GM's thread about nothing (37 Viewers)

[Abraham]

Also, I am pretty sure Puff's is lying to me about there being lotion in these tissues.

Had the same experience over the weekend. I paid extra for the ones with aloe lotion and I'm sure there is no lotion at all!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My link who doesn't like PB&J?!?

I just had to look up the backstory on this My link

we need a legal way to do away with these morons

I've had another really bad day and can think of a few ways. I ####### hate PB&J sandwiches too. That's what I had almost every single day for lunch a solid 6 years in grade school. OH PB&J WHY MUST YOU BLEED THROUGH THE BREAD AND CREATE AND STINKY SMELL IN MY BOOK BAG??!!

Did your mom just throw the sandwich in your bag? No baggie or foil?

It was in a baggie inside a reused paper bag. There was usually a generic store brand "Little Debbie" snack too. As you can tell, my Mother is quite racist.

I feel like I am on my death bed. Went to the doctor yesterday and have bronchitis and a double ear infection, on top of the sinus infection that I never seemed to shake after Austin. Apparently, I am part of a small percentage of the population that is resistant to the Z-Pak I took earlier in the month, so now I'm on a nice 10-day antibiotic.

Very rarely do I miss work due to sickness because, frankly, I don't get sick very much. At all. But I felt so terrible today, I had to leave at lunchtime.

And yes, I would like some cheese wine with my whine.

Hope you feel better, GB.

 

[phishphan]

My link who doesn't like PB&J?!?

I just had to look up the backstory on this My link

we need a legal way to do away with these morons

I've had another really bad day and can think of a few ways. I ####### hate PB&J sandwiches too. That's what I had almost every single day for lunch a solid 6 years in grade school. OH PB&J WHY MUST YOU BLEED THROUGH THE BREAD AND CREATE AND STINKY SMELL IN MY BOOK BAG??!!

a. ziploc bags could have helped stop the smell2. premixing the PB and J could have stopped some of the bleed-through.

My link

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

She have a vulva? If yes, yes?

lol

 

[phishphan]

speaking of which, I decided to have some PB&Js this weekend. After mixing the deliciousness in a bowl, I noticed that I had gotten out only 3 pieces of bread. Since I was too lazy to go back to the pantry for another slice i had a double-decker PB&J. It changed my life.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Your winner of the 139th Kentucky Derby . . . FLASHBACK.

You already told me to bet on astrovan or some such.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

It was in a baggie inside a reused paper bag. There was usually a generic store brand "Little Debbie" snack too. As you can tell, my Mother is quite racist.

My mom pretty much packed the same lunch for me for about 6 years.PB+J, smallest bag of chips commercially available, and a Zinger.Have I ever told the story about how on the first day of first grade some little girl busted a blood vessel/narced on me for eating my Zinger first?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

FYI, i've been driving home legally drunk pretty much every night I work. What makes it REALLY fun though, is that I just found out that my license back in Ohio is suspended and has been for like 4 months. And therefore (I have found out) my registration is no good, so basically if I get pulled over, I've got a DUI, driving under suspension, speeding, and having expired tags. Plus whatever you get for having your car unregistered.Man, I feel like Indiana Jones every time I go to the grocery store.

Dude.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Pre-mixing PB&J?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

It was in a baggie inside a reused paper bag. There was usually a generic store brand "Little Debbie" snack too. As you can tell, my Mother is quite racist.

My mom pretty much packed the same lunch for me for about 6 years.PB+J, smallest bag of chips commercially available, and a Zinger.Have I ever told the story about how on the first day of first grade some little girl busted a blood vessel/narced on me for eating my Zinger first?

I feel sorry for the man that eventually married that little snitch.

 

[phishphan]

Pre-mixing PB&J?

Why yes. you know who doesn't mix their PB&J? the same folks who have sex on the couch.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

In my hybrid painting/drawing/graphic novel thing I am working on, I an working on a section about being a giant jerk while being a serious poker nerd.

Today, I am still working on theRock 'em sock 'em robots with Nelson Muntz.

It was a little weird today. People stood outside my studio watching me paint through the storefront window. However, clearly I either had a powerful smell of had full serial killer look happening, because they did not want to enter.

Is it legal to use Nelson Muntz?

 

[-fish-]

Pre-mixing PB&J?

Why yes. you know who doesn't mix their PB&J? the same folks who have sex on the couch.

Don't know which is worse--that you pre-mix your PB&J or that you look down on couch sex. Do you alphabetize your clothes?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So you're saying you need a separate bowl in order to make a sandwich? I like this shtick.

