GM's thread about nothing (70 Viewers)

[Homer J Simpson]

I took a ambien and it was really har to type on my phone.

This post made me har.

 

[General Malaise]

Kev, we have the money line???

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My wife just told me that I can't respond to group texts from her family if I'm going to treat it like my message board.

your wife just gave you a time out.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Commence final episode of Breaking Bad....NOW!

We're on season 3,episode 11 I believe. It's a fine show but I have to wonder if the writers get a "flashback" bonus or something.

Whore mouth. Shut yours.

 

[Ignoramus]

Tannerporn

(Mostly just playing with my new camera. If you zoom in on the reflection in the eyes you can see me with the camera as well as the television in the background.)

 

[General Malaise]

I ate just half of my pasta dish. I feel like I'm pregnant with kegs. Hard to understand why America is so fat.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Commence final episode of Breaking Bad....NOW!

We're on season 3,episode 11 I believe. It's a fine show but I have to wonder if the writers get a "flashback" bonus or something.

Oh and you're right at the point where the show goes from "great" to "holy f###ing #### this is awesome!"

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Tannerporn

(Mostly just playing with my new camera. If you zoom in on the reflection in the eyes you can see me with the camera as well as the television in the background.)

Yeah I commented on your FB post. Got one just like him.

 

[Mr.Pack]

My wife boiled a pot of water and made me throw it in the air outside to test the theory that it would flash freeze into snow. It didn't, like I said it wouldn't (not cold enough) and I burned my hand.

I did this today. Ruled.

Did it work? Most of the water I didn't dump on my hand fell to the ground as water. Some turned into steam.

My brother did this today, his wife videoed it, it was pretty cool!

 

[Frostillicus]

Rachel vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off Season 3 started tonight. Vanilla Ice is a contestant. Within the first 30 seconds he told Herschel Walker "I cook MCs like a pound of bacon." I am deliriously happy right now.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Related...

The original Trailer Park Boys kitty clip. NSFW language.

 

[GroveDiesel]

My wife just told me that I can't respond to group texts from her family if I'm going to treat it like my message board.

From now on, just reply with /unsubscribe

That will get you out of group texts.

 

[mr roboto]

My wife just told me that I can't respond to group texts from her family if I'm going to treat it like my message board.

From now on, just reply with /unsubscribeThat will get you out of group texts.

I may do this.

 

[Annyong]

i used to like group texts before having kids when i could stay up all night drinking.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My wife just told me that I can't respond to group texts from her family if I'm going to treat it like my message board.

From now on, just reply with /unsubscribeThat will get you out of group texts.

I may do this.

Or just reply to every text, regardless of the subject, with "Ask the kid to point to his weiner." They'll stop including you.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Some random dude is stealing GMTAN shtick

 

[YSR]

ATTN: YSR/OBGYN

Women who drank a glass of wine a week while pregnant had children who were more well adjusted than women who didnt drink at all, says a new study.

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2014/01/04/study-moms-who-drink-wine-while-pregnant-have-better-behaved-kids/

A WEEK??

 

[Tecumseh]

Commence final episode of Breaking Bad....NOW!

Wow. What a great show.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Commence final episode of Breaking Bad....NOW!

We're on season 3,episode 11 I believe. It's a fine show but I have to wonder if the writers get a "flashback" bonus or something.

Oh and you're right at the point where the show goes from "great" to "holy f###ing #### this is awesome!"

Watching episode 1 of Season 4 now and I'm all Ambiened up. #######it.

 

[kevzilla]

Kev, we have the money line???

:highfive:

 

[bentley]

Home from roller skating party. Way too much actual roller skating and too little drinking for my tastes. Have a feeling that I will be sore in the morning.

Luckily I have booze at our committee meeting tomorrow night. And I just found out that we have suite tickets to the Symphony on Friday. Not only do I get a steak dinner and free booze out of the deal, but I get my annual cultural requirement out of the way two weeks into the year. It's all tailgates and monster truck rallies from here.

 

[bentley]

Commence final episode of Breaking Bad....NOW!

