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GM's thread about nothing (25 Viewers)

According to the Mirror, in Shrewsbury crown court, Redfearn said he had been abused and raped by a German Shepherd when he was 12 years old.

Although the video showed him having sex with the horse, Redfearn avoided jail time because no evidence could be found that the animal was distressed.
Police: "Were you distressed?"

Horse: "Nay!"
:lmao: x infinity

 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.

 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Terrible.

I never understood this reaction to big gambling debts - why not go shoot the bookie instead?

 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Depressing empathy.

We all have haunting in our past, some more than others. My best friend in first grade was a kid named mathew Howie. We got along great at age 6. By sixth grade, I was a "popular" kid and he was a dorkie kid and we didn't act like we knew each other except for me bullying him with the other cool kids. I moved away after that year but heard later that as a Freshman he hanged himself one night when his parents went to a movie together. After I moved I went to a new school with a bunch of interesting smart people. One of them was a boy named Corey crane. I actually was nice to him - it was a small school and everyone got along - but for some reason after graduation he felt the need to shoot himself in the head with his fathers .22.

I'm sorry for your friend and for the loss felt by you and everyone around them. My mom asked me once about what I remember about my childhood most and one night, after drinking, I told her I usually think about Matthew Howie when I remember my childhood. And how his parents don't have him around to ask that kind of question to. We don't talk about it any more.

Have a drink for me. Regrettably I'm out of booze tonight.
 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Depressing empathy.

We all have haunting in our past, some more than others. My best friend in first grade was a kid named mathew Howie. We got along great at age 6. By sixth grade, I was a "popular" kid and he was a dorkie kid and we didn't act like we knew each other except for me bullying him with the other cool kids. I moved away after that year but heard later that as a Freshman he hanged himself one night when his parents went to a movie together. After I moved I went to a new school with a bunch of interesting smart people. One of them was a boy named Corey crane. I actually was nice to him - it was a small school and everyone got along - but for some reason after graduation he felt the need to shoot himself in the head with his fathers .22.

I'm sorry for your friend and for the loss felt by you and everyone around them. My mom asked me once about what I remember about my childhood most and one night, after drinking, I told her I usually think about Matthew Howie when I remember my childhood. And how his parents don't have him around to ask that kind of question to. We don't talk about it any more.

Have a drink for me. Regrettably I'm out of booze tonight.
His dad read his suicide note at the funeral. His dad was the guy who took me to my first ever soccer game (sucked) and bought me a soccer related hat (ruled). He also would always drive us to go rent whatever video game we wanted or would order pizza if I was staying over.

I didn't go to the funeral. That sucks.

 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Depressing empathy.
We all have haunting in our past, some more than others. My best friend in first grade was a kid named mathew Howie. We got along great at age 6. By sixth grade, I was a "popular" kid and he was a dorkie kid and we didn't act like we knew each other except for me bullying him with the other cool kids. I moved away after that year but heard later that as a Freshman he hanged himself one night when his parents went to a movie together. After I moved I went to a new school with a bunch of interesting smart people. One of them was a boy named Corey crane. I actually was nice to him - it was a small school and everyone got along - but for some reason after graduation he felt the need to shoot himself in the head with his fathers .22.

I'm sorry for your friend and for the loss felt by you and everyone around them. My mom asked me once about what I remember about my childhood most and one night, after drinking, I told her I usually think about Matthew Howie when I remember my childhood. And how his parents don't have him around to ask that kind of question to. We don't talk about it any more.

Have a drink for me. Regrettably I'm out of booze tonight.
His dad read his suicide note at the funeral. His dad was the guy who took me to my first ever soccer game (sucked) and bought me a soccer related hat (ruled). He also would always drive us to go rent whatever video game we wanted or would order pizza if I was staying over.

I didn't go to the funeral. That sucks.

I'm a parent now and I can't think of a worse hell than losing a child, particularly like that.

I hope his family - and his friends like you - find peace some day.

 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Depressing empathy.
We all have haunting in our past, some more than others. My best friend in first grade was a kid named mathew Howie. We got along great at age 6. By sixth grade, I was a "popular" kid and he was a dorkie kid and we didn't act like we knew each other except for me bullying him with the other cool kids. I moved away after that year but heard later that as a Freshman he hanged himself one night when his parents went to a movie together. After I moved I went to a new school with a bunch of interesting smart people. One of them was a boy named Corey crane. I actually was nice to him - it was a small school and everyone got along - but for some reason after graduation he felt the need to shoot himself in the head with his fathers .22.

