I'm obviously cracking up here. She says "No! It's a freckle!". GM pulls back, pauses... looking a little like he would the next day while talking to his BBQ. Then he reaches to try the one on her forehead.

More Hippling to come...

How I ever got laid in my life is one giant mystery.

 

[ScottNorwood]

Is there an *Official* hot sauce thread? I'm too lazy to search and/or start one.

 

[Bogart]

Is there an *Official* hot sauce thread? I'm too lazy to search and/or start one.

I'm having déjà vu.

 

[phishphan]

so the Crips and local KKK members are working together to stop the upcoming March 30th KKK rally in Memphis

My link

KKK, Crips Gang Members Team Up To Stop Memphis KKK Rally

HOUSTON (CBS Houston) If you are looking for a story that travels to the realms of disbelief, then this is the story that does so. It appears that a group of Memphis, Tennessee Ku Klux Klan members and the Grape Street Crips are teaming up to stop an upcoming KKK rally.

Dajuan Horton, a Crip Gang member who lives in Memphis apparently heard of the rally happening. Being totally and unequivocally against it, he decided to work on a rally to combat the coming KKK rally. He told a local news station that instead of meeting the opposing rally members with violence, he is offering a non-violent stand against them: “The first thing I was thinking was the largest rally you’ve even seen and you’re telling us about it,” he said. “You’re sending the first blow, we’re not throwing blows we’re going to dodge that one and hug you.”

Horton also made a video and posted it on YouTube; about his opposition of the rally. That video caught the attention of Bradley Jenkins, the Imperial Wizard for the United Klan of America. Jenkins watched Horton’s video and offered to stand with Horton as he works to repel the impending rally: “We will stand resolute with the citizens of Memphis and this young man and anyone in town, no matter what color they be, because hate and racism has no place,” Jenkins said. According to Jenkins, the KKK members who are proposing a rally at the end of March, are not true members of The Ku Klux Klan.

Jenkins said that this “fake group” of KKK members should not be taken seriously: “Don’t be fooled. They’re fooling the media, everybody these folks saying they’re Klan, they’re not Klan,” he added.

Jenkins’ remarks then leads one to believe that there are so-called “fake Klansmen” that are on their way to Memphis.

The real question is… fake or not…isn’t hate awful anyway it comes? Regardless, many may find it refreshing to know that two opposing groups with histories of violence, are coming together to make a united front against a group who is advocating potential violence, racism and hatred.

 

[phishphan]

oh yeah, I like Duck Dynasty. It's fake as hell, but still funny.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

 

[phishphan]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

that's pretty much it. Interesting side note - Phil (company founder and dad on show) was starting QB at LA Tech. Terry Bradshaw was his backup

 

[krista4]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

that's pretty much it. Interesting side note - Phil (company founder and dad on show) was starting QB at LA Tech. Terry Bradshaw was his backup

What's the company? What do they do? And what's interesting about it? Sorry, google is down. (Or I'm lazy.)

 

[krista4]

I'm at White Plains airport hoping my trip home is not as adventurous as the one here. Feel like interviews went well, but who knows. I'm freaking exhausted and just dying to get home, despite the fact that home is Memphis.Very Jew-y here in White Plains, by the way.Oh, I also saw someone get eaten by an escalator here. It was a little gruesome.

 

[phishphan]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

that's pretty much it. Interesting side note - Phil (company founder and dad on show) was starting QB at LA Tech. Terry Bradshaw was his backup

What's the company? What do they do? And what's interesting about it? Sorry, google is down. (Or I'm lazy.)

Duck Commander is the company. They became multimillionaires making duck calls. The show is totally scripted, but it shows them "working", hunting, fishing, etc.

 

[charvik]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

that's pretty much it. Interesting side note - Phil (company founder and dad on show) was starting QB at LA Tech. Terry Bradshaw was his backup

What's the company? What do they do? And what's interesting about it? Sorry, google is down. (Or I'm lazy.)

Going to guess duck calls and those fake ducks they put out to trick ducks into landing. Also guessing they are swamp people from Louisiana, so hunting, driving old cars, shoot stuff, talk in a thick accent that noone understands... As to what is interesting about it? (Haven't seen it)

 

[Abraham]

Very Jew-y here in White Plains, by the way.

