GM's thread about nothing (60 Viewers)

[Homer J Simpson]

Sorry, man. That's rough.

Still up?

Yep. Been fully nocturnal TE last few weeks.

As I tell my daughter so she won't get scared, night time is when the sun goes to bed and the moon wakes up. So I tell you homer, do not fear of the dark because all it means is the sun has gone to bed and our good friend the moon has awoken and is ready to party.

You've been a horrible father to me.

 

[walnutz]

Well - just like that my buddy is gone. I was with him to the last minute. Had my hand on his stomach and could feel his heart beating one minute and then it just stopped. I know he is in a better place but really sucks this morning for my 2 boys. My youngest is a mess. When he gets home from soccer it is going to be hard.

Thanks for the well wishes.

 

[T Bell]

One of my friends on FB just had a baby girl. The baby has the same first and last name as her mother

Are they going with "Jr." or starting the Roman numerals?

 

[T Bell]

Well - just like that my buddy is gone. I was with him to the last minute. Had my hand on his stomach and could feel his heart beating one minute and then it just stopped. I know he is in a better place but really sucks this morning for my 2 boys. My youngest is a mess. When he gets home from soccer it is going to be hard.

Thanks for the well wishes.

Sorry you're dealing with that. I've got such a trip coming up sooner than I want for my almost-11-year old German Shepherd. :(

 

[General Malaise]

I wrote here a few weeks ago about the condition that my 13 year old lab was in. He had been doing fine over the past weeks. However, last night before bed his front leg seemed to give out. He can't get up with his weaker back legs now and the front one not working right.

My youngest son has a soccer game this morning. My wife and told the kids to say good bye to their dog before they left for his soccer game. We did our best to explain to them how we don't want him to live in pain or in a state where he can't walk around and enjoy himself. My 6 year old was in tears. Just breaking my heart.

In 30 minutes I will be taking my best buddy to the vet when they open. In all likelihood this is it. I won't be bringing him home with me. For the first time in 13 years i will have to walk in the door and not be greeted by him.

This was definitely not the way that i saw my Saturday morning playing out.

Sorry, man :(

 

[General Malaise]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

 

[Guster]

One of my friends on FB just had a baby girl. The baby has the same first and last name as her mother

Are they going with "Jr." or starting the Roman numerals?

Yeah, I don't get it. At first I thought it was just a typo in the moment, but she just posted another picture and called the baby her name again

 

[Guster]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

 

[Guster]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

 

[Abraham]

Sorry, man. That's rough.

Still up?

Yep. Been fully nocturnal TE last few weeks.

As I tell my daughter so she won't get scared, night time is when the sun goes to bed and the moon wakes up. So I tell you homer, do not fear of the dark because all it means is the sun has gone to bed and our good friend the moon has awoken and is ready to party.

You've been a horrible father to me.

Considering you...

- don't have a boss

- don't have a job.

- get to drink a lot

- get to smoke a lot

- get to sleep a lot

- don't have to bathe.

- had a threesome more recently then the rest of us.

...id say I've done pretty well.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

Didn't get a firm no, but still waiting on a reply from Jessica Alba.

It's been 14 years, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

HMFS was that fun. We had a couple from Texas sitting next to us. Flew in yesterday just because they wanted to experience the game. They were really cool. Of course I ingratiated myself by responding to her "that was fast" ( going to the bathroom) with "WTF, you sound like my wife!".

Figured it was going to be an awesome day when they pub we were at before the game comped us beers because we happened to sit in a reserved section.

Needed this. Mind was too heavy with grief. It started raining in the 7th and it was glorious. Like our own personal champagne shower.

Thorn, had one of your beers iced up in the car to celebrate for the ride home. Greatest beer ever.

 

[GOB]

Pretty sure my brother is about to bang this married chick. I have a semi viewable video of her trying to twerk. I'm going to midnight yell....

I'm feeling good. This is going to be a disaster

Please report back on this experience. It sounds really bizarre.

Holy crap that was disappointing. Everybody was taking it too seriously. To be fair, I was making up cheers and lyrics and yelling at the wrong times but these guys really need to cut loose. It's college.

For some reason we couldn't find a cab home after so we had to have the husband of the guy my brother is probably banging pick us up. Best car ride I have had in some time.

I'm on my way back to campus to tail gate. Go aggies I think.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

Didn't get a firm no, but still waiting on a reply from Jessica Alba.