I'm sorry for your friend and for the loss felt by you and everyone around them. My mom asked me once about what I remember about my childhood most and one night, after drinking, I told her I usually think about Matthew Howie when I remember my childhood. And how his parents don't have him around to ask that kind of question to. We don't talk about it any more.

Have a drink for me. Regrettably I'm out of booze tonight.
His dad read his suicide note at the funeral. His dad was the guy who took me to my first ever soccer game (sucked) and bought me a soccer related hat (ruled). He also would always drive us to go rent whatever video game we wanted or would order pizza if I was staying over.

I didn't go to the funeral. That sucks.

I'm a parent now and I can't think of a worse hell than losing a child, particularly like that.

I hope his family - and his friends like you - find peace some day.
:goodposting:

I've known a few who killed themselves. The one that sticks with me is Scott Bell. He lived two doors up from me. One Friday in sixth grade (he was in eighth grade) I was supposed to spend the night at his house - he wasn't in school that day though. I came home and my mom told me that he'd hung himself in the shower.

His mother was crazy anyway but that really screwed her up. I don't know how you go on as a parent.

 
Sorry for your loss Frosty. Always hard to lose someone you were once close to.
It's not even that because I haven't seen him in like 10 years or so. It's just. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't know why I'm typing. See you guys later.
You don't need to be able to explain it. It's jarring enough when someone you know dies, and even more so when they take their own life.

I hope you and his family find some peace in this.

 
Sorry for your loss Frosty. Always hard to lose someone you were once close to.
It's not even that because I haven't seen him in like 10 years or so. It's just. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't know why I'm typing. See you guys later.
Seriously, a guy I grew up with got hit by a train on the way home from work leaving his 3 young boys and wife behind. It was hard on me even though I haven't spoken to him in 15 years. It's tough no matter how recent you've known them
 
Have known my fair share of people that have taken their own life. Yet for some reason, the one that really haunts me is someone I really didn't even know.

A new family moved in next door to us a couple of years back. And while I met the parents (mom and step-dad), I never really met the son. He was probably around 18 and the most we ever really communicated with one another was a wave on the rare occasion we crossed paths.

One day after work, I thought i heard a scream come from outside. It wasnt overly loud, but it was enough to get my attention and look around outside. With the neighborhood seeming normal, I went back to what I was doing

As I was cooking dinner, I saw the flashing lights of a police car light up my kitchen. When I looked back outside, there were about 5 squad cars and an ambulance in front of the neighbor's house.

Officers came by the house and had asked me how long I had been home and if I had heard anything odd since I had been home.

Scream I heard ended up being the mom finding her son in the basement, dead from a self inflicted gunshot wound.

 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Depressing empathy.
We all have haunting in our past, some more than others. My best friend in first grade was a kid named mathew Howie. We got along great at age 6. By sixth grade, I was a "popular" kid and he was a dorkie kid and we didn't act like we knew each other except for me bullying him with the other cool kids. I moved away after that year but heard later that as a Freshman he hanged himself one night when his parents went to a movie together. After I moved I went to a new school with a bunch of interesting smart people. One of them was a boy named Corey crane. I actually was nice to him - it was a small school and everyone got along - but for some reason after graduation he felt the need to shoot himself in the head with his fathers .22.

I'm sorry for your friend and for the loss felt by you and everyone around them. My mom asked me once about what I remember about my childhood most and one night, after drinking, I told her I usually think about Matthew Howie when I remember my childhood. And how his parents don't have him around to ask that kind of question to. We don't talk about it any more.

Have a drink for me. Regrettably I'm out of booze tonight.
His dad read his suicide note at the funeral. His dad was the guy who took me to my first ever soccer game (sucked) and bought me a soccer related hat (ruled). He also would always drive us to go rent whatever video game we wanted or would order pizza if I was staying over.

I didn't go to the funeral. That sucks.

I'm a parent now and I can't think of a worse hell than losing a child, particularly like that.

I hope his family - and his friends like you - find peace some day.
:goodposting:

I've known a few who killed themselves. The one that sticks with me is Scott Bell. He lived two doors up from me. One Friday in sixth grade (he was in eighth grade) I was supposed to spend the night at his house - he wasn't in school that day though. I came home and my mom told me that he'd hung himself in the shower.