Well....

 

[charvik]

Multimillionaires making duck calls? Not buying that... $5 per duck call? Maybe $1 profit... How many hunters? 500,000? Must be other companies doing that stuff too, no?(Know nothing about ducks, hunting or calls)Eta: maybe I'm way off... Too lazy to google duck callsEta2: jeebus, I googled anyway... $30 to $70 for a little thing that quacks... Oh my

 

[krista4]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

that's pretty much it. Interesting side note - Phil (company founder and dad on show) was starting QB at LA Tech. Terry Bradshaw was his backup

What's the company? What do they do? And what's interesting about it? Sorry, google is down. (Or I'm lazy.)

Going to guess duck calls and those fake ducks they put out to trick ducks into landing. Also guessing they are swamp people from Louisiana, so hunting, driving old cars, shoot stuff, talk in a thick accent that noone understands... As to what is interesting about it? (Haven't seen it)

Hmmm, guess I just don't know much about ducks, as I don't know what any of that is. Anyway, thanks.

Very Jew-y here in White Plains, by the way.

Well....

Yeah, I lived in NYC for three years, but I sort of forgot.

 

[phishphan]

Multimillionaires making duck calls? Not buying that... $5 per duck call? Maybe $1 profit... How many hunters? 500,000? Must be other companies doing that stuff too, no?(Know nothing about ducks, hunting or calls)

I think they make all sorts of stuff, but the Duck Commander duck call is the big item.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

that's pretty much it. Interesting side note - Phil (company founder and dad on show) was starting QB at LA Tech. Terry Bradshaw was his backup

What's the company? What do they do? And what's interesting about it? Sorry, google is down. (Or I'm lazy.)

Going to guess duck calls and those fake ducks they put out to trick ducks into landing. Also guessing they are swamp people from Louisiana, so hunting, driving old cars, shoot stuff, talk in a thick accent that noone understands... As to what is interesting about it? (Haven't seen it)

Borki borki borka

 

[phishphan]

Multimillionaires making duck calls? Not buying that... $5 per duck call? Maybe $1 profit... How many hunters? 500,000? Must be other companies doing that stuff too, no?(Know nothing about ducks, hunting or calls)

I think they make all sorts of stuff, but the Duck Commander duck call is the big item.

Just looked it up. That duck call is $40.

 

[General Malaise]

I'm at White Plains airport hoping my trip home is not as adventurous as the one here. Feel like interviews went well, but who knows. I'm freaking exhausted and just dying to get home, despite the fact that home is Memphis.

Very Jew-y here in White Plains, by the way.

Oh, I also saw someone get eaten by an escalator here. It was a little gruesome.

Well let's certainly not talk about this and talk more about teh jews.

 

[Abraham]

LEtter from "donor" to Texas Tech Deputy Athletic Director. http://deadspin.com/5988378/leaked-memo-how-texas-tech-could-craft-the-image-of-its-new-coach-and-become-the-hippest-school-in-the-game

 

[charvik]

Can I get a quick summary/YouTube clip of Duck Dynasty? I've never seen it before, all I know is that it has some hillbillies with big beards.

Good summary.

that's pretty much it. Interesting side note - Phil (company founder and dad on show) was starting QB at LA Tech. Terry Bradshaw was his backup

What's the company? What do they do? And what's interesting about it? Sorry, google is down. (Or I'm lazy.)

Going to guess duck calls and those fake ducks they put out to trick ducks into landing. Also guessing they are swamp people from Louisiana, so hunting, driving old cars, shoot stuff, talk in a thick accent that noone understands... As to what is interesting about it? (Haven't seen it)

Borki borki borka

touché

 

[General Malaise]

the dude looks a lot Shukier than one would expect

He gained a lot of weight I believe.

Yea, um, I'm right here, guys.

 

[General Malaise]

Early GGD was better than anything some of these other crap bands put out.Saw them in concert many times back then and they were nothing like th band they became. Such a waste.

