GM's thread about nothing (36 Viewers)

[Captain Quinoa]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas. As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!" This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You motorboated them didn't you? You motorboatin' sonofabich!

 

[Uruk-Hai]

I saw a ( to me) chilling segment on the news this morning. Apparently, you can buy a mold to make plastic guns that shoot reall ammo. I'm most certainly not anti-gun (grew up hunting and believe we have the right to protect ourselves), but this scares the hell out of me.

I think you're talking about a 3D printed plastic gun.

Maybe, only caught part of it. The damned thing shoots live ammo, though.

 

[Britney Spears]

Travis Hasse's Apple Pie Liqueur. Any of you Wisconsin drunks ever hear of this stuff? It's delicious.

Never heard of it. But what I know as Apple Pie isn't a Liqueur. It's homemade with Everlcear and served warm

And it's fantastic

Apple pie shine is incredible.

There's nothing like tossing back a few gallons of it (spread amongst the whole group mind you...or you'll die) on a crisp Saturday morning before a college football game.

I think the stuff we have is slightly different. It's made in a still, not a jar. My hillbilly BIL makes it.

 

[Britney Spears]

I think we should have a giant GMTAN Paint-Off. Rabidfireweasle can be the judge.

in

Totally in. This is a great idea. The shtick work of people like Zooks and GM will be worth it alone. Maybe set a date? GMTAN paint-off entries due June 15th or something? I dunno. Maybe I'm taking it too seriously.

Annyong is actually a bad ### painter FYI.

 

[krista4]

K4> Ooof. Looks like you and Abe already hacked out what I said in my response.

No, your response was very, very helpful, and I appreciate it.

 

[krista4]

Happy Mother's Day Krista!

 

[cosjobs]

Happy Mothers Day to all of the FBMoms and soon-to-be FBMoms. Is anyone here a fan of the TV series "Justified"?. I'm one and a half episodes in and am intrigued so far. I don't particularly care for Olyphant as an actor - not sure why, really - but the rest of the cast seems really good. Is this show worth catching up on 4 seasons? I saw a ( to me) chilling segment on the news this morning. Apparently, you can buy a mold to make plastic guns that shoot reall ammo. I'm most certainly not anti-gun (grew up hunting and believe we have the right to protect ourselves), but this scares the hell out of me.

It's a good show. First season is okay, second season is really good.

Guilty pleasure for me. I could not really defend liking it, but I still do.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I like Justified but mainly bc of Olyphant. Not sure it's worth watching if you don't like him.

 

[YSR]

I like Justified but mainly bc of Olyphant. Not sure it's worth watching if you don't like him.

Goggins is a little over the top at times, but I loved the dance between Olyphant and Goggins in S1 and S2. And Art is a huge bonus as well.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas.

As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!"

This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You have to go to the gas station owner and get a copy of the video

and based on your description, I'm guessing you mean me and not SLBD GB.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas. As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!" This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You have to go to the gas station owner and get a copy of the video

and based on your description, I'm guessing you mean me and not SLBD GB.

The 'D' is for do not doll ya chasm-head

 

[shuke]

Happy Mothers Day to all of the FBMoms and soon-to-be FBMoms.

Is anyone here a fan of the TV series "Justified"?. I'm one and a half episodes in and am intrigued so far. I don't particularly care for Olyphant as an actor - not sure why, really - but the rest of the cast seems really good. Is this show worth catching up on 4 seasons?

I saw a ( to me) chilling segment on the news this morning. Apparently, you can buy a mold to make plastic guns that shoot reall ammo. I'm most certainly not anti-gun (grew up hunting and believe we have the right to protect ourselves), but this scares the hell out of me.

Good crime show, not groundbreaking or anything. If you don't like Olyphant, you'll probably hate it.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas. As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!" This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You have to go to the gas station owner and get a copy of the video

and based on your description, I'm guessing you mean me and not SLBD GB.

The 'D' is for do not doll ya chasm-head

Oh yeah.

 

[General Malaise]

Bought my wife a tree for mother's day. they wanted $100 to deliver and plant. I told them I could install it on my own. Forgot about that sweet layer of clay about a mile thick that I'm get to chew through. If anybody needs me, I'll be dying in my back yard. Abe, can I borrow some of your life insurance?

Wish I knew what to say on the clay. I've planted a lot of trees through rock but clay is a different beast.

