GM's thread about nothing (18 Viewers)

[cosjobs]

Maybe I'll have better luck in Austin next week.

Oh, yeah?

yeah but apparently the oaks isn't an approved flop house despite sponsoring his entire company last movember.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Ok, so this girl tonight...let's call her Sally...because that's her name. She's currently getting her MBA and a master's in International Policy. She speaks Spanish, French, Portugese, Arabic and Farsi. This chick is a brain with legs, yet luckily has horrible taste in men.

:facebookstalkactivated:Nice work, Homer. I'm a big fan of the Christmas elf pictures myself. Yowza.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Ok, so this girl tonight...let's call her Sally...because that's her name. She's currently getting her MBA and a master's in International Policy. She speaks Spanish, French, Portugese, Arabic and Farsi. This chick is a brain with legs, yet luckily has horrible taste in men.

Put away the phone/tab and talk to her? There are six languages available.

 

[Josie Maran]

Ok, so this girl tonight...let's call her Sally...because that's her name. She's currently getting her MBA and a master's in International Policy. She speaks Spanish, French, Portugese, Arabic and Farsi. This chick is a brain with legs, yet luckily has horrible taste in men.

It's 1:13 your time. And you are posting instead of porking?

I'm back home now. We're going out tomorrow on a real date, tonight was just an impromptu meet-up.

 

[proninja]

Abe, if you don't lock that 560 thread before 560, I'm going to be really disappointed

 

[cosjobs]

Abe, if you don't lock that 560 thread before 560, I'm going to be really disappointed

someone remind me to make an appearance at 420

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Remember that Amburglar chick? What was that all about?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Remember that Amburglar chick? What was that all about?

Large swaths of Canada seem pretty boring.

 

[Raider Nation]

Abe, if you don't lock that 560 thread before 560, I'm going to be really disappointed

Thank God some brain-dead nozzle came along and posted 100 straight times. We were having WAY too much fun in there.

 

[rockaction]

Abe, if you don't lock that 560 thread before 560, I'm going to be really disappointed

Thank God some brain-dead nozzle came along and posted 100 straight times. We were having WAY too much fun in there.

I kinda think you're a #####. So we can just avoid each other, other than in the SP.

 

[Raider Nation]

Abe, if you don't lock that 560 thread before 560, I'm going to be really disappointed

Thank God some brain-dead nozzle came along and posted 100 straight times. We were having WAY too much fun in there.

I kinda think you're a #####. So we can just avoid each other, other than in the SP.

It's okay, feel free to avoid me there too.

 

[rockaction]

Not sure why screwing around to reach a perceived goal should get your underwear in a bunch, but that's cool. No ill intent on my part, just effin around. Maybe we can agree on the Raiders and Justified. Good stuff.

 

[UniAlias]

Flysack is the resident tattoo fetish guy, right? How do you feel about ear gauges on petite blonde 23 year olds?

At first I thought it was kinda weird, but first date with heavily tattoo'd, slightly ear gauged girl I met at a concert last week went really well.

####, this is how people turn into weirdos isn't it?

 

[BigJohn]

Just got word that Stupid Ungrateful Hoor who quit just told one of her former clients she shouldn't buy from me "because he's really mean". You know what? NOWI feel like being really mean. She must really be feeling the heat to get this desperate but what are my options here?

At least I have funerals and wakes for tonight and the rest of the week so I have a good excuse to drown my anger and think about stuff. So I got that going for me. Please save the well wishes, you have all posted more than enough. Thanks again too.

Be careful.

 

[BigJohn]

Omgomgomg. I'm at a bar between the most awkward first date ever and my friend Kacey, who earlier shared with me that she is now in a relationship with a "guest of the state", who on her way to the bathroom struck up a conversation with a needy fat dude from the suburbs. ####, now I have to be a good wingman.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.We are a gentile folk. Buy him some cheesesticks, rub his belly and he'll probably fall asleep within 5 minutes.

 

[SofaKings]

Where is Homer? Half day?

 

[pricklypete]

Just got word that Stupid Ungrateful Hoor who quit just told one of her former clients she shouldn't buy from me "because he's really mean". You know what? NOWI feel like being really mean. She must really be feeling the heat to get this desperate but what are my options here?

How did you find out she'd said this? Did the client tell you?

The client told our customer service rep that she is close to here who passed it on to my Dad because she had to leave and I wasn't in the office.

I'm busy as hell but will be back later tonight. Should I get the Hennepin County Prosecutor involved? I'm not happy about this.

