GM's thread about nothing (90 Viewers)

[shuke]

Tried my best. Video uploading to YouTube.

Upon further review, I sound like a drunken ####### that is trying to force random phrases into unnatural sentences. :thorned:

Don't be a ####.

 

[shuke]

She has gotten me tapped deep into the local foodie scene, but that may vaporize in a moment and was one of the things she tried to hold over my head tonight.

What means this?

 

[shuke]

http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/8853/3umv.jpg

 

[mr roboto]

She has gotten me tapped deep into the local foodie scene, but that may vaporize in a moment and was one of the things she tried to hold over my head tonight.

What means this?

You'll never eat in this town again!

 

[DocGonzo]

I was at a buddy's house yesterday drinking and throwing horseshoes. His neighbors have a parrot that sits in a window about 20 feet from where I was standing. "Patience" by Guns n Roses came on the radio. I went to toss a shoe and could have sworn the parrot was whistling along with the beginning of the song. Figured it was just the bourbon so I didn't say anything. Then he started doing it again. Just a second or two off, but otherwise right the eff on with the song. I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend standing by that window and whispering swear words.

Parrots are crazy. Mrs TFs friend has one and she knows all sorts of songs. Pretty cool

Update: the parrot refuses to say "hello Jim Tan."

 

[General Malaise]

Lol at the fake vomit. Pulling out all the stops.

I've faked cried - I even tried to fake an orgasm - but I've never fake vomited. Trying to figure out how this would work to my advantage...

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T RECOGNIZE PEOPLE, ZOOKS????@2122

 

[T Bell]

Lol at the fake vomit. Pulling out all the stops.

http://i.imgur.com/nGs9CZw.gif

 

[T Bell]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Gonna be an absolutely crazy night and the bar's AC is not working at full strength. I'm wearing jeans.

Pray for my undercarriage. The chafing is gonna be epic.

Do you even need to wear pants, Homie? You're behind a freaking bar.

I'm tall though.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/8853/3umv.jpg

Beer snob.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Good news: I met a Zoe and made some decent coin and am currently hammered at the bar next door.

Bad news: I was expecting a spectacular night and yet I'm currently hammered at the bar next door reading the GMtAN without a Zoe in sight.

I guess it's all relative, but

Friggin Montauk has been kicking our asses for the last month and I'm getting a little pissed about it.

 

[FDAS]

Montauk is the only place to summer nowadays, imo.

 

[T Bell]

Goodnight all.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Montauk is the only place to summer nowadays, imo.

#### off!!!!

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Indian Lake. Redneck, OH

Geocache location??

just a random check in, though I was nearly raped by a tall blonde chick on the way to the bathroom

 

[Guster]

Indian Lake. Redneck, OH

Geocache location??

just a random check in, though I was nearly raped by a tall blonde chick on the way to the bathroom

Did it have an Adam's apple?

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Indian Lake. Redneck, OH

Geocache location??

just a random check in, though I was nearly raped by a tall blonde chick on the way to the bathroom

Did it have an Adam's apple?

no. Not terribly unattractive, actually.

 

[Guster]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

 

[Ignoramus]

Yard sale update: D2 - Cancelled. Goodwill - Activated.

My neighbor came by and told me that he'd "take all my stuff off my hands if I didn't want to give it to Goodwill."

What a mensch.

 

[Guster]

The runner up for the Wimmenz Wimbledon Championship is rather attractive. The winner, not so much.

rawr

 

[kevzilla]

That's the Ladies Championship, guy.

 

[Guster]

That's the Ladies Championship, guy.

My misstake

 

[Mr.Pack]

Missed the last 3-4 days, been deep in depression.

Recap?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Missed the last 3-4 days, been deep in depression.

Recap?

Engelberg is having some housing issues.

 

[Abraham]

Missed the last 3-4 days, been deep in depression.

Recap?

Engelberg is having some housing issues.

Bank of 'Murica is the worst.

 

[krista4]

Missed the last 3-4 days, been deep in depression.

Recap?

:( So sorry.

Hoping Bob Sacamano will be by to provide the recap.

 

[T Bell]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

Sewer.

And I awoke this morning to sewer water backed up into my tub, as did everyone else on the first floor of my apartment building. :X

 

[Abraham]

Ghostbusters is the call.

