How do you deal with DismissiveGuy at work? (1 Viewer)

[Keerock]

tl;dr

 

[Henry Ford]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

 

[John Bender]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

Good advice. Just leave his office. If he asks why you're leaving let him know you'll come back when he's done.

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

"Am I interrupting? Drop by when you're finished with that call."

"You seem like you're in a big hurry. Do we need to reschedule this meeting?"

"I know you're probably stressed out, but it's probably best to treat each other with respect even when we're busy."

Basically just name/highlight his behavior in front of other people as it happens. Not snarkily, just matter of factly.

Does three things -- shows him that others aren't perceiving his actions the way he wants them too (i.e. he's not important, he's just rude), it cuts him down to size for others, and the rest of the office appreciates you addressing what they're probably uncomfortable or afraid to.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Is this guy your boss? If he isn't I dont understand the problem. Avoid him.

If one of our sales managers called me into meetings and acted this way, I would simply stop going to those meetings and tell the sales manager I am too busy. I would say shoot me an email with your questions and I will address them when my week calms down.

If the guy is your boss, then it is pretty easy to deal with also. You just need to be doyourjobguy. The owner(my boss) of our company can be a real bear about some things and it drives me nuts sometimes, but it is pretty easy to deal with since he is my boss. He values my input and frequently when we disagree about something I think he tries very hard to make me see his point. I have found it easier in certain situations to say to him we arent going to agree on this, but it is your decision and your company. Just tell me you want it done and I will take care of it. Then I make sure I take care of it in the same manner as if I agreed with it. He knows I am not just dismissing him because it was handled exactly as he wanted and I can still take pride in knowing that I did my job well even though I may not have agreed with the reasons behind it.

 

[flranger]

http://bit.ly/1gxcmdS

 

[saintfool]

Otis can't negotiate this somehow? Must be O's time of the month, I guess.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Does his office have ceiling tiles?

 

[Raider Nation]

So what silliness is this knob up to today?

 

[Raider Nation]

So what silliness is this knob up to today?

(Otis, not DismissiveGuy)

 

[fantasycurse42]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

 

[Raider Nation]

Can you add the word nerd somewhere?

POTFY

 

[Ghost Rider]

For some reason, the description of this guy reminded me of the d-bag from the Cancer Man episode of Breaking Bad. Ya know, the guy whose car Walt jacked up at the end.

 

[Raider Nation]

For some reason, the description of this guy reminded me of the d-bag from the Cancer Man episode of Breaking Bad. Ya know, the guy whose car Walt jacked up at the end.

KENWINS

 

[Apes with Guns]

we have dismissivegirl at work right now. shes 27, and she knows everything. manager on a team of smart guys. they are dumb. people at her last place were smarter. people need to not be afraid of change. her idea is right. always asks a question in a meeting, because "they won't remember you if you don't speak to them". other people will eventually come around to her way of thinking. she feels like she's on the outside, yet when people confide in her, she imediately outs them to make them look bad. has no respect for people with more experience.

How do you deal with them? You try to give them a little help, and watch as they laugh and douse everything in gasoline. When they light the match with a malicious grin on their faces, you make eye contact and smile sadly. Then you avert your eyes, duck behind something solid and wait for the fireball to pass. When it's all over, you sweep up the ashes.

Also make sure you follow them on LinkedIn and shake your head as they climb the corporate ladder at another company.

 

[Raider Nation]

we have dismissivegirl at work right now. shes 27, and she knows everything.

"Bring me a cup of coffee, will ya hun?" FTW.

 

[Apes with Guns]

we have dismissivegirl at work right now. shes 27, and she knows everything.

"Bring me a cup of coffee, will ya hun?" FTW.

the spank is the worst. It's just so...degrading.

 

[bigbottom]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

Being a hiring partner doesn't really figure into the partner power rankings.

 

[17seconds]

we have dismissivegirl at work right now. shes 27, and she knows everything. manager on a team of smart guys. they are dumb. people at her last place were smarter. people need to not be afraid of change. her idea is right. always asks a question in a meeting, because "they won't remember you if you don't speak to them". other people will eventually come around to her way of thinking. she feels like she's on the outside, yet when people confide in her, she imediately outs them to make them look bad. has no respect for people with more experience.

