GM's thread about nothing (23 Viewers)

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Do Sweet J's kids have any pets he needs to be worried about?

 

[T Bell]

SJ, you're less than an hour from getting a nude pic if you keep text flirting. Play coy and say you have no idea what "everything" means. Keep the ball in the air.

Also, put your phone on vibrate as long as you're living in the basement.

 

[shuke]

Got an issue. We had a party last night and now have too much ice in the house

If only you had some bags to put it in.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

G'Dammit.

Spoiler

Wife had a few cocktails while we were at her parents, and decided to have a few more when we got home. Earlier today, my daughter (she's 11) received a game called Disney Infinity from Santa along with another game, Lego Marvel Superheroes. The wife is outside tossing back some wine, so my daughter is playing her Marvel game. Wife comes in, very tipsy, and tells daughter that she has to play Infinity because it was expensive, and she wants her to play it. Daughter immediately asks how wife knows it's expensive since Santa brought it. "Because we talk," is the reply.

Fast forward a few minutes later; daughter goes into our bedroom. Wife wrapped the Santa presents last night, and left the Santa paper laying on the floor.

Daughter: Why is the Santa's wrapping paper in your room?

Me: Uh, because he always leaves the extra behind.

This seems to placate daughter.

Fast forward again; wife goes to bed, I'm playing MW3, daughter is silently watching.

Daughter: Daddy, do you promise that Santa is real?

Now, I goof off with her quite a bit, and make up stories, but we have an agreement that if I promise something, it has to be the truth.

Me: No, honey, I won't promise that Santa is real.

Daughter breaks down in tears.

Me (Trying to calm her): Honey, I'm sorry. Honestly, we thought you knew, since you already knew about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny...

Daughter: THE EASTER BUNNY'S NOT REAL?!?!?!

Me:

:(

Frosty package arrived!!

HFS, thanks so much GB!! Not pictured is a set of 1993-1994 football cards and a couple of adult movies.

Of course my favorite is the mommy porn book. Mrs. SLB said she hasn't read it yet. This will be my favorite gift of 2013. I love you.

There are TWO (2) Mommy porn books. And I thought Cal might enjoy the nerd D&D book thing. Merry X-Mas.

Mrs. SLB left the books out on the counter. I mean why wouldn't she. My Mom picks one up and reads the cover out loud "The Billionaire that makes her do anything". Ohhh she says. I bet your Dad would like me to read this! Then she cracks it open and starts reading for about 30 seconds. Closes it, whatever.

Then 20 minutes later she's ready to leave. I mean really ready to go apparently. My Dad is like WTF then he kind of got his chair really far from the table with a big smile on his face like "I get it now". FML

Was she offended, or so horny she had to leave? Either way, sorry, I think.

Horny. She's quite the perv. At least she used to be. She has mellowed out some in her old age.

I guess I should update.

1) I'm sending out my secret santa today. I know I suck. Sorry GB.

2) So I texted the hot blond chick from Saturday night (crazy eyes). The texts went like this (word for word)

SJ: Hi crazy eyes, this is Jason. From the party Saturday night. [Friend] gave me your number. I enjoyed meeting you. I'd love to do it again, if you are interested.

Blond [2 minutes later]: Of course I'd love to see you again silly! Thanks for much for getting in touch. I think you are great!

Blond [1 minute after that]: Oops, was I supposed to wait longer than 30 seconds to respond?

SJ: You are hilarious.

Blond: I'm not very good at playing hard to get.

SJ [taking a bit of a risk]: you around this weekend?

Blond: I'm in SC visiting my parents for Christmas. But if I were free, what would you do with me.

SJ: hmmm. . . that's a bit of a loaded question. . .

Blond: oops. Two strikes.

Blond: I hope you are smiling.

SJ: Absolutely. Two gold stars.

SJ [taking another risk]: What would you have me do with you?

Blond: going for a bike ride with my dad. . . text you later?

SJ: Sure. Have fun!

Blond [and hour later]: The answer, sweet [my name], is that I would have you do everything with me.

Blond: Everything.

So. . .

I just.

I mean. . .

This is good, right?

Is this how dating works now?

What the hell is going on?

I hate you and I'm happy for you all at the same time.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I have to admit I was wrong about the pancake maker too. It performs quite well and makes it easier to make perfect pancakes.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

SJ, you're less than an hour from getting a nude pic if you keep text flirting. Play coy and say you have no idea what "everything" means. Keep the ball in the air.

Also, put your phone on vibrate as long as you're living in the basement.

 

[General Malaise]

What kind of money awaits me if I pursue a career in a Neil Diamond cover band?

 

[T Bell]

What kind of money awaits me if I pursue a career in a Neil Diamond cover band?

It's probably lucrative given that you look just like him.