I think you need to do something to shut her up. Maybe a letter from a lawyer to scare her? Threaten a defamation suit?

Relax. Take the high road.

From what you have said previously, this woman is an awful salesperson. Also, from previous posts I have gathered that you are the bomb in terms of dealing with your clients.

People will see this. The more this old hag bad mouths you, the worse she looks. That is evident with the one client telling your company/dad. If they believed what she was saying, you wouldn't have heard a word about it.

Continue being the charismatic, charming, mofo you are and laugh it off. People will appreciate your sincerity over her crap. Trust me.

 

[phishphan]

Remember that Amburglar chick? What was that all about?

saw her bewb pic yesterday on a porn site.

 

[urbanhack]

Seriously..Hack, Rude, and Shuke?Gigantic piles of awesomeness there. Probably with some sloppy man-kisses involved.

It didn't happen. My flight kept getting delayed, then was canceled. Then I transfered to another flight, which was delayed. By the time I got here at 9:30, they were both in bed.

Night #2. A text to both them an hour ago went unanswered.

10:30 on a Tuesday night? Sorry I didn't jump out of bed, hop in a cab and get right down there.

 

[YSR]

Ok, doing the "I'm beat but know you'll take care of my friend" move. Fingers crossed.

How unattractive is she that she needs your help picking up a fat guy in a bar?

No kidding.

He wasn't actually fat. I was embellishing. He was likely much smaller than the average GMTANer. I'm not sure she needed my help but it's been a long time since I've been a wing woman, and she e-mailed me after to tell me what a good job I did.

So she had the sex?

Shockingly, that is not how women view success in this regard. YSR needs to back me up here. (Also, I don't think so. But maybe soon?)

 

[Josie Maran]

Where is Homer? Half day?

Important businessy meetings and stuff today.

 

[krista4]

Where is Homer? Half day?

Important businessy meetings and stuff today.

I am supposed to hear about whether I got Chicago job and NY job #1 this week. In the meantime, I was contacted about what looks like a better job than either of them. Made it to the in-person interviews that will like be week after next. This job is...on Long Island. Homer, need a roommate for that overpriced apartment of yours? Or should I just move into Oat's basement?

 

[krista4]

Omgomgomg. I'm at a bar between the most awkward first date ever and my friend Kacey, who earlier shared with me that she is now in a relationship with a "guest of the state", who on her way to the bathroom struck up a conversation with a needy fat dude from the suburbs. ####, now I have to be a good wingman.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.We are a gentile folk. Buy him some cheesesticks, rub his belly and he'll probably fall asleep within 5 minutes.

Just got word that Stupid Ungrateful Hoor who quit just told one of her former clients she shouldn't buy from me "because he's really mean". You know what? NOWI feel like being really mean. She must really be feeling the heat to get this desperate but what are my options here?

How did you find out she'd said this? Did the client tell you?

The client told our customer service rep that she is close to here who passed it on to my Dad because she had to leave and I wasn't in the office.

I'm busy as hell but will be back later tonight. Should I get the Hennepin County Prosecutor involved? I'm not happy about this.

I think you need to do something to shut her up. Maybe a letter from a lawyer to scare her? Threaten a defamation suit?

Relax. Take the high road.

From what you have said previously, this woman is an awful salesperson. Also, from previous posts I have gathered that you are the bomb in terms of dealing with your clients.

People will see this. The more this old hag bad mouths you, the worse she looks. That is evident with the one client telling your company/dad. If they believed what she was saying, you wouldn't have heard a word about it.

Continue being the charismatic, charming, mofo you are and laugh it off. People will appreciate your sincerity over her crap. Trust me.

 

[Guster]

Where is Homer? Half day?

Important businessy meetings and stuff today.

I am supposed to hear about whether I got Chicago job and NY job #1 this week. In the meantime, I was contacted about what looks like a better job than either of them. Made it to the in-person interviews that will like be week after next. This job is...on Long Island. Homer, need a roommate for that overpriced apartment of yours? Or should I just move into Oat's basement?

Woah, too cool! Good luck!!!Does this mean you're not running away to Nicaragua?

 

[Josie Maran]

Where is Homer? Half day?

Important businessy meetings and stuff today.

I am supposed to hear about whether I got Chicago job and NY job #1 this week. In the meantime, I was contacted about what looks like a better job than either of them. Made it to the in-person interviews that will like be week after next. This job is...on Long Island. Homer, need a roommate for that overpriced apartment of yours? Or should I just move into Oat's basement?

Hahaha holy schnikies. Now I'm thinking...houseboat!!!

