GM's thread about nothing (15 Viewers)

[bentley]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

 

[Henry Ford]

He's big. Dog sized. I did that thing from the movies where you are supposed to make yourself look as big as you can. I stood up really tall, puffed out my chest, with a cigar and scotch in one hand, and a big citronella candle in the other, and roared. He just sat on the garbage can and looked at me. Not a flinch.

If you tried a candle, a tricycle, baby poop, a scotch, and a cigar and he's still there you should probably just give him the keys and leave.

 

[Otis]

My wife is being really helpful, by laughing at me and taking pics.

Hey, for $30k I know a guy that can re-do that side yard.

I did one better and just sold the damn house. Someone else's problem now

 

[-fish-]

seattle gamblinghole was fun. couldn't stay, but had a blast.

 

[strykerpks]

My condolences to you and your family UH. And to you Tecumseh as well.

 

[Josie Maran]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

 

[Josie Maran]

I'm in the middle of a battle with a raccoon. He's totally not scared of me. I fought him off with a candle and a tricycle. Now he's just waiting in the shadows for me to leave my yard. I decline.

Raccoons hate onions. Stick half an onion in an old sock and carry that with you and he'll head in the other direction.

I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time...

 

[bentley]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

That's not very nice, GBPJ.

AngryWife and JR each got 3. Considering that AngryWife and I at 11' 10" and 290 lbs between us, I don't know how we managed to produce the world's biggest 5 year old.

 

[Frostillicus]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

That's not very nice, GBPJ.

AngryWife and JR each got 3. Considering that AngryWife and I at 11' 10" and 290 lbs between us, I don't know how we managed to produce the world's biggest 5 year old.

Probably when you put your dingdong inside her hoo ha.

 

[Josie Maran]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

That's not very nice, GBPJ.AngryWife and JR each got 3. Considering that AngryWife and I at 11' 10" and 290 lbs between us, I don't know how we managed to produce the world's biggest 5 year old.

Probably when you put your dingdong inside her hoo ha.

Wait, THAT'S how it works?!?!?

 

[bentley]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

That's not very nice, GBPJ.AngryWife and JR each got 3. Considering that AngryWife and I at 11' 10" and 290 lbs between us, I don't know how we managed to produce the world's biggest 5 year old.

Probably when you put your dingdong inside her hoo ha.

As far as our boys are concerned, babies are made when daddy goes into a room with a plastic cup and watches a video where a naughty real estate agent shows a guy a house in every way, then passes the results through a metal window to a medical tech and then mommy goes into a room with an army of medical professionals including a doctor with a turkey baster and then nine months later a baby comes out. And also daddy writes a check for $15K before the whole process starts.

 

[Frostillicus]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

That's not very nice, GBPJ.AngryWife and JR each got 3. Considering that AngryWife and I at 11' 10" and 290 lbs between us, I don't know how we managed to produce the world's biggest 5 year old.

Probably when you put your dingdong inside her hoo ha.

As far as our boys are concerned, babies are made when daddy goes into a room with a plastic cup and watches a video where a naughty real estate agent shows a guy a house in every way, then passes the results through a metal window to a medical tech and then mommy goes into a room with an army of medical professionals including a doctor with a turkey baster and then nine months later a baby comes out. And also daddy writes a check for $15K before the whole process starts.

So I was wrong. Sue me.

 

[Josie Maran]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

That's not very nice, GBPJ.AngryWife and JR each got 3. Considering that AngryWife and I at 11' 10" and 290 lbs between us, I don't know how we managed to produce the world's biggest 5 year old.

Probably when you put your dingdong inside her hoo ha.

As far as our boys are concerned, babies are made when daddy goes into a room with a plastic cup and watches a video where a naughty real estate agent shows a guy a house in every way, then passes the results through a metal window to a medical tech and then mommy goes into a room with an army of medical professionals including a doctor with a turkey baster and then nine months later a baby comes out. And also daddy writes a check for $15K before the whole process starts.

Look at you, Mr Romantic.

 

[Josie Maran]

Looking forward to updates from Krista's cornhole.

 

[Henry Ford]

Just remember that rabies shots really suck. Trust me.

Do they stick them in my pen1s or something?

Upper thigh. And the number you get varies by weight. I needed 4. YMMV.

So the kids each needed 6?

That's not very nice, GBPJ.AngryWife and JR each got 3. Considering that AngryWife and I at 11' 10" and 290 lbs between us, I don't know how we managed to produce the world's biggest 5 year old.

Probably when you put your dingdong inside her hoo ha.

