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How did you turn your life around? (1 Viewer)

I quit letting other people make decisions for me.  I have problems like anyone, but now they are of my own doing and I get to decide how much (or little) I care to fix them. 

 
I know what I want, but I just don't know how to go about getting it.

I want to write the greatest story ever told, but I know I can't write it alone. Is there such a thing as a writer's club?  I've got lots of vivid, loosely woven vignettes floating around in my mind that I want to share with other would-be storytellers - like a chile pepper that wants to make a pot of chili; an epic storytelling style that would lend itself to video, like a Netflix series.

 
cstu said:
My entire life has been "How am I going to get out of this?".  How I did it was copy what I saw successful people doing.  I never accepted my lot in life and refused to accept failure - even when I failed repeatedly.  I've come to this conclusion - if you work long enough toward something, you'll get it.  The first rule of success is if you fall down, you get back up.  There is no second rule.
Most people only think of this when it comes to business or a job. I use it in all relationships.

 
I know what I want, but I just don't know how to go about getting it.

I want to write the greatest story ever told, but I know I can't write it alone. Is there such a thing as a writer's club?  I've got lots of vivid, loosely woven vignettes floating around in my mind that I want to share with other would-be storytellers - like a chile pepper that wants to make a pot of chili; an epic storytelling style that would lend itself to video, like a Netflix series.
Start by writing any story, even one that sucks.  The next one will be better.  Repeat. 

Read a lot. Read different writers and let the words - not just the story - sink in. Read Old Man and the Sea and then read Blood Meridian, two wildly different styles. Read A Million Tiny Pieces and Infinite Jest. Repeat

Writing and storytelling is a skill that can be developed just like anything else   

 
Start by writing any story, even one that sucks.  The next one will be better.  Repeat. 

Read a lot. Read different writers and let the words - not just the story - sink in. Read Old Man and the Sea and then read Blood Meridian, two wildly different styles. Read A Million Tiny Pieces and Infinite Jest. Repeat

Writing and storytelling is a skill that can be developed just like anything else   
I don't quite agree...storytelling is an art that cannot be developed, you have it or you don't... Then again, I was never a teller of stories, so I would not know.

 
I used to want to be a writer. In 5th grade, I wrote a short story about these hunters that went out to Alaska to find this great, white moose that was the stuff of legends. Unfortunately, the assignment was to write a first person poem about what it was like to be a certain object. I got a B. But my teacher read my story out loud, because she said it was really good. All my friends loved the story. When we played "Kill the Guy" at recess, they all started chanting "Moose" whenever I had the tennis ball. Even Cindy McCartney looked at me with a newfound admiration. I was bound and determined to be a writer.

When I got out of the Army, I decided I would be the next Charles Bukowski. I already had a tolerance for a number of beers and whiskey that would cripple most people, and I still wanted to be a writer. I'd start drinking at 11 am, usually, right after getting up. And I would sit and write some of the worst, most self-indulgent treacle ever hammered out on a pretentious old-school Underwood typewriter. I have some good stories from those days, but not the ones I wrote. I gave up after a year and decided to go to college. I knew I'd never be Bukowski, or Hemingway or Shakespeare.

The one recurring theme, though, that I remember reading in interviews and biographies and autobiographies of famous authors (whether I thought they were any good or not) was that they wrote every day. Religiously. Set time aside and wrote, like they had no choice.

 
I don't quite agree...storytelling is an art that cannot be developed, you have it or you don't... Then again, I was never a teller of stories, so I would not know.
Not everyone can be Janes Joyce, but you can certainly improve and become competent through practice and study. Not Everyone can be Freddie Mercury, but everyone can learn to sing.  Not everyone can be tiger woods, but everyone can learn to play golf.  Writing is the same. 

 
Not everyone can be Janes Joyce, but you can certainly improve and become competent through practice and study. Not Everyone can be Freddie Mercury, but everyone can learn to sing.  Not everyone can be tiger woods, but everyone can learn to play golf.  Writing is the same. 
Agree. Anything can be developed through deliberate practice. Even things that aren't at all natural.

 
Came in here to post potatoes. Didn't get past the first ####### reply :lmao:  

 
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Agree. Anything can be developed through deliberate practice. Even things that aren't at all natural.
Where are you people getting this? There is art and there is Art.

Is it a hobby or a career?

You think Jerry Rice woke up as Jerry freakin Rice? He sacrificed *Everything*.

 
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I'll never forget that night I was blowing guys under an overpass for crack money and I met a Catholic priest. Why he was there is unimportant -- he taught me about the Lord.

 
Ok?

