GM's thread about nothing (41 Viewers)

[strykerpks]

Merry Christmas. I'm Catholic so if you don't like my salutation, eat a bag of ****. How very Christian of me.

At any rate, I read this thread daily. I've met some of you, I will meet many of you and I hope to meet the rest of you. I just want to say thank you. This thread has become a nice escape and a refuge.

I wish everyone here a happy Wednesday and a happy Thursday. Because Jesus would like it that way.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Merry Christmas. I'm Catholic so if you don't like my salutation, eat a bag of ****. How very Christian of me.

At any rate, I read this thread daily. I've met some of you, I will meet many of you and I hope to meet the rest of you. I just want to say thank you. This thread has become a nice escape and a refuge.

I wish everyone here a happy Wednesday and a happy Thursday. Because Jesus would like it that way.

Jesus wanted me to take off work. Mrs. SLB having to work is just a bonus.

Of course Santa brought Dylan a pancake maker. I've never heard of such a waste of money in my life. I have a pancake maker, it's called a pan.

So on our way home from my GB's after my A&U's...

Dylan: OH YEAH!! I'm going home and playing my guitar! (making guitar noises) worRrosooRww

Me: Not tonight, we'll set it up tomorrow.

Dylan: Okay, but tomorrow morning I'm firing up my pancake maker and making pancakes!

Me: Not without me there you're not.

Dylan: What?!! Why?!!

Calvin: Because you're only 6. I'll fire it up.

Me: NO!! Nobody fires up anything without an adult around! I have an idea, everybody be really quiet.

 

[Abraham]

I got my wife a waffle zoo. It's a waffle maker that makes waffles in the shapes of zoo animals. She and the kid will love that. And I will get some waffles.

 

[strykerpks]

Love you Bob!

Charles got a drum set from his uncle. I got his uncle a bottle of Korbel. I think he wins. It's all in good fun because as a 25 year old I was dumb and got their son something that made noise. Now they're paying me back.

I don't mind the drums. I have a somewhat ####ty family (not as bad as many here) but I acutally think it's pretty cool that they're returning the favor. I get it.

2 family Christmas's in a row where my family hasn't argued. It's a Festivus Miracle!!!! Until the next "Airing of grievances"

 

[strykerpks]

My wife wants to send a message to "Birth to 3" which is a group that helps with child development.

He's knocking on 16 months and isn't walking yet. He can do a few steps on his own but for the most part, he crawls because it is easiest for him.

I told my wife, 'He'll walk when he's good and ready".

She said "Maybe we need a professional"

Krista, you got a room for me near SEATAC?

 

[Thorn]

Merry Christmas. I'm Catholic so if you don't like my salutation, eat a bag of ****. How very Christian of me.

At any rate, I read this thread daily. I've met some of you, I will meet many of you and I hope to meet the rest of you. I just want to say thank you. This thread has become a nice escape and a refuge.

I wish everyone here a happy Wednesday and a happy Thursday. Because Jesus would like it that way.

definitely drunk

 

[shuke]

Alien Mac & Cheese

Sweet Jesus

 

[shuke]

What a fun morning! Hit a ####### deer just after leaving for dinner with my family. Of course - horse shoe up my ### that I have - it was right before an exit and I was able to limp my way to a truck stop. Air bags came out, which was fun with a cigaratte in my mouth (hint: they don't taste good lit). Cop showed up - I think he was more pissed that the deer got away than that he was on call on the 24th He had me do a field sobriety test, but wasn't even paying attention - I passed. I recently joined AAA and they had someone there to tow my truck in about 20 friggin minutes. EMTs arrived at some point & wanted to take me to the hospital, but I declined - no injuries (other than the partially ingested cig and the air bags punching my lungs through the BACK OF MY ####### CHEST). The AAA guy said at the time I should have my truck back by Thursday (!) - hood & grill ####ed up and whoever he worked for had/located both. Thank God no one was hurt, other than that poor deer. Cop drove me home.

They just called and said they'd have my truck done today! WTF? They are bringing it over by 4 o'clock!!!!

Glad you're okay. I've hit a couple but wasn't going that fast. The near miss going 75 still haunts me, though.

 

[shuke]

Congrats to Thorn and Bogart.

As promised, here's a shot video. Nothing special, just recognizing greatness.

ETA Yes I quit chewing and had a chew the size of Montana in. Sue me.

Wish you would have done this video yesterday. Think the XL shirt I put in you Secret Santa is not gonna fit.

 

[Tecumseh]

G'Dammit.

