GM's thread about nothing (20 Viewers)

[krista4]

If and when we have a second kid, my son suggested we name him or her Thomas Tank Monster Computer Wegner.

MOP's "Did we start forgetting 9/11?" thread.

BobbyLayne's posts in there are really amazing, btw. Read it for those, not the iFights.

Struggling to get through the first page of "here's what I was doing on 9/11" stuff.

I avoided that thread for that reason. I'm with Krista - I don't understand the tendency of people to say what they were doing when special event X happened (although I will tell you I was drinking a Margarita wine cooler when I heard Kurt Cobain was dead). It seems that people forget a very simple truth about 9/11: We were all doing something when we heard/saw what was going on. I've yet to see someone say, "you know, I got so drunk on Monday 9/10/01 that I slept for three days and have no recollection of anything about 9/11. I wasn't doing #### that day."

And a separate for the margarita wine cooler admission.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

I kinda like Hattie, Abe. It's different but traditional, too.

Hattie just sounds like "hatty" in my brain. As in "related to hats".

"That girl sure likes hats. I don't think I've ever met a more hatty girl."

For me, it reminds me of a lady who helped raise me (not her fault at the result): her name was Mattie. How this came from Marian, I don't know, but there it is.

 

[krista4]

On the bright side, I really can't imagine a stripper being named Hattie.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

On the bright side, I really can't imagine a stripper being named Hattie.

Pretty sure they all use fake names.

 

[krista4]

On the bright side, I really can't imagine a stripper being named Hattie.

Pretty sure they all use fake names.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

On the bright side, I really can't imagine a stripper being named Hattie.

Pretty sure they all use fake names.

And give HJs when turning Johns.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

On the bright side, I really can't imagine a stripper being named Hattie.

You're a woman so I'll give you a hint:

95% of strippers don't use their real names.

"Gentlemen...welcome to the main stage....Barbara!" [openingrifftogirlsgirlsgirls]

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Last night I fell asleep quite quickly but it was typical I'm kind of sleeping, I'm kind of not. Mrs. SLB puts her arm around me and I say "oh you scared me, I thought you were my wife for a minute". I said it, no doubt about it. I remember saying it but zero idea why. She then says last week I said something about cheating on her in my sleep.

So now she thinks I have a girlfriend or something. The fact that I'm completely, totally and unequivocally miserable right now with life should be hint enough that I'm not having an affair.

FML

Huh?

I've been talking in my sleep (I'm thinking this happens when you don't sleep worth a ####) about cheating on my wife. Mrs. SLB has heard me. She thinks I'm having an affair.

Oof.

Had my follow up with the doctor after the shaft-wart removal a couple weeks ago. All is good. He felt the need to remind me about the "dangers" of random sexual encounters. Which made me wonder what or who was the cause of my affliction. I had been seeing my buddy's sister for a few months but she doesn't seem like the type that would've passed this on to me. I hadn't slept with the 22 year old in almost a year, and I don't think it would be her. There was a girl around Xmas time who was home visiting her family and we hooked up but I don't think it could be her. The only other option is the non-skinny midget-ish co-worker that had drunk sex with me on MLK day, but I'm not sure she would've passed it to me. I sat there in deep thought as the Doc was blabbering on about being "careful" and then it hit me and I yelled out "HOLY ####". I suddenly remembered a really drunken stupid night and vaguely remembered posting about it here:

Not sure how thus happened, but left the bar with with a stripper who has 5 kids and we ended up in her garage. Half way thru banging, i realize I'm banging a stripper mother of 5 in a garage. I couldn't finish. She asked what was wrung and i said "i thought i was drunk enough, but i guess I'm not". She said "ok, wanna get another drink and come back?"I left and came home. I feel like i should burn my penis off.

No need. That will probably happen on its own.

I should've known I'd never be able to forget her.

Uni, you're on the clock.

That's somebody's fetus, guy.

But yeah, Texas executes the mentally challenged and the governor is literally Rick Perry. Let's not look to them to be a leading light for much of anything.

F'n Truck

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Damn...beat me by a minute.

 

[krista4]

On the bright side, I really can't imagine a stripper being named Hattie.

Pretty sure they all use fake names.

And give HJs when turning Johns.