Did you actually read the posts?
Exactly. Some people have natural inclination at things but even that isn't enough. By your own admission jerry rice had to work really hard to be jerry rice. But that doesn't mean everyone else can't learn to catch a football.  

 
wdcrob said:
Do something.  Act.  Move.  I went through a bad time in my 20s and eventually found that doing anything helped.

Clean.  Shoot hoops.  Take a walk.  Call a friend.  Go see a movie.  Find something you like or that needs doing, and do it.  For me it didn't matter what it was -- once I moved I broke the spell for that day.  String enough OK days together and you start to feel better and it's easier to think about the bigger picture stuff.  I really don't know if that would work for everyone, but it helped me quite a bit.
This is very good advice.  You get satisfaction and confidence from completing tasks, and you feel worthless when you know you have stuff to do it and don't get it done.  The sense of movement and achievement is key.

I've done several things over time to get me out of a rut. Usually it's an investment to get me motivated (attend a Success conference) or improve a skill (speaking more comfortably in front of groups).  But at the end of the day it was just getting older and more comfortable in my own skin.  I now know I am good enough, and worry less about what others think.  Actually, others have always thought highly of me from a business standpoint, but I was the one with doubts.  Didn't truly believe in myself.  Now I do.  Or it could have been fear of failure driving me.  But in any event I know procrastination weighs heavily on one's mind.  Get stuff done.

 
Does this mean that you were an alcoholic?  If so, what is your plan to remain booze free?  
No, not an alcoholic, but I've wasted too many evenings having some pops when I could have been getting stuff done.  Then I feel more sluggish the next day.  I haven't had any sluggish days recently, and I've been more productive in my evenings.  People saying to just get stuff done are right.  Using my nights to accomplish tasks that I had been putting me off has me feeing better.  Baby steps.

 
Lots of great advice in here, guys.  I found a lot of it inspirational, and I'm definitely going to incorporate it in my life.  Thanks for sharing the personal stories, and thanks for taking the time to help a brother out.

 
Think long and hard about the negative people/things in your life that hold you back.

RUTHLESSLY get rid of this negativity.

End result = Positivity.

 
Al O'Pecia said:
No offense, but isn't that a major for early twenties chicks?

You seem to like to communicate and try to understand why others think differently than you so maybe you gravitated toward a career that better suited your nature.
I just wanted to know what makes people tick. And what was wrong with enrolling into full classes of early 20s girlies?

 
Personally -stopped lying to myself and everyone else.  Got out of crappy marriage.  Admitted I was an addict,  went to 12 step meetings,  and therapy.  Made new friends, stopped keeping secrets.  Let everything fall apart so I could build it up again a better way.  Started to appreciate small things in life,  live in the moment,  focus on what I can do each day step by step,  not get overwhelmed by thinking I have to achieve every goal all at once.  

 
I just wanted to know what makes people tick. And what was wrong with enrolling into full classes of early 20s girlies?
Good point.

I can tell from your posts that you have a natural curiosity as to why people think the way they do.

Good for you.  It's commendable that you were willing to make a career change and pursue a field you're more passionate about.

 
- Turn off tv, radio and internet.

- Read, read, read.

- Exercise.

- Church/temple/pray/meditate (your pick).

- Honesty with yourself and others even if hurts.

- Wdcrob said it, be an active, consistently productive person, even fun stuff should be accomplishing something. If you build little piles of accomplishment you feel better. It's the dissonance between loss of time and desire which causes frustration and disappointment, reverse that trend.

 
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I don't agree with a word you just wrote.
Sorry I got caught up in a stupid philosophical point which had nothing to do with the thread. Apologies.

So more tips:

- Don't be dogmatic and worry or get hung up on stupid philosophical points with other people you .care about or really anyone.

- Risibility.

- Don't blame others.

- Don't feel sorry for yourself.

 
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My experience and that of many others here has a common thread: honesty.  My life fell apart when trying to juggle and solve all the lies became too much to handle.  It wasn't until I got honest about things - my happiness, goals, relationships, how I wanted to spend my time - that things started looking up. 

 
Curious.... was the MBA actually valuable in starting your own company?
Absolutely

ETA: Not everything was/is 100% applicable. But most of it was at least peripherically helpful. And getting the confidence up during the course was invaluable

 
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Couple things -

1.  Find a job you love, not necessarily the one that promises to pay the most.  If you are really good at something you love, you might find what you bring to the table will bring more than you thought it could.  I chased money and title for 15 years - sometime in my mid-30s I said screw it and looked for a job that I loved and oddly when I quit caring about money and title that is when those things found me instead of me searching for them.

2. Don't seek happiness from someone else - you are responsible for your own happiness.  If your happiness is self-determined it is amazing the stress it takes off of the other relationships in your life.  If you are in a toxic relationship that kills your ability to be happy with yourself, get out of it.

 

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