As far as our boys are concerned, babies are made when daddy goes into a room with a plastic cup and watches a video where a naughty real estate agent shows a guy a house in every way, then passes the results through a metal window to a medical tech and then mommy goes into a room with an army of medical professionals including a doctor with a turkey baster and then nine months later a baby comes out. And also daddy writes a check for $15K before the whole process starts.

Just as God intended.

 

[bentley]

I really need somebody to buy my house soon. It's a huge pain in the ### to keep this place looking like nobody lives here with 2 boys around. Having to clear out on an hour's notice when someone wants to do a showing is also inconvenient.

 

[-fish-]

Looking forward to updates from Krista's cornhole.

Many drinks had; much money lost

 

[strykerpks]

Looking forward to updates from Krista's cornhole.

Many drinks had; much money lost

Should probably just bump this around July 14th

 

[Bucky86]

My dog's on Instagram.

 

[Bucky86]

I really need somebody to buy my house soon. It's a huge pain in the ### to keep this place looking like nobody lives here with 2 boys around. Having to clear out on an hour's notice when someone wants to do a showing is also inconvenient.

Agree

 

[krista4]

Looking forward to updates from Krista's cornhole.

Many drinks had; much money lost

Hey, I finished up $28!

Very mellow day; nothing crazy. Went with a smaller group (GM and friend, Britney Spears and wife, 'ninja, and Mr krista) to dinner after. Also mellow, and then we all pooped out and went home. Fantastic group; in addition to the dinner crew, at Emerald Downs we had fish and fishdaughter, Redmond Longhorn and Redmond wife. Not a single person that I wouldn't gladly hang out with any time. But nothing really scandalous or crazy to report. Mr krista did insist at dinner that Brit looked just like a guy who knows who's a murderer, but I'm sure he gets that all the time?

 

[DA RAIDERS]

My wife today asked me "why are they called two-by-fours?"

just yesterday my 7 year old daughter and I went to lowes. We needed some 2x4's. She asked me what they were. I busted out the tape measure and showed her. Then we went ahead and stepped it up a notch and got some 2"x6"x10'

 

[DA RAIDERS]

My MIL's insanity is driving me nuts. She'd better get qualified for disability soon and be able to get her own place.

Example 1: She refuses to drink my tap water even though I run it all through a Brita filter. Instead, she insists that we buy bottled water. Most of which I end up paying for "because she has no income". Not only that, but she leaves half full water bottles all over the house (and then usually tries to blame my 5 year old even though she's had like 1 bottle of water over the last 3 months).

Why won't she drink the Brita water? Because the filter I had in it was passed its time that it was "supposed" to be replaced by. Now, a Brita filter is just a bunch of charcoal inside of a piece of plastic basically. A few weeks or even a couple of months isn't going to make a difference. But she swore that it tasted bad and that she couldn't drink it.

So I decided to run a little experiment. I got a new filter and soaked it in some water like it says you should do. I made sure that she could see it. When she was gone, I threw it out and pretended that I had switched the filters.

She now is raving about how she can drink the Brita water now and how much better it tastes. On and on about how sensitive her taste buds are and how she can really tell. How she knows I can't tell the difference, but she definitely can.

Also, she insists on filling up the ice cube tray with water from the Brita pitcher. When she's not watching I fill it with tap water. Not a single complaint at all.

So tired of that kind of crap. She practically threw a fit at the grocery store when I insisted that I was buying the store brand instant oats instead of the more expensive name brand. It's freaking oatmeal! The constant stream of complaining, negativity and selfishness is slowly driving me insane. And now that it appears my wife and I both have mono, it's not like I can even get out of the house a lot to avoid her.

/blowsout

tldr version: I secretly tricked my insane MIL into thinking I switched the water filter and she can't stop raving about how much better it is.

You MUST tell her about the filter bit. Get video if possible

Not a chance. She already has sever trust issues straying into mentally ill levels. If I told her the truth, the future nightmare scenarios that would inevitably result would not be worth the satisfaction of proving a point.

It would to me.

Me as well....

 

[DA RAIDERS]

He's big. Dog sized. I did that thing from the movies where you are supposed to make yourself look as big as you can. I stood up really tall, puffed out my chest, with a cigar and scotch in one hand, and a big citronella candle in the other, and roared. He just sat on the garbage can and looked at me. Not a flinch.

Air rifle time.

Not a gun guy, imo. I have Dark Side of the Moon playing on my laptop. Maybe that is a factor here.

Wd40, or better yet, wasp killer with the 20-30 foot spray. Drinking, you have this part covered.

Lighter.

Amusement.

Triumph!!

Tired. Satisfied.

Go to bed.

Unknown defeat.