I'm going to put some ham in a bowl with some mustard and mix it up. Then put the pre-mixed/coated ham on some bread.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

It was in a baggie inside a reused paper bag. There was usually a generic store brand "Little Debbie" snack too. As you can tell, my Mother is quite racist.

My mom pretty much packed the same lunch for me for about 6 years.PB+J, smallest bag of chips commercially available, and a Zinger.



Have I ever told the story about how on the first day of first grade some little girl busted a blood vessel/narced on me for eating my Zinger first?

No.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My link who doesn't like PB&J?!?

I just had to look up the backstory on this My link

we need a legal way to do away with these morons

I've had another really bad day and can think of a few ways. I ####### hate PB&J sandwiches too. That's what I had almost every single day for lunch a solid 6 years in grade school. OH PB&J WHY MUST YOU BLEED THROUGH THE BREAD AND CREATE AND STINKY SMELL IN MY BOOK BAG??!!

a. ziploc bags could have helped stop the smell2. premixing the PB and J could have stopped some of the bleed-through.

My link

We didn't have air conditioning so it was hot as ####. There was nothing stopping #### from reeking.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

It was in a baggie inside a reused paper bag. There was usually a generic store brand "Little Debbie" snack too. As you can tell, my Mother is quite racist.

My mom pretty much packed the same lunch for me for about 6 years.PB+J, smallest bag of chips commercially available, and a Zinger.



Have I ever told the story about how on the first day of first grade some little girl busted a blood vessel/narced on me for eating my Zinger first?

No.

That's a shame because it's a good story.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

It was in a baggie inside a reused paper bag. There was usually a generic store brand "Little Debbie" snack too. As you can tell, my Mother is quite racist.

My mom pretty much packed the same lunch for me for about 6 years.PB+J, smallest bag of chips commercially available, and a Zinger.



Have I ever told the story about how on the first day of first grade some little girl busted a blood vessel/narced on me for eating my Zinger first?

No.

That's a shame because it's a good story.

I bet. I could use a good story. Found out this morning that a high ranking official at a prominent client suddenly lost his job. Not sure why but he had my back and things are not good right now. Then an hour later Mrs. SLB calls to tell me my BFF's wife lost their baby. Except it wasn't a normal miscarriage as seemingly the baby was absorbed back into her body. This makes it so much worse for some reason. I feel like puking.

 

[strykerpks]

Pre-mixing PB&J?

Why yes. you know who doesn't mix their PB&J? the same folks who have sex on the couch.

Yeah. So?

 

[phishphan]

Pre-mixing PB&J?

Why yes. you know who doesn't mix their PB&J? the same folks who have sex on the couch.

Don't know which is worse--that you pre-mix your PB&J or that you look down on couch sex. Do you alphabetize your clothes?

actually I'm all about couch sex and sex pretty much anywhere else. That was a reference to what Tanner's wife said one time when he tried to have relations with her on the couch (actually true).

 

[phishphan]

So you're saying you need a separate bowl in order to make a sandwich? I like this shtick.

I'm going to put some ham in a bowl with some mustard and mix it up. Then put the pre-mixed/coated ham on some bread.

better yet, put your PB and J in a bowl and mix it up. It's just better.

 

[-fish-]

Pre-mixing PB&J?

Why yes. you know who doesn't mix their PB&J? the same folks who have sex on the couch.

Don't know which is worse--that you pre-mix your PB&J or that you look down on couch sex. Do you alphabetize your clothes?

actually I'm all about couch sex and sex pretty much anywhere else. That was a reference to what Tanner's wife said one time when he tried to have relations with her on the couch (actually true).

updating notebook.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Only because Bob is guilting me into it...

So the first day of first grade meant the very first time I got to eat in the cafeteria like a big kid.

I took my seat at the table and unpack the lunch bag my mom packed for me...PB&J, tiny bag of chips, some carrot sticks, and a mofo-ing chocolate Zinger.

Now at home I wouldn't have been give the Zinger until after I had finished the rest of the lunch. Of course my mom is nowhere to be seen in the school cafeteria I go right for that chocolaty delight first thing.

Right as I take my first bite this little girl (I would learn later on her name was Paula) raises her hand in the air and calls out "Teacher! Teacher!" (stupid broad didn't even have the common sense to know there were no teachers there...just lunch ladies). I have no clue as to why she's raising her hand and yelling. I just take another bite of ambrosia and watch to see what happens.