It's been 14 years, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

When Mrs. SLB was leaving for work yesterday, she as pulling out of the driveway, stopped her and said "if the Cardinals win tonight, I'm coming home and we're having dirty, dirty, sex". She yelled at me. Because I didn't notice Dylan had run up beside me. I found a box of donuts waiting for me when I got home. God I love her.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Yo GOB, hey.

 

[Abraham]

Your brother is banging a married guy?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

Didn't get a firm no, but still waiting on a reply from Jessica Alba.It's been 14 years, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

When Mrs. SLB was leaving for work yesterday, she as pulling out of the driveway, stopped her and said "if the Cardinals win tonight, I'm coming home and we're having dirty, dirty, sex". She yelled at me. Because I didn't notice Dylan had run up beside me. I found a box of donuts waiting for me when I got home. God I love her.

So did you have sex with the donuts?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

Didn't get a firm no, but still waiting on a reply from Jessica Alba.It's been 14 years, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

When Mrs. SLB was leaving for work yesterday, she as pulling out of the driveway, stopped her and said "if the Cardinals win tonight, I'm coming home and we're having dirty, dirty, sex". She yelled at me. Because I didn't notice Dylan had run up beside me. I found a box of donuts waiting for me when I got home. God I love her.

So did you have sex with the donuts?

Sloppy, dirty, sex. Woke up with part of a Long John on my night stand. True story.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Meant to post this last week. This is hot.

 

[UniAlias]

Pretty sure my brother is about to bang this married chick. I have a semi viewable video of her trying to twerk. I'm going to midnight yell....

I'm feeling good. This is going to be a disaster

Please report back on this experience. It sounds really bizarre.

Holy crap that was disappointing. Everybody was taking it too seriously. To be fair, I was making up cheers and lyrics and yelling at the wrong times but these guys really need to cut loose. It's college.For some reason we couldn't find a cab home after so we had to have the husband of the guy my brother is probably banging pick us up. Best car ride I have had in some time.

I'm on my way back to campus to tail gate. Go aggies I think.

Going next weekend for the Vanderbilt game. My Aggie friends claim this midnight yell business is full of booze and chicks looking to make out in the dark. I'm skeptical. Think I may just go get hammered at a bar that Friday instead.

Have fun at the game.

 

[GOB]

Pretty sure my brother is about to bang this married chick. I have a semi viewable video of her trying to twerk. I'm going to midnight yell....

I'm feeling good. This is going to be a disaster

Please report back on this experience. It sounds really bizarre.

Holy crap that was disappointing. Everybody was taking it too seriously. To be fair, I was making up cheers and lyrics and yelling at the wrong times but these guys really need to cut loose. It's college.For some reason we couldn't find a cab home after so we had to have the husband of the guy my brother is probably banging pick us up. Best car ride I have had in some time.

I'm on my way back to campus to tail gate. Go aggies I think.

Going next weekend for the Vanderbilt game. My Aggie friends claim this midnight yell business is full of booze and chicks looking to make out in the dark. I'm skeptical. Think I may just go get hammered at a bar that Friday instead. Have fun at the game.

This is extremely false unless last night was poorly attended? Which seems unlikely since they have nothing to do here. I'd skip it. Go to a bar, the women are extremely keen on out of towners. Except on campus obviously.

 

[cosjobs]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

Didn't get a firm no, but still waiting on a reply from Jessica Alba.It's been 14 years, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

When Mrs. SLB was leaving for work yesterday, she as pulling out of the driveway, stopped her and said "if the Cardinals win tonight, I'm coming home and we're having dirty, dirty, sex". She yelled at me. Because I didn't notice Dylan had run up beside me. I found a box of donuts waiting for me when I got home. God I love her.

So did you have sex with the donuts?

Sloppy, dirty, sex. Woke up with part of a Long John on my night stand. True story.

This?

 

[heckmanm]

Sorry to hear, Walnutz. That's a tough moment, I know.

 

[Fuller]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

Didn't get a firm no, but still waiting on a reply from Jessica Alba.It's been 14 years, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

When Mrs. SLB was leaving for work yesterday, she as pulling out of the driveway, stopped her and said "if the Cardinals win tonight, I'm coming home and we're having dirty, dirty, sex". She yelled at me. Because I didn't notice Dylan had run up beside me. I found a box of donuts waiting for me when I got home. God I love her.

So did you have sex with the donuts?