Now this is just mean.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Pruned I guess.

lots of dummies in there don't understand that I'm going to clean that stuff up once I see it. not sure why everybody had to quote truck's post and make the job more difficult.

So, since posts I like are pruned, do I get those "likes" back to distribute to other posts?

You're a like whore.

You sound a like my wife.

I put up with this everyday.

And before you bring it up...doesn't matter if it is about a cat. It still sucks.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I find it hard to believe K4 has never been in a gentleperson's club.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

that stripper in Vegas wasn't really named Cialis?

 

[krista4]

I find it hard to believe K4 has never been in a gentleperson's club.

Actually have not. I'm not sure why, but it's just never happened.

 

[Abraham]

In my early 20's I had a set of bar-friends that included a fair number of dancers. One was an African-American girl named Latoya who was from Jasper, TX which is about as East Texas as East Texas gets. She was a theater major at UTexas and worked at XTC which was a fully nude place. Her shtick was that her name was Kristen and she was from London and, presumably due to her acting chops, she had the accent down cold and insisted on drinking Guiness and Heiniken while working. She had LOTS of regulars that came to visit her and bought it hook line and sinker that she was an English broad and not a girl from East Texas named Latoya.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I find it hard to believe K4 has never been in a gentleperson's club.

Actually have not. I'm not sure why, but it's just never happened.

Now, I know this is a long shot, but did you ever eat chop suey?

 

[DocGonzo]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

 

[Thorn]

I kinda like Hattie, Abe. It's different but traditional, too.

Hattie just sounds like "hatty" in my brain. As in "related to hats".

"That girl sure likes hats. I don't think I've ever met a more hatty girl."

I think that's on you.

 

[General Malaise]

hypothetically, how much trouble would I get in if I wrote 90 checks for $1 to pay for my parking ticket?

 

[General Malaise]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

I kinda like Hattie, Abe. It's different but traditional, too.

Hattie just sounds like "hatty" in my brain. As in "related to hats".

"That girl sure likes hats. I don't think I've ever met a more hatty girl."

I think that's on you.

How you be, my initial-coshole-meet?

(then a giant got out of the van)

 

[kevzilla]

It is next to impossible to talk in your sleep with a CPAP mask ramming air up your nose. Just throwing that out there.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

Yep, though Bob gets better-looking every dream I have. There's just something about a head made out of a ###### (band name!) that touches the soul.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

Right. This is the perfect time for SLB to be entertaining "unknown" women.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I find it hard to believe K4 has never been in a gentleperson's club.

Actually have not. I'm not sure why, but it's just never happened.

We should go together. I have no interest in having them touch me either.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

In my early 20's I had a set of bar-friends that included a fair number of dancers. One was an African-American girl named Latoya who was from Jasper, TX which is about as East Texas as East Texas gets. She was a theater major at UTexas and worked at XTC which was a fully nude place. Her shtick was that her name was Kristen and she was from London and, presumably due to her acting chops, she had the accent down cold and insisted on drinking Guiness and Heiniken while working. She had LOTS of regulars that came to visit her and bought it hook line and sinker that she was an English broad and not a girl from East Texas named Latoya.

Dear God

 

[Jaysus]

Latoya is a great stripper name.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I kinda like Hattie, Abe. It's different but traditional, too.

Hattie just sounds like "hatty" in my brain. As in "related to hats".

"That girl sure likes hats. I don't think I've ever met a more hatty girl."

I think that's on you.

But you'll always think of what I posted when you hear the name "Hattie" so I win.

 

[DocGonzo]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

You're making me blush, GB. Or I'm insulted. I can't tell which.

Hope all is well in the great northwest. My parents flew out to Seattle yesterday and plan on making stops up and down the coast. They didn't buy return flight tickets. I think they're trying to tell us something. Anyway, next time we get out that way you're gonna have to take us to that strip club. My GF is taking a pole exercise class these days so maybe we'll get in free.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

In looking at the live music listings for tonight in Chicago, I saw that Salt N Pepa are performing at Joe's Sports Bar.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

On the good news front...

It's pretty much confirmed that we will not have standardized state testing at the end of the year since everybody is busy dry-humping Common Core.

What does that mean to your humble narrator? I don't have to cover everything in the freaking text. I can go back to what it was like before there was a History portion on the state test.

