GM's thread about nothing (16 Viewers)

[Frostillicus]

I need an IP lawyer. I think my semiconductor company has stumbled on to something valuable.

My brother is an ip lawyer.

 

[YSR]

Seems to be a lot of anger in here tonight.

 

[YSR]

We are interviewing catsitters. One of them asked the names of our cats. I replied.

Argonaut: 11-year-old male. Goes by Argo, Args, Argonuts, Mr. Awesome, Senor Awesome, The Argo, El Argo, Senor Nuts, Mr. Orange, Senor Orange, etc.

Tinktinktinktinktink - 5-year-old female. Goes by Tinkers, Tinkerbell, Tinkerbelly, Lil' Belly, T5, Space Cat, T5 the Space Cat the Space Cat from Outer Space, Hai Cat, The Cat of Hai, El Gato del Hai, Panther, She is Like Panther

Rocket the Squirrel - 3-4 year-old male. Goes by Squirrel, Squirrely, Esquirrel, Ooooooooo, Mr. Esquirrel the Mystery Squirrel, Greater North American Pocketless Flying Squirrel

Chance - 1 year-old male. Goes by Dumb Face, Squib, Squibs, Squibbles, Squib-e-de-doo, They Call Me Mr. Squib, Squibbety-Da-Da-Dow!

I suspect we are going to have to pay more.

That sounds completely normal.

YSR and Tanner will support me here.

Nothing wrong with this.

 

[YSR]

I have an idea that I've been meaning to get a patent on for years. I'm scared my inherent laziness is going to cost me millions.

 

[YSR]

I have an idea that I've been meaning to get a patent on for years. I'm scared my inherent laziness is going to cost me millions.

Crap. Patent filed in September 2012.

 

[heckmanm]

We are interviewing catsitters. One of them asked the names of our cats. I replied.

Argonaut: 11-year-old male. Goes by Argo, Args, Argonuts, Mr. Awesome, Senor Awesome, The Argo, El Argo, Senor Nuts, Mr. Orange, Senor Orange, etc.

Tinktinktinktinktink - 5-year-old female. Goes by Tinkers, Tinkerbell, Tinkerbelly, Lil' Belly, T5, Space Cat, T5 the Space Cat the Space Cat from Outer Space, Hai Cat, The Cat of Hai, El Gato del Hai, Panther, She is Like Panther

Rocket the Squirrel - 3-4 year-old male. Goes by Squirrel, Squirrely, Esquirrel, Ooooooooo, Mr. Esquirrel the Mystery Squirrel, Greater North American Pocketless Flying Squirrel

Chance - 1 year-old male. Goes by Dumb Face, Squib, Squibs, Squibbles, Squib-e-de-doo, They Call Me Mr. Squib, Squibbety-Da-Da-Dow!

I suspect we are going to have to pay more.

 

[Abraham]

I need an IP lawyer. I think my semiconductor company has stumbled on to something valuable.

My brother is an ip lawyer.

Care to pm his contact info so I can talk to him next week?

 

[mr. furley]

I nearly passed out after watching this I was laughing so hard.

HFS

Right after the explosion, for a second it looks like the guy is totally blown up and gone, like something out of Loony Toons

EXACTLY

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Cats need sitters? Fill up a tub with cat food, leave the door open a crack, come back in a week. They'll be fine. Worst case they go all "Thunderdome/Lord of the Flies" and a couple of the weaker ones get eaten. How bad could it be when you got back?

Fade in...

Tinkerwhatsherface(now in full war paint): "I HAVE THE SHELL, CRETINS!! ONLY I MAY SPEAK! DUMB FACE WAS DELICIOUS!"

Other Cats: *barely look up. Go back to sleeping in the sunbeam*

Fade to black...

See? They're fine.

 

[YSR]

Leeroy, have they scheduled you guys yet?

 

[krista4]

Cats need sitters? Fill up a tub with cat food, leave the door open a crack, come back in a week. They'll be fine. Worst case they go all "Thunderdome/Lord of the Flies" and a couple of the weaker ones get eaten. How bad could it be when you got back?