Sloppy, dirty, sex. Woke up with part of a Long John on my night stand. True story.

This?

nothing better than a giant picture of a fake pink dong popping up on your computer at work.

 

[Fuller]

tanner

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Congrats Doc Gonzo. It gets easier the second time you do it.

Has anyone in here ever seriously proposed to a girl and gotten turned down??

Didn't get a firm no, but still waiting on a reply from Jessica Alba.It's been 14 years, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

When Mrs. SLB was leaving for work yesterday, she as pulling out of the driveway, stopped her and said "if the Cardinals win tonight, I'm coming home and we're having dirty, dirty, sex". She yelled at me. Because I didn't notice Dylan had run up beside me. I found a box of donuts waiting for me when I got home. God I love her.

So did you have sex with the donuts?

Sloppy, dirty, sex. Woke up with part of a Long John on my night stand. True story.

This?

LOL, just ate the rest of my donut on the nightstand.

Wearing my U of Hold Em sweatshirt. Feeling good my friend.

 

[YSR]

I never go shopping. I bought a couple of weeks' worth of maternity clothes and just cycled through them. I like wine but don't really even buy it that much. Point being: I just don't spend a lot of money. At all.

Except that, as of today's unfortunate phone-in-cup-of-water incident, I've either lost or drowned 4-5 iPhones in the last 4 years. I haven't told Romo about today yet, as I have my phone in a bag of rice tucked away in the back of my parents' guest room closet and am hoping for the best.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I wrote here a few weeks ago about the condition that my 13 year old lab was in. He had been doing fine over the past weeks. However, last night before bed his front leg seemed to give out. He can't get up with his weaker back legs now and the front one not working right.

My youngest son has a soccer game this morning. My wife and told the kids to say good bye to their dog before they left for his soccer game. We did our best to explain to them how we don't want him to live in pain or in a state where he can't walk around and enjoy himself. My 6 year old was in tears. Just breaking my heart.

In 30 minutes I will be taking my best buddy to the vet when they open. In all likelihood this is it. I won't be bringing him home with me. For the first time in 13 years i will have to walk in the door and not be greeted by him.

This was definitely not the way that i saw my Saturday morning playing out.

Damn. That sucks man. Stay strong.

 

[Frostillicus]

I never go shopping. I bought a couple of weeks' worth of maternity clothes and just cycled through them. I like wine but don't really even buy it that much. Point being: I just don't spend a lot of money. At all.

Except that, as of today's unfortunate phone-in-cup-of-water incident, I've either lost or drowned 4-5 iPhones in the last 4 years. I haven't told Romo about today yet, as I have my phone in a bag of rice tucked away in the back of my parents' guest room closet and am hoping for the best.

You're a female. You spend a lot of money, even if you don't think you do. It's science.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

LOL, just ate the rest of my donut on the nightstand.

Related

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I never go shopping. I bought a couple of weeks' worth of maternity clothes and just cycled through them. I like wine but don't really even buy it that much. Point being: I just don't spend a lot of money. At all.

Except that, as of today's unfortunate phone-in-cup-of-water incident, I've either lost or drowned 4-5 iPhones in the last 4 years. I haven't told Romo about today yet, as I have my phone in a bag of rice tucked away in the back of my parents' guest room closet and am hoping for the best.

"Ouch."

I lost my first iphone to water damage. Was an expensive lesson.

Hope the rice works.

 

[T Bell]

It's happened: ###### cakes for baby showers.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

WTMF?

 

[BigJohn]

It's happened: ###### cakes for baby showers.

I'm never eating cake or ##### again.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

The problem with those cakes is that you can't touch them for 4-6 weeks after they're finished.

 

[krista4]

Sorry for your loss, walnutz.

 

[YSR]

That whole post was really just to let Homer know I can't get #### pics and Tanner know I can't get cat pics today.

 

[kevzilla]

Also, fewer drunk YSR posts later.

 

[Mr.Pack]

So sorry walnutz. I dread the day.

I went through this once, it sucks.

Hang in there

And congrats in advance Doc, you poor dumb *******.

This.

 

[Abraham]

We won. I have forgotten what to do in a situation wherein Tennessee wins a big game.

 

[YSR]

We won. I have forgotten what to do in a situation wherein Tennessee wins a big game.

My day is 1/2 complete.

 

[T Bell]

We won. I have forgotten what to do in a situation wherein Tennessee wins a big game.

