Abraham
Footballguy
Non-starter. I'm John as is my uncle, and his Dad, and his Dad, and his Dad. ANd besides, I've spent my whole life explaining why I go by my middle name instead of John.
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GM's thread about nothing (23 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
T Bell
Footballguy
And so, as you can see, the cycle of abuse and neglect continues down through the generations...
BigJohn
Footballguy
John here. Never been called Jack once. My brothers name is Charles and he's been called Chuck his whole life.
Abe>I vote for John Charles
UOFI_316
Footballguy
Catching up on 15 pages.
TRE, Abe - Congrats on letting the mailman have fun with your wives. Whatever you do, don't get drunk and breastfeed them.
Garage sales - we drop all our crap off at my moms and she has one, we get back an envelope full of money. This year my sister kicked some lady out who was trying to steal stuff. She put a .25 sticker on a $3 purse and then tried to haggle.
Ice - Have several milk jugs full of ice in the freezer, but will also prebag before parties. But why the hell do you need to buy an actual ice bag for this, can't you just use plastic grocery bags??
Family drama - We had the baptism for our daughter yesterday. My wife is one of 4 girls, and I have 2 siblings plus a cousin who lived with us for 6 years (so 6 obvious choices for godparents). We have 3 kids, 3 does not equal 6. My wife picked one of her sisters (only 1 year seperate them, she was her maid of honor) for our first, and my sister/BIL were godparents for our second. Wife chose sister #2 for this one. Sister #1 shows up to the service after they had already done the actual baptism (not unusual for her to be waaaay late). Then afterwards when we are taking pictures she is sitting by herself crying, saying she doesn't need to be in the pictures, isn't part of the family..... She was all upset that she wasn't picked to be the godparents, even though she is divorced (who would be the godfather then?) isn't that into the lives of our kids other than to drop off crap she doesn't want, never called to see how my wife was doing when she was in the hospital, and when she did want to come visit her she made a big deal that they weren't allowing kids into the hospital (was at the height of the flu outbreak). My wife had to lie and tell her it was a hard choice to make, she didn't know how to pick one without hurting the other ones feelings..... This is also the sister whose son was the pinata smasher, yesterday he ran around playing with toys made for 1-2 year olds.
TRE, Abe - Congrats on letting the mailman have fun with your wives. Whatever you do, don't get drunk and breastfeed them.
Garage sales - we drop all our crap off at my moms and she has one, we get back an envelope full of money. This year my sister kicked some lady out who was trying to steal stuff. She put a .25 sticker on a $3 purse and then tried to haggle.
Ice - Have several milk jugs full of ice in the freezer, but will also prebag before parties. But why the hell do you need to buy an actual ice bag for this, can't you just use plastic grocery bags??
Family drama - We had the baptism for our daughter yesterday. My wife is one of 4 girls, and I have 2 siblings plus a cousin who lived with us for 6 years (so 6 obvious choices for godparents). We have 3 kids, 3 does not equal 6. My wife picked one of her sisters (only 1 year seperate them, she was her maid of honor) for our first, and my sister/BIL were godparents for our second. Wife chose sister #2 for this one. Sister #1 shows up to the service after they had already done the actual baptism (not unusual for her to be waaaay late). Then afterwards when we are taking pictures she is sitting by herself crying, saying she doesn't need to be in the pictures, isn't part of the family..... She was all upset that she wasn't picked to be the godparents, even though she is divorced (who would be the godfather then?) isn't that into the lives of our kids other than to drop off crap she doesn't want, never called to see how my wife was doing when she was in the hospital, and when she did want to come visit her she made a big deal that they weren't allowing kids into the hospital (was at the height of the flu outbreak). My wife had to lie and tell her it was a hard choice to make, she didn't know how to pick one without hurting the other ones feelings..... This is also the sister whose son was the pinata smasher, yesterday he ran around playing with toys made for 1-2 year olds.
Drifter
Footballguy
Named our daughter Charlie Jane largely because of the above pain with John/Jack. Having lived it, I didn't want to subject her to going by something other than her name
Drifter
Footballguy
I actually think both maladies might be same cause - his grip is too open. Turn your hands more counter clockwise on the safet.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
RWS is in Thailand. Or maybe he's done in Thailand and is now in Australia. One of the two. Can't recall the timeline. Pretty sure Foos knows.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Starting to understand how fantasy football can be tedious to a man who bargain shops bags for ice storage.
Abe naming a child Cash is like me naming a child Pigment.
Tre, wife will be in your neck of the woods July 15 through July 22. A full week. She's pretty depressed about being apart from Hazel for that long, though I think most of that is worry that Hazel will be in my care for that long. She said most of the people on her 'team' are stuffy non drinkers so she's looking forward to this about as much as I would a week long trip to a tanning bed.
Hey, two pale skin jokes in one post!
Drifter
Footballguy
My Mom just told me that one time in elementary school, the school called her and asked if she was John's mom. She responded no and then realized that they were talking about me.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
It wasn't so bad. I mean, if I weren't so accustomed to shaking hands as a greeting, it might have been less alarming.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Oh yeah? How long did it take the guy to cum? Heh-heh. Did you hear what I said, T? I asked him "How long did it take the guy to cum?" Heh-heh.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
tdoss notes for the Independence Weekend Challenged
-There seems to be a shortage of ice in the US. Which is weird, because I live in a ####ing desert, and ice seems to be in every Target, Rite Aid, and freezer door I encounter
-GM's mom disowned him because he's the child who doesn't date drug dealers and she apparently needs a fix to handle her grandchildren
-Abe either has proof that his wife is still willing to have sex with him or he's too dumb to understand where babies come from
-Tre also excels at unprotected sex with the wimmens
-Guster dumped a professional figure skater because she didn't know how to play keno, and he called her a sow cow on the way out the door.
