GM's thread about nothing (47 Viewers)

[Henry Ford]

Although the fact that it's in Detroit does seem a little dirty.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Isn't living in Detroit like getting your mouth farted into 20 times a day?

 

[General Malaise]

Leaving without comment.

Oh holy hell...

#detroitnasty

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Only person who thinks this?

Walter white went on too long?

Yes. He had a plan, but he should've died the night he went out for diapers and ended up in a bar drinking with Jane's dad.

It didn't end well.

In the Fly episode, that's when Walter said would've been the perfect time for him to die. That night.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Isn't living in Detroit like getting your mouth farted into 20 times a day?

I think it's rated at like 13. For reference, Gary is like 19. Youngstown is an 8.5. Pittsburgh is a 4 or 5, but during football season it jumps up to about 57. That's a lotta mouthfarts.

 

[Henry Ford]

Isn't living in Detroit like getting your mouth farted into 20 times a day?

That used to be the city motto, but having new signs printed up after vandalism was getting too expensive.

Now it's just "Detroit - Mouth Shart Capital"

 

[T Bell]

I think that fart-eater's up to something.

 

[Frostillicus]

Rewatching through Breaking Bad and so many little touches from the city that I'm loving since I visited there. But really just posting this because I just rewatched Season 4 episode 11. So good. (crawl space)

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Rewatching through Breaking Bad and so many little touches from the city that I'm loving since I visited there. But really just posting this because I just rewatched Season 4 episode 11. So good. (crawl space)

There was a little bit of tension in that one, as I recall. Perhaps some high drama as well.

 

[Frostillicus]

Rewatching through Breaking Bad and so many little touches from the city that I'm loving since I visited there. But really just posting this because I just rewatched Season 4 episode 11. So good. (crawl space)

There was a little bit of tension in that one, as I recall. Perhaps some high drama as well.

They get food from a place called Blake's Lotaburger in a few episodes. I ate there. It's cool.

 

[T Bell]

Rewatching through Breaking Bad and so many little touches from the city that I'm loving since I visited there. But really just posting this because I just rewatched Season 4 episode 11. So good. (crawl space)

There was a little bit of tension in that one, as I recall. Perhaps some high drama as well.

They get food from a place called Blake's Lotaburger in a few episodes. I ate there. It's cool.

So, what- ABQ's your Graceland now?

 

[heckmanm]

Page 2 save

Also Mitch Hedberg jokes (K4 posted to FB)

 

[T Bell]

Page 2 save

Also Mitch Hedberg jokes (K4 posted to FB)

I read that last night before I went to bed. All 25whatever of them. All of them are funny. And of course I'm imagining his voice and cadence on each one.

 

[Tiger Fan]

People really watch that "How I Met Your Mother" goat-screw of a show?

was good at the beginning. i had to see it out

 

[Gadzooks]

I just tickled a female co-worker.

She was standing in the mail room with her back to me and she was yawning and stretching with both arms straight up in the air. I don't know why, but for some reason I immediately tickled her under both arm pits. I have no idea what compelled me to do that. She immediately screamed which turned into a laugh and then she just stared at me with an incredulous look on her face. After 5 seconds of awkward silence, I sheepishly said "April Fools?" She said "that was seriously the strangest thing anyone has ever done to me at work" and then she walked away. I've always found maturity to be overrated.

 

[Ignoramus]

Page 2 save

Also Mitch Hedberg jokes (K4 posted to FB)

I read that last night before I went to bed. All 25whatever of them. All of them are funny. And of course I'm imagining his voice and cadence on each one.

Damn, nine years already.

 

[T Bell]

I just tickled a female co-worker.

She was standing in the mail room with her back to me and she was yawning and stretching with both arms straight up in the air. I don't know why, but for some reason I immediately tickled her under both arm pits. I have no idea what compelled me to do that. She immediately screamed which turned into a laugh and then she just stared at me with an incredulous look on her face. After 5 seconds of awkward silence, I sheepishly said "April Fools?" She said "that was seriously the strangest thing anyone has ever done to me at work" and then she walked away. I've always found maturity to be overrated.

I can't wait for your update on the HR meeting on this one.

 

[Henry Ford]

People really watch that "How I Met Your Mother" goat-screw of a show?

was good at the beginning. i had to see it out

Ted Mosby should be hit in the face with a truck.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

People really watch that "How I Met Your Mother" goat-screw of a show?

was good at the beginning. i had to see it out

Ted Mosby should be hit in the face with a truck.

 

[Gadzooks]

I just tickled a female co-worker.

She was standing in the mail room with her back to me and she was yawning and stretching with both arms straight up in the air. I don't know why, but for some reason I immediately tickled her under both arm pits. I have no idea what compelled me to do that. She immediately screamed which turned into a laugh and then she just stared at me with an incredulous look on her face. After 5 seconds of awkward silence, I sheepishly said "April Fools?" She said "that was seriously the strangest thing anyone has ever done to me at work" and then she walked away. I've always found maturity to be overrated.