Fade in...

Tinkerwhatsherface(now in full war paint): "I HAVE THE SHELL, CRETINS!! ONLY I MAY SPEAK! DUMB FACE WAS DELICIOUS!"

Other Cats: *barely look up. Go back to sleeping in the sunbeam*

Fade to black...

See? They're fine.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Leeroy, have they scheduled you guys yet?

Thanks for asking.

So we are scheduled for 745am on 7/16. We might try to push it to Monday 7/14 if it becomes available.

The caveat is she goes for an ultrasound to check her fluid today. If it has gone down since last week, it will be today. I've convinced myself that it won't be though .....

 

[krista4]

Leeroy, have they scheduled you guys yet?

Thanks for asking. So we are scheduled for 745am on 7/16. We might try to push it to Monday 7/14 if it becomes available.

The caveat is she goes for an ultrasound to check her fluid today. If it has gone down since last week, it will be today. I've convinced myself that it won't be though .....

Wow, good luck today!

 

[Abraham]

So two other new salespeople started when I did. One of them is very short and looks like a duck and is unbelievably annoying. He's a nice person, just very bubbly in a way that only women and gay men should be. This morning his cell phone rang with the sweet sweet sounds of K4's favorite song, "Happy." I will now go pour hot coffee in to my ears.

 

[Ignoramus]

I really like the jam box

I've got the big one. Love it.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I really like the jam box

I've got the big one. Love it.

Braggart

 

[Josie Maran]

So two other new salespeople started when I did. One of them is very short and looks like a duck and is unbelievably annoying. He's a nice person, just very bubbly in a way that only women and gay men should be. This morning his cell phone rang with the sweet sweet sounds of K4's favorite song, "Happy." I will now go pour hot coffee in to my ears.

Still haven't heard it.

 

[Ignoramus]

Bought a 3 pack of cantaloupe today. Can't wait to dig in.

Sooo.....they, like, shrink wrapped three separate cantaloupes together?

Exactly. Like all the other shrink wrapped fruit you see on the shelves.

Target does this. So gay.

 

[Ignoramus]

Fake.

 

[Ignoramus]

I'm guessing a lot of you don't like the Dead, but I could listen to

I'm with Tanner.

 

[YSR]

Leeroy, have they scheduled you guys yet?

Thanks for asking.

So we are scheduled for 745am on 7/16. We might try to push it to Monday 7/14 if it becomes available.

The caveat is she goes for an ultrasound to check her fluid today. If it has gone down since last week, it will be today. I've convinced myself that it won't be though .....

Whoa. Good luck!

 

[Ignoramus]

Bought a 3 pack of cantaloupe today. Can't wait to dig in.

Sooo.....they, like, shrink wrapped three separate cantaloupes together?

Exactly. Like all the other shrink wrapped fruit you see on the shelves.

I'm envisioning three, whole cantaloupes shrunk wrapped together. Sounds...unwieldy.

My link

I don't think you understand shrink wrap.

I don't think you understand sarcasm, counselor #nofontforthat

Can't believe I missed that. Sarcastically calling netting shrink wrap is classic.

 

[FDAS]

Corn isn't sweet enough to begin with? Why not put a fun dip dry rub on it as well?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Yeah, soooooo obviously fake. Tried to tell pack on the facebooks.

 

[Henry Ford]

Bought a 3 pack of cantaloupe today. Can't wait to dig in.

Sooo.....they, like, shrink wrapped three separate cantaloupes together?

Exactly. Like all the other shrink wrapped fruit you see on the shelves.

I'm envisioning three, whole cantaloupes shrunk wrapped together. Sounds...unwieldy.

My link

I don't think you understand shrink wrap.

I don't think you understand sarcasm, counselor #nofontforthat

Can't believe I missed that. Sarcastically calling netting shrink wrap is classic.