His mother was crazy anyway but that really screwed her up. I don't know how you go on as a parent.
I had a roommate back in college(sorta) named Scott Bell. Don't think it is the same guy though. He's a lawyer now.

 
So. I haven't been on these boards in a long, long time. Things have been . . . busy.

1. I work for the govt. About 5 months ago I was offered a chance to take a "detail" and go work for the legal devision in my Department, as the head of the General Indian Law section. It is an awesome opportunity to learn more. But has been so effing hard, and so effing time consuming. I work constantly all day, and work is always on my mind at home. The detail is up Nov. 1. I'd love them to offer me the job permanently, but I don't think they will, for a variety of reasons (they also have no money to hire, which is why I'm doing it). It is also exhausting because it is like a 6 month job interview and I'm terrified of making a mistake.

2. As many of you are aware, I've had problems with my wife for a long, long time. I finally snapped, and told her this weekend I can't do it anymore, and I needed to separate, at least for a little while, to figure out what is best for me, the kids, and the marriage. I don't like the dynamic we have established for eachother. I don't like how I act around her; I don't like how she relates to me; and I'm not sure I like who I am while we are together. There is a lot more to the story (we've been in counseling for a long time; she's made an attempt to "be a better wife" lately, but that just pissed me off because why the hell has she waited until I was wanting to leave before she actually was responsive to my LONG running conserns, etc.) I told her I just had to go -- I was afraid that if I told her that I wanted to separate, but then stayed in the house until I found someplace to go, then I would never go. She would be on her best behavior, and I would just get complacent. So I left this past friday. I'm sleeping in a friend's extra room until this weekend. I'm not sure where I'm going to go after that.

3. I've seen the kids every day. I come get them ready for school in the morning. And I come see them from 6-8 or so at night. We go to the library, or the park, or get something to eat. Then bring them back home.

4. My wife really wants me to come back. She is putting a lot of pressure on me; she's sad, she's crying; it is really effing hard. She got mad yesterday, saying I could just "come and go when I want" and that "i'm just the fun dad and didn't have to deal with the fallout." I told her I could get a permanent place to rent nearby, and take the kids half the time to stay with me. She got upset and said "please don't take the kids from me." Good christ.

5. I'm exhausted, stressed, and haven't slept well in 5 days. My old bed is inviting. I want my wife to stop crying. I don't really have a plan for after Friday.

Ok . . . Just needed to vent. I probably can't write much because I'm so busy at work and I don't want this to affect work. But thanks for listening GMTAN.

 
Oh, and it would be great if someone gave a summary of GMTAN in the last 4 months. I feel like I've come home from a long trip away.

 
I suggest you cheat on her and leave evidence (like a text or email, not physical evidence you sickos) so she catches you and then she won't be so sad.

GLGBSJ

 
Sorry to hear, Sweet J.

Glll with whatever you decide to do.

Edit: FWIW it sounds eerily similar to my divorce (the not doing anything until the very last moment and then a bunch of promises that probably won't be kept). Luckily I didn't have kids, but it sounds like you'll be heavily involved with them regardless.

 
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Damn, Sweet J. I was pretty bummed that my GMTAN FF team was off to an 0-2 start despite me hiring a ringer as a co-manager, but I guess my life could be a lot worse. Hopefully Tanner will post some cat pics soon to cheer you up.

 
Damn, J. Not sure what else to say but hang in there.

Just remember that if you ever need someone to talk to...someone to give advice or just to vent...you can always PM Shuke.

 
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Oh, and it would be great if someone gave a summary of GMTAN in the last 4 months. I feel like I've come home from a long trip away.
Paging Statorama.

Sorry you're going through all of this, SJ. Stay strong - things will get better.

 
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So. I haven't been on these boards in a long, long time. Things have been . . . busy.

1. I work for the govt. About 5 months ago I was offered a chance to take a "detail" and go work for the legal devision in my Department, as the head of the General Indian Law section. It is an awesome opportunity to learn more. But has been so effing hard, and so effing time consuming. I work constantly all day, and work is always on my mind at home. The detail is up Nov. 1. I'd love them to offer me the job permanently, but I don't think they will, for a variety of reasons (they also have no money to hire, which is why I'm doing it). It is also exhausting because it is like a 6 month job interview and I'm terrified of making a mistake.

