What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (22 Viewers)

Notorious T.R.E. said:
Annyong said:
Raider Nation said:
I'm going to an open bar wedding reception on Saturday. I was gonna tip $5 or $10 every round, but in the link below it says you shouldn't tip. Have you guys found this to be the case? I don't want to be an unsophisticated goon.

Homer? Anyone?

http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2012/08/tipping-tentativelydo-you-need-to-tip-at-an-open-bar/
Click to expand...
I always tip at open bars. I usually just go up at the beginning and give the lady like $30. I usually end up pretty wasted and good at dancing.
Click to expand...
This works or I do a buck a drink or thereabouts.
Click to expand...
Usually start with a buck a drink, then run out of dollars. Usually pretty drunk by then and ask if I can just tip $20. They always agree that would be super duper then I do something to embarrass my wife, myself and my family name. I really appreciate the times I black out and don't remember anything.

 
I just read Chet's golf thread and then the "Marriage and Friends of the Opposite Sex" thread back to back. I have very, very little hope for humanity.

 
I'll post descriptions of various kickers as though they were items for sale in different geographic locations on Craigslist. If you can find a kicker's listing when it's your turn to draft, you can have that kicker.

 
Serious question here....can't remember from last year, did we just keep a google doc and make a gentleman's agreement that nobody would edit it with the wrong picks, or what?

 
Tiger Fan said:
Serious question here....can't remember from last year, did we just keep a google doc and make a gentleman's agreement that nobody would edit it with the wrong picks, or what?
Click to expand...
I randomly drafted Donald Igwebuike for people on the spreadsheet last year.

Probably do it again this year.

 
Frostillicus said:
Hasn't spread. Super duper small. Caught really early. Surgery should be simple to eliminate with little chance of it coming back. Basically the best news possible. Yeah!
Click to expand...
An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day
Awesome news GB

 
Great first day in Seattle. Walked around Pike Place Market and grabbed some lunch, had dessert in park overlooking the waterfront, rode the Ferris wheel, swam in the hotel pool for a long while and now a friend is swinging by to take my daughter and me out for dinner :thumbup:

 
This lack of likes really sucks. Thanks everybody. When my parents called with the news they were like it was Christmas morning and my mom said today was the best day of her life. Then I asked my dad if it would make him a woman if they removed his prostate and he spent the next 6-7 minutes telling me how he'd still be able to get an erection. Also how he'd be able to pee no problem but would need a catheter for the first week after surgery. And he'd have to do male kegel exercises to help strengthen his bladder. So that joke pretty much backfired.

 
McGarnicle said:
I'm coming to some sad realizations today. I'm 43 and happily married, and not only have I never been with a black chick, I've never done coke off a hooker's butt. I've also never been with an Asian for free, or even a Hispanic.
Click to expand...
this is the saddest thing i have ever read.

 
Anyways, I got off work around 5pm and decided I should eat some gas station pizza on the way home. It went ok. I then decided that was a very fat person thing to do, so i went for a run and of course got gas station pizza gas about 4 miles in. I tried to save every fart for a turn in the sidewalk so I could "skid" around the corners like in Mario Kart.

 
Frostillicus said:
This lack of likes really sucks. Thanks everybody. When my parents called with the news they were like it was Christmas morning and my mom said today was the best day of her life. Then I asked my dad if it would make him a woman if they removed his prostate and he spent the next 6-7 minutes telling me how he'd still be able to get an erection. Also how he'd be able to pee no problem but would need a catheter for the first week after surgery. And he'd have to do male kegel exercises to help strengthen his bladder. So that joke pretty much backfired.
Click to expand...
Annyong said:
Anyways, I got off work around 5pm and decided I should eat some gas station pizza on the way home. It went ok. I then decided that was a very fat person thing to do, so i went for a run and of course got gas station pizza gas about 4 miles in. I tried to save every fart for a turn in the sidewalk so I could "skid" around the corners like in Mario Kart.
Click to expand...
An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day
 
McGarnicle said:
I'm coming to some sad realizations today. I'm 43 and happily married, and not only have I never been with a black chick, I've never done coke off a hooker's butt. I've also never been with an Asian for free, or even a Hispanic.
Click to expand...
I've been with 3 Hispanic chicks. Pretty much just white chicks with darker hair and a greater propensity to get pregnant.

Never been with a black chick. I really don't know any black people.

Worked with a ton of Asians. Probably could have ridden my rickshaw up their Ho Chi Minh Trails but didn't want to deal with all of the complications.*

Hookers are gross.

*If I'm dating a chick she's probably going to need to drive me home/around at least twice a month. If I dated an Asian chick I'd be better off driving drunk.

 
YSR said:
At the ER with YSRKid #1. 104 fever, pretty rough shape. I am sure she'll be fine but scary stuff.
Click to expand...
Our little guy had a 104 fever a couple of times. It's very scary. Apparently it's not uncommon for babies to have fevers that high, but it's still very unsettling.

 
True story:

Wife and I watched the latest episode of "The Leftovers" tonight (decent show, you should check it out). If you don't watch the show there is a 40-ish divorced/widowered guy who lives with his teenage daughter. The daughter's best friends lives with them too. There is a very "American Beauty" vibe going on. I keep telling my wife that the dad is going to rail the daughter's friend eventually.

So the previews for next week's episode show a quick clip of the daughter's friend telling the dad "you don't remember what you did last night???"

I turn to my wife and say "See, I told you he was going to bang that girl."

Wife: I don't think he banged her.

Me: BJ?

Wife: No, I think he did something crazy (people do all kinds of weird stuff on this show)

Me: (looking around conspiratorially and then whispering) Anal?

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing
1856 1857 1858
Replies
93K
Views
3M
urbanhack
urbanhack
T
***Official 2014 GMTAN Draft Thread***
34 35 36
Replies
2K
Views
46K
El Floppo
El Floppo
Early_10
***Official*** Seinfeld draft thread
25 26 27
Replies
1K
Views
36K
The Dreaded Marco
The Dreaded Marco

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 17 (members: 0, guests: 17)
Back
Top