One of the lunch ladies comes over and asks Paula what she needs. Paula points a "J'accuse" finger at me and screams, I mean SCREAMS, HE'S EATING HIS DESSERT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

Since this was the first day of first grade I had no idea if I was really in trouble or not. I mean this girl was yelling at me like I had taken a dump right on the table there. The lunch lady looked at me then looked at Paula and then said "Sweetie, I'm not his mother. If he's going to eat his dessert first that's not my problem. And don't be a tattletale" then she walked away.

Paula just sat there with her mouth agape. I just looked her in the eye and crammed the rest of that Zinger in my mouth like a miniature proto-Shuke. It, and life, was delicious.

 

[Disco Stu]

Paula just sat there with her mouth agape. I just looked her in the eye and crammed the rest of that Zinger in my mouth like a miniature proto-Shuke. It, and life, was delicious.

My link

 

[Gadzooks]

Only because Bob is guilting me into it...

So the first day of first grade meant the very first time I got to eat in the cafeteria like a big kid.

I took my seat at the table and unpack the lunch bag my mom packed for me...PB&J, tiny bag of chips, some carrot sticks, and a mofo-ing chocolate Zinger.

Now at home I wouldn't have been give the Zinger until after I had finished the rest of the lunch. Of course my mom is nowhere to be seen in the school cafeteria I go right for that chocolaty delight first thing.

Right as I take my first bite this little girl (I would learn later on her name was Paula) raises her hand in the air and calls out "Teacher! Teacher!" (stupid broad didn't even have the common sense to know there were no teachers there...just lunch ladies). I have no clue as to why she's raising her hand and yelling. I just take another bite of ambrosia and watch to see what happens.

One of the lunch ladies comes over and asks Paula what she needs. Paula points a "J'accuse" finger at me and screams, I mean SCREAMS, HE'S EATING HIS DESSERT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

Since this was the first day of first grade I had no idea if I was really in trouble or not. I mean this girl was yelling at me like I had taken a dump right on the table there. The lunch lady looked at me then looked at Paula and then said "Sweetie, I'm not his mother. If he's going to eat his dessert first that's not my problem. And don't be a tattletale" then she walked away.

Paula just sat there with her mouth agape. I just looked her in the eye and crammed the rest of that Zinger in my mouth like a miniature proto-Shuke. It, and life, was delicious.

Spoiler:That first grade classmate was actually Nancy Reagan

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Only because Bob is guilting me into it...

So the first day of first grade meant the very first time I got to eat in the cafeteria like a big kid.

I took my seat at the table and unpack the lunch bag my mom packed for me...PB&J, tiny bag of chips, some carrot sticks, and a mofo-ing chocolate Zinger.

Now at home I wouldn't have been give the Zinger until after I had finished the rest of the lunch. Of course my mom is nowhere to be seen in the school cafeteria I go right for that chocolaty delight first thing.

Right as I take my first bite this little girl (I would learn later on her name was Paula) raises her hand in the air and calls out "Teacher! Teacher!" (stupid broad didn't even have the common sense to know there were no teachers there...just lunch ladies). I have no clue as to why she's raising her hand and yelling. I just take another bite of ambrosia and watch to see what happens.

One of the lunch ladies comes over and asks Paula what she needs. Paula points a "J'accuse" finger at me and screams, I mean SCREAMS, HE'S EATING HIS DESSERT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

Since this was the first day of first grade I had no idea if I was really in trouble or not. I mean this girl was yelling at me like I had taken a dump right on the table there. The lunch lady looked at me then looked at Paula and then said "Sweetie, I'm not his mother. If he's going to eat his dessert first that's not my problem. And don't be a tattletale" then she walked away.

Paula just sat there with her mouth agape. I just looked her in the eye and crammed the rest of that Zinger in my mouth like a miniature proto-Shuke. It, and life, was delicious.

And then -fish- married Paula. What are the odds?

 

[General Malaise]

YRS - Hope you feel better soon, GB. Really sucks you're going through that.

SLB - Sorry about your bad news too. Man, I thought we were on a roll here.

Fuller - you're just weird with the PBJ, thing. Go outside and play.

Tanner - You should have put your zinger in Paula's agape mouth.

Couch Sex - If I ever invite you to my house, I advice you sit on the Lazy-Boy.

K4 - Sorry about all your underlings expressing their appreciation of you at work, man.

UH - Stay safe and warm during the snow storm. I'd suggest some rest, so set that alarm for 4:18am friend.