My day is 1/2 complete.

Just need to do some drunk breastfeeding and you can clock out?

 

[DocGonzo]

Walnutz --> Sorry to hear about your dog man. Saying goodbye to pets is the worst.

*startsappyDocGonzo* Thanks all for the good vibes, advice, and ridicule regarding the proposal. It's cute how clueless she is right now. We had a great day on the island, biked all over the place, did some hiking, stopped in town for bloody marys at a couple of different bars. We came back to the hotel now to watch the Michigan game and get ready to go to dinner and she told me how much fun she had today and it was one of the best days she's ever had (yeah, she's easy to please). All I could think was "just wait." She has no idea what's coming and it's adorable. *endsappyDocGonzo*

 

[Gadzooks]

How young its too young and Howe old is too old?

Golfed for work today, stayed at bar forever. After eating crappy chicken wings they set up for the "class of 1973" 40 year reunion. I stole a name tag "Doug" and told everyone i was a Canadian exchange student from their class. Most people are believing me. Totally dominating the dance floor with these old broads. Couple old dudes don't like me, but i think i can out run them if stuff goes down.

I start hitting on a young waitress and she just told me she's 16. I told that I'm really only 18 in Canadian years. So far so good with her. There's also a divorced 58 year old that likes my fake Canadian accent which i think sounds half Australian and half Irish. This is awesome. Also, they had a moment of silence for deceased class members...I fake cried and got multiple hugs.

How is this not getting love? This is epic shtick. Do we just assume zooks makes this stuff up?

I'm skeptical about his reasonably passing for being 58.

I didn't think about that, but one of the guys I golfed with had stuck around and after awhile he mentioned to me that I could never pass for 58 and if they truly believe that then it's a huge insult to me. I reluctantly agreed with him.

All in all it was a very entertaining evening. I photobombed as much as I could, I only wish I could see all those pictures now. And the dancing... I don't usually dance because, well, I have less rhythm than Tanner. But with these old broads, I was like Thorn out there. One of the funnier parts was a conversation I had with some guy named Greg talking about all the people from the class who have passed on over the years. Now, they had a moment of silence and read off all the names of the deceased and I could've sworn there was a "Tim" that was mentioned. So me and this Greg guy are standing near the bar and after he mentions what a shame it is about all the people that passed, we had a conversation similar to the scene in Midnight Run when Charles Grodin pretends to be an FBI agent in the redneck bar with the bartender when Grodin gives a description of the alleged suspect. My conversation basically went like this:

Greg: they were all great people, I really miss Brad, he was my neighbor growing up.

Me: Yeah, for me, I miss Tim the most.

Greg: Tim? I think you mean Tom, right?

Me: No, Tim.

Greg: I don't think there was a Tim in our class, but there was a Tom who passed away 10 years ago.

Me: Short guy, right?

Greg: No, he was like 6 foot 3.

Me: Red hair?

Greg: No, black hair.

Me: Yeah, that sounds like Tim.

Awkward silence for a minute while Greg looks totally confused.

Me: (friendly punches Greg in the arm) Ok, Glenn I'll catch up with you later.

Greg: My name is Greg.

Me: I know. (wink and finger-thumb gunshot while I walk away)

Me and my golf buddy finally left and as we're walking out a few of the class members said good bye to me and one said to me "now don't be a stranger" I replied, "I promise I won't. See you all at the 50th!"

I may start crashing class reunions on a regular basis now. That was a fun time.

 

[Gadzooks]

TPW's to Walnutz and DocGonzo.

 

[YSR]

We won. I have forgotten what to do in a situation wherein Tennessee wins a big game.

My day is 1/2 complete.

Just need to do some drunk breastfeeding and you can clock out?

That was the first half.

 

[Gadzooks]

Oh, I almost forgot about this 16 year old waitress I was flirting with. For the record, I pretty much stopped flirting when she told me she was 16. While I was standing in the hallway waiting to use the men's room, I was texting one of my buddies and she walked by and said "hhmmm....looks like you're pretty good with your fingers". I was speechless and more than a little aroused, but I kept teling myself that she was younger than my niece. For entertainment value I was thinking about telling her to text me a picture of herself, but I was going to give her Homer's number instead of mine. But then I thought Homer might have a heart attack if he got a random text from a number he didn't know with a pic of a 16 year old. I was looking out for your health Homer. You're welcome.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I wrote here a few weeks ago about the condition that my 13 year old lab was in. He had been doing fine over the past weeks. However, last night before bed his front leg seemed to give out. He can't get up with his weaker back legs now and the front one not working right.