Wasn't too bad at all. Mixed the loose soil with fresh compost and WA LA tree planted. Looked a lot taller in the store.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

I think we should have a giant GMTAN Paint-Off. Rabidfireweasle can be the judge.

in

Totally in. This is a great idea. The shtick work of people like Zooks and GM will be worth it alone. Maybe set a date? GMTAN paint-off entries due June 15th or something? I dunno. Maybe I'm taking it too seriously.

Annyong is actually a bad ### painter FYI.

Oh I know. He paints great boobs, froWhat I recall. And does awesome traffic cone performance art.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Gatsby was pretty good. Leo added nothing to the part (you're right GM - he's beginning to sour on me too), but overall the film was very good except for a heavy handed final ten minutes. Mrs. CC and I enjoyed it.

 

[cosjobs]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas. As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!" This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You have to go to the gas station owner and get a copy of the video

and based on your description, I'm guessing you mean me and not SLBD GB.

The 'D' is for do not doll ya chasm-head

THen maybe you should have used SLBVHD

 

[Tecumseh]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas.

As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!"

This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You have to go to the gas station owner and get a copy of the video

and based on your description, I'm guessing you mean me and not SLBD GB.

What Would St. Louis Bob Do

What Would Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll Do

Probably wouldn't go wrong either way

 

[cosjobs]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas.

As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!"

This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You have to go to the gas station owner and get a copy of the video

and based on your description, I'm guessing you mean me and not SLBD GB.

What Would St. Louis Bob Do

What Would Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll Do

Probably wouldn't go wrong either way

One is a knight in shining armor passing out Panera gift cards, the other one twisting a doobie to enjoy as you tour exotic locale.

Two different brands of awesome

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Hi guys!

 

[ScottNorwood]

Hi guys!

Hello Homer. How is your nutsack hanging?

 

[Mr.Pack]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas.

As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!"

This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

My Link

 

[Gadzooks]

Hi guys!

Happy MILFs Day.I love you

 

[Gadzooks]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas. As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!" This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

Thanks for getting married Stu, now we have these stories.I actually loved this story. Its kinda like a Golden Girls episode on late night Cinemax. Please try to remember to take pics/video next time. When I see the phrase "80 year old boobies" I expect to see a link.

 

[kevzilla]

Been waiting patiently for the last 18 hours for our GB Zooks to happen across this story.

 

[bentley]

Happy day to the mothers and mother####ers out there in gmtan world. We had a great day

 

[General Malaise]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas.

As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!"

This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

You have to go to the gas station owner and get a copy of the video

and based on your description, I'm guessing you mean me and not SLBD GB.

What Would St. Louis Bob Do

What Would Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll Do

Probably wouldn't go wrong either way

One is a knight in shining armor passing out Panera gift cards, the other one twisting a doobie to enjoy as you tour exotic locale.

Two different brands of awesome

 

[Gadzooks]

Reason #87 why I love my mother:

At a nice brunch today, my brother takes a nice picture of my parents and I perfectly photo bomb the pic. I put the pic on FB and tag my mother in it and write "mothers day photo bomb". A couple hours after brunch she calls me to say what a nice picture I put on FB but she didn't know what "photo bomb" meant. I explain it and she just says "oh that's strange". We hang up, a couple hours later she calls me back and says "did you know you're in the background of that picture?" After I finally stopped laughing I said "yeah, pretty good photo bomb". Long silence. Then she says "ooooohhhh, well that's kinda funny, I'm gonna show Dad again and tell him about the picture bomber, bye-bye".

 

[Annyong]

So when is the cool ranch version coming out homie?

 

[cosjobs]

Hi guys!

Hello Homer. How is your nutsack hanging?

Norwood is sooooo suave. He needs to post here more often to raise the level of discourse.

 

[UniAlias]

Happy day to the mothers and mother####ers out there in gmtan world. We had a great day

Had my mom and little sister over for dinner. Made pork tenderloin, green beans, creamed spinach, and mashed potatoes. For once everything somehow turned out perfect.

Drunk and hanging out on the patio now. Only thing that could possibly make life any better is a big stack of pull-tabs in front of me.

