GM's thread about nothing (38 Viewers)

[Mr. Pickles]

We won both softball games tonight against the 2nd best team in the league.

WAY TO GO, WOZ!

You said this last week.

Nice win, Peens.

 

[Thorn]

What's a "strip" club?

Fully clothed offdee 4's pole dancing for $38 drinks?

OH BULL####

I don't really remember.

There was one great big fat stripper covered in tattoos who was probably an Offdee 4. The other 3 girls were just really trashy. So, so trashy.

I was so confused. Do I tip them? And if so, for what? And why $38 for a drink for her? Seems so arbitrary.

Also, the madam/hostess lady who kept asking "are you gonna buy this pretty girl a drink?" didn't even crack a smile when I asked, "when are you gonna buy this (points to self) pretty girl a drink?"

 

[Thorn]

zooks/guster/homer/stu: I got hammered yesterday and a friend and I pulled a couple of ladies out of a bar. I ended up getting cockblocked, but she's been texting me all day hoping to meet up without her friend. I don't remember her name. Advise?

"How do I spell your name? I am saving it in my phone for next Friday."

What is your name?

[angry response]

Lol no, your last name silly!

 

[Homer J Simpson]

So, after a three week swath of destruction that culminated in coming home after dinner Sunday to a backyard that looked like the aftermath of a Jimmy Buffett concert, I finally snapped and told the grandmother of the three kids responsible (all under 10 I think) that they aren't to come anywhere near my yard again. I also gave her the pile of trash I picked up on the short walk up the street to their house (unsurprisingly, the stuff I delivered happened to be the same brands and flavors of the matching refuse already in her yard.).Had to run them off again today, and made it abundantly clear directly to them that they were not to be on my property again.Pretty sure my house is going to be torched within the week, right?They've trampled half my landscaping, used my patio furniture as a boost to get on my patio roof, play on the bed of any pickup truck in the area, been on the neighbor's garage roof, broken a bottle in the driveway of the house on the other side of that, and that's just been in the past two days.The youngest, a girl of about 6, peeks through the front door instead of knocking, begs for treats, pulls on my screen door frame which tears the screen, and had gone into the neighbor's house and opened his bathroom door while he was in the shower.I feel bad telling kids they aren't welcome, but I've had it. The slope of the street pretty much precludes a fence (not that existing fences have deterred these kids in any way). Is it even worth it going to their mom/grandmother when I inevitably find them in my yard tomorrow, or should I just start calling the police? I'm pretty positive all the surrounding neighbors will back me up (the problem kids are 6-7 houses up the street).

Hot.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

zooks/guster/homer/stu: I got hammered yesterday and a friend and I pulled a couple of ladies out of a bar. I ended up getting cockblocked, but she's been texting me all day hoping to meet up without her friend. I don't remember her name. Advise?

"How do I spell your name? I am saving it in my phone for next Friday."

What is your name? [angry response] Lol no, your last name silly!

This. Or if you take her out, go somewhere where you know the bartender and have him ask her name.

 

[cosjobs]

I tend to post this stuff late, with not much of an audience. Here's another one.

Next Monday, ao begins its transition into a wellness retreat. Call it Paleo, call it ancestral health, call it anything you want. I have aligned with Paul Jaminet to create an environment where the ill can possibly find a path to healthfulness through our direction. It will be a 30 day program where we teach our clients the path to removing toxins from their diet, replacing them with a dietary plan and lifestyle crafted to maximize their body's ability to heal itself.

The entire plan is far more complex than I ca describe here in a short time, but I am truly excited with the possibilities that exist. One of our brethren will be joining the beta program next Monday. I have had a few inquiries from others. including some wishing to join me in my efforts to recreate Ao in this new direction.

This first beta round, we will be attempting to help folks with a variety of maladies: Lupus, Essentntial Tremors, Obesity, High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Alcoholism, Malnourishment, degenerative joints, dementia/Alzhemier's, Psoriasis and more. We do not believe our program (PHD30) will be a panacea for all involved, but we are anxious to find out whom we can benefit the most, with all expected to get better. I have one or two beds open for the 30 day beta at no charge. Contact me if you or someone you know could possibly benefit but not be able to afford it when we go to a pay per month model.I will always have a couple of spaces available on a free or sliding scale to assist those less fortunate, but at some point I need to make this into a self-sustaining venture and with our limited space and extreme personal interaction and planning, its not going to be cheap.

Check out Paul Jaminet's (my partner in this) book at Amazon, The Perfect Health Diet. The whole program is based on that tome.

I love you

cos

Interesting. Do you have any concern about trying to treat too wide of an array of issues?

First off, we are not "treating" as we are not a medical facility.

We believe that many, if not most of the maladies are caused by either toxins or lack of nutrients. Our plan removes most known toxins from your diet and we then have a nutrient dense diet intended to maximize your body's ability to repair itself. This can work a wide array of ailments and disorders. It has seems to be especially effective on nervous and immune system disorders, which is logical, These nervous and immune systems are the first line of reaction and defense against toxins.

Its logical to think that your immune system gets out of whack if it is relentlessly bombarded by toxins. If its always reacting to wheat or or other common foods you ingest on a daily basis, it really doesn't do a very efficient job of warding off other systemic attacks. If you cut out the toxins, the immune system can then more readily do its normal protective function. Eating a lot of nutrient dense food then nourishes the system to operate at its highest level.

It has shown a lot of promise in the treatment of migraines. I sent you a PM a while back mentioning that. We should talk next time you're in town and I'lI bring you a copy of the book. It might help and it almost certainly poses no risk.