My youngest son has a soccer game this morning. My wife and told the kids to say good bye to their dog before they left for his soccer game. We did our best to explain to them how we don't want him to live in pain or in a state where he can't walk around and enjoy himself. My 6 year old was in tears. Just breaking my heart.

In 30 minutes I will be taking my best buddy to the vet when they open. In all likelihood this is it. I won't be bringing him home with me. For the first time in 13 years i will have to walk in the door and not be greeted by him.

This was definitely not the way that i saw my Saturday morning playing out.

Damn. That sucks man. Stay strong.

Missed this. So sorry GB. So sorry I haven't gotten together with you. My oldest has his friend over, you want to come over, drinks on me. :(

 

[St. Louis Bob]

How young its too young and Howe old is too old?

Golfed for work today, stayed at bar forever. After eating crappy chicken wings they set up for the "class of 1973" 40 year reunion. I stole a name tag "Doug" and told everyone i was a Canadian exchange student from their class. Most people are believing me. Totally dominating the dance floor with these old broads. Couple old dudes don't like me, but i think i can out run them if stuff goes down.

I start hitting on a young waitress and she just told me she's 16. I told that I'm really only 18 in Canadian years. So far so good with her. There's also a divorced 58 year old that likes my fake Canadian accent which i think sounds half Australian and half Irish. This is awesome. Also, they had a moment of silence for deceased class members...I fake cried and got multiple hugs.

How is this not getting love? This is epic shtick. Do we just assume zooks makes this stuff up?

I'm skeptical about his reasonably passing for being 58.

I didn't think about that, but one of the guys I golfed with had stuck around and after awhile he mentioned to me that I could never pass for 58 and if they truly believe that then it's a huge insult to me. I reluctantly agreed with him.

All in all it was a very entertaining evening. I photobombed as much as I could, I only wish I could see all those pictures now. And the dancing... I don't usually dance because, well, I have less rhythm than Tanner. But with these old broads, I was like Thorn out there. One of the funnier parts was a conversation I had with some guy named Greg talking about all the people from the class who have passed on over the years. Now, they had a moment of silence and read off all the names of the deceased and I could've sworn there was a "Tim" that was mentioned. So me and this Greg guy are standing near the bar and after he mentions what a shame it is about all the people that passed, we had a conversation similar to the scene in Midnight Run when Charles Grodin pretends to be an FBI agent in the redneck bar with the bartender when Grodin gives a description of the alleged suspect. My conversation basically went like this:

Greg: they were all great people, I really miss Brad, he was my neighbor growing up.

Me: Yeah, for me, I miss Tim the most.

Greg: Tim? I think you mean Tom, right?

Me: No, Tim.

Greg: I don't think there was a Tim in our class, but there was a Tom who passed away 10 years ago.

Me: Short guy, right?

Greg: No, he was like 6 foot 3.

Me: Red hair?

Greg: No, black hair.

Me: Yeah, that sounds like Tim.

Awkward silence for a minute while Greg looks totally confused.

Me: (friendly punches Greg in the arm) Ok, Glenn I'll catch up with you later.

Greg: My name is Greg.

Me: I know. (wink and finger-thumb gunshot while I walk away)

Me and my golf buddy finally left and as we're walking out a few of the class members said good bye to me and one said to me "now don't be a stranger" I replied, "I promise I won't. See you all at the 50th!"

I may start crashing class reunions on a regular basis now. That was a fun time.

Also, there was some cooking show on and the guy said "chowder". I said he sounded like Thorn. Mrs. SLB got a sly smile on her face. #### you Thorn.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh, I almost forgot about this 16 year old waitress I was flirting with. For the record, I pretty much stopped flirting when she told me she was 16. While I was standing in the hallway waiting to use the men's room, I was texting one of my buddies and she walked by and said "hhmmm....looks like you're pretty good with your fingers". I was speechless and more than a little aroused, but I kept teling myself that she was younger than my niece. For entertainment value I was thinking about telling her to text me a picture of herself, but I was going to give her Homer's number instead of mine. But then I thought Homer might have a heart attack if he got a random text from a number he didn't know with a pic of a 16 year old. I was looking out for your health Homer. You're welcome.

If only she were your sister. /arkansas