I can't wait for your update on the HR meeting on this one.

If necessary I'll use the George Costanza defense:

MR. LIPPMAN: I'm going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?

GEORGE: Who said that?

MR. LIPPMAN: She did.

GEORGE: Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frouned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you peope do that all the time.

 

[Ignoramus]

At work we have those Flavia coffee machines where you choose from about 20 different flavors and roasts and it makes it by the cup. This morning someone put a sign on it that says "Now Voice Activated" with the Flavia logo to make it look all official and whatnot. I've been telling everyone who asks that it works pretty well, but the voice sensor is a little weak so you have to kind of yell into it.

 

[Annyong]

I'm gonna put some chunky peanut butter in a diaper and tell my gf I think something's wrong here. After taking a sniff, I'll stick my fingers in it and check the consistency before giving it a taste. This should get me out of the doghouse for being too drunk to go to Target with her and the boys last night.

Full disclosure, idea stolen from reddit.

 

[Sweet J]

At work we have those Flavia coffee machines where you choose from about 20 different flavors and roasts and it makes it by the cup. This morning someone put a sign on it that says "Now Voice Activated" with the Flavia logo to make it look all official and whatnot. I've been telling everyone who asks that it works pretty well, but the voice sensor is a little weak so you have to kind of yell into it.

 

[-fish-]

For April Fool's, Roverkid filled all of my dress shoes with yogurt.

 

[Henry Ford]

People really watch that "How I Met Your Mother" goat-screw of a show?

was good at the beginning. i had to see it out

Ted Mosby should be hit in the face with a truck.

That guy's awful.

 

[Henry Ford]

For April Fool's, Roverkid filled all of my dress shoes with yogurt.

Haha! Bet you thought you had shoes! April fools!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

People really watch that "How I Met Your Mother" goat-screw of a show?

was good at the beginning. i had to see it out

I'm inclined to not believe this.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I just tickled a female co-worker.

She was standing in the mail room with her back to me and she was yawning and stretching with both arms straight up in the air. I don't know why, but for some reason I immediately tickled her under both arm pits. I have no idea what compelled me to do that. She immediately screamed which turned into a laugh and then she just stared at me with an incredulous look on her face. After 5 seconds of awkward silence, I sheepishly said "April Fools?" She said "that was seriously the strangest thing anyone has ever done to me at work" and then she walked away. I've always found maturity to be overrated.

I would have replied with "challenge accepted"

 

[Henry Ford]

People really watch that "How I Met Your Mother" goat-screw of a show?

was good at the beginning. i had to see it out

I'm inclined to not believe this.

The heyday was when one of the characters was revealed to have a secret tape out there. The friends all assumed she'd been in porn. Instead, it turns out that as a teenager, she was famous for this:

Humor

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

People really watch that "How I Met Your Mother" goat-screw of a show?

was good at the beginning. i had to see it out

I'm inclined to not believe this.

The heyday was when one of the characters was revealed to have a secret tape out there. The friends all assumed she'd been in porn. Instead, it turns out that as a teenager, she was famous for this:

Humor

I think we need to redefine "heyday".

 

[Henry Ford]

They also slapped each other a lot.

 

[Annyong]

How did it end?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

How did it end?

Doogie Howser said something sexist to that girl who shoved a trumpet up her cooze in America Pie.

 

[UniAlias]

For April Fool's, Roverkid filled all of my dress shoes with yogurt.

Kids sound neat.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Newsflash: One of my female students just got sent home for wearing this inappropriate outfit.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

zooks> Need more on the visual. Age? Hot? Cup size? Marital status? Etc..

Funny regardless.

 

[BobbyLayne]

CTO is across the hall from me. Usually works offsite mornings at the co-lo where our gear is or from home monitoring the Support center remotely. Comes in around lunchtime for CEO face-time and to manage Operations.

Everyday he comes in and starts blasting his tunes. The only people in this wing of the office are the CEO and a couple VPs. For some reason they don't say anything - maybe the sound just carries more to my office.

I don't want to be a richard but WTF I'm either in heavy concentration mode or on a call. It's not like we're working on a loading dock (no disrespect to any union members).

What's the shark move? I mean, yeah, just confront him and ask nicely, but JFC really? Like it's not common sense to keep your music low enough so as to not disturb others?

/

ETA: amiright? Is this just a boomer/millennial thing?

 

[Gadzooks]

zooks> Need more on the visual. Age? Hot? Cup size? Marital status? Etc..

Funny regardless.

I'm guessing late 30's. Not very hot, she's a runner so she's thin but not "hot", I think my cup size might be bigger than hers and she is going thru a divorce and seems to like having people pay attention to her. I'm actually thinking my tickle attack probably flattered her. I think the only person she told about the incident is our elderly receptionist so I keep walking by the receptionist and waving all of my fingers at her in a sorta creepy way and say "the tickle monster is coming for you Sylvia". She giggles and gives me jelly beans.