I think following a circadian cycle can also really help, as that is how we evolved to rest and regenerate. Blue light after dusk has shown to increase the risk of cancer, diabetes and strokes. Lots of weird new thoughts and theories coming out and being clinically studied. Havard Medical did the blue light studies last year.

 

[cosjobs]

can you poke smot during this AO Boot Camp?

Its certainly not something we care much about at this point. It can make you forgetful and at least temporarily stupid, but it does not seem to be toxic. We will have two heavy pot smokers in the beta. We are more concerned with getting rid of thing we are fairly certain are harmful and toxic.

 

[strykerpks]

What else is for sale? I like stuff.

I'm having a fire sale at the homestead. You like Mikasa china?

Trying to avoid selling my 77 les Paul custom. I actually might choose divorce over getting rid of it.

What are you selling it for? Whatever it is, it is too much. I will send you $500 cash (and pay shipping) right now for it.

Why doesn't Abe just declare bankruptcy?

Because I have the money to pay my bills on time. And I have gainful employment to make sure that continues. It's just a big hole to get out of.

No you don't have that money. I'm not going to pretend that I can dispense advice like the rest of the people in this thread because they're much smarter than me. But you don't have the money to pay your bills on time.

If you do, then PAY YOUR ####### BILLS.

Sorry for being blunt but from one person who lives paycheck to paycheck to another...#### off. You have the liberty to negotiate for a near 6 figure salary. I make 40K. I still find time to make my life work and make my wife and child happy. You can play the "woe is me" card for as long as you want. But at some point the advice you're given here needs to be put into practice. You've told us about financial troubles that you've told your wife. And now we're finding out about financial troubles you JUST told her about? Sweet baby Jeebus. Who else are you lying to? Us? Your Wife? Your creditors?

You have one choice and one choice period...sell everything. Your shed? $25. You Les Paul? $500. Your golf cart? $750. 6 pairs of jeans? $100. 37 T-Shirts? $4.75. A sweater vest? $3200.

At what point do you say "Enough is enough. I have no money, my children have nothing, my wife has nothing, I have nothing....I should probably put down the Keystone Light and focus on making money and providing for my family." ? That should be today.

I challenge you to drink no more than a case (24 -12 oz cans- total) until Memorial Day. I will do it with you and document it in this thread. Can you do it? I'm a drunk and I want to accomplish this with you. We both need it.

I've seen a 4/10 effort from you. It seems like you're more focused on putting an update in spoilers in this thread than actually doing something.

Do something. Anything. Today.

 

[waiver wire]

there is not much in calgary

the biggest event is the calgary stampede , which is in early july and it is 10 or 12 days of boozing

you have to hit this pub over 100 beers on tap

if you have time to spare i would hit lake louise or banff

if you are a golfer this was ranked #7 course in canada

THE THOMPSON at Fairmont Banff Springs Golf Club

and this one was ranked #33

calgary golf and country club

CC - I'm going to Calgary in June...anything worthwhile to do there?

 

[cosjobs]

What else is for sale? I like stuff.

I'm having a fire sale at the homestead. You like Mikasa china?

Trying to avoid selling my 77 les Paul custom. I actually might choose divorce over getting rid of it.

What are you selling it for? Whatever it is, it is too much. I will send you $500 cash (and pay shipping) right now for it.

>

Why doesn't Abe just declare bankruptcy?

Because I have the money to pay my bills on time. And I have gainful employment to make sure that continues. It's just a big hole to get out of.

No you don't have that money. I'm not going to pretend that I can dispense advice like the rest of the people in this thread because they're much smarter than me. But you don't have the money to pay your bills on time.

If you do, then PAY YOUR ####### BILLS.

Sorry for being blunt but from one person who lives paycheck to paycheck to another...#### off. You have the liberty to negotiate for a near 6 figure salary. I make 40K. I still find time to make my life work and make my wife and child happy. You can play the "woe is me" card for as long as you want. But at some point the advice you're given here needs to be put into practice. You've told us about financial troubles that you've told your wife. And now we're finding out about financial troubles you JUST told her about? Sweet baby Jeebus. Who else are you lying to? Us? Your Wife? Your creditors?

You have one choice and one choice period...sell everything. Your shed? $25. You Les Paul? $500. Your golf cart? $750. 6 pairs of jeans? $100. 37 T-Shirts? $4.75. A sweater vest? $3200.

At what point do you say "Enough is enough. I have no money, my children have nothing, my wife has nothing, I have nothing....I should probably put down the Keystone Light and focus on making money and providing for my family." ? That should be today.

I challenge you to drink no more than a case (24 -12 oz cans- total) until Memorial Day. I will do it with you and document it in this thread. Can you do it? I'm a drunk and I want to accomplish this with you. We both need it.

I've seen a 4/10 effort from you. It seems like you're more focused on putting an update in spoilers in this thread than actually doing something.

Do something. Anything. Today.

I've been drinking too much as well. I will endorse and join this challenge, but I will substitute half a case of wine for the duration. Six bottles in a little over two weeks is a HUGE reduction for me and something I've had on the back burner to do for a while. Fact is that I am an enormously weak person. Giving up grains and sugar really has not been that hard, but going cigaretteless today and the thought of a 75% cut in alcohol intake is truly frightening. But I'll do it for my GBCD. Are you still smoking? $8 a day? $240 a month. That might be also be useful to you. Downside is the increased likelihood you murder your wife battling the nicotine demons. I'd rather kick a coke habit than frakkin cigs.