It was the "all the other fruit that is shrink wrapped" that I thought tipped it off. I don't usually buy any fruit shrink wrapped.

This joke would work better if stores didn't actually sell shrink-wrapped fruit.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Schedule a customer golf outing at 11:30 for an easy day before the holiday

Different customer asks for a 5 PM Conf call

 

[BobbyLayne]

Schedule a customer golf outing at 11:30 for an easy day before the holiday

Different customer asks for a 5 PM Conf call

Decline and propose a new time down?

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Schedule a customer golf outing at 11:30 for an easy day before the holiday

Different customer asks for a 5 PM Conf call

Decline and propose a new time down?

Unfortunately yes...prior to me being fully engaged we were chastised for our perceived lack of commitment to the project, so telling them I have a conflict doesn't go over so well at the moment

 

[kevzilla]

Commitment is overrated. I'm going to have 36 hours by the end of the day, helping people in multiple clinics navigate new software. My reward is going to be four hours of holiday pay for Friday instead of eight. Another win for Milos?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Schedule a customer golf outing at 11:30 for an easy day before the holiday

Different customer asks for a 5 PM Conf call

Decline and propose a new time down?

Unfortunately yes...prior to me being fully engaged we were chastised for our perceived lack of commitment to the project, so telling them I have a conflict doesn't go over so well at the moment

Which means they're probably ####### with you.

 

[Josie Maran]

Schedule a customer golf outing at 11:30 for an easy day before the holiday

Different customer asks for a 5 PM Conf call

Decline and propose a new time down?

Unfortunately yes...prior to me being fully engaged we were chastised for our perceived lack of commitment to the project, so telling them I have a conflict doesn't go over so well at the moment

Just explain to him that everyone on that call will hate him with the heat of a thousand suns. Also offer to schedule future calls for Christmas Eve, the friday before Labor Day, and the day before Thanksgiving...all at 5pm.

Oh, and don't forget the 7am video conference on Super Bowl Monday.

What an ###hole.

 

[General Malaise]

Speaking of vexing FB posts, this courtesy my sister:

I will never apologize for who I am. I am a single mom of two amazing boys and our lives are pretty amazing.

Wut?

 

[Abraham]

Vexing is a word I don't use enough. Thanks for the reminder.

 

[General Malaise]

I'm dying to meet GMwife, who seems like the best wife since RedmondWife.

RedmondWife is awesome. So glad he found a gem.

 

[General Malaise]

Corn isn't sweet enough to begin with? Why not put a fun dip dry rub on it as well?

I'M SURE THERE'S A PANCAKE YOU CAN DROWN IN SYRUP OUT THERE FOR YOU!

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

Bought a 3 pack of cantaloupe today. Can't wait to dig in.

Sooo.....they, like, shrink wrapped three separate cantaloupes together?

Exactly. Like all the other shrink wrapped fruit you see on the shelves.

I'm envisioning three, whole cantaloupes shrunk wrapped together. Sounds...unwieldy.

My link

I don't think you understand shrink wrap.

I don't think you understand sarcasm, counselor #nofontforthat

Can't believe I missed that. Sarcastically calling netting shrink wrap is classic.

It was the "all the other fruit that is shrink wrapped" that I thought tipped it off. I don't usually buy any fruit shrink wrapped.

This joke would work better if stores didn't actually sell shrink-wrapped fruit.

Top 7 shrink wrapped fruits?

top 7 netted-bunched fruits?

 

[General Malaise]

Had a very grown-up meal last night, one of the finest meals I've had since Friday night.

BEEF SHORTRIBS 23.5
braised with espresso + dried prunes, creamy spaetzle, gremolata, fresh horseradish

And, instead of having a plebeian beer, I instead enjoyed a kumquat cooler, which was unlike anything I've ever had before. Quite refreshing. Might be shifting to cocktails in my 40s.

 

[General Malaise]

Kellen is out fishing today with my FIL, BIL and crazy Uncle Eddie, who sounds like Joe Pesci and has similar mannerisms. Eddie's got a boat, so he took them to Lake St. Claire to catch some perch. Heterosexuality imminent.