 

[Guster]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

Sewer.And I awoke this morning to sewer water backed up into my tub, as did everyone else on the first floor of my apartment building. :X

:X :X :X

Sounds like there might be a crushed pipe out from the building to the main sewer line. So gross

 

[T Bell]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

Sewer.And I awoke this morning to sewer water backed up into my tub, as did everyone else on the first floor of my apartment building. :X

:X :X :X

Sounds like there might be a crushed pipe out from the building to the main sewer line. So gross

There's been construction in the building next door which has me wondering.

And of course I have my son, and I can only put off my morning deuce for so long.

 

[T Bell]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

Sewer.And I awoke this morning to sewer water backed up into my tub, as did everyone else on the first floor of my apartment building. :X

:X :X :X Sounds like there might be a crushed pipe out from the building to the main sewer line. So gross

There's been construction in the building next door which has me wondering. And of course I have my son, and I can only put off my morning deuce for so long.

Bag it.

I already had the boy piss in the big popcorn bowl which I then dumped into the bushes. Looks like we're getting a late breakfast out somewhere.

 

[General Malaise]

Sorry Engle. WIsh I could give you an awkward manhug and buy you a beer.

 

[General Malaise]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

Sewer.

And I awoke this morning to sewer water backed up into my tub, as did everyone else on the first floor of my apartment building. :X

Oh jesus god christ ahg ack arf barf. You gotta move. Today.

 

[General Malaise]

ESPN is showing the hot dog eating contest. I decided to try it out. Might be the dumbest thing I've ever attempted to watch in my entire life and I gave the XFL an honest shot. How in the world is this a popular event? It took 30 minutes to get to the introductions of the participants. I'm pot committed at this point. Might as well ride it out.

DO NOT TELL ME WHO WINS@!!!!11122

 

[General Malaise]

Wait, they RANK these eaters?

 

[General Malaise]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

Sewer.And I awoke this morning to sewer water backed up into my tub, as did everyone else on the first floor of my apartment building. :X

:X :X :X Sounds like there might be a crushed pipe out from the building to the main sewer line. So gross

There's been construction in the building next door which has me wondering. And of course I have my son, and I can only put off my morning deuce for so long.

Bag it.

I already had the boy piss in the big popcorn bowl which I then dumped into the bushes. Looks like we're getting a late breakfast out somewhere.

Note to GMTAN: If Redmond ever offers you popcorn, politely decline.

 

[General Malaise]

Also, do we want to try one more time to have a GMTAN Fantasy Football League? We can just have the draft in here. 14 teams, $25 entry, I'll clone it like another league I run, which is a bit more wide open and fun than your grandfather's fantasy football league. I should have some time this summer to organize/commish this.

 

[Abraham]

Reads like a free house to me!

 

[General Malaise]

Ladie's Wimbleton Champ has an IQ higher than Stephen Hawking and apparently one of the top IQs in the history of ladykind. Impressive.

 

[General Malaise]

Oh jesus, they dip these things in water? :X :X :X

 

[General Malaise]

The fans are chanting "USA USA"....

 

[Homer J Simpson]

In for the ffl.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

why do we care so much about egypt again?

OZ, original zombies

This yard sale business is for the birds. Some old hag breaking my balls over a $5 purse and a brand new basketball for $3. I'd rather give the #### away than give it to you for a buck you ####.

I would be charged with assualt, at a minimum, if I attempted this.

You folks never cease to amaze me with your ability to make a dude feel better through a computer monitor. Much thanks and love in return.

And if you haven't opened the "36 Cheap American Beer Rankings" thread, I found the writer's placement and commentary on Keystone to be quite comical. Not sure who this writer is, but I like his style. To-wit:

36. Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on the least reliable of trains. And then there is Keystone, which first appeared to the world in 1989, in Chico, Calif., home of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Keystone separates itself from the rest of the crap pack by augmenting the typical stale/sour flavor profile with notes of brown bananas and green armpits. Keystone is worse than Heineken and murder.

You folks never cease to amaze me with your ability to make a dude feel better through a computer monitor. Much thanks and love in return.

And if you haven't opened the "36 Cheap American Beer Rankings" thread, I found the writer's placement and commentary on Keystone to be quite comical. Not sure who this writer is, but I like his style. To-wit:

36. Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on

That sounds just like Mr. krista's writing style.Exciting news in the krista household: after a bit of wrangling, Mr. krista has accepted a job as Executive Chef at the only upscale restaurant in Granada, Nicaragua. It's been written up in the NY Times and the Delta Sky magazine, and the place is impeccable in terms of style and service, but we've always thought the food was just OK. This will be a chance to take it to a new level.

Awesome!