 

[Gadzooks]

CTO is across the hall from me. Usually works offsite mornings at the co-lo where our gear is or from home monitoring the Support center remotely. Comes in around lunchtime for CEO face-time and to manage Operations.

Everyday he comes in and starts blasting his tunes. The only people in this wing of the office are the CEO and a couple VPs. For some reason they don't say anything - maybe the sound just carries more to my office.

I don't want to be a richard but WTF I'm either in heavy concentration mode or on a call. It's not like we're working on a loading dock (no disrespect to any union members).

What's the shark move? I mean, yeah, just confront him and ask nicely, but JFC really? Like it's not common sense to keep your music low enough so as to not disturb others?

/

ETA: amiright? Is this just a boomer/millennial thing?

Two words: Tickle Attack

 

[T Bell]

At work we have those Flavia coffee machines where you choose from about 20 different flavors and roasts and it makes it by the cup. This morning someone put a sign on it that says "Now Voice Activated" with the Flavia logo to make it look all official and whatnot. I've been telling everyone who asks that it works pretty well, but the voice sensor is a little weak so you have to kind of yell into it.

That is ####### brilliant shtick!

 

[Henry Ford]

zooks> Need more on the visual. Age? Hot? Cup size? Marital status? Etc..

Funny regardless.

I'm guessing late 30's. Not very hot, she's a runner so she's thin but not "hot", I think my cup size might be bigger than hers and she is going thru a divorce and seems to like having people pay attention to her. I'm actually thinking my tickle attack probably flattered her. I think the only person she told about the incident is our elderly receptionist so I keep walking by the receptionist and waving all of my fingers at her in a sorta creepy way and say "the tickle monster is coming for you Sylvia". She giggles and gives me jelly beans.

That just made me actually laugh out loud.

 

[T Bell]

CTO is across the hall from me. Usually works offsite mornings at the co-lo where our gear is or from home monitoring the Support center remotely. Comes in around lunchtime for CEO face-time and to manage Operations.

Everyday he comes in and starts blasting his tunes. The only people in this wing of the office are the CEO and a couple VPs. For some reason they don't say anything - maybe the sound just carries more to my office.

I don't want to be a richard but WTF I'm either in heavy concentration mode or on a call. It's not like we're working on a loading dock (no disrespect to any union members).

What's the shark move? I mean, yeah, just confront him and ask nicely, but JFC really? Like it's not common sense to keep your music low enough so as to not disturb others?

/

ETA: amiright? Is this just a boomer/millennial thing?

Get off my decibels!

 

[BobbyLayne]

At work we have those Flavia coffee machines where you choose from about 20 different flavors and roasts and it makes it by the cup. This morning someone put a sign on it that says "Now Voice Activated" with the Flavia logo to make it look all official and whatnot. I've been telling everyone who asks that it works pretty well, but the voice sensor is a little weak so you have to kind of yell into it.

That is ####### brilliant shtick!

Did this with the copiers last year. Put it on official full color Toshiba letterhead.

The voice activation has the ability to learn commands, so at first you may need to repeat 4-5 times. Here are some commands to try...

 

[T Bell]

Newsflash: One of my female students just got sent home for wearing this inappropriate outfit.

She seems overdressed to me.

 

[BobbyLayne]

CTO is across the hall from me. Usually works offsite mornings at the co-lo where our gear is or from home monitoring the Support center remotely. Comes in around lunchtime for CEO face-time and to manage Operations.

Everyday he comes in and starts blasting his tunes. The only people in this wing of the office are the CEO and a couple VPs. For some reason they don't say anything - maybe the sound just carries more to my office.

I don't want to be a richard but WTF I'm either in heavy concentration mode or on a call. It's not like we're working on a loading dock (no disrespect to any union members).

What's the shark move? I mean, yeah, just confront him and ask nicely, but JFC really? Like it's not common sense to keep your music low enough so as to not disturb others?

/

ETA: amiright? Is this just a boomer/millennial thing?

Two words: Tickle Attack

Going to hit the feather store during lunch (NYC has a specialty store for everything).

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Page 2 save

Also Mitch Hedberg jokes (K4 posted to FB)

Looks like he dug through Steven Wright's trash for his leftovers.

 

[Henry Ford]

My senior partner just tried to explain to me that he wants me to "digitally enhance" a satellite photograph, like they do on TV all the time.

He thinks my statement that there's no such thing is an April Fool's joke. He's getting quite angry.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Latest headline on Deadspin

Fingerblasting Is Spring Break's Most Delicious TrendI'm going to be let down by this, aren't I?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

"Finger Blasted" makes me laugh almost every time I hear/read it.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Newsflash: One of my female students just got sent home for wearing this inappropriate outfit.