 

[General Malaise]

What kind of money awaits me if I pursue a career in a Neil Diamond cover band?

It's probably lucrative given that you look just like him.

Hmmmmm

 

[Osaurus]

Call your band Heartlight and have everyone wear ET masks

 

[shuke]

What kind of money awaits me if I pursue a career in a Neil Diamond cover band?

It's probably lucrative given that you look just like him.

I don't know why but

 

[Limp Ditka]

Call your band Heartlight and have everyone wear ET masks

 

[kevzilla]

"I'm pale, I said...."

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Car
We've been travelling by car
So close to home
It's really not that far

Free
Ok, cheap, but not free
With my loyalty card
I really save some cheese

On the boats and on the planes
They're shopping at the Rite-Aid
Never go to Safeway again
They're shopping at the Rite-Aid

 

[General Malaise]

Car

We've been travelling by car

So close to home

It's really not that far

Free

Ok, cheap, but not free

With my loyalty card

I really save some cheese

On the boats and on the planes

They're shopping at the Rite-Aid

Never go to Safeway again

They're shopping at the Rite-Aid

 

[Homer J Simpson]

G'Dammit.

Spoiler

Wife had a few cocktails while we were at her parents, and decided to have a few more when we got home. Earlier today, my daughter (she's 11) received a game called Disney Infinity from Santa along with another game, Lego Marvel Superheroes. The wife is outside tossing back some wine, so my daughter is playing her Marvel game. Wife comes in, very tipsy, and tells daughter that she has to play Infinity because it was expensive, and she wants her to play it. Daughter immediately asks how wife knows it's expensive since Santa brought it. "Because we talk," is the reply.

Fast forward a few minutes later; daughter goes into our bedroom. Wife wrapped the Santa presents last night, and left the Santa paper laying on the floor.

Daughter: Why is the Santa's wrapping paper in your room?

Me: Uh, because he always leaves the extra behind.

This seems to placate daughter.

Fast forward again; wife goes to bed, I'm playing MW3, daughter is silently watching.

Daughter: Daddy, do you promise that Santa is real?

Now, I goof off with her quite a bit, and make up stories, but we have an agreement that if I promise something, it has to be the truth.

Me: No, honey, I won't promise that Santa is real.

Daughter breaks down in tears.

Me (Trying to calm her): Honey, I'm sorry. Honestly, we thought you knew, since you already knew about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny...

Daughter: THE EASTER BUNNY'S NOT REAL?!?!?!

Me:

X 1000

 

[Homer J Simpson]

What's a good Stephen King book from the last 15 years? Not counting any of the Dark Tower books.

11/23/1963 by far the best.

Hearts in Atlantis (although it's really an extension of Dark Tower series).

Black House (written with Peter Straub).

Dreamcatcher was okay.

Why are you limiting yourself to the last 15 years? I actually had to look this up, but the last three books I listed were all pre-2002 but still technically in your time frame.

Because I read everything up til the late 90's. I tore through most of Dr Sleep last night...good stuff so far.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Good work, Sweet J.

 

[Abraham]

First half of dream catcher is excellent writing. Second half is annoying story.

 

[Abraham]

And his four part short story thing from a couple years ago (all dark, no stars I think was the name) is terrible.

 

[General Malaise]

Last book I read by Stephen King was "Desperation". I liked it up until he slayed the bad guys with God. Again. Ugh.

 

[Guster]

Last book I read by Stephen King was "Desperation". I liked it up until he slayed the bad guys with God. Again. Ugh.

Stephen King paid for my ex-wife's college (actually true)

 

[Plorfu]

Sweet J, make sure you don't have casual sex with that woman. Making love is for procreation within the bonds of marriage only. And even then you should feel slightly ashamed afterwards.

 

[General Malaise]

Last book I read by Stephen King was "Desperation". I liked it up until he slayed the bad guys with God. Again. Ugh.

Stephen King paid for my ex-wife's college (actually true)

How's he feel about picking up my wife's student loans?

 

[Guster]

Sweet J, make sure you don't have casual sex with that woman. Making love is for procreation within the bonds of marriage only. And even then you should feel slightly ashamed afterwards.

Mom, Dad... is that you??

 

[Guster]

Last book I read by Stephen King was "Desperation". I liked it up until he slayed the bad guys with God. Again. Ugh.

Stephen King paid for my ex-wife's college (actually true)

How's he feel about picking up my wife's student loans?

 

[[icon]]

Alien Mac & Cheese

oh and mixing up a batch of Puerto Rican Coquito. This #### is insanely good. Beats egg nog IMO.

Boil the pasta for 20 minutes??

Yeah that was a typo apparently. I went with 5 mins since the thing was going to be in the smoker for 90 minutes. Was the appropriate amount of time.

oh and mixing up a batch of Puerto Rican Coquito. This #### is insanely good. Beats egg nog IMO.