 

[krista4]

HOW ABOUT OUR MOTHER FORKING GRIZZLIES, K4!!!!111

I'd like a seat on this bandwagon

Really fun team. Welcome aboard.

 

[BigJohn]

Craigslist has been letting me down lately. Couldn't sell my Killers tickets Thursday or Friday. My metal storage shed (asking $100) has received a single inquiry. My golf cart ($1500) hasn't fetched a single offer.

wtf

I own a golf cart. We used to use it to cruise around then neighborhood to go to the pool or get the mail or whatever. We need to sell it. Interested?

F-ing S, dude.

 

[Abraham]

Are we curbing our drinking between now and Memorial Day weekend or actual Memorial day? Regardless, Challenge accepted. 24 beers between now and the appointed date.

And I don't have a 100k job. I have a good job at a great company but my base pay is far below that (I'm in sales).

 

[Crazy Canuck]

lol at bringing the grade UP to a 51%. Rupert's mom is raising a great prison bottom.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

If anyone recalls (shocked if you do), last Saturday I surprised the wife with a cute new dress and movie tickets for a pre-Mother's Day treat. We left Flaming Bird with our babysitter and had a great time.

But a couple days later I get a text from our babysitter -"Oh yea, I forgot to tell you - Flaming Bird tried to kiss me, several times. I let him kiss me on the cheek, but he kept trying to turn my face."



Even though he's still in kindergarten, FB has a girlfriend. He told us. And she's the aggressive one. I've personally witnessed her blowing him kisses, hugging him with great zest, etc. Apparently they snuck under the playground and kissed a bunch of times, etc. It's just little kids exploring things harmlessly, and FB is very open to us about it. If it went further I'm confident he'd tell me. But his Kindergarden Girlfriend isn't the problem. The problem is she's made the little ******* cocky. He's the only kid his age with a girlfriend so now he thinks he's so hot he can mack it with 21 year old blond college girls.

We had to have a little talk. His mother got all feministy and spoke about the body and personal space, blah, blah, blah. I asked if he was trying to kiss the babysitter like he kisses his mommy or because she's a pretty girl. "Pretty girl," he says with a sly grin.

(I know I shouldn't say this, but I kinda admire the balls on this kid - figuratively speaking of course)

So I stressed how kissing girlfriends his age was ok if they said it was ok, but you can't do that with adults, and the blond babysitter is an adult, even if she's one of daddy's students. He understood (I hope).

I'm so screwed when this kid hits puberty.

 

[Gadzooks]

Stryker said exactly what I was thinking (apparently less than average minds think alike)

Odd question for you Abe: do you want to stay married? Reason I ask is because maybe you've done all these things to subconsciously (sp?) damage your marriage and make your wife want to be the one to end it. A girl I used to date years and years ago who I stay in contact with met me for lunch a couple weeks ago and told me she cheated on her husband and he found out and he is divorcing her. She feels awful and she doesn't know why she cheated, she doesn't like the guy she had the affair with, she's been married for 10 years and didn't have any major issues with her husband except that she just hasn't felt happy in her marriage for years. Her husband found out about the affair because she didn't hide it very well, she said it was almost like she wanted to get caught and now that her husband is filing for divorce she said it feels like such a relief to her. She feels completely awful and thinks she's going to hell for feeling this way and doing what she did. But, she thinks divorce is the best thing for her and the husband but she never would've had the guts to do it herself.

Maybe I'm totally off base with that, and I'm sorry if I am. But I just noticed some similarities between my friend's behavior and yours. Obviously the actions are completely different (she cheated and you mishandled money) but both of you weren't honest and violated the trust of your spouse and both of you know what you did was wrong and you don't know why you did it.

I wish you the best of luck. It goes without saying that everyone here is rooting for you. And like the others said, it's time sack up and put on your big-boy sweatervest and fix your life.

I love you

 

[Tiger Fan]

CC - I'm going to Calgary in June...anything worthwhile to do there?

My Canadian cred is really overblown. I don't have the slightest clue. Never been to Calgary. Never been anywhere in Canada except the Niagara Peninsula, Toronto and Montreal (once, during spring break, when I was already more American than Canadian, meaning I got drunk, puked in the streets, and visited strip clubs).

I haven't even crossed the border since 9/11. I hear it's a lot harder than the days when I used to walk across with a NYS driver's license and 1 sheet of LSD taped to my thigh.

I think Tiger was kidding, but if not....isn't Calgary like in the middle of nowhere? North of Montana, south of nothing? It's like asking Tiger for his recommendations in Boise, ID. (great town, btw).

Not kidding...have to spend a week there for work...just curious if there's anything cool to do

 

[Crazy Canuck]

CC - I'm going to Calgary in June...anything worthwhile to do there?

My Canadian cred is really overblown. I don't have the slightest clue. Never been to Calgary. Never been anywhere in Canada except the Niagara Peninsula, Toronto and Montreal (once, during spring break, when I was already more American than Canadian, meaning I got drunk, puked in the streets, and visited strip clubs).

I haven't even crossed the border since 9/11. I hear it's a lot harder than the days when I used to walk across with a NYS driver's license and 1 sheet of LSD taped to my thigh.

I think Tiger was kidding, but if not....isn't Calgary like in the middle of nowhere? North of Montana, south of nothing? It's like asking Tiger for his recommendations in Boise, ID. (great town, btw).