 

[Abraham]

My Mother's Day sucked. I took some change from my kids piggy bank to by my wife a card and then had a four hour meeting with my business partners about the reckoning on the way when the bank calls in our line of credit at the beginning of July. But I did scrounge up enough to buy the wife some roses tonight before we sat down to a meal she cooked herself on this special day.

I'm the biggest downer here, aren't I?

 

[General Malaise]

Reason #87 why I love my mother:At a nice brunch today, my brother takes a nice picture of my parents and I perfectly photo bomb the pic. I put the pic on FB and tag my mother in it and write "mothers day photo bomb". A couple hours after brunch she calls me to say what a nice picture I put on FB but she didn't know what "photo bomb" meant. I explain it and she just says "oh that's strange". We hang up, a couple hours later she calls me back and says "did you know you're in the background of that picture?" After I finally stopped laughing I said "yeah, pretty good photo bomb". Long silence. Then she says "ooooohhhh, well that's kinda funny, I'm gonna show Dad again and tell him about the picture bomber, bye-bye".

We did a big family brunch today after church. Had a dish called "Portuguese Fried Rice", which was fantastic. However, I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw one of the brunch options was Migas. Until you guys talked about the awesome Migas that Cosjobs made, I had never heard of it before and I don't think I ever encountered it on a menu here. I thought about ordering it, but I'm going to hold out for Coshole Two, Electric Bobaboo.

I wish they served brunch all day at restaurants. Brunch is awesome. Mimosas are terrific.

 

[General Malaise]

My Mother's Day sucked. I took some change from my kids piggy bank to by my wife a card and then had a four hour meeting with my business partners about the reckoning on the way when the bank calls in our line of credit at the beginning of July. But I did scrounge up enough to buy the wife some roses tonight before we sat down to a meal she cooked herself on this special day. I'm the biggest downer here, aren't I?

When I'm feeling sorry for myself because I don't make the money I did when I was 30 or when I realize I have about 1% of my kids' college funding saved up or when I realize my retirement account is about 1/5th of the size it was in 2005 or that I'm 20 pounds heavier than I used to be or that i have lost half of the partners I brought into our firm since 2008 meaning my pay is about 40% less what it once was, you know what I do? I think about Bigbottom and his son battling cancerous brain tumors and the aplomb, dignity and courage that boy and his family have shown while battling this great, terrifying fear. Or I think about my friend who has a few months left to live. Or our buddy Bill who despite resounding great news on his current health outlook, no doubt has some great concerns and worry that he shades from us here.Point is, you're not a downer and I get that it's a bad stretch, but it could be a lot worse and you have to try and remain optimistic and remember that it isn't quite as a bad as it could be.

 

[Abraham]

My Mother's Day sucked. I took some change from my kids piggy bank to by my wife a card and then had a four hour meeting with my business partners about the reckoning on the way when the bank calls in our line of credit at the beginning of July. But I did scrounge up enough to buy the wife some roses tonight before we sat down to a meal she cooked herself on this special day. I'm the biggest downer here, aren't I?

When I'm feeling sorry for myself because I don't make the money I did when I was 30 or when I realize I have about 1% of my kids' college funding saved up or when I realize my retirement account is about 1/5th of the size it was in 2005 or that I'm 20 pounds heavier than I used to be or that i have lost half of the partners I brought into our firm since 2008 meaning my pay is about 40% less what it once was, you know what I do? I think about Bigbottom and his son battling cancerous brain tumors and the aplomb, dignity and courage that boy and his family have shown while battling this great, terrifying fear. Or I think about my friend who has a few months left to live. Or our buddy Bill who despite resounding great news on his current health outlook, no doubt has some great concerns and worry that he shades from us here.Point is, you're not a downer and I get that it's a bad stretch, but it could be a lot worse and you have to try and remain optimistic and remember that it isn't quite as a bad as it could be.

You are right. I don't have any problems I can't solve myself over time. And some good people in here have real struggles out of their control. Thank you for some perspective. Truly.

 

[Frostillicus]

I didn't get my wife a card or a present because she bought herself an ipad mini earlier this week. I got up with the kids and let her sleep in until 9 this morning, then went and got her coffee and then went back again after the screwed up the order which actually took about an hour altogether since Caribou was running a BOGO. Then we went to a park with the kids, then to a bakery and ate sandwiches, then to another park, then to a bookstore, then to the local bar for pulltabs and dinner, then home where I gave the kids a bath and then took them in the basement to play Zelda so the wife could watch a stupid lifetime movie in peace. Put the kids to bed and then drove the 15 minutes each way to Hudson to get more wine for Sarah since Minnesota has stupid laws and we were out of booze.