 

[Bogart]

Just broke up with Non-Reader. Took only two texts, ironically.

She texted me last Thursday asking if I wanted to go to the Mavericks game that Friday. I politely declined, letting her know that I had my kids that weekend, and it just would not work out logistically. She got real pissy and short about it, and hadn't talked or texted me since. So I just told her we are not a match, she quickly replied and that is done.

Spent the rest of the night getting my Christmas tree and all the decorations out of the living room, watched Heat/Celtics and watching WBC (please don't get hurt Profar) now. All in all, a productive night.

what?

He said he spent the rest of the night getting his Christmas tree and all the decorations out of the living room.

I'm beginning to think there are some things that are just not meant to be shared on the Interwebs. This might have been one of those things.

 

[Bogart]

Flysack is the resident tattoo fetish guy, right? How do you feel about ear gauges on petite blonde 23 year olds?

At first I thought it was kinda weird, but first date with heavily tattoo'd, slightly ear gauged girl I met at a concert last week went really well.

####, this is how people turn into weirdos isn't it?

Wait, what?????

Did I miss the part where you are on the market again?

 

[Aerial Assault]

Flysack is the resident tattoo fetish guy, right? How do you feel about ear gauges on petite blonde 23 year olds?

At first I thought it was kinda weird, but first date with heavily tattoo'd, slightly ear gauged girl I met at a concert last week went really well.

####, this is how people turn into weirdos isn't it?

Wait, what?????

Did I miss the part where you are on the market again?

You were throwing out the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers.

 

[Bogart]

Flysack is the resident tattoo fetish guy, right? How do you feel about ear gauges on petite blonde 23 year olds?

At first I thought it was kinda weird, but first date with heavily tattoo'd, slightly ear gauged girl I met at a concert last week went really well.

####, this is how people turn into weirdos isn't it?

Wait, what?????

Did I miss the part where you are on the market again?

You were throwing out the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

JFC. I'm in here for 10 minutes and I've got the ####### Golden Girls theme song stuck in my head.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Omgomgomg. I'm at a bar between the most awkward first date ever and my friend Kacey, who earlier shared with me that she is now in a relationship with a "guest of the state", who on her way to the bathroom struck up a conversation with a needy fat dude from the suburbs. ####, now I have to be a good wingman.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.We are a gentile folk. Buy him some cheesesticks, rub his belly and he'll probably fall asleep within 5 minutes.

Yes, yes we are.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Currently having drinks with a six-foot yoga instructor. She's dreamy.

I dig tall chicks. I like a challenge.

 

[eaganwildcats]

Where is Homer? Half day?

Important businessy meetings and stuff today.

I am supposed to hear about whether I got Chicago job and NY job #1 this week. In the meantime, I was contacted about what looks like a better job than either of them. Made it to the in-person interviews that will like be week after next. This job is...on Long Island. Homer, need a roommate for that overpriced apartment of yours? Or should I just move into Oat's basement?

You could even have your own driveway.

 

[Sweet J]

So, I told this story to krista earlier, but I might as well repeat: I got a new boss about a year and a half ago. She's pretty awesome, really smart, and kinda hot. She's sitting in a political appointee slot until a new head of our office gets nominated. I run one of her sub-offices. She likes my work, and uses me and my office to troubleshoot.

So the last year has been pretty good. I stay busy, but not crazy busy. I'm a little worried that I'm no long working as an actual lawyer; I'm just a guy who manages an office, but whatever, I'm hoping it pays off.

So anyway, we are at a big meeting yesterday and making small-talk during a break, and my boss talks about how she had to get an appartment here in DC (she is based out of NY, but stays here every other week). I make some sort of non-committal comment about it being in a nice area of town, and she said something along the lines of: "oh, I need to get you over there to help me with something. I just had got some new furniture, and I can't move my TV." And then -- and this is where it gets kind of wonky -- she kind of touches me on my side, but close to my rear, and let's her hand linger there for a second. I made some sort of noise that probably resembled a nervous giggle, and then someone else stopped by, and the conversation moved on.

But it was really just a strange interaction. My boss has NEVER been anything but incredibly professional to me. Nice, sure. Jokes a lot, sure. But always professional. I did hear that she had a problem of messing around with her co-workers years ago. But I haven't seen anything funny.

Anyway, it kind of rattled me, for some strange reason. Maybe I'm just imagining things.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Flysack is the resident tattoo fetish guy, right? How do you feel about ear gauges on petite blonde 23 year olds?

At first I thought it was kinda weird, but first date with heavily tattoo'd, slightly ear gauged girl I met at a concert last week went really well.