Not kidding...have to spend a week there for work...just curious if there's anything cool to do

No idea. I know it's not a dead city. It is the capital of Canada, eh. But I know nothing about it. The last I heard of Calgary was when a group of super rich Domincan students said they spent four days there last summer for some musical festival. The came back with all smiles and nothing but praise. But that might have been because they all got laid by drugged up groupies. I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe find a music festival and sport a really dark tan?

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Abe> Just so you know, I'm pulling for you buddy. Just not commenting because your situation is so far beyond me that anything I say will be superficial, off target, and plain well dumb. But I'm sending the positive karma your way. Best.

 

[Tiger Fan]

there is not much in calgary

the biggest event is the calgary stampede , which is in early july and it is 10 or 12 days of boozing

you have to hit this pub over 100 beers on tap

if you have time to spare i would hit lake louise or banff

if you are a golfer this was ranked #7 course in canada

THE THOMPSON at Fairmont Banff Springs Golf Club

and this one was ranked #33

calgary golf and country club

CC - I'm going to Calgary in June...anything worthwhile to do there?

thx

 

[BigJohn]

Can I join the drinking challenge? I haven't had 24 beers over two weeks in years...

 

[phishphan]

zooks/guster/homer/stu: I got hammered yesterday and a friend and I pulled a couple of ladies out of a bar. I ended up getting cockblocked, but she's been texting me all day hoping to meet up without her friend. I don't remember her name. Advise?

"How do I spell your name? I am saving it in my phone for next Friday."

What is your name?

[angry response]

Lol no, your last name silly!

that is genius.

 

[phishphan]

I got a message today that I needed to call a parent in regards to a kid's grade. Now this kid hasn't done much all year. He'd rather talk to his "girlfiends". In the words of Paulie Walnuts this kid is "half-a-feg". We'll call him Rupert.

The school year ends in just a couple of weeks and Rupert just now realized he can't get another "F" or he doesn't get to participate in a bunch of year-end stuff. So last week he hands me this STACK of papers that he should have turned in sometime in the last freaking 3 months or so. It looked like he kept most of the papers at the bottom of his backpack and/or a hole in a tree somewhere. I gave him partial credit on some and it brought his grade up to something like a 51%.

Anyway I call his mom on my prep period:

Mom: I just wanted to touch base with you [i hate that phrase] about Rupert's grade. He said he turned in all of his late work on Thursday but I see he still has an "F". Is this correct?

Me: I believe it is but let me double-check the grade book. [click-click-click] Yes, Rupert currently has a 51%...

Mom: [cutting me off] How can that be if he turned in all of his late work?

Me: Well, he did turn in most of the papers from the last three chapters but nearly all of them were incomplete. I was actually pretty generous in the amount of credit I gave him.

Mom: What chapters did he turn in?

Me: [looking through the mess of crap the kid gave me] He gave me 4 out of the 6 papers for Chapter 14, 5 of the 6 papers for Chapter 15, and all 4 of the papers for chapter 16. But like he didn't even finish most of the papers.

Mom: What about Chapters 12 or 13?

Me: [looking through another stack of papers that I put aside and labeled 'too late'] Well he did turn in about 3/4 of the work from those chapters but unfortunately those were from last quarter.

Mom: So you're not going to give him credit for those?

Me: Ummm...I really can't Those grades closed back in March. [WTF]

Mom: Well can't you give him credit on THIS quarter for that work?

Me: Yeah...I really can't do that. That work was due 12 weeks ago.

Mom: Is that your policy?

Me: [i actually chuckle a bit] Well I would guess that it is pretty much standard for almost every teacher.

Mom: Well I don't agree with that. I'm going to speak to the 8th Grade Dean about this and probably the principal.

Me: If you feel that strongly about it I guess you should [i really wanted her to do this just so the admins can see how crazy she is].

Then she just hung up on me.

The Dean sent me an email about 25 minutes later saying "Do not adjust Rupert's grade".

For something that has absolutely nothing to do with me, I was going to be really pissed off if you had to pass that worthless piece of poop

 

[Abraham]

Stryker said exactly what I was thinking (apparently less than average minds think alike)

Odd question for you Abe: do you want to stay married? Reason I ask is because maybe you've done all these things to subconsciously (sp?) damage your marriage and make your wife want to be the one to end it. A girl I used to date years and years ago who I stay in contact with met me for lunch a couple weeks ago and told me she cheated on her husband and he found out and he is divorcing her. She feels awful and she doesn't know why she cheated, she doesn't like the guy she had the affair with, she's been married for 10 years and didn't have any major issues with her husband except that she just hasn't felt happy in her marriage for years. Her husband found out about the affair because she didn't hide it very well, she said it was almost like she wanted to get caught and now that her husband is filing for divorce she said it feels like such a relief to her. She feels completely awful and thinks she's going to hell for feeling this way and doing what she did. But, she thinks divorce is the best thing for her and the husband but she never would've had the guts to do it herself.

Maybe I'm totally off base with that, and I'm sorry if I am. But I just noticed some similarities between my friend's behavior and yours. Obviously the actions are completely different (she cheated and you mishandled money) but both of you weren't honest and violated the trust of your spouse and both of you know what you did was wrong and you don't know why you did it.

I wish you the best of luck. It goes without saying that everyone here is rooting for you. And like the others said, it's time sack up and put on your big-boy sweatervest and fix your life.