Sounds like a lot, but then when I got home she thanked me for the day in a very exciting way. It's been a good day. I'm working from home tomorrow so I'm going to wait for her to pass out and then go fall down in the driveway when I try to smoke a cigarette

 

[mr roboto]

Abe,

This #### is fuel. It has to be, for you and your family. You never want to be here again. And you won't. Why? Because you won't. You can't. Your wife may not know that right now. Hell, she may not even be able to believe it if you told her.

You tried something many people wouldn't. It didn't work. You know why, and I'm sure you feel responsible. Good. Feel that. Own it. The 2 worst mindsets you could have right now is that you had bad luck and it wasn't your fault (many people think this is the nice thing to say or believe) and the other is that you are never going to catch up.

The failure is the most transformative thing that could have happened to you. It's power is best extracted when you clearly see how it happened, what you did or didn't do, and learn. Do not waste that opportunity on pity or self-protective scapegoating. Swallow deep and power on. I'm rooting for you.

 

[Abraham]

Abe,This #### is fuel. It has to be, for you and your family. You never want to be here again. And you won't. Why? Because you won't. You can't. Your wife may not know that right now. Hell, she may not even be able to believe it if you told her. You tried something many people wouldn't. It didn't work. You know why, and I'm sure you feel responsible. Good. Feel that. Own it. The 2 worst mindsets you could have right now is that you had bad luck and it wasn't your fault (many people think this is the nice thing to say or believe) and the other is that you are never going to catch up. The failure is the most transformative thing that could have happened to you. It's power is best extracted when you clearly see how it happened, what you did or didn't do, and learn. Do not waste that opportunity on pity or self-protective scapegoating. Swallow deep and power on. I'm rooting for you.

Thanks. Saving this.

 

[shuke]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas.

As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!"

This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

There has to be a lot of exaggeration here.

 

[shuke]

Reason #87 why I love my mother:At a nice brunch today, my brother takes a nice picture of my parents and I perfectly photo bomb the pic. I put the pic on FB and tag my mother in it and write "mothers day photo bomb". A couple hours after brunch she calls me to say what a nice picture I put on FB but she didn't know what "photo bomb" meant. I explain it and she just says "oh that's strange". We hang up, a couple hours later she calls me back and says "did you know you're in the background of that picture?" After I finally stopped laughing I said "yeah, pretty good photo bomb". Long silence. Then she says "ooooohhhh, well that's kinda funny, I'm gonna show Dad again and tell him about the picture bomber, bye-bye".

 

[shuke]

Gatsby was pretty good. Leo added nothing to the part (you're right GM - he's beginning to sour on me too), but overall the film was very good except for a heavy handed final ten minutes. Mrs. CC and I enjoyed it.

Does this mean you'll stop talking about it?

 

[shuke]

Now this is how you post drunk. No fake bad spelling necessary.

Link

Link

 

[proninja]

Abe,This #### is fuel. It has to be, for you and your family. You never want to be here again. And you won't. Why? Because you won't. You can't. Your wife may not know that right now. Hell, she may not even be able to believe it if you told her. You tried something many people wouldn't. It didn't work. You know why, and I'm sure you feel responsible. Good. Feel that. Own it. The 2 worst mindsets you could have right now is that you had bad luck and it wasn't your fault (many people think this is the nice thing to say or believe) and the other is that you are never going to catch up. The failure is the most transformative thing that could have happened to you. It's power is best extracted when you clearly see how it happened, what you did or didn't do, and learn. Do not waste that opportunity on pity or self-protective scapegoating. Swallow deep and power on. I'm rooting for you.

This was so inspirational I just shook my fist in the air, cussed, and now I feel great

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Now this is how you post drunk. No fake bad spelling necessary.

Link

Are we sure that's drunk posting?

 

[Tecumseh]

Stopped at a gas station today with my wife and daughter. After getting gas, I'm open my door when I'm flagged down by a woman at the pump opposite and diagonal from me. She looks to be in her late seventies/early eighties. I walk over, and she is having problems pumping gas into her Jag because she hasn't pulled forward far enough. The hose is stretched to it's full length, but is just long enough to be able to reach the tank. She says she's having trouble getting the gas to pump, and asks if I can help. I say to myself, "Self, WWSLBD?" After dismissing making reservations for the orgy at our community pool, and diving off the back of her trunk head-first into the asphalt, I tell her "no problem," and take over pumping her gas.