Frosty - You're up in Cake.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Tanner - You should have put your zinger in Paula's agape mouth.

 

[Guster]

Pre-mixing PB&J?

Why yes. you know who doesn't mix their PB&J? the same folks who have sex on the couch.

I have sex on the couch AND premix my peanut butter and jelly

 

[Osaurus]

PSA: Don't ever put a plastic bag of any sort in a paper shredder accidentally or otherwise.

 

[proninja]

If any of you don't ski, you should.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Effing Paula

 

[Limp Ditka]

Tanner - You should have put your zinger in Paula's agape mouth.

And then fashioned your own chocolate zinger so the look on her face matched the offense

 

[Abraham]

It appears I have misplaced 500 custom made battery holders needed for a build. ####.

 

[Abraham]

Kill me now. Recently got back from a meeting with several architects/engineers that included me and one other sub, plus the GC. Left at 5 a.m. (sorry, Homer) to drive the 100 miles to DC. It was supposed to last from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m. I should know better by now that, after 30 years in this business and meeting with white collars, half of them will be at least 30 minutes late. On top of that, the other sub's rep (they actually put the concrete structure up over my foundations) must have wanted to show his engineer-envy by questioning the design team about things that had zero to do with his work ("what type of glass are you using?"; "paint brand?"; "why are you using those?"). Ever ask an engineer or an architect questions about his/her work? I left after 3.5 hours - 5 minutes of which was spent on my work. THEN I had to leave one of the most ####ed up traffic grids in either Hemisphere, NW DC. I thought my GPS was going to explode, not to mention my brain.Now we've got Lex Steele-measurable snow coming and I'll probably lose power.

What do you do GB?

Pro golfer.

 

[Drifter]

Only because Bob is guilting me into it...

So the first day of first grade meant the very first time I got to eat in the cafeteria like a big kid.

I took my seat at the table and unpack the lunch bag my mom packed for me...PB&J, tiny bag of chips, some carrot sticks, and a mofo-ing chocolate Zinger.

Now at home I wouldn't have been give the Zinger until after I had finished the rest of the lunch. Of course my mom is nowhere to be seen in the school cafeteria I go right for that chocolaty delight first thing.

Right as I take my first bite this little girl (I would learn later on her name was Paula) raises her hand in the air and calls out "Teacher! Teacher!" (stupid broad didn't even have the common sense to know there were no teachers there...just lunch ladies). I have no clue as to why she's raising her hand and yelling. I just take another bite of ambrosia and watch to see what happens.

One of the lunch ladies comes over and asks Paula what she needs. Paula points a "J'accuse" finger at me and screams, I mean SCREAMS, HE'S EATING HIS DESSERT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

Since this was the first day of first grade I had no idea if I was really in trouble or not. I mean this girl was yelling at me like I had taken a dump right on the table there. The lunch lady looked at me then looked at Paula and then said "Sweetie, I'm not his mother. If he's going to eat his dessert first that's not my problem. And don't be a tattletale" then she walked away.

Paula just sat there with her mouth agape. I just looked her in the eye and crammed the rest of that Zinger in my mouth like a miniature proto-Shuke. It, and life, was delicious.

Why would you cram a mini Shuke in your mouth?

 

[ScottNorwood]

Only because Bob is guilting me into it...

So the first day of first grade meant the very first time I got to eat in the cafeteria like a big kid.

I took my seat at the table and unpack the lunch bag my mom packed for me...PB&J, tiny bag of chips, some carrot sticks, and a mofo-ing chocolate Zinger.

Now at home I wouldn't have been give the Zinger until after I had finished the rest of the lunch. Of course my mom is nowhere to be seen in the school cafeteria I go right for that chocolaty delight first thing.

Right as I take my first bite this little girl (I would learn later on her name was Paula) raises her hand in the air and calls out "Teacher! Teacher!" (stupid broad didn't even have the common sense to know there were no teachers there...just lunch ladies). I have no clue as to why she's raising her hand and yelling. I just take another bite of ambrosia and watch to see what happens.

One of the lunch ladies comes over and asks Paula what she needs. Paula points a "J'accuse" finger at me and screams, I mean SCREAMS, HE'S EATING HIS DESSERT FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

Since this was the first day of first grade I had no idea if I was really in trouble or not. I mean this girl was yelling at me like I had taken a dump right on the table there. The lunch lady looked at me then looked at Paula and then said "Sweetie, I'm not his mother. If he's going to eat his dessert first that's not my problem. And don't be a tattletale" then she walked away.