I love you

Spoiler

I've worried that this is part of it, which is one of the reasons I want to talk to someone professionally. I adore my wife and my little girl and get choked up at the thought of them leaving me. But when they go out of town, I'm a completely different person. (They were out of town during Coshole). I go to the bar and go to the driving range and do a lot of things that I never do when they are here. I used to think that it was because every once in a while it's nice to blow off steam and change things up. But then I started thinking maybe I LIKE when they go out of town so I can live the way I want and do what I want. Problem is that after two or three days of it I'm depressing lonely. There are non-financial things I've kept private from her for years - the FFA, friends in town I sometimes meetup with for lunch, etc. - and I know I'm going to have to work through not being like that. Most people in normal marriages no doubt find that that I do that, and I'm not entirely sure where it comes from.

So is there a part of me that does this because I'm trying to ruin my marriage? Probably. I don't want that part in there, but it is and it's a serious problem that I need to get under control because I DO want to stay married and I want my kid to grow up in a house with two parents that love each other.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Blazers have certainly had some rotten luck with draft picks like Brandon Roy and Greg Oden, but....they don't get enough crap for the good players they did draft that they traded for a bucket of piss and used .38 Special 8-Tracks. Zach RandolphJared BaylessJarrett Jack All playing in the playoffs...all drafted by Portland. All traded away for fleas.

I'd say that Gerald Wallace trade (which got them Lillard) made up for all three of those.

DAME!!!

Let's not do this. On par with 'vacay' IMO.

 

[Ignoramus]

Abe - does your wife work at all? Do you at least have a budget together?

She raises our two year old daughter. We have a budget that I have never followed.

Maybe a good step is to look at the budget and show her all of the areas that you didn't follow and concrete actions on what you're going to do to stick to it now (i.e. eat Ramen Noodles, drink less, rent less movies, etc). Make it all about what you're doing better...I wouldn't even suggest what she needs to do. But I echo what PN said above....you need to lay everything out on the table. Trust is the main issue here....not money

She's taken her share of responsibility pertaining to overspending being the reason our savings is gone. She admits she bought things even though she suspected I was hiding our financial status from her. The part where I maxed all of her cards without her knowing is the real problem.

It sounds like you have been the main one responsible for handling (or more accurately, mishandling) the finances. You ####ed it all up but for you guys to get out of the mess I think you need to work together. Not only does this give her a sense of control and some transparency that has been missing, but it will also relieve you of the stress of thinking that it's all up to you to right the ship. If you two sit down every Sunday evening (or whenever) and review the finances and the budget I think it would do the both of you a lot of good.

Agree completely. She has already changed the passwords to all the accounts and "taken over".

(I was thinking about my post and just hoped it did not come off as being mean-sprited -- my intent was some ribbing, not to be mean.)I also hope that by her "taking over" that just means she's maybe taking the lead on finances and not the one solely responsible now. You two really, really need to work together on this. It's not "your mess" that she needs to "clean up" now, it's Your Mess (your family's) -- one of you cannot fix it.I know he gets preachy at times and from a purely financial sense his ideas have some flaws, but from a "financial well-being" perspective I think following Dave Ramsey's approach could be beneficial to you guys.

 

[Phil Elliott]

I got a message today that I needed to call a parent in regards to a kid's grade. Now this kid hasn't done much all year. He'd rather talk to his "girlfiends". In the words of Paulie Walnuts this kid is "half-a-feg". We'll call him Rupert.

The school year ends in just a couple of weeks and Rupert just now realized he can't get another "F" or he doesn't get to participate in a bunch of year-end stuff. So last week he hands me this STACK of papers that he should have turned in sometime in the last freaking 3 months or so. It looked like he kept most of the papers at the bottom of his backpack and/or a hole in a tree somewhere. I gave him partial credit on some and it brought his grade up to something like a 51%.

Anyway I call his mom on my prep period:

Mom: I just wanted to touch base with you [i hate that phrase] about Rupert's grade. He said he turned in all of his late work on Thursday but I see he still has an "F". Is this correct?

Me: I believe it is but let me double-check the grade book. [click-click-click] Yes, Rupert currently has a 51%...

Mom: [cutting me off] How can that be if he turned in all of his late work?

Me: Well, he did turn in most of the papers from the last three chapters but nearly all of them were incomplete. I was actually pretty generous in the amount of credit I gave him.

Mom: What chapters did he turn in?

Me: [looking through the mess of crap the kid gave me] He gave me 4 out of the 6 papers for Chapter 14, 5 of the 6 papers for Chapter 15, and all 4 of the papers for chapter 16. But like he didn't even finish most of the papers.

Mom: What about Chapters 12 or 13?

Me: [looking through another stack of papers that I put aside and labeled 'too late'] Well he did turn in about 3/4 of the work from those chapters but unfortunately those were from last quarter.

Mom: So you're not going to give him credit for those?

Me: Ummm...I really can't Those grades closed back in March. [WTF]

Mom: Well can't you give him credit on THIS quarter for that work?

Me: Yeah...I really can't do that. That work was due 12 weeks ago.

Mom: Is that your policy?

Me: [i actually chuckle a bit] Well I would guess that it is pretty much standard for almost every teacher.

Mom: Well I don't agree with that. I'm going to speak to the 8th Grade Dean about this and probably the principal.

Me: If you feel that strongly about it I guess you should [i really wanted her to do this just so the admins can see how crazy she is].

Then she just hung up on me.

The Dean sent me an email about 25 minutes later saying "Do not adjust Rupert's grade".

Looks like you should have given him a 75 since that was about the percent of work he turned in. Glad to see the admin backing you.

 

[Sweet J]

Good luck, Abe. Rooting for you. I know that marraige is hard, and money stuff is hard. Don't have a solution, just another person in the world who is thinking about you.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Ottawa is the capital of Canada, not cowtown.