If I want to skim over the American System or the Nullification Crisis in favor of spending more time on something I think is more interesting/relevant I can.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

In looking at the live music listings for tonight in Chicago, I saw that Salt N Pepa are performing at Joe's Sports Bar.

See if you can get a pic with Spinderella.

 

[DocGonzo]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

Right. This is the perfect time for SLB to be entertaining "unknown" women.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

On the good news front...

It's pretty much confirmed that we will not have standardized state testing at the end of the year since everybody is busy dry-humping Common Core.

What does that mean to your humble narrator? I don't have to cover everything in the freaking text. I can go back to what it was like before there was a History portion on the state test.

If I want to skim over the American System or the Nullification Crisis in favor of spending more time on something I think is more interesting/relevant I can.

Explain this to me like I smoked dope through HS and went to college for one day.

So, you don't have to "teach the test" anymore?

 

[General Malaise]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

Right. This is the perfect time for SLB to be entertaining "unknown" women.

Whoops, hadn't read that far back yet.

 

[General Malaise]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

You're making me blush, GB. Or I'm insulted. I can't tell which.

Hope all is well in the great northwest. My parents flew out to Seattle yesterday and plan on making stops up and down the coast. They didn't buy return flight tickets. I think they're trying to tell us something. Anyway, next time we get out that way you're gonna have to take us to that strip club. My GF is taking a pole exercise class these days so maybe we'll get in free.

As long as we go at 3pm, we can pretty much get in free anywhere. We could also call up Uni's fiance Sin and see if she can get us in gratis.

Do you want me to meet up with your parents when they are down here? :JudgeRinehold:

 

[DocGonzo]

Man, it sure doesn't take long to get 30+ pages behind in this thread...

Hey SLB:

Sounds like you're having a tough time lately so I'd like to buy you a beer. My girlfriend and I are going to be in St. Louis from 9/19 - 9/23 visiting my best friend and his wife. I'm not sure exactly where they live anymore, but I don't think it's too far from whatever the big hospital is downtown as that's where his wife works. Also, I'm sure over the course of the weekend we'll be all over the place.

GM can vouch that we're mostly respectable people. He definitely did not end up in a 55-gallon drum when we met for drinks out in Portland. I promise we won't poison and skin you. This meetup would probably be a little easier, too, considering my girlfriend's entire family won't be with us this time.

Anyway, if you'd like to grab a beer with us at some point your first one is on me. Looking forward to getting back to your fine city. I visited once when my buddy first moved there and we had a blast. I fuzzily remember spending a month in a vodka bar called, I think, Sub Zero, one night.

Yup, great dude, awesome lady friend. Totally out-kicked his coverage.

You're making me blush, GB. Or I'm insulted. I can't tell which.

Hope all is well in the great northwest. My parents flew out to Seattle yesterday and plan on making stops up and down the coast. They didn't buy return flight tickets. I think they're trying to tell us something. Anyway, next time we get out that way you're gonna have to take us to that strip club. My GF is taking a pole exercise class these days so maybe we'll get in free.

As long as we go at 3pm, we can pretty much get in free anywhere. We could also call up Uni's fiance Sin and see if she can get us in gratis.

Do you want me to meet up with your parents when they are down here? :JudgeRinehold:

Man, you really will drink with anybody.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

On the good news front...

It's pretty much confirmed that we will not have standardized state testing at the end of the year since everybody is busy dry-humping Common Core.

What does that mean to your humble narrator? I don't have to cover everything in the freaking text. I can go back to what it was like before there was a History portion on the state test.

If I want to skim over the American System or the Nullification Crisis in favor of spending more time on something I think is more interesting/relevant I can.

Explain this to me like I smoked dope through HS and went to college for one day.

So, you don't have to "teach the test" anymore?

Yes. Even though we were never supposed to "teach to the test". This is what it sounds like coming from a higher-up

"Tests are just one yardstick."

"I'd really like to see our numbers go up."

"Don't teach to the test. Your lessons should incorporate all of the standards anyway."

"Make sure you cover Reconstruction. There seem to be a lot of questions on that last year."

"Standardized tests are just a tiny window into one day of one week of one school year."

"I bet we can improve by 4-6% this year!"