2. As many of you are aware, I've had problems with my wife for a long, long time. I finally snapped, and told her this weekend I can't do it anymore, and I needed to separate, at least for a little while, to figure out what is best for me, the kids, and the marriage. I don't like the dynamic we have established for eachother. I don't like how I act around her; I don't like how she relates to me; and I'm not sure I like who I am while we are together. There is a lot more to the story (we've been in counseling for a long time; she's made an attempt to "be a better wife" lately, but that just pissed me off because why the hell has she waited until I was wanting to leave before she actually was responsive to my LONG running conserns, etc.) I told her I just had to go -- I was afraid that if I told her that I wanted to separate, but then stayed in the house until I found someplace to go, then I would never go. She would be on her best behavior, and I would just get complacent. So I left this past friday. I'm sleeping in a friend's extra room until this weekend. I'm not sure where I'm going to go after that.

3. I've seen the kids every day. I come get them ready for school in the morning. And I come see them from 6-8 or so at night. We go to the library, or the park, or get something to eat. Then bring them back home.

4. My wife really wants me to come back. She is putting a lot of pressure on me; she's sad, she's crying; it is really effing hard. She got mad yesterday, saying I could just "come and go when I want" and that "i'm just the fun dad and didn't have to deal with the fallout." I told her I could get a permanent place to rent nearby, and take the kids half the time to stay with me. She got upset and said "please don't take the kids from me." Good christ.

5. I'm exhausted, stressed, and haven't slept well in 5 days. My old bed is inviting. I want my wife to stop crying. I don't really have a plan for after Friday.

Ok . . . Just needed to vent. I probably can't write much because I'm so busy at work and I don't want this to affect work. But thanks for listening GMTAN.
I know this has been a long time coming. I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad for you, but I wish you the best regardless. All I can offer are the words of a brilliant man. May they ever guide you in times of darkness. "Please always remember and don't ever forget - it is the wise man who ducks before the camel spits."

 
Ignoramus said:
Damn, Sweet J. I was pretty bummed that my GMTAN FF team was off to an 0-2 start despite me hiring a ringer as a co-manager, but I guess my life could be a lot worse. Hopefully Tanner will post some cat pics soon to cheer you up.
David Wilson is ####### KILLING US.

 
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Sorry to hear that GB.

:(

 
cstu said:
Did I ever tell you guys about how my old best friend from high school killed himself a couple months ago? I hadn't spoken to him in like 10 years but I just found out he did it by just going into the garage and starting the car and keeping the garage door clothes and just sat there until he died. Because of his gambling debt.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.
Terrible.

I never understood this reaction to big gambling debts - why not go shoot the bookie instead?
Back in the day, I ran up a $25k debt to my bookie. I said that's it, I can't pay that and I'm done gambling. That night on TV they were running a story about the Military here in Milwaukee, well who do i see on the screen? Yep my book. They interviewed him too. Next day i called him and thanked him for his service..... He went silent and didn't say a word......He then said I could keep gambling but my debt would only be 20% of what I owed and that I had to pay him a $100/week, if I won more than that I could keep it each week.

I agreed and went on a crazy freaking hot streak where he was actually paying me each week, yet I still owed him money. He finally closed up around Super Bowl.

 
Sweet J said:
So. I haven't been on these boards in a long, long time. Things have been . . . busy.

1. I work for the govt. About 5 months ago I was offered a chance to take a "detail" and go work for the legal devision in my Department, as the head of the General Indian Law section. It is an awesome opportunity to learn more. But has been so effing hard, and so effing time consuming. I work constantly all day, and work is always on my mind at home. The detail is up Nov. 1. I'd love them to offer me the job permanently, but I don't think they will, for a variety of reasons (they also have no money to hire, which is why I'm doing it). It is also exhausting because it is like a 6 month job interview and I'm terrified of making a mistake.