 

[Gadzooks]

We had our Annual Company Meeting last night. Most of us drank before during and after the meeting. At one point, some younger guy was talking about his new girlfriend and how he really really likes her. I ask to see a picture and he shows a bunch of us a picture of this girl, decent lookin girl. Most of the people standing there said stuff like "she's cute" or "you guys look good together". I channeled my inner GM and just said "nice skin". I then told a couple female co-workers that they had nice skin. Everyone kinda laughed but with a confused look on their face. Finally someone asked why I kept saying that and I just laughed and said "oh its a joke that one of my friends says all the time" Then a co-worker who I hang out with outside of work and knows most of my friends asks me which friend says that. I paused for a moment then looked at him and said "a guy named Forrest". My puzzled co-worker said "you have a friend named Forrest? Does he live around here?" I said "No you don't know him." Freaking co-worker keeps interogating me about this "Forrest character" and I almost lost it and yelled "HE'S FROM THE INTERNET! OK!! YOU HAPPY NOW?!?" But instead for some strange drunk reason I said "look, I knew him from Boot Camp, I haven't seen him in years, last I heard he has some skin disease and owns a bunch of Best Buy stores in Oregon." And that was enough to end the conversation. Keep in mind, I've never gone to boot camp. Can't wait for someone to ask me about that today.

 

[Disco Stu]

I didn't get my wife a card or a present because she bought herself an ipad mini earlier this week. I got up with the kids and let her sleep in until 9 this morning, then went and got her coffee and then went back again after the screwed up the order which actually took about an hour altogether since Caribou was running a BOGO. Then we went to a park with the kids, then to a bakery and ate sandwiches, then to another park, then to a bookstore, then to the local bar for pulltabs and dinner, then home where I gave the kids a bath and then took them in the basement to play Zelda so the wife could watch a stupid lifetime movie in peace. Put the kids to bed and then drove the 15 minutes each way to Hudson to get more wine for Sarah since Minnesota has stupid laws and we were out of booze.

Sounds like a lot, but then when I got home she thanked me for the day in a very exciting way. It's been a good day. I'm working from home tomorrow so I'm going to wait for her to pass out and then go fall down in the driveway when I try to smoke a cigarette

You're only 15 minutes from Hudson?!? I grew up in New Richmond. We should cornhole sometime.

And by "we" I mean your wife and I.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I didn't get my wife a card or a present because she bought herself an ipad mini earlier this week. I got up with the kids and let her sleep in until 9 this morning, then went and got her coffee and then went back again after the screwed up the order which actually took about an hour altogether since Caribou was running a BOGO. Then we went to a park with the kids, then to a bakery and ate sandwiches, then to another park, then to a bookstore, then to the local bar for pulltabs and dinner, then home where I gave the kids a bath and then took them in the basement to play Zelda so the wife could watch a stupid lifetime movie in peace. Put the kids to bed and then drove the 15 minutes each way to Hudson to get more wine for Sarah since Minnesota has stupid laws and we were out of booze.

Sounds like a lot, but then when I got home she thanked me for the day in a very exciting way. It's been a good day. I'm working from home tomorrow so I'm going to wait for her to pass out and then go fall down in the driveway when I try to smoke a cigarette

You're only 15 minutes from Hudson?!? I grew up in New Richmond. We should cornhole sometime.

And by "we" I mean your wife and I.

Dude. You're married.

 

[phishphan]

I didn't get my wife a card or a present because she bought herself an ipad mini earlier this week. I got up with the kids and let her sleep in until 9 this morning, then went and got her coffee and then went back again after the screwed up the order which actually took about an hour altogether since Caribou was running a BOGO. Then we went to a park with the kids, then to a bakery and ate sandwiches, then to another park, then to a bookstore, then to the local bar for pulltabs and dinner, then home where I gave the kids a bath and then took them in the basement to play Zelda so the wife could watch a stupid lifetime movie in peace. Put the kids to bed and then drove the 15 minutes each way to Hudson to get more wine for Sarah since Minnesota has stupid laws and we were out of booze.

Sounds like a lot, but then when I got home she thanked me for the day in a very exciting way. It's been a good day. I'm working from home tomorrow so I'm going to wait for her to pass out and then go fall down in the driveway when I try to smoke a cigarette

You're only 15 minutes from Hudson?!? I grew up in New Richmond. We should cornhole sometime.

And by "we" I mean your wife and I.

Dude. You're married.

Stu hasn't even made it a week

 

[strykerpks]

Are we curbing our drinking between now and Memorial Day weekend or actual Memorial day? Regardless, Challenge accepted. 24 beers between now and the appointed date.

And I don't have a 100k job. I have a good job at a great company but my base pay is far below that (I'm in sales).

Through Memorial Day. You have a job now. No need to be going in hungover on that Tuesday. I will grant you an extra 6-er if your 24th beer does in fact come on Memorial day afternoon. None of this 12:01am stuff. And you get a shot provided that you do a video and post it here for us.

I know you don't make 100k. I just seem to recall you rejecting an 80k job or some such because it wasn't enough. Maybe I'm misremembering but that's why I said "near 100k".

And I hope you know I wasn't being a #### for the sake of being a ####. I really hope you get through this but the time for hand-holding is over.

Glllll

Back to your regularly scheduled funny people and I'll step back into the shadows

/rant

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

We won both softball games tonight against the 2nd best team in the league.

WAY TO GO, WOZ!

You said this last week.