Paula just sat there with her mouth agape. I just looked her in the eye and crammed the rest of that Zinger in my mouth like a miniature proto-Shuke. It, and life, was delicious.

Why would you cram a mini Shuke in your mouth?

WHY WOULDN'T YOU!!!?!?!?!?

 

[Tiger Fan]

need insuranceguy to check in hereour auto is set to go up about 125% in May.. homeowners up about 20%. looking for a new agent since our current guy is all but worthless.

State Farm is the answer. I just switched my homeowners and save over $300/yr. Switched car ins last year and saved nearly $1000/yr

All depends on where you are. Get quotes from multiple companies. I switched from state farm to met life and saved a ton (both auto and life).

 

[Britney Spears]

I know some of you guys don't venture out of the FFA and we have some beisbol nerds here, so I figured I'd post this here in addition to the baseball tangent fore arm:

Need to keep 8. 12 teams

5x5 H2H. Start: C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, 3OF, UTIL, 5SP, 4RP

I've bolded who I'm thinking about keeping right now

Pos - # of starters, Starter, Backup

C - 1, Napoli, S. Perez

1B - 1, Votto, Napoli

2B - 1, Kipnis, Barney, Profar

SS - 1, Escobar, Gordon

3B - 1, Lawrie, C. Johnson

OF - 3, Ellsbury, Pence, Heyward, Rios, Morse, Rasmus, De Aza, W. Myers

UTIL - 1, anyone

SP - 5, Cain, Grienke, Halladay, Capuano, Vargas, Harrison, Teheran

RP - 4, Rodney, Lopez, Holland, Frieri, Casilla, Cook

on the fence b/w Halladay and Pence right now. Thoughts.

Napoli is on there twice, so I would petition for a full redraft.

 

[rabidfireweasel]

In my hybrid painting/drawing/graphic novel thing I am working on, I an working on a section about being a giant jerk while being a serious poker nerd.

Today, I am still working on theRock 'em sock 'em robots with Nelson Muntz.

It was a little weird today. People stood outside my studio watching me paint through the storefront window. However, clearly I either had a powerful smell of had full serial killer look happening, because they did not want to enter.

Is it legal to use Nelson Muntz?

Possibly.there is a long history of stealing, I mean, appropriation, in art.

 

[ScottNorwood]

Who is this Engelbert dood?

 

[Frostillicus]

Frosty - You're up in Cake.

I don't think I'm in that league.

 

[phishphan]

Am I the only one who remembers the line from Tanner about sex on the couch over at e? It's one of my favorites. Cracked me up.

 

[Frostillicus]

Am I the only one who remembers the line from Tanner about sex on the couch over at e? It's one of my favorites. Cracked me up.

Big fan.

 

[mr. furley]

haven't kept up with this trend.. and don't click all the links here so

 

[shuke]

Local news doing a segment on the Cincy Zoo allowing volunteers to feed the baby gorillas until they are ready for release. They even give the volunteers gorilla hair chest suits.I don't know how much money we'd need to raise to get Shuke into one of those, but I'm willing to get the ball rolling here with a few Abraham Lincolns.

How do I sign up?

 

[shuke]

Hopefully she's not a stewardess

Hot

 

[Frostillicus]

Anybody have a killer soup recipe? My family is having a soup competition in early May. Leaning towards trying my hand at pho, but I'm looking for suggestions.

 

[shuke]

In my hybrid painting/drawing/graphic novel thing I am working on, I an working on a section about being a giant jerk while being a serious poker nerd.

Today, I am still working on theRock 'em sock 'em robots with Nelson Muntz.

Love it. Though I would find it even funnier if the SMUC was sliding into second base vs. an opponent who is either a fat slob in a t-shirt and cutoff jeans, or a butch lesbian.

I might have to go back into this one and rework the second baseman.Also, if anyone wants to be in one of these, here are the requirements:

You were/ are a young dad.

You pm me a picture of you as a young dad with you kid.

you face should be clearly visible, and it should look like you like your kid.

I can grab one off the inner webs, but I thought I would see if any GMTAN folk were interested.

Like this?

Why are all the fat jokes in this thread always about me?

Cute kid, Frosty.

 

[charvik]

Anybody have a killer soup recipe? My family is having a soup competition in early May. Leaning towards trying my hand at pho, but I'm looking for suggestions.

sure... what ingredients are you looking to use?