Spoiler

Wife had a few cocktails while we were at her parents, and decided to have a few more when we got home. Earlier today, my daughter (she's 11) received a game called Disney Infinity from Santa along with another game, Lego Marvel Superheroes. The wife is outside tossing back some wine, so my daughter is playing her Marvel game. Wife comes in, very tipsy, and tells daughter that she has to play Infinity because it was expensive, and she wants her to play it. Daughter immediately asks how wife knows it's expensive since Santa brought it. "Because we talk," is the reply.

Fast forward a few minutes later; daughter goes into our bedroom. Wife wrapped the Santa presents last night, and left the Santa paper laying on the floor.

Daughter: Why is the Santa's wrapping paper in your room?

Me: Uh, because he always leaves the extra behind.

This seems to placate daughter.

Fast forward again; wife goes to bed, I'm playing MW3, daughter is silently watching.

Daughter: Daddy, do you promise that Santa is real?

Now, I goof off with her quite a bit, and make up stories, but we have an agreement that if I promise something, it has to be the truth.

Me: No, honey, I won't promise that Santa is real.

Daughter breaks down in tears.

Me (Trying to calm her): Honey, I'm sorry. Honestly, we thought you knew, since you already knew about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny...

Daughter: THE EASTER BUNNY'S NOT REAL?!?!?!

Me:

 

[shuke]

Think we're going to a gay cowboy bar for dinner.

Just like Jesus did

 

[shuke]

Frosty package arrived!!

HFS, thanks so much GB!! Not pictured is a set of 1993-1994 football cards and a couple of adult movies.

Of course my favorite is the mommy porn book. Mrs. SLB said she hasn't read it yet. This will be my favorite gift of 2013. I love you.

There are TWO (2) Mommy porn books. And I thought Cal might enjoy the nerd D&D book thing. Merry X-Mas.

Mrs. SLB left the books out on the counter. I mean why wouldn't she. My Mom picks one up and reads the cover out loud "The Billionaire that makes her do anything". Ohhh she says. I bet your Dad would like me to read this! Then she cracks it open and starts reading for about 30 seconds. Closes it, whatever.

Then 20 minutes later she's ready to leave. I mean really ready to go apparently. My Dad is like WTF then he kind of got his chair really far from the table with a big smile on his face like "I get it now". FML

Was she offended, or so horny she had to leave? Either way, sorry, I think.

 

[shuke]

Heading up to hospital. My grandfather (not the one I ratted on about his pills, but my stepmom's dad) was just admitted to CCU. They found a brain tumor during a scan this evening.

I'm starting to feel like SLB.

This is now the fifth Christmas in a row we have had a family medical issue or death in the family. #### this holiday.

####, sorry.

 

[Guster]

G'Dammit.

Spoiler

Wife had a few cocktails while we were at her parents, and decided to have a few more when we got home. Earlier today, my daughter (she's 11) received a game called Disney Infinity from Santa along with another game, Lego Marvel Superheroes. The wife is outside tossing back some wine, so my daughter is playing her Marvel game. Wife comes in, very tipsy, and tells daughter that she has to play Infinity because it was expensive, and she wants her to play it. Daughter immediately asks how wife knows it's expensive since Santa brought it. "Because we talk," is the reply.

Fast forward a few minutes later; daughter goes into our bedroom. Wife wrapped the Santa presents last night, and left the Santa paper laying on the floor.

Daughter: Why is the Santa's wrapping paper in your room?

Me: Uh, because he always leaves the extra behind.

This seems to placate daughter.

Fast forward again; wife goes to bed, I'm playing MW3, daughter is silently watching.

Daughter: Daddy, do you promise that Santa is real?

Now, I goof off with her quite a bit, and make up stories, but we have an agreement that if I promise something, it has to be the truth.

Me: No, honey, I won't promise that Santa is real.

Daughter breaks down in tears.

Me (Trying to calm her): Honey, I'm sorry. Honestly, we thought you knew, since you already knew about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny...

Daughter: THE EASTER BUNNY'S NOT REAL?!?!?!

Me:

Probably doing her a favor. My daughter is 7 and already getting suspicious.

Have the response of "do you really want to question whether a fat man in a red suit gives you presents every year" all queued up if the line of questioning gets too much

Oh, but I was smart enough to hide the paper that Santa used to wrap her presents... Of course I didn't know it was the same paper her mom had gotten at Target to wrap normal presents

 

[shuke]

Shuke - hope you get some help for your bobble head addiction

Transformation complete.

 

[Guster]

Time to call it a night. My daughter goes to bed at 9 usually... She was up til 11 tonight. Pretty sure I need to pawn her off on the ex's parents for a bit tomorrow so my dad and I can drink more bourbon and play more cribbage

 

[Guster]

Shuke - hope you get some help for your bobble head addiction

Transformation complete.

so good

 

[shuke]

Toast to the winners!