 

[Tecumseh]

I find it hard to believe K4 has never been in a gentleperson's club.

Actually have not. I'm not sure why, but it's just never happened.

Welcome to Atlanta, strip joint capital of the world.

 

[General Malaise]

Abe, I like the name Hattie. It's unique without being weird. And as a man who has perhaps the most uncommon and weirdest sounding middle name in the history of the world, she'll live no matter what you go with. My middle name gets used less than a Sybian Machine in an Amish barn.

Plus, you can always correct people when they pronounce John like it rhymes with Dawn and tell them it's got a French pronunciation, like the bald guy from Star Wars, Jean-Luc.

 

[Abraham]

On the good news front...

It's pretty much confirmed that we will not have standardized state testing at the end of the year since everybody is busy dry-humping Common Core.

What does that mean to your humble narrator? I don't have to cover everything in the freaking text. I can go back to what it was like before there was a History portion on the state test.

If I want to skim over the American System or the Nullification Crisis in favor of spending more time on something I think is more interesting/relevant I can.

Explain this to me like I smoked dope through HS and went to college for one day.

So, you don't have to "teach the test" anymore?

Yes. Even though we were never supposed to "teach to the test". This is what it sounds like coming from a higher-up

"Tests are just one yardstick."

"I'd really like to see our numbers go up."

"Don't teach to the test. Your lessons should incorporate all of the standards anyway."

"Make sure you cover Reconstruction. There seem to be a lot of questions on that last year."

"Standardized tests are just a tiny window into one day of one week of one school year."

"I bet we can improve by 4-6% this year!"

Serious question: The whole "teach to the test" thing created a lot of strong opinions, mostly against it. My parents are both teachers and I gather that their interest has always been - in order - (1) fostering a love of learning (2) taking what is learned and using it in exponential ways i.e. 'learning to solve problems' and (3) imparting specific knowledge on the student. Seems reasonable. Why not just make the test more of a reflection of 2 instead of 3?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

On the good news front...

It's pretty much confirmed that we will not have standardized state testing at the end of the year since everybody is busy dry-humping Common Core.

What does that mean to your humble narrator? I don't have to cover everything in the freaking text. I can go back to what it was like before there was a History portion on the state test.

If I want to skim over the American System or the Nullification Crisis in favor of spending more time on something I think is more interesting/relevant I can.

Explain this to me like I smoked dope through HS and went to college for one day.

So, you don't have to "teach the test" anymore?

Yes. Even though we were never supposed to "teach to the test". This is what it sounds like coming from a higher-up

"Tests are just one yardstick."

"I'd really like to see our numbers go up."

"Don't teach to the test. Your lessons should incorporate all of the standards anyway."

"Make sure you cover Reconstruction. There seem to be a lot of questions on that last year."

"Standardized tests are just a tiny window into one day of one week of one school year."

"I bet we can improve by 4-6% this year!"

Jesus. That's sad. My grandmother, who was the coolest lady ever born and taught English for 40 years - how cool? a friend of mine had her in September, 1969, and told me she spent one class talking about Woodstock, the bands, and what the counterculture was about; not whatever horrors others born in 1915 thought they saw - is probably glad she's teaching Jimi's kids now.

 

[kevzilla]

In my early 20's I had a set of bar-friends that included a fair number of dancers. One was an African-American girl named Latoya who was from Jasper, TX which is about as East Texas as East Texas gets. She was a theater major at UTexas and worked at XTC which was a fully nude place. Her shtick was that her name was Kristen and she was from London and, presumably due to her acting chops, she had the accent down cold and insisted on drinking Guiness and Heiniken while working. She had LOTS of regulars that came to visit her and bought it hook line and sinker that she was an English broad and not a girl from East Texas named Latoya.

Dear God

Oh, yeah. A gal stuck her nipple in my nostril in there once.

 

[Abraham]

Abe, I like the name Hattie. It's unique without being weird. And as a man who has perhaps the most uncommon and weirdest sounding middle name in the history of the world, she'll live no matter what you go with. My middle name gets used less than a Sybian Machine in an Amish barn.

Plus, you can always correct people when they pronounce John like it rhymes with Dawn and tell them it's got a French pronunciation, like the bald guy from Star Wars, Jean-Luc.