####, this is how people turn into weirdos isn't it?

What's she reading?

Spoiler

I never much liked the ear gauge thing, on girls or guys. This might be a generational thing. While tattoos have been around forever in the first world, ear gauges are either 15,000 years old from Africa, 30 years old from Europe, or 20 years old from the U.S. If it's only a "slight" gauge on a petite heavily tattooed blond who thinks The Devil Wears Prada is for whiny *unts, then I'd say GAME ON, my friend, GAME ON.

Keep us posted on this one.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Omgomgomg. I'm at a bar between the most awkward first date ever and my friend Kacey, who earlier shared with me that she is now in a relationship with a "guest of the state", who on her way to the bathroom struck up a conversation with a needy fat dude from the suburbs. ####, now I have to be a good wingman.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.We are a gentile folk. Buy him some cheesesticks, rub his belly and he'll probably fall asleep within 5 minutes.

Yes, yes we are.

Jews do tend to live in cities.

 

[Plorfu]

Yeah, so I'm leaving for Vegas in a couple of hours. I've already been drinking since we have a designated driver. I'm pretty much just going to post this in every thread. March Madness in Vegas is like bacon-flavored hummers.

 

[cosjobs]

Flysack is the resident tattoo fetish guy, right? How do you feel about ear gauges on petite blonde 23 year olds?

At first I thought it was kinda weird, but first date with heavily tattoo'd, slightly ear gauged girl I met at a concert last week went really well.

####, this is how people turn into weirdos isn't it?

I thought you were in a relationship

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Yeah, so I'm leaving for Vegas in a couple of hours. I've already been drinking since we have a designated driver. I'm pretty much just going to post this in every thread. March Madness in Vegas is like bacon-flavored hummers.

Either seek help for licking automobiles or congratulations on coming out.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Where is Homer? Half day?

Important businessy meetings and stuff today.

I am supposed to hear about whether I got Chicago job and NY job #1 this week. In the meantime, I was contacted about what looks like a better job than either of them. Made it to the in-person interviews that will like be week after next. This job is...on Long Island. Homer, need a roommate for that overpriced apartment of yours? Or should I just move into Oat's basement?

Hahaha holy schnikies. Now I'm thinking...houseboat!!!

Come and knock on our door..... We've been waiting for you...... Where drinks are his and hers and his, Three's company too. Come and pass out on our floor...... Drinks are cloudy cold and new..... We've a chef and a lawyer and a bartender who needs your daughter's face, Three's company too. You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you...... Down at our rendez-vous, Three's company, too!

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Meter's off. [/smoo]

 

[Plorfu]

Yeah, so I'm leaving for Vegas in a couple of hours. I've already been drinking since we have a designated driver. I'm pretty much just going to post this in every thread. March Madness in Vegas is like bacon-flavored hummers.

Either seek help for licking automobiles or congratulations on coming out.

Ever tongued a 1985 Oldsmobile Calais? No? Then you haven't lived.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Meter's off. [/smoo]

"needs your daughter's face" is off for emphasis. [/Dryden]

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So, I told this story to krista earlier, but I might as well repeat: I got a new boss about a year and a half ago. She's pretty awesome, really smart, and kinda hot. She's sitting in a political appointee slot until a new head of our office gets nominated. I run one of her sub-offices. She likes my work, and uses me and my office to troubleshoot.

So the last year has been pretty good. I stay busy, but not crazy busy. I'm a little worried that I'm no long working as an actual lawyer; I'm just a guy who manages an office, but whatever, I'm hoping it pays off.

So anyway, we are at a big meeting yesterday and making small-talk during a break, and my boss talks about how she had to get an appartment here in DC (she is based out of NY, but stays here every other week). I make some sort of non-committal comment about it being in a nice area of town, and she said something along the lines of: "oh, I need to get you over there to help me with something. I just had got some new furniture, and I can't move my TV." And then -- and this is where it gets kind of wonky -- she kind of touches me on my side, but close to my rear, and let's her hand linger there for a second. I made some sort of noise that probably resembled a nervous giggle, and then someone else stopped by, and the conversation moved on.

But it was really just a strange interaction. My boss has NEVER been anything but incredibly professional to me. Nice, sure. Jokes a lot, sure. But always professional. I did hear that she had a problem of messing around with her co-workers years ago. But I haven't seen anything funny.

Anyway, it kind of rattled me, for some strange reason. Maybe I'm just imagining things.

My link

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Where is Homer? Half day?

Important businessy meetings and stuff today.