You mean when you saw them you didn't think they'd be on Sesamee Street with Elmo?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Very Jew-y here in White Plains, by the way.

Well....

Start hiding foreskins.

the dude looks a lot Shukier than one would expect

He gained a lot of weight I believe.

Yea, um, I'm right here, guys.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

A gun's not enough of an advantage?

For Tanner:

My link

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Early GGD was better than anything some of these other crap bands put out.Saw them in concert many times back then and they were nothing like th band they became. Such a waste.

You mean when you saw them you didn't think they'd be on Sesamee Street with Elmo?

Not sure they'd let Robbie on tv. He would probably scare the kids. Nice guy though.

 

[General Malaise]

Early GGD was better than anything some of these other crap bands put out.Saw them in concert many times back then and they were nothing like th band they became. Such a waste.

You mean when you saw them you didn't think they'd be on Sesamee Street with Elmo?

Not sure they'd let Robbie on tv. He would probably scare the kids. Nice guy though.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Just a sample of how stressed and out of my mind I am lately. I'm working on a pretty nice furniture job and needed to call the rep, whom I've never met. So I call the manufacturer and they give me his cell number.(Phones ringing, female answers)Female: Hello?Me: May I speak to Tim please?Female: You called the home number sweetie.Me: Oh, sorry this is the number ###### gave me. Please give me his cell and I'll call him there.Female: Bob, you called the home number.Me: Yes, again, I apologize. Can you give....Female: BOB!! THIS IS YOUR WIFE!!

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Early GGD was better than anything some of these other crap bands put out.Saw them in concert many times back then and they were nothing like th band they became. Such a waste.

You mean when you saw them you didn't think they'd be on Sesamee Street with Elmo?

Not sure they'd let Robbie on tv. He would probably scare the kids. Nice guy though.

on the right. Looks a bit like a troll. His songs never got turned into catchy radio-friendly singles. Jon wanted to become Bon Jovi.

 

[T Bell]

I think I might have told some of you that my BIL is an Army Ranger and got to go to the White House and meet the president. This all revolves around a mission that was on that was really, really crazy (many injured, one killed, high value Taliban target, etc.). Being such a small world and all, I got to meet this guy (LINK) this week at work and it was really cool. The look on his face when I told him I knew several of the guys on this mission was pretty funny. Really an amazing guy and makes you think a lot how many lives are changed/impacted with stuff like this.

Very cool story. Although, the dude looks a lot Shukier than one would expect from a Medal of Honor winner.

He does look like Shuke. Lawnmower, phone and car all suffered major injuries over the weekend. Neat.Going to pour a large bourbon and air and put in The Wire. (or as my wife calls it, "Wires" )

How far into The Wires are you? Thoughts so far?

We've finished the first 3 episodes and really like it. I wish we had more time to watch them, but it's been rough with the baby, boys' schedules, new job for wife, family in town, etc. But we're excited to plow through it. I'm also going to read your books as soon as I'm done with the one I'm reading now.

Also, I have to turn on the closed captioning.

Wat?

 

[Abraham]

Just a sample of how stressed and out of my mind I am lately. I'm working on a pretty nice furniture job and needed to call the rep, whom I've never met. So I call the manufacturer and they give me his cell number.(Phones ringing, female answers)Female: Hello?Me: May I speak to Tim please?Female: You called the home number sweetie.Me: Oh, sorry this is the number ###### gave me. Please give me his cell and I'll call him there.Female: Bob, you called the home number.Me: Yes, again, I apologize. Can you give....Female: BOB!! THIS IS YOUR WIFE!!

Awesome.

 

[General Malaise]

Just a sample of how stressed and out of my mind I am lately. I'm working on a pretty nice furniture job and needed to call the rep, whom I've never met. So I call the manufacturer and they give me his cell number.(Phones ringing, female answers)Female: Hello?Me: May I speak to Tim please?Female: You called the home number sweetie.Me: Oh, sorry this is the number ###### gave me. Please give me his cell and I'll call him there.Female: Bob, you called the home number.Me: Yes, again, I apologize. Can you give....Female: BOB!! THIS IS YOUR WIFE!!