Knew you'd understand GBFN.

 

[Thorn]

On the bright side, I really can't imagine a stripper being named Hattie.

Pretty sure they all use fake names.

My limited research confirms this but I'll defer to uni.

 

[Thorn]

I find it hard to believe K4 has never been in a gentleperson's club.

Are there any black girls that actually are named Chocolate? I'm asking for a friend.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

On the good news front...

It's pretty much confirmed that we will not have standardized state testing at the end of the year since everybody is busy dry-humping Common Core.

What does that mean to your humble narrator? I don't have to cover everything in the freaking text. I can go back to what it was like before there was a History portion on the state test.

If I want to skim over the American System or the Nullification Crisis in favor of spending more time on something I think is more interesting/relevant I can.

Explain this to me like I smoked dope through HS and went to college for one day.

So, you don't have to "teach the test" anymore?

Yes. Even though we were never supposed to "teach to the test". This is what it sounds like coming from a higher-up

"Tests are just one yardstick."

"I'd really like to see our numbers go up."

"Don't teach to the test. Your lessons should incorporate all of the standards anyway."

"Make sure you cover Reconstruction. There seem to be a lot of questions on that last year."

"Standardized tests are just a tiny window into one day of one week of one school year."

"I bet we can improve by 4-6% this year!"

Serious question: The whole "teach to the test" thing created a lot of strong opinions, mostly against it. My parents are both teachers and I gather that their interest has always been - in order - (1) fostering a love of learning (2) taking what is learned and using it in exponential ways i.e. 'learning to solve problems' and (3) imparting specific knowledge on the student. Seems reasonable. Why not just make the test more of a reflection of 2 instead of 3?

I don't want to get into a huge educational-philosophical discussion in this thread but what it comes down to is people (politicians, admins, parents, etc0 want numbers and/or stats they can point to and say "this is working" or "this isn't working". Or "look at how well/bad our kids are doing".

To me "teaching to the test" means that the bottom line as far as your lessons and approach go is improving test scores even if it has nothing to do with the kids actually knowing or understanding the subject matter. And when it comes to the current standardized test we use (pure multiple choice) it is mostly teaching kids facts and teaching them how to take a multiple choice tests.

 

[Thorn]

I kinda like Hattie, Abe. It's different but traditional, too.

Hattie just sounds like "hatty" in my brain. As in "related to hats".

"That girl sure likes hats. I don't think I've ever met a more hatty girl."

I think that's on you.

How you be, my initial-coshole-meet?

(then a giant got out of the van)

No complaints my friend. I work too much but that's probably my fault. On the plus side I have a new girlfriend from the Russian-bride-friendly nation of Ukraine. Sort of eats away at most chances to do a 4am cucumber vodka drink, but the benefits outweigh the costs.

How you feelin?

 

[Thorn]

It is next to impossible to talk in your sleep with a CPAP mask ramming air up your nose. Just throwing that out there.

WITNESS

 

[Abraham]

I don't want to get into a huge educational-philosophical discussion in this thread but what it comes down to is people (politicians, admins, parents, etc0 want numbers and/or stats they can point to and say "this is working" or "this isn't working". Or "look at how well/bad our kids are doing".

To me "teaching to the test" means that the bottom line as far as your lessons and approach go is improving test scores even if it has nothing to do with the kids actually knowing or understanding the subject matter. And when it comes to the current standardized test we use (pure multiple choice) it is mostly teaching kids facts and teaching them how to take a multiple choice tests.

I don't think there is any reason to not have a discussion in here as long as it doesn't get in the way of making fun of my gas-pumping habits or Zook's rotten weiner.

Regarding point one: The problem with the quantifying of results by politicians and administrators is that the parents are complicit in it. They want a way to know their kid is doing "well "or "better" than other kids. So scoring things becomes imperative (supposedly).

Regarding point two: Part of the problem is that it's a multiple choice test so a lot of the test doesn't teach process or problem solve but rather fact recollection. Agreed - I see the issue.

What about having a different evaluation method? Why not something extreme like peer review where teachers from different districts trade classrooms for a couple weeks each semester and perform evaluations? An educator - a good one - should be able to walk in to a classroom and with a little time evaluate if the students are "getting it" or not.