Wow. What a great show.

Yes.

:tvboner:

 

[-fish-]

ATTN: YSR/OBGYN

Women who drank a glass of wine a week while pregnant had children who were more well adjusted than women who didnt drink at all, says a new study.

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2014/01/04/study-moms-who-drink-wine-while-pregnant-have-better-behaved-kids/

My brother is an OB/gyn. He also encourages up to one glass of wine a week. Then again he also married two lesbians.

 

[Frostillicus]

ATTN: YSR/OBGYN

Women who drank a glass of wine a week while pregnant had children who were more well adjusted than women who didnt drink at all, says a new study.

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2014/01/04/study-moms-who-drink-wine-while-pregnant-have-better-behaved-kids/

My brother is an OB/gyn. He also encourages up to one glass of wine a week. Then again he also married two lesbians.

At the same time?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

ATTN: YSR/OBGYN

Women who drank a glass of wine a week while pregnant had children who were more well adjusted than women who didnt drink at all, says a new study.

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2014/01/04/study-moms-who-drink-wine-while-pregnant-have-better-behaved-kids/

My brother is an OB/gyn. He also encourages up to one glass of wine a week. Then again he also married two lesbians.

This cracks me up. That's like knowing how to rebuild an engine but not knowing how to drive.

 

[mr roboto]

It's probably because he comes home and starts talking about ######s.

 

[-fish-]

This whole story was told earlier in this thread. He just went to mediation and gave lesbian #2 a condo in San Diego

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

It's probably because he comes home and starts talking about ######s.

I wonder if either one of his wives liked to sniff his hands when he came home from work.

 

[kevzilla]

I ate at Kerry Simon's burger place today. I hope Mr. Krista won't have me drawn and quartered.

Good news! Neither of us had ever heard of him. Just looked him up and Mr. krista said, "Looks like a #####, but what do I know."

How was the burger?

He's one of those celebrity chefs. Won on Iron Chef at the age of 24 and has been dining out on it (ahem) ever since.The burger was fine, but the Cap'n Crunch milkshake was awesome, like drinking your childhood.

I looked him up and he's 58. I'm sure Iron Chef didn't exist when he was 24.

OK, looked him up again. He lost on Iron Chef in 2001 but won on Iron Chef America in 2005.

That milkshake sounds awesome.

Clearly, my facts are disordered, counselor. I plead Bacardi.

 

[Frostillicus]

This whole story was told earlier in this thread. He just went to mediation and gave lesbian #2 a condo in San Diego

Yeah I tend to not really remember much of what I read in here. Especially after 10 pm.

9pm. Maybe 8.

 

[General Malaise]

It's probably because he comes home and starts talking about ######s.

I wonder if either one of his wives liked to sniff his hands when he came home from work.

 

[Frostillicus]

It's probably because he comes home and starts talking about ######s.

I wonder if either one of his wives liked to sniff his hands when he came home from work.

GM your box is full. So if you find it convenient to head to the outlet store I'm ready to pay. Can send more movies as well.

 

[krista4]

I ate at Kerry Simon's burger place today. I hope Mr. Krista won't have me drawn and quartered.

Good news! Neither of us had ever heard of him. Just looked him up and Mr. krista said, "Looks like a #####, but what do I know."

How was the burger?

He's one of those celebrity chefs. Won on Iron Chef at the age of 24 and has been dining out on it (ahem) ever since.The burger was fine, but the Cap'n Crunch milkshake was awesome, like drinking your childhood.

I looked him up and he's 58. I'm sure Iron Chef didn't exist when he was 24.

OK, looked him up again. He lost on Iron Chef in 2001 but won on Iron Chef America in 2005.

That milkshake sounds awesome.

Clearly, my facts are disordered, counselor. I plead Bacardi.

Why not Flor de Cana?

 

[kevzilla]

I hate gambling

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Good game of the footballs tonight. Sorry Kev.