I am supposed to hear about whether I got Chicago job and NY job #1 this week. In the meantime, I was contacted about what looks like a better job than either of them. Made it to the in-person interviews that will like be week after next. This job is...on Long Island. Homer, need a roommate for that overpriced apartment of yours? Or should I just move into Oat's basement?

Hahaha holy schnikies. Now I'm thinking...houseboat!!!

Come and knock on our door..... We've been waiting for you...... Where drinks are his and hers and his, Three's company too. Come and pass out on our floor...... Drinks are cloudy cold and new..... We've a chef and a lawyer and a bartender who needs your daughter's face, Three's company too. You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you...... Down at our rendez-vous, Three's company, too!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Just got word that Stupid Ungrateful Hoor who quit just told one of her former clients she shouldn't buy from me "because he's really mean". You know what? NOWI feel like being really mean. She must really be feeling the heat to get this desperate but what are my options here?

How did you find out she'd said this? Did the client tell you?

The client told our customer service rep that she is close to here who passed it on to my Dad because she had to leave and I wasn't in the office.

If she cost you business by doing that sort of thing, you could sue her. I'm not saying do that, but I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to send her a certified letter that says, without naming names, that you have reliable information that she's making negative and false statements about you and the company to the company's customers and that you demand that she immediately stop.If it makes you feel better, I think under Missouri law you can also punch her in the throat.*

Note: I am not a Missouri lawyer.

Thanks GB. After not sleeping on it, I decided to wait and see if this repeats itself. at* She would literally die if I punched her once in the throat.

 

[BigJohn]

Omgomgomg. I'm at a bar between the most awkward first date ever and my friend Kacey, who earlier shared with me that she is now in a relationship with a "guest of the state", who on her way to the bathroom struck up a conversation with a needy fat dude from the suburbs. ####, now I have to be a good wingman.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.We are a gentile folk. Buy him some cheesesticks, rub his belly and he'll probably fall asleep within 5 minutes.

Yes, yes we are.

Jews do tend to live in cities.

Prussian.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

So, I told this story to krista earlier, but I might as well repeat: I got a new boss about a year and a half ago. She's pretty awesome, really smart, and kinda hot. She's sitting in a political appointee slot until a new head of our office gets nominated. I run one of her sub-offices. She likes my work, and uses me and my office to troubleshoot.

So the last year has been pretty good. I stay busy, but not crazy busy. I'm a little worried that I'm no long working as an actual lawyer; I'm just a guy who manages an office, but whatever, I'm hoping it pays off.

So anyway, we are at a big meeting yesterday and making small-talk during a break, and my boss talks about how she had to get an appartment here in DC (she is based out of NY, but stays here every other week). I make some sort of non-committal comment about it being in a nice area of town, and she said something along the lines of: "oh, I need to get you over there to help me with something. I just had got some new furniture, and I can't move my TV." And then -- and this is where it gets kind of wonky -- she kind of touches me on my side, but close to my rear, and let's her hand linger there for a second. I made some sort of noise that probably resembled a nervous giggle, and then someone else stopped by, and the conversation moved on.

But it was really just a strange interaction. My boss has NEVER been anything but incredibly professional to me. Nice, sure. Jokes a lot, sure. But always professional. I did hear that she had a problem of messing around with her co-workers years ago. But I haven't seen anything funny.

Anyway, it kind of rattled me, for some strange reason. Maybe I'm just imagining things.

She's into you. A woman's lingering touch is the biggest red flag there is; it's almost as big as laughing at every stupid joke you make. Choose...wisely.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Ok, doing the "I'm beat but know you'll take care of my friend" move. Fingers crossed.

How unattractive is she that she needs your help picking up a fat guy in a bar?

No kidding.

He wasn't actually fat. I was embellishing. He was likely much smaller than the average GMTANer. I'm not sure she needed my help but it's been a long time since I've been a wing woman, and she e-mailed me after to tell me what a good job I did.

So she had the sex?

Shockingly, that is not how women view success in this regard. YSR needs to back me up here. (Also, I don't think so. But maybe soon?)

Guessing no backup from YSR on this one.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Omgomgomg. I'm at a bar between the most awkward first date ever and my friend Kacey, who earlier shared with me that she is now in a relationship with a "guest of the state", who on her way to the bathroom struck up a conversation with a needy fat dude from the suburbs. ####, now I have to be a good wingman.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.We are a gentile folk. Buy him some cheesesticks, rub his belly and he'll probably fall asleep within 5 minutes.

Yes, yes we are.

Jews do tend to live in cities.

Prussian.

Blue?