Not enough cans

Doubled the recipe. Worked out perfect as Yellow #2 mixed up a single batch as well.

Btw, American Hustle is really good.

3rd person who's told me this in the last 2 days. WTF.

Alien Mac & Cheese

Sweet Jesus

Mix in something other than cheddar in place of some of the cheddar. Nix the Cheddar Cheese soup. Dare I say it was a little TOO cheddar-y. Oh and double the meat. I did and was glad I did. I'd also double the green onions next time. Otherwise it was ridiculously good. Tons of compliments on it at the christmas feast.

Murry Chrimmas

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Guster, shuke and largely inspired by Krista4's refusal to grow roots, I applied for a job as in-house counsel for Macy's in Cinci. Slap it high?

 

[Plorfu]

Guster, shuke and largely inspired by Krista4's refusal to grow roots, I applied for a job as in-house counsel for Macy's in Cinci. Slap it high?

Don't let them talk you into their silly little "chili" thing.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Btw, American Hustle is really good.

3rd person who's told me this in the last 2 days. WTF.

I didn't realize me posting something in this 3355-page thread was considered a direct message to you.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Btw, American Hustle is really good.

3rd person who's told me this in the last 2 days. WTF.

I didn't realize me posting something in this 3355-page thread was considered a direct message to you.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

URG, what up?

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Guster, shuke and largely inspired by Krista4's refusal to grow roots, I applied for a job as in-house counsel for Macy's in Cinci. Slap it high?

Don't let them talk you into their silly little "chili" thing.

I've been there and tried it. No thanks.

 

[[icon]]

Btw, American Hustle is really good.

3rd person who's told me this in the last 2 days. WTF.

I didn't realize me posting something in this 3355-page thread was considered a direct message to you.

it's the principalities

 

[General Malaise]

URG, what up?

2nd largest shareholder wrote a glowing piece in Seeking Alpha. You want it?

 

[kevzilla]

URG, what up?

2nd largest shareholder wrote a glowing piece in Seeking Alpha. You want it?

Pump and dump? Kinda like what Sweet J should be doing?

 

[General Malaise]

URG, what up?

2nd largest shareholder wrote a glowing piece in Seeking Alpha. You want it?

Pump and dump? Kinda like what Sweet J should be doing?

Could be a pump and dump, though this thing has been dumped more than Jennifer Anniston over the years, so the downside risk is pretty minimal.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I hope you're all on our BG Falcons tonight.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I hope you're all on our BG Falcons tonight.

I'd be on the Al-Qaeda Tower Bombers if they were playing Pissburgh.

 

[Abraham]

Beer is open.

 

[General Malaise]

I'm on Pitt. You BG backers are safe.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I don't bet much CFB, but I have Utah St. today. They're also Mormons, right?

Happy Kwanzaa, GMTAN'ers. I hope you all received a multitude of ##### of various shapes, sizes, and veiny-ness in your stocking.

 

[mr. furley]

Got an issue. We had a party last night and now have too much ice in the house

If only you had some bags to put it in.

lol

 

[Mr.Pack]

Shuke - hope you get some help for your bobble head addiction

Transformation complete.

Awesome

 

[mr. furley]

Guster, shuke and largely inspired by Krista4's refusal to grow roots, I applied for a job as in-house counsel for Macy's in Cinci. Slap it high?

Don't let them talk you into their silly little "chili" thing.

cincinnati chili is bullshot

 

[Tiger Fan]

Got an issue. We had a party last night and now have too much ice in the house

If only you had some bags to put it in.

lol

i should have been clearer. i have too many full ice bags. i cant just let them melt, right?

 

[General Malaise]

Got an issue. We had a party last night and now have too much ice in the house

If only you had some bags to put it in.

lol

i should have been clearer. i have too many full ice bags. i cant just let them melt, right?

Start drinking, Xerces.....

 

[General Malaise]

Guster, shuke and largely inspired by Krista4's refusal to grow roots, I applied for a job as in-house counsel for Macy's in Cinci. Slap it high?

Don't let them talk you into their silly little "chili" thing.

cincinnati chili is bullshot

Do they put mushrooms in it?

 

[Ignoramus]

Guster, shuke and largely inspired by Krista4's refusal to grow roots, I applied for a job as in-house counsel for Macy's in Cinci. Slap it high?

Don't let them talk you into their silly little "chili" thing.

cincinnati chili is bullshot

Do they put mushrooms in it?

Worse. Cinommin! (sp?)

 

[Frostillicus]

I don't bet much CFB, but I have Utah St. today. They're also Mormons, right?

Happy Kwanzaa, GMTAN'ers. I hope you all received a multitude of ##### of various shapes, sizes, and veiny-ness in your stocking.

Logan isn't as mormony as salt lake or Provo, but they still have their share.