 

[shuke]

I got some good news last night in that after some negotiating, my parents offer on the house close to us was accepted. So barring anything crazy coming up from the inspection, they finally found a place. It's a single story house that's 3 BR,3 bath and 3073 square feet. I think the master bed and bathroom are bigger than my first house. It's freaking gorgeous. Frosty, wait until you see this kitchen.

Of course it's bitter sweet in that they'll be moving from the house that I still think of as "home" since 78. Lots of memories and masturbating.

And that's just Mom..

 

[Tiger Fan]

Sorry FDAS. Had big money on our tigers

 

[shuke]

"Layed off from work and nothing to do so cold outside so I put my AC DC MIRROR 2whether."

what?

 

[shuke]

I do have to say that while the stories in the prostitute thread are cracking me up they're also making me cringe a lot.

When I come out to visit Bakersfield, can we go to the strip clubs?

Sure...just to warn you they're full nude but don't serve booze. 100% serious.

God, Bakersfield is terrible.

Oh to be clear that is a California state law. If it is topless they can serve drinks. Full nude = no booze. At least that's what I understand.

BYOB?

 

[mr roboto]

Where did you grow up Krista?

 

[shuke]

Then when I get home, I notice the plow came by again and covered the end of my driveway with snow. Again. MOTHER####ERS!!!

This pretty much happens to everyone.

 

[shuke]

My wife just told me that I can't respond to group texts from her family if I'm going to treat it like my message board.

 

[krista4]

Where did you grow up Krista?

Why? Did I say something weird?

 

[T Bell]

Guy buys animatronic band from pizza place, programs it to perform 'Pop, Lock and Drop It'

 

[T Bell]

I'm just going to stop trying to defend my hometown.

This broad got her picture on the front page for dropping the first frog of 2014.

Mother of first baby of 2014 also a felon at large By THE BAKERSFIELD CALIFORNIANFor Robin Faye Howard, the pain didn’t end with childbirth.

Mother of Bakersfield’s first baby of 2014, Howard was arrested Jan. 2 on an outstanding warrant in connection with selling methamphetamine. She’s spent the past three days in custody, separated from her 6-day-old daughter, Addison.

There's more but I'm not an online subscriber.

Was she trying to name her daughter "Addiction" and just couldn't spell?

 

[T Bell]

I HATE group texts. My MIL likes to group text like people use Facebook or twitter. One today to all the kids and spouses...

MIL: After sitting at O'Hare all day, flight finally canceled! Flying out of Midway tomorrow.

BIL1: Bummer!

SIL1: Sorry to hear that!

And so on, like 7-8 responses more, then this...

BIL2: This should cheer you up mom! (Posts video of his 1 year old son pointing to body parts 'Where's your... EYE?' *kid points to eye*. 'Where's your... EAR?' *kid points to ear*)

mr roboto: Ask the kid to point to his weiner.

SIL2 (kids mom): Stop it! He's one!

20 minutes of silence

mr roboto: I'm pretty sure he's got his wiener by one year old.

 

[T Bell]

ATTN: YSR/OBGYN

Women who drank a glass of wine a week while pregnant had children who were more well adjusted than women who didnt drink at all, says a new study.

http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2014/01/04/study-moms-who-drink-wine-while-pregnant-have-better-behaved-kids/

A WEEK??

That's like the alcoholic version of blue balls right there.

 

[T Bell]

I do have to say that while the stories in the prostitute thread are cracking me up they're also making me cringe a lot.

When I come out to visit Bakersfield, can we go to the strip clubs?

Sure...just to warn you they're full nude but don't serve booze. 100% serious.

God, Bakersfield is terrible.

Oh to be clear that is a California state law. If it is topless they can serve drinks. Full nude = no booze. At least that's what I understand.

BYOB?

It's Bob with an extra Y chromosome.

 

[UniAlias]

Guy buys animatronic band from pizza place, programs it to perform 'Pop, Lock and Drop It'

This is awesome.

 

[mr roboto]

Where did you grow up Krista?

Why? Did I say something weird?

No. I'm just trying to understand how a successful woman like yourself has that many redneck people from their home town.