Yard sale update: sale of the day was a kid that bought my old whoopie cushion for $0.50. He and I giggled for five minutes while his mom browsed to a fart soundtrack.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I've mentioned here before I am doing contract work for my old company for 12 weeks (four weeks to go), but that while they are paying me for a minimum of 25 hours per week, they haven't been sending me enough work to get close to that in any week.

Last week, based on the amount of work I actually did and what they paid, I calculated that if I were working a 50-hour week I'd be making $8.4 million a year. This week they've sent me exactly zero hours of work to do, so I guess I'm making the equivalent of infinity dollars per year.

My link

Gonna be an absolutely crazy night and the bar's AC is not working at full strength. I'm wearing jeans.

Pray for my undercarriage. The chafing is gonna be epic.

Update?

Missed the last 3-4 days, been deep in depression.

Recap?

:( So sorry.

Hoping Bob Sacamano will be by to provide the recap.

Sorry to hear GB. Hang in there man. :(

Also, do we want to try one more time to have a GMTAN Fantasy Football League? We can just have the draft in here. 14 teams, $25 entry, I'll clone it like another league I run, which is a bit more wide open and fun than your grandfather's fantasy football league. I should have some time this summer to organize/commish this.

I suck at everything so I'm in.

/slipnippling

 

[T Bell]

Does it mean anything if your toilet is blowing bubbles? Mine just did it for a good 60 seconds. I'm not talking little aquarium bubbles - I'm talking Jabba the Hutt letting go in the bathtub after eating noting but broccoli for a week.

Sewer or septic?

Sewer.And I awoke this morning to sewer water backed up into my tub, as did everyone else on the first floor of my apartment building. :X

:X :X :X Sounds like there might be a crushed pipe out from the building to the main sewer line. So gross

There's been construction in the building next door which has me wondering. And of course I have my son, and I can only put off my morning deuce for so long.

Bag it.

I already had the boy piss in the big popcorn bowl which I then dumped into the bushes. Looks like we're getting a late breakfast out somewhere.

Note to GMTAN: If Redmond ever offers you popcorn, politely decline.

 

[T Bell]

Good news: I met a Zoe and made some decent coin and am currently hammered at the bar next door.

Bad news: I was expecting a spectacular night and yet I'm currently hammered at the bar next door reading the GMtAN without a Zoe in sight.

I guess it's all relative, but

Friggin Montauk has been kicking our asses for the last month and I'm getting a little pissed about it.

This is how I imagine you at the end of your work day.

 

[T Bell]

Ladie's Wimbleton Champ has an IQ higher than Stephen Hawking and apparently one of the top IQs in the history of ladykind. Impressive.

And yet she runs around swatting fuzzy yellow balls with an over-tightened butterfly net. Man, that career counselor sucks!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Home early from KC, I'll get to that in a minute.
For 'Mericas birthday, this is what we had, and I didn't start drinking until everybody else was good and buzzed so I actually ate. Of course I think every person at the party asked why I wasn't drinking.

brisket sandwiches

2 bacon explosions

grilled shrimp, scallops and crab cream cheese wrapped in bacon

jalapeno poppers stuffed with little sausages and chedder cheese of course wrapped in bacon

9 racks of ribs

I know there was more but I was kind drunk by the time the ribs got done. My God was it good.

Then that night they had fireworks at night. Good night they had fireworks. Half the houses in the neighborhood had to be lighting them off. It sounded like a warzone. I sat and bull####ed/got wasted with this guy since his daughter took a shine to Dylan. I'm telling you this kid has the kavorka. It was about the cutest damn thing. They sat on the driveway native American style, holding hands, watching the show. My smile was bigger than my sons. I was pretty proud.

Then there this morning my cousin is knocking on my hotel room door...at 7 am. WTF. It seems sombody had issues with cars in the parking lot and decided to bust the driver side window out of my car, my cousins car and 3 others. ####### ##########s didn't even steal anything and my gold clubs were in there. I'm sure there is some crime scene investigation going on, reviewing tapes, dusting for prints etc.

 

[T Bell]

Reads like a free house to me!

Ha, not going that far, but it seems to me like they are calling off the dogs for a little bit anyway. Give me time to sell.

I'm just not sure....... Would be a big peace of mind of it was and I would actually be able to enjoy a little bit of whats left of the weekend. Because this has been absolutely the worst 4th of July ever,.

Sorry for what you're going through, man. It'll work out I'm sure. Just weather the storm.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah, that's second time by car has been broken into when were in KC. I think the mayor owes me a formal apology. And the 1982 World Series trophy.