-krista's retirement is apparently going to be funded by selling mr. krista to a brazilian kitchen. (Do they wax all their meat before they present it for your consumption?)
-Keystone is the Aaron Hernandez of beers
-Some people are opting to donate #### instead of yard saling it because they've apparently never thought to write the things they sell at yard sales into the lines of the blank receipts they get from Goodwill. Not that I'd do that. I'm just saying some people could. Goodwill is the devil.
-I quit knowing who Bad News Bears aliai belonged to after that racist kid got banned a bunch of times, but somebody who uses one of them is no longer being foreclosed upon
-Someone cowardly broke SLB's car window and used the proceeds to go to the Gold Club in Kansas City with Patrick Ewing. The lead suspect is the father of the girl Dylan is probably porking
-FDAS and Frosti's daughter are both too dumb to keep from touching metal that's actively emitting sparks
-Tiger Fan bought 100 bags of ice from a Nigerian prince. 'Cause who knows more about producing quality ice than Nigeria?
-Guster has (Greek?) friends who pray to the god of car racing
-I saw Despicable Me 2 this weekend, and little yellow guys who say, "bottom" and "poop" in funny voices still make me laugh. So dumb, but I can't help it.
-Apparently people are willing to pay good money for pre-worn coats and hats. The head warmth will cost you, but the lice are free.
-Thoprawishes to Tecumseh for losing his dog.
-Ignoramus went to fart and #### in his pants
-Colin is managing his baby name list worse than he managed his finances
-SLB lost his wedding ring
-Zooks got a visit from Aunt Flo while he was in the middle of pleasuring himself to the memory of molesting a bear
-IB went to Notre Dame, yet he is not a practicing Catholic. UOFI_316 went to some school in Illinois and apparently is.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
-I apparently use the word apparently too much.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
-Colin is managing his baby name list worse than he managed his finances
Leeroy Jenkins
Footballguy
Hey, I thought he bought some type of pre-bagged ice delivery. 
I don't get the hype about just buying bags.
I don't get the hype about just buying bags.
T Bell
Footballguy
Seems like a good opportunity for troof - "If you want to be considered for family things, you have to be more involved."
UOFI_316
Footballguy
The sister is all talk, but doesn't back it up. All 4 sisters have issues with there mom (there was some abuse growing up, mom blames it all on dad, mom is probably bi-polar but won't go to doctor...) My wife and the "good" sisters have all severely reduced the contact with mom, my wife sent her a letter telling her she can't just show up unannounced. Sister #1 will agree with all these things, and then she goes out of town and has mom watch her kids for her.Seems like a good opportunity for troof - "If you want to be considered for family things, you have to be more involved."
Almost, grew up catholic because that is what my mom was. Stopped going when it was my choice. Wife is Lutheran, I think I have gone to 5 services that weren't Christmas/Easter or someones baptism. For the last 5 years at least one of our girls had nap times during church. I think I am going to have to start going again at some point when the girls are older.
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
I drink a lot and feel guilty about everything. I think that at least partially qualifies me for 'practicing Catholic'
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Seems like a good opportunity to become an atheist. I'm just saying.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
She's a terrible competitor on the Road Rules/Real World Challenges though, and crazy too.
heckmanm
Footballguy
Idiot Boxer
Footballguy
T Bell
Footballguy
No, but you have to pour out a 40 every so often for the homies no longer wit us.
You just trade one set of rituals for another it seems.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Don't give in. We haven't baptized my kids despite some familial pressure and at this point everybody is ok with it.
Or they just don't bring it up and then talk about us when we're not around.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Or just lie and tell everyone you had your kid baptised on the internet by the Universal Life Church.
Last edited by a moderator:
T Bell
Footballguy
My family uses these things as an excuse to have a party and drink beer though. I'm so conflicted, but leaning towards getting them baptized.
Or just lie and tell everyone you had your kid baptised on the internet by the Universal Life Church.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
That's pretty weird if you think about it.My family uses these things as an excuse to have a party and drink beer though. I'm so conflicted, but leaning towards getting them baptized.
Or just lie and tell everyone you had your kid baptised on the internet by the Universal Life Church.
not gonna really think about it though.That's pretty weird if you think about it.My family uses these things as an excuse to have a party and drink beer though. I'm so conflicted, but leaning towards getting them baptized.
Or just lie and tell everyone you had your kid baptised on the internet by the Universal Life Church.
UOFI_316
Footballguy
Do you read some bible verse and then give the kid a swirly??
Or just lie and tell everyone you had your kid baptised on the internet by the Universal Life Church.
UOFI_316
Footballguy
strykerpks
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
You guys can bring Frosty too, assuming he's not tied up with softball, meat raffles and bad movies. Also, bring wives. Or girlfriends. Or both if you're feeling saucy.
T Bell
Footballguy
Not really. Baptism involves immersion in liquid. Think of it as a form of spiritual pickling.That's pretty weird if you think about it.My family uses these things as an excuse to have a party and drink beer though. I'm so conflicted, but leaning towards getting them baptized.
Or just lie and tell everyone you had your kid baptised on the internet by the Universal Life Church.
Thorn
Footballguy
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
No offense, but I'm surprised you had the nerve to talk to your wife like that.It was really more of a "I am getting older and want another kid and you have been mostly worthless for a while so maybe you can help me with this ONE thing. Now, take off your clothes and get to work..."Congrats Colin and Tre!
GBCD, seriously impressed you sexed your hot wife with all you were going through. Well done.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
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