As I begin pumping the gas, the woman takes a step toward me, and is now well within the uncomfortable zone. I then feel her hand resting on my back, and slowly sliding downward, all as she is staring intently directly at my face. (Keep in mind that this is no more than 10 feet from where my wife and child are waiting in the car for me). So her hand is firmly on my ### as I finish pumping the gas. I remove the nozzle from the tank (not a euphemism), and try to replace it, but she is still standing in my way, staring at me. She takes the nozzle with one hand (still not a euphemism) and grasps my wrist with the other, and pulls both into her 80-something year old chest, forcing the back of my hand into her 80-something year old boobies. She's still staring at me intently, but finally lets me go, thanking me all the while. As I tell her "no problem," and begin walking away, the last thing she says is "Have a wonderful Mother's Day with your wife!"

This is what happens when WWSLBD goes wrong.

There has to be a lot of exaggeration here.

Not one iota. I have witnesses.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Duck Dynasty just came on. I'll never understand the appeal of this show.

 

[shuke]

Now this is how you post drunk. No fake bad spelling necessary.

Link

Are we sure that's drunk posting?

Seemed random enough. I don't know, maybe I'm the one that's drunk.

 

[Frostillicus]

TRE -> hi

 

[Britney Spears]

My Mother's Day sucked. I took some change from my kids piggy bank to by my wife a card and then had a four hour meeting with my business partners about the reckoning on the way when the bank calls in our line of credit at the beginning of July. But I did scrounge up enough to buy the wife some roses tonight before we sat down to a meal she cooked herself on this special day. I'm the biggest downer here, aren't I?

When I'm feeling sorry for myself because I don't make the money I did when I was 30 or when I realize I have about 1% of my kids' college funding saved up or when I realize my retirement account is about 1/5th of the size it was in 2005 or that I'm 20 pounds heavier than I used to be or that i have lost half of the partners I brought into our firm since 2008 meaning my pay is about 40% less what it once was, you know what I do? I think about Bigbottom and his son battling cancerous brain tumors and the aplomb, dignity and courage that boy and his family have shown while battling this great, terrifying fear. Or I think about my friend who has a few months left to live. Or our buddy Bill who despite resounding great news on his current health outlook, no doubt has some great concerns and worry that he shades from us here.Point is, you're not a downer and I get that it's a bad stretch, but it could be a lot worse and you have to try and remain optimistic and remember that it isn't quite as a bad as it could be.

WTF?!? Bigbottom's son has cancer?

 

[cosjobs]

I tend to post this stuff late, with not much of an audience. Here's another one.

Next Monday, ao begins its transition into a wellness retreat. Call it Paleo, call it ancestral health, call it anything you want. I have aligned with Paul Jaminet to create an environment where the ill can possibly find a path to healthfulness through our direction. It will be a 30 day program where we teach our clients the path to removing toxins from their diet, replacing them with a dietary plan and lifestyle crafted to maximize their body's ability to heal itself.

The entire plan is far more complex than I ca describe here in a short time, but I am truly excited with the possibilities that exist. One of our brethren will be joining the beta program next Monday. I have had a few inquiries from others. including some wishing to join me in my efforts to recreate Ao in this new direction.

This first beta round, we will be attempting to help folks with a variety of maladies: Lupus, Essentntial Tremors, Obesity, High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Alcoholism, Malnourishment, degenerative joints, dementia/Alzhemier's, Psoriasis and more. We do not believe our program (PHD30) will be a panacea for all involved, but we are anxious to find out whom we can benefit the most, with all expected to get better. I have one or two beds open for the 30 day beta at no charge. Contact me if you or someone you know could possibly benefit but not be able to afford it when we go to a pay per month model.I will always have a couple of spaces available on a free or sliding scale to assist those less fortunate, but at some point I need to make this into a self-sustaining venture and with our limited space and extreme personal interaction and planning, its not going to be cheap.

Check out Paul Jaminet's (my partner in this) book at Amazon, The Perfect Health Diet. The whole program is based on that tome.

I love you

cos