 

[Henry Ford]

Top 7 shrink wrapped fruits?

top 7 netted-bunched fruits?

#1

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Speaking of vexing FB posts, this courtesy my sister:

I will never apologize for who I am. I am a single mom of two amazing boys and our lives are pretty amazing.

Wut?

My link

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Had a very grown-up meal last night, one of the finest meals I've had since Friday night.

BEEF SHORTRIBS 23.5
braised with espresso + dried prunes, creamy spaetzle, gremolata, fresh horseradish

And, instead of having a plebeian beer, I instead enjoyed a kumquat cooler, which was unlike anything I've ever had before. Quite refreshing. Might be shifting to cocktails in my 40s.

They don't have tails.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

And fresh horseradish is awesome. Everybody run out and buy some tonight imo.

 

[General Malaise]

And fresh horseradish is awesome. Everybody run out and buy some tonight imo.

Great on waffles.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

And fresh horseradish is awesome. Everybody run out and buy some tonight imo.

Great on waffles.

I'm actually not a big fan of the whole waffle-pancake-french toast grouping myself. I'll eat them if I have to, and I've even had a few here and there that I enjoyed. I prefer other breakfast foods, though.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I mentioned how about 14 years ago I guess it has been now, one of my neighbors, a fire fighter, had a congenital heart problem and died at the age of 24. (I've had a streak going for a long time) Of course it was terribly sad since they had only been married a couple of years had a 1.5 yo son and she was pregnant with their second. After a year or so of deep depression she banged around for awhile before meeting a nice guy (I hear) remarrying and had another kid with him. Well yesterday on FB she posted a pic of her oldest son, now 15-16, with a big smile on his face wearing a shirt that reads "I didn't choose to be gay. I got lucky". I've always been in the camp that the VAST majority of gay people were born that way and even if you choose it, WTF do I care. I can't help but wonder though if him losing his Dad shaped his sexuality this way. Plus even flaunting sexuality at that age seems odd to me.

 

[General Malaise]

Shuke's facial expressions in photos will always and forever make me laugh uncontrollably. Latest FB offerings...

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Maybe he's just really happy.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Had a very grown-up meal last night, one of the finest meals I've had since Friday night.

BEEF SHORTRIBS 23.5
braised with espresso + dried prunes, creamy spaetzle, gremolata, fresh horseradish

And, instead of having a plebeian beer, I instead enjoyed a kumquat cooler, which was unlike anything I've ever had before. Quite refreshing. Might be shifting to cocktails in my 40s.

That sounds really good. Big spaetzle fan here.

 

[General Malaise]

And fresh horseradish is awesome. Everybody run out and buy some tonight imo.

Great on waffles.

I'm actually not a big fan of the whole waffle-pancake-french toast grouping myself. I'll eat them if I have to, and I've even had a few here and there that I enjoyed. I prefer other breakfast foods, though.

Yeah, that's my take on it all. My body craves eggs, breakfast meats and hashbrowns. Maybe some toast. And while I don't hate pancakes or waffles or French Toast, I just don't crave them anymore. And since I know you can't eat the All American breakfast every day, I limit that sort of treat to once or twice a month at most. My work day breakfasts are boring. Apples, lowfat yogurt, berries, oatmeal. I have to force myself to eat it, but I'd like to make it past 50.

 

[General Malaise]

Had a very grown-up meal last night, one of the finest meals I've had since Friday night.

BEEF SHORTRIBS 23.5
braised with espresso + dried prunes, creamy spaetzle, gremolata, fresh horseradish

And, instead of having a plebeian beer, I instead enjoyed a kumquat cooler, which was unlike anything I've ever had before. Quite refreshing. Might be shifting to cocktails in my 40s.

That sounds really good. Big spaetzle fan here.

I had to ask what it was. Also gremolata.

But yeah, you get your vag head up here and we'll hit this place up. Can stumble home after too many kumquat coolers.