2. As many of you are aware, I've had problems with my wife for a long, long time. I finally snapped, and told her this weekend I can't do it anymore, and I needed to separate, at least for a little while, to figure out what is best for me, the kids, and the marriage. I don't like the dynamic we have established for eachother. I don't like how I act around her; I don't like how she relates to me; and I'm not sure I like who I am while we are together. There is a lot more to the story (we've been in counseling for a long time; she's made an attempt to "be a better wife" lately, but that just pissed me off because why the hell has she waited until I was wanting to leave before she actually was responsive to my LONG running conserns, etc.) I told her I just had to go -- I was afraid that if I told her that I wanted to separate, but then stayed in the house until I found someplace to go, then I would never go. She would be on her best behavior, and I would just get complacent. So I left this past friday. I'm sleeping in a friend's extra room until this weekend. I'm not sure where I'm going to go after that.

3. I've seen the kids every day. I come get them ready for school in the morning. And I come see them from 6-8 or so at night. We go to the library, or the park, or get something to eat. Then bring them back home.

4. My wife really wants me to come back. She is putting a lot of pressure on me; she's sad, she's crying; it is really effing hard. She got mad yesterday, saying I could just "come and go when I want" and that "i'm just the fun dad and didn't have to deal with the fallout." I told her I could get a permanent place to rent nearby, and take the kids half the time to stay with me. She got upset and said "please don't take the kids from me." Good christ.

5. I'm exhausted, stressed, and haven't slept well in 5 days. My old bed is inviting. I want my wife to stop crying. I don't really have a plan for after Friday.

Ok . . . Just needed to vent. I probably can't write much because I'm so busy at work and I don't want this to affect work. But thanks for listening GMTAN.
Hang in there J. Figure out what you need and then try to determine if you ever think she can give it to you. The stresses of the new assignment may be pushing you farther than normal as well. Good luck GB.

 
Sweet J said:
So. I haven't been on these boards in a long, long time. Things have been . . . busy.

1. I work for the govt. About 5 months ago I was offered a chance to take a "detail" and go work for the legal devision in my Department, as the head of the General Indian Law section. It is an awesome opportunity to learn more. But has been so effing hard, and so effing time consuming. I work constantly all day, and work is always on my mind at home. The detail is up Nov. 1. I'd love them to offer me the job permanently, but I don't think they will, for a variety of reasons (they also have no money to hire, which is why I'm doing it). It is also exhausting because it is like a 6 month job interview and I'm terrified of making a mistake.

2. As many of you are aware, I've had problems with my wife for a long, long time. I finally snapped, and told her this weekend I can't do it anymore, and I needed to separate, at least for a little while, to figure out what is best for me, the kids, and the marriage. I don't like the dynamic we have established for eachother. I don't like how I act around her; I don't like how she relates to me; and I'm not sure I like who I am while we are together. There is a lot more to the story (we've been in counseling for a long time; she's made an attempt to "be a better wife" lately, but that just pissed me off because why the hell has she waited until I was wanting to leave before she actually was responsive to my LONG running conserns, etc.) I told her I just had to go -- I was afraid that if I told her that I wanted to separate, but then stayed in the house until I found someplace to go, then I would never go. She would be on her best behavior, and I would just get complacent. So I left this past friday. I'm sleeping in a friend's extra room until this weekend. I'm not sure where I'm going to go after that.

3. I've seen the kids every day. I come get them ready for school in the morning. And I come see them from 6-8 or so at night. We go to the library, or the park, or get something to eat. Then bring them back home.

4. My wife really wants me to come back. She is putting a lot of pressure on me; she's sad, she's crying; it is really effing hard. She got mad yesterday, saying I could just "come and go when I want" and that "i'm just the fun dad and didn't have to deal with the fallout." I told her I could get a permanent place to rent nearby, and take the kids half the time to stay with me. She got upset and said "please don't take the kids from me." Good christ.

5. I'm exhausted, stressed, and haven't slept well in 5 days. My old bed is inviting. I want my wife to stop crying. I don't really have a plan for after Friday.

Ok . . . Just needed to vent. I probably can't write much because I'm so busy at work and I don't want this to affect work. But thanks for listening GMTAN.
Hang in there J. Figure out what you need and then try to determine if you ever think she can give it to you. The stresses of the new assignment may be pushing you farther than normal as well. Good luck GB.
:goodposting:

This is sage advice. Making a big choice like this is not a good idea when you're fatigued and stressed like it appears you are at the moment.

Stay in an extended stay/business hotel nearby if you can rather than committing yourself to a long lease of an apartment or something, and then maybe plan on November-December (after your project ends) to sort out a longer term plan for your marriage.