Yet you're still doing it.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Stryker said exactly what I was thinking (apparently less than average minds think alike)

Odd question for you Abe: do you want to stay married? Reason I ask is because maybe you've done all these things to subconsciously (sp?) damage your marriage and make your wife want to be the one to end it. A girl I used to date years and years ago who I stay in contact with met me for lunch a couple weeks ago and told me she cheated on her husband and he found out and he is divorcing her. She feels awful and she doesn't know why she cheated, she doesn't like the guy she had the affair with, she's been married for 10 years and didn't have any major issues with her husband except that she just hasn't felt happy in her marriage for years. Her husband found out about the affair because she didn't hide it very well, she said it was almost like she wanted to get caught and now that her husband is filing for divorce she said it feels like such a relief to her. She feels completely awful and thinks she's going to hell for feeling this way and doing what she did. But, she thinks divorce is the best thing for her and the husband but she never would've had the guts to do it herself.

Maybe I'm totally off base with that, and I'm sorry if I am. But I just noticed some similarities between my friend's behavior and yours. Obviously the actions are completely different (she cheated and you mishandled money) but both of you weren't honest and violated the trust of your spouse and both of you know what you did was wrong and you don't know why you did it.

I wish you the best of luck. It goes without saying that everyone here is rooting for you. And like the others said, it's time sack up and put on your big-boy sweatervest and fix your life.

I love you

Spoiler

I've worried that this is part of it, which is one of the reasons I want to talk to someone professionally. I adore my wife and my little girl and get choked up at the thought of them leaving me. But when they go out of town, I'm a completely different person. (They were out of town during Coshole). I go to the bar and go to the driving range and do a lot of things that I never do when they are here. I used to think that it was because every once in a while it's nice to blow off steam and change things up. But then I started thinking maybe I LIKE when they go out of town so I can live the way I want and do what I want. Problem is that after two or three days of it I'm depressing lonely. There are non-financial things I've kept private from her for years - the FFA, friends in town I sometimes meetup with for lunch, etc. - and I know I'm going to have to work through not being like that. Most people in normal marriages no doubt find that that I do that, and I'm not entirely sure where it comes from.

So is there a part of me that does this because I'm trying to ruin my marriage? Probably. I don't want that part in there, but it is and it's a serious problem that I need to get under control because I DO want to stay married and I want my kid to grow up in a house with two parents that love each other.

I don't think that's abnormal at all. First, every married guy I know uses the absence of their spouse/children to do things they don't do when the family is around. Why wouldn't you? It's completely healthy, and there is NOTHING wrong with enjoying it. We're responsible adults 99% of the time (well, most of us. Some of us. A few of us. Pickles probably is, anyway). We need escapes where we can find them, and finding them when competing priorities are no longer competing makes the most sense. That you miss them and get lonely after some period of time is also a good sign imo. It's much better than the alternative.

Here's where some people are going to differ. I also don't think it's abnormal or even unhealthy to keep some things to yourself, so long as you're not keeping things from her for the wrong reasons. Are the people you're meeting for lunch women you don't want her to know you're seeing? That might be a problem. My wife knows I play FF. She knows I spend some time online with FF dorks. She doesn't know what the FFA is or the extent to which I'm ingrained in it. God help me if the word werewolf ever found its way to her ears. The woman already knows I'm a gigantic dork. I don't need her getting to the point that she no longer wants me touching her fun parts.

Like I said, I'm sure others will disagree. I don't see a poblem with having an escape that's completely yours.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Bob, I'll quit werewolf if you do. [stryker]

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I tend to post this stuff late, with not much of an audience. Here's another one.

Next Monday, ao begins its transition into a wellness retreat. Call it Paleo, call it ancestral health, call it anything you want. I have aligned with Paul Jaminet to create an environment where the ill can possibly find a path to healthfulness through our direction. It will be a 30 day program where we teach our clients the path to removing toxins from their diet, replacing them with a dietary plan and lifestyle crafted to maximize their body's ability to heal itself.

The entire plan is far more complex than I ca describe here in a short time, but I am truly excited with the possibilities that exist. One of our brethren will be joining the beta program next Monday. I have had a few inquiries from others. including some wishing to join me in my efforts to recreate Ao in this new direction.

This first beta round, we will be attempting to help folks with a variety of maladies: Lupus, Essentntial Tremors, Obesity, High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Alcoholism, Malnourishment, degenerative joints, dementia/Alzhemier's, Psoriasis and more. We do not believe our program (PHD30) will be a panacea for all involved, but we are anxious to find out whom we can benefit the most, with all expected to get better. I have one or two beds open for the 30 day beta at no charge. Contact me if you or someone you know could possibly benefit but not be able to afford it when we go to a pay per month model.I will always have a couple of spaces available on a free or sliding scale to assist those less fortunate, but at some point I need to make this into a self-sustaining venture and with our limited space and extreme personal interaction and planning, its not going to be cheap.

Check out Paul Jaminet's (my partner in this) book at Amazon, The Perfect Health Diet. The whole program is based on that tome.

I love you

cos

Interesting. Do you have any concern about trying to treat too wide of an array of issues?

First off, we are not "treating" as we are not a medical facility.

We believe that many, if not most of the maladies are caused by either toxins or lack of nutrients. Our plan removes most known toxins from your diet and we then have a nutrient dense diet intended to maximize your body's ability to repair itself. This can work a wide array of ailments and disorders. It has seems to be especially effective on nervous and immune system disorders, which is logical, These nervous and immune systems are the first line of reaction and defense against toxins.