Rules

 

[cosjobs]

Time to call it a night. My daughter goes to bed at 9 usually... She was up til 11 tonight. Pretty sure I need to pawn her off on the ex's parents for a bit tomorrow so my dad and I can drink more bourbon and play more cribbage

Is your father in Boston?

I need someone to take me to Trader Joe's to load up on booze before I take them out to dinner Thursday night.

 

[shuke]

This is where she's been for two hours.

http://tinypic.com/r/24yz5ms/5

All the hassle really is worth it when you see the excitement in the kids' faces. We were afraid we were going to have to have the talk with my son just a few weeks ago. I actually almost told him because I thought he was fishing for it and it seemed it was putting him into a situation where he was getting picked on on the bus. But I didn't. And so glad. My wife was in tears last night as the kids watched these videos I "made", just seeing how excited they were.

 

[shuke]

And Merry Christmas to all of you!

 

[shuke]

What's a good Stephen King book from the last 15 years? Not counting any of the Dark Tower books.

11/23/1963 by far the best.
Hearts in Atlantis (although it's really an extension of Dark Tower series).
Black House (written with Peter Straub).
Dreamcatcher was okay.

Why are you limiting yourself to the last 15 years? I actually had to look this up, but the last three books I listed were all pre-2002 but still technically in your time frame.

 

[shuke]

I told my Dad to tell my Mom to buy the boys clothes. That I'm not just being a cheap *******, but they would really appreciate it. It's either they are growing so damn fast or just plain destroying them.

At my parents they both opened up packs of new socks and were SO excited. Cal immediately took the socks he wearing off and put them on. "YES!!!" It reminded me of my FIL and how during the war he said all he ever wanted was a clean pair of socks & a warm place to sleep.

I put a brick in the box with Cal's new iPod to be tricky. It was the last thing he opened and before that, he hadn't gotten a thing he asked for. He wasn't sad about it though, just had a big smile on his face when he lugged the box from behind the tree. That made me as proud as could be. I wish I would have videotaped it because he was so happy. That and Dylan says "hey, there's a brick in here. I wonder Santa wants us to do with it? ".

I bought that Rocksmith system for Dylan because he's been talking about wanting to play the guitar for months. He can't wait to get it fired up. Me too.

The boys declared this the greatest Christmas ever. That makes me happy.

to all of this.

 

[T Bell]

G'Dammit.

Spoiler

Wife had a few cocktails while we were at her parents, and decided to have a few more when we got home. Earlier today, my daughter (she's 11) received a game called Disney Infinity from Santa along with another game, Lego Marvel Superheroes. The wife is outside tossing back some wine, so my daughter is playing her Marvel game. Wife comes in, very tipsy, and tells daughter that she has to play Infinity because it was expensive, and she wants her to play it. Daughter immediately asks how wife knows it's expensive since Santa brought it. "Because we talk," is the reply.

Fast forward a few minutes later; daughter goes into our bedroom. Wife wrapped the Santa presents last night, and left the Santa paper laying on the floor.

Daughter: Why is the Santa's wrapping paper in your room?

Me: Uh, because he always leaves the extra behind.

This seems to placate daughter.

Fast forward again; wife goes to bed, I'm playing MW3, daughter is silently watching.

Daughter: Daddy, do you promise that Santa is real?

Now, I goof off with her quite a bit, and make up stories, but we have an agreement that if I promise something, it has to be the truth.

Me: No, honey, I won't promise that Santa is real.

Daughter breaks down in tears.

Me (Trying to calm her): Honey, I'm sorry. Honestly, we thought you knew, since you already knew about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny...

Daughter: THE EASTER BUNNY'S NOT REAL?!?!?!

Me:

I'm sorry to laugh, but...

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Merry Xmas Jim tanners!!

 

[kevzilla]

Shuke - hope you get some help for your bobble head addiction

Transformation complete.

so good

I love you, bobble-shuke.

 

[Guster]

Time to call it a night. My daughter goes to bed at 9 usually... She was up til 11 tonight. Pretty sure I need to pawn her off on the ex's parents for a bit tomorrow so my dad and I can drink more bourbon and play more cribbage

Is your father in Boston?

I need someone to take me to Trader Joe's to load up on booze before I take them out to dinner Thursday night.

No, 90+ minutes north of Boston

 

[Ignoramus]

That and Dylan says "hey, there's a brick in here. I wonder Santa wants us to do with it? ".

I laughed out loud.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

What's a good Stephen King book from the last 15 years? Not counting any of the Dark Tower books.