 
Annyong said:
Frostillicus said:
Annyong said:
Sorry for your loss Frosty. Always hard to lose someone you were once close to.
It's not even that because I haven't seen him in like 10 years or so. It's just. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't know why I'm typing. See you guys later.
Seriously, a guy I grew up with got hit by a train on the way home from work leaving his 3 young boys and wife behind. It was hard on me even though I haven't spoken to him in 15 years. It's tough no matter how recent you've known them
A kid I knew in H.S. took his own life by hanging himself. I'm sure today he'd have been diagnosed "on the spectrum" and probably would have gotten some help. Wasn't good friends with him, but knew him fairly well since he was in a club with me. I remember being super sad when we found out, but then pretty much just shut it out and never thought about it afterwards.

I was back in my college town for a football game about five years after I'd graduated standing in front of a friend's house right at the stadium when another couple I knew walked past as they were leaving the game. Turned out they had parents that lived just up the street -- next to a college girlfiend's townie parents. They didn't know I'd dated her for a long time and mentioned in passing that she'd killed herself with a hose and a muffler -- and left a long note to her parents. We hadn't been in touch at all since I graduated and I didn't have any sort of big reaction, but I had dreams where I was talking to her for a long time afterwards.

Two summers ago I was walking down the Metro platform when a guy ran across my path maybe 20 feet in front of me and jumped in front of an approaching train. The train was coming from behind me and when it blew its horn I looked up just in time to see the guy in mid-air over the tracks. I don't think I saw the train him him -- all I remember is him hanging in the air off the platform -- but that one actually hit me harder than the other two since I'd seen it happen. Not so much anymore, but for the first year I thought of that guy every time I heard a train horn (which is a lot -- we live close to the station).

There's really no way to tell how something like that is going to affect you Frost, but it's always hard to find out that someone was in enough pain or hopeless enough to do that kind of damage to themselves. Best wishes.

 
Sweet J said:
So. I haven't been on these boards in a long, long time. Things have been . . . busy.

1. I work for the govt. About 5 months ago I was offered a chance to take a "detail" and go work for the legal devision in my Department, as the head of the General Indian Law section. It is an awesome opportunity to learn more. But has been so effing hard, and so effing time consuming. I work constantly all day, and work is always on my mind at home. The detail is up Nov. 1. I'd love them to offer me the job permanently, but I don't think they will, for a variety of reasons (they also have no money to hire, which is why I'm doing it). It is also exhausting because it is like a 6 month job interview and I'm terrified of making a mistake.

2. As many of you are aware, I've had problems with my wife for a long, long time. I finally snapped, and told her this weekend I can't do it anymore, and I needed to separate, at least for a little while, to figure out what is best for me, the kids, and the marriage. I don't like the dynamic we have established for eachother. I don't like how I act around her; I don't like how she relates to me; and I'm not sure I like who I am while we are together. There is a lot more to the story (we've been in counseling for a long time; she's made an attempt to "be a better wife" lately, but that just pissed me off because why the hell has she waited until I was wanting to leave before she actually was responsive to my LONG running conserns, etc.) I told her I just had to go -- I was afraid that if I told her that I wanted to separate, but then stayed in the house until I found someplace to go, then I would never go. She would be on her best behavior, and I would just get complacent. So I left this past friday. I'm sleeping in a friend's extra room until this weekend. I'm not sure where I'm going to go after that.

3. I've seen the kids every day. I come get them ready for school in the morning. And I come see them from 6-8 or so at night. We go to the library, or the park, or get something to eat. Then bring them back home.

4. My wife really wants me to come back. She is putting a lot of pressure on me; she's sad, she's crying; it is really effing hard. She got mad yesterday, saying I could just "come and go when I want" and that "i'm just the fun dad and didn't have to deal with the fallout." I told her I could get a permanent place to rent nearby, and take the kids half the time to stay with me. She got upset and said "please don't take the kids from me." Good christ.

5. I'm exhausted, stressed, and haven't slept well in 5 days. My old bed is inviting. I want my wife to stop crying. I don't really have a plan for after Friday.

Ok . . . Just needed to vent. I probably can't write much because I'm so busy at work and I don't want this to affect work. But thanks for listening GMTAN.
Awful situation. How old are your kids?

 
Sorry Sweet J.

I remember that you offered a friendly ear during my divorce/custody issues. You need anything or just to chat, let me know.

 

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