Wake up, hung over

Go outside

Raccoon has had his way with you

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Wife and daughter are at the in laws. I'm sitting outside on my awesome new pavers drinking a beer, relishing the awesome nights sleep that I'm going to have in 30 minutes or so. And even better, I get tomorrow to do more of the same.

Bob!

BOC update! randomly had a bottle of brown liquor fall into my hands tonight. It's going in the box. Can't stand the stuff. My goal(caveat, I'm lazy) is to send it on Monday.

 

[YSR]

I chipped a tooth last night. It's a bottom, front one and no one would ever be able to see it but my tongue keeps finding it and it's driving me absolutely bananas.

 

[krista4]

Forgot to mention that not only did GM pay for everyone's dinner ( ), when we left the waitress exclaimed, "Thank you for the generous tip, Mr. Portland!" The rest of us considered ourselves good tippers but none had ever had someone say something like that. GM's the bestest.

 

[proninja]

Forgot to mention that not only did GM pay for everyone's dinner ( ), when we left the waitress exclaimed, "Thank you for the generous tip, Mr. Portland!" The rest of us considered ourselves good tippers but none had ever had someone say something like that. GM's the bestest.

I was going to add that to your summary, but then thought perhaps I should read on. Thanks GM.

 

[proninja]

I want to know what happened with Otis and the raccoon.

 

[Otis]

This booking.com commercial kills me every time.

His shoes.

 

[guru_007]

Netherlands +115

go orange

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

OH HOLY COW (nsfw audio)

 

[YSR]

I want to kiss the inventor of the BLT on the mouth.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I want to kiss the inventor of the BLT on the mouth.

I invented the BLT. Also the open mouth kiss.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Wife and daughter are at the in laws. I'm sitting outside on my awesome new pavers drinking a beer, relishing the awesome nights sleep that I'm going to have in 30 minutes or so. And even better, I get tomorrow to do more of the same.

Bob!

BOC update! randomly had a bottle of brown liquor fall into my hands tonight. It's going in the box. Can't stand the stuff. My goal(caveat, I'm lazy) is to send it on Monday.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I want to know what happened with Otis and the raccoon.

The ship sinks and they spend the next three months in a life boat together.

 

[Celph Titled]

Booked flights to Seattle for my daughter and I.

Monday, August 4 - Saturday, August 9

Gotta read back through this thread at the suggestions and figure out the itinerary to squeeze in some time in Canada too

My link.

 

[guru_007]

Netherlands +115

go orange

never a doubt

 

[guru_007]

All over Greece in the second game

+201 to win (small)

+105 to advance

-144 pk/+0.5

 

[heckmanm]

Boudin Noir is very tasty, but looks unsettlingly like Schnitzengruben on the plate

 

[Mr.Pack]

I want to kiss the inventor of the BLT on the mouth.

Have never had one.

 

[Henry Ford]

I want to kiss the inventor of the BLT on the mouth.

Have never had one.

Don't joke about something that important.

 

[General Malaise]

Thank you so much for joining me yesterday, Seattle people. It meant a lot to me that you made the effort and the camaraderie is sure to be a lasting one. Cheers!

 

[bostonfred]

I want to kiss the inventor of the BLT on the mouth.

Have never had one.

its like a bacon cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato, but without the cheeseburger.

 

[-fish-]

Thank you so much for joining me yesterday, Seattle people. It meant a lot to me that you made the effort and the camaraderie is sure to be a lasting one. Cheers!

Had a great time...even roverkid enjoyed meeting everyone.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Last night Dylan asked me what is what like to be me. I just rubbed his head, smiled, and said it was time for bed soon. There wasn't enough time. Today on our walk Calvin says "It's really hard being you dad isn't it? What is it like?" I put my arm around him and replied "you and your brother make it a lot less hard son".

I'm glad they got the perception gene from me. Probably why I've been a superior poker player my whole life.

 

[krista4]

Thank you so much for joining me yesterday, Seattle people. It meant a lot to me that you made the effort and the camaraderie is sure to be a lasting one. Cheers!

Had a great time...even roverkid enjoyed meeting everyone.

She is awesome. She's adorably cute but you could see there was always a lot going on in her brain, too.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

This booking.com commercial kills me every time.

His shoes.

Pretty realistic. You'll find out soon enough.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Last night Dylan asked me what is what like to be me. I just rubbed his head, smiled, and said it was time for bed soon. There wasn't enough time. Today on our walk Calvin says "It's really hard being you dad isn't it? What is it like?" I put my arm around him and replied "you and your brother make it a lot less hard son".

I'm glad they got the perception gene from me. Probably why I've been a superior poker player my whole life.

That's a joke. Sort of. Wish I could have been at the track with GM and watch him work.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

We're all mojito fans in here right?