11/23/1963 by far the best.

Hearts in Atlantis (although it's really an extension of Dark Tower series).

Black House (written with Peter Straub).

Dreamcatcher was okay.

Why are you limiting yourself to the last 15 years? I actually had to look this up, but the last three books I listed were all pre-2002 but still technically in your time frame.

Read Joe Hill's stuff instead, imo

 

[Sweet J]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

 

[Tiger Fan]

What a fun morning! Hit a ####### deer just after leaving for dinner with my family. Of course - horse shoe up my ### that I have - it was right before an exit and I was able to limp my way to a truck stop. Air bags came out, which was fun with a cigaratte in my mouth (hint: they don't taste good lit). Cop showed up - I think he was more pissed that the deer got away than that he was on call on the 24th He had me do a field sobriety test, but wasn't even paying attention - I passed. I recently joined AAA and they had someone there to tow my truck in about 20 friggin minutes. EMTs arrived at some point & wanted to take me to the hospital, but I declined - no injuries (other than the partially ingested cig and the air bags punching my lungs through the BACK OF MY ####### CHEST). The AAA guy said at the time I should have my truck back by Thursday (!) - hood & grill ####ed up and whoever he worked for had/located both. Thank God no one was hurt, other than that poor deer. Cop drove me home.

They just called and said they'd have my truck done today! WTF? They are bringing it over by 4 o'clock!!!!

Glad you're okay. I've hit a couple but wasn't going that fast. The near miss going 75 still haunts me, though.

Growing up in the city we never got exposed to this at all. In college, there were a few deers around; but I was never driving lost distances where they were. When we moved to Atlanta, I drove to up to Ashville to see a concert and was driving back at 2AM and had that "deer in headlights" moment for the first time ever. Scare the ever living crap out of me. Was probably going around 85 or so. I swirved really quick to miss it, but I was only inches away from something bad

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

I don't know if you call it dating. But you don't need to be dating.

You need to be doing this.

 

[-fish-]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

older divorced women like sex. that's pretty much how it works.

now imagine you didn't live in the basement of the same house as your ex-wife.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

Just don't bring her home or show her where you live.

 

[Abraham]

Reply "I hope you don't say that to everyone, slut." See how she responds...need to get a barometer of her craziness before moving forward. K?

 

[strykerpks]

Pretty sure the day after Christmas should be a national holiday too

 

[strykerpks]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

Yes, have some

 

[Guster]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

What's going on is that you're going to get laid. Bring your creativity. Try anything that comes to mind because this chick will let you try it. Anything at all. Congrats GB. Just don't knock her up

 

[Gadzooks]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

Well done. Your next move is to give me your sister's number.

 

[Guster]

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

I don't know if you call it dating. But you don't need to be dating. You need to be doing this.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

older divorced women like sex. that's pretty much how it works.now imagine you didn't live in the basement of the same house as your ex-wife.

This is your time.

Live it up.

Post about it on :e:

Don't worry about love and settling down, there's plenty of time for that

And remember to ask Zooks for cream recommendations

 

[Tiger Fan]

GET SOME

 

[Tiger Fan]

Got an issue. We had a party last night and now have too much ice in the house

 

[T Bell]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

What is this? This is what it is.

 

[T Bell]

I don't know if you call it dating. But you don't need to be dating.

You need to be doing this.

I basically had this kind of "relationship" for about 10 months after my separation. Damn it was needed.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Sweet j. Go to freak town. Do not pass go. You have the golden ticket.

Get a hotel room have the sechs at the beginning of your date.

 

[T Bell]

What's going on is that you're going to get laid. Bring your creativity. Try anything that comes to mind because this chick will let you try it. Anything at all. Congrats GB. Just don't knock her up

This.

This is the sort of chick that likes to be video'd...

 

[Sweet J]

What's going on is that you're going to get laid. Bring your creativity. Try anything that comes to mind because this chick will let you try it. Anything at all. Congrats GB. Just don't knock her up

This.

This is the sort of chick that likes to be video'd...

Yes, I can imagine.

I think I'm going to have to move.

 

[Limp Ditka]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

older divorced women like sex. that's pretty much how it works.

now imagine you didn't live in the basement of the same house as your ex-wife.

she may get off on it.

 

[T Bell]

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

older divorced women like sex. that's pretty much how it works.

now imagine you didn't live in the basement of the same house as your ex-wife.

she may get off on it.

Probably true, but completely unnecessary.

The one problem with a chick this batty is that she's going to tell all about her adventures to her (mutual) friend, and stuff might drift back to STB-ex-wife.

 

[YSR]

Bonertime!