Its logical to think that your immune system gets out of whack if it is relentlessly bombarded by toxins. If its always reacting to wheat or or other common foods you ingest on a daily basis, it really doesn't do a very efficient job of warding off other systemic attacks. If you cut out the toxins, the immune system can then more readily do its normal protective function. Eating a lot of nutrient dense food then nourishes the system to operate at its highest level.

It has shown a lot of promise in the treatment of migraines. I sent you a PM a while back mentioning that. We should talk next time you're in town and I'lI bring you a copy of the book. It might help and it almost certainly poses no risk.

I think following a circadian cycle can also really help, as that is how we evolved to rest and regenerate. Blue light after dusk has shown to increase the risk of cancer, diabetes and strokes. Lots of weird new thoughts and theories coming out and being clinically studied. Havard Medical did the blue light studies last year.

How long have you been on this "plan"?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Bob, I'll quit werewolf if you do. [stryker]

I actually don't play much anymore. A couple games a year.

And I can quit whenever I want.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

All that said, you need to quit lying to her, particularly about things that are impactful to her everyday life.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Wait, you worked here. You provided content and made money and had "work" trips and whatnot. How can she not know this place exists?

 

[strykerpks]

Bob, I'll quit werewolf if you do. [stryker]

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Blazers have certainly had some rotten luck with draft picks like Brandon Roy and Greg Oden, but....they don't get enough crap for the good players they did draft that they traded for a bucket of piss and used .38 Special 8-Tracks. Zach RandolphJared BaylessJarrett Jack All playing in the playoffs...all drafted by Portland. All traded away for fleas.

I'd say that Gerald Wallace trade (which got them Lillard) made up for all three of those.

DAME!!!

Let's not do this. On par with 'vacay' IMO.

Daaaaaaaaaayum?

 

[Frostillicus]

I didn't get my wife a card or a present because she bought herself an ipad mini earlier this week. I got up with the kids and let her sleep in until 9 this morning, then went and got her coffee and then went back again after the screwed up the order which actually took about an hour altogether since Caribou was running a BOGO. Then we went to a park with the kids, then to a bakery and ate sandwiches, then to another park, then to a bookstore, then to the local bar for pulltabs and dinner, then home where I gave the kids a bath and then took them in the basement to play Zelda so the wife could watch a stupid lifetime movie in peace. Put the kids to bed and then drove the 15 minutes each way to Hudson to get more wine for Sarah since Minnesota has stupid laws and we were out of booze.

Sounds like a lot, but then when I got home she thanked me for the day in a very exciting way. It's been a good day. I'm working from home tomorrow so I'm going to wait for her to pass out and then go fall down in the driveway when I try to smoke a cigarette

You're only 15 minutes from Hudson?!? I grew up in New Richmond. We should cornhole sometime.

And by "we" I mean your wife and I.

Yes, we live distressingly close to Wisconsin. Helps out when we need booze on Sunday though.

 

[YSR]

I think I'm going to throw up.

One year down!

Two years down!

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

YSR, I'm going to Charleston/Hilton Head/Savannah this weekend for a wedding. Any advice?

 

[phishphan]

I think I'm going to throw up.

One year down!

Two years down!

happy anniversary!

 

[Disco Stu]

I didn't get my wife a card or a present because she bought herself an ipad mini earlier this week. I got up with the kids and let her sleep in until 9 this morning, then went and got her coffee and then went back again after the screwed up the order which actually took about an hour altogether since Caribou was running a BOGO. Then we went to a park with the kids, then to a bakery and ate sandwiches, then to another park, then to a bookstore, then to the local bar for pulltabs and dinner, then home where I gave the kids a bath and then took them in the basement to play Zelda so the wife could watch a stupid lifetime movie in peace. Put the kids to bed and then drove the 15 minutes each way to Hudson to get more wine for Sarah since Minnesota has stupid laws and we were out of booze.

Sounds like a lot, but then when I got home she thanked me for the day in a very exciting way. It's been a good day. I'm working from home tomorrow so I'm going to wait for her to pass out and then go fall down in the driveway when I try to smoke a cigarette

You're only 15 minutes from Hudson?!? I grew up in New Richmond. We should cornhole sometime.

And by "we" I mean your wife and I.

Dude. You're married.

Stu hasn't even made it a week

My link

 

[Frostillicus]

Stryker you won the movie. Send me your address.

 

[phishphan]

I didn't get my wife a card or a present because she bought herself an ipad mini earlier this week. I got up with the kids and let her sleep in until 9 this morning, then went and got her coffee and then went back again after the screwed up the order which actually took about an hour altogether since Caribou was running a BOGO. Then we went to a park with the kids, then to a bakery and ate sandwiches, then to another park, then to a bookstore, then to the local bar for pulltabs and dinner, then home where I gave the kids a bath and then took them in the basement to play Zelda so the wife could watch a stupid lifetime movie in peace. Put the kids to bed and then drove the 15 minutes each way to Hudson to get more wine for Sarah since Minnesota has stupid laws and we were out of booze.

Sounds like a lot, but then when I got home she thanked me for the day in a very exciting way. It's been a good day. I'm working from home tomorrow so I'm going to wait for her to pass out and then go fall down in the driveway when I try to smoke a cigarette

You're only 15 minutes from Hudson?!? I grew up in New Richmond. We should cornhole sometime.

And by "we" I mean your wife and I.

Dude. You're married.

Stu hasn't even made it a week

My link

no way. I'm pretty sure you were serious about that.