How do you deal with them? You try to give them a little help, and watch as they laugh and douse everything in gasoline. When they light the match with a malicious grin on their faces, you make eye contact and smile sadly. Then you avert your eyes, duck behind something solid and wait for the fireball to pass. When it's all over, you sweep up the ashes.

Also make sure you follow them on LinkedIn and shake your head as they climb the corporate ladder at another company.

90% of time the behavior in bold goes away in a few months after she assimilates into the company groupthink

 

[Henry Ford]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

Being a hiring partner doesn't really figure into the partner power rankings.

Gotcha. I'm in an office with a very small number of attorneys. Not much on the office politics front.

 

[Otis]

So what silliness is this knob up to today?

(Otis, not DismissiveGuy)

 

[Otis]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

Being a hiring partner doesn't really figure into the partner power rankings.

lmao at partner power rankings

(And BB is right)

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

I'm working for a guy like that right now. I don't even mind it except when he's too busy for questions or explanations. Listen I don't give a crap if you don't want to know what's going on in your own case. No skin off my nose. But you're not fooling anyone with the "YOUR 25 SECOND EXPLANATION IS WASTING VALUABLE TIME!" routine. It's a deliberative profession, dude.

 

[Henry Ford]

I'm working for a guy like that right now. I don't even mind it except when he's too busy for questions or explanations. Listen I don't give a crap if you don't want to know what's going on in your own case. No skin off my nose. But you're not fooling anyone with the "YOUR 25 SECOND EXPLANATION IS WASTING VALUABLE TIME!" routine. It's a deliberative profession, dude.

I find it helpful to keep track of the sentence this kind of guy interrupts. 20 minutes later when he stops ranting or doing other stuff, I finish the sentence. Then he stares blankly at me and asks what I was talking about.

"Oh, right, that was 20 minutes ago. I started off by saying..."

 

[Raider Nation]

So what silliness is this knob up to today?

(Otis, not DismissiveGuy)

I owed you one for clowning me in the True Detective thread. Don't let it happen again.

 

[bigbottom]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

Being a hiring partner doesn't really figure into the partner power rankings.

lmao at partner power rankings

(And BB is right)

And for the record, this is not meant to belittle Oats. I'm the hiring partner in my office. All it means is that I can have fun at a party and am willing to do a bunch of work for little to no recognition. In BigLaw, it's all about how much money you're making for the firm. And THIS is where Oats is doing quite well for himself.

 

[Zow]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

Ignore them, act calmer than they do and once in a while ask them questions in front of other people that make them reveal their insecure narcissism. I worked with a guy like this for about 8 years.

Yeah this seems about right.

 

[Tom Skerritt]

Readers Digest version please ?

How do you deal with pricks at work who try really hard to make the themselves seem more important than anyone in the room.

I have one of these guys. He is the biggest ####### dooshbag in my department, and just about everybody hates him. And I really cannot understand how he gets away with this behavior, but I would punch him in the face if this were outside of work.

It's to the point now where I will pass him in the hallway, and he will say "Hi" or some other greeting. And I will just walk past him and ignore him. I feel great when I get the opportunity to do this.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

Blackmale his wife

 

[gianmarco]

Blackmale his wife

When is this not the answer?

 

[Dr Oadi]

Post the ***Official*** Dismissive Guy thread on my favorite fantasy football forum.

 

[Otis]

Rumor has it that DismissiveGuy is up for a promotion in his business division into a leadership role. I imagine this will only make things worse....

 

[Otis]

Are you equals?

If so, who has been there longer and who has more support from your superiors?

Why does this matter? He's a ####.

Huge detail... Much different if this guy has rank over you then if you're equals and how others in the company look at both of you is equally important on how you handle.

Sort of equals. He is a little older and has a little more experience, I have been with the company longer by just a little. We are in different business units,I would say day I have a glowing reputation in mine, he's probably average-ish in his.

If you're equals or, worse, he's higher ranking, you do very little about it. You're a hiring partner - there aren't many people other than named partners who outrank you, and as long as this guy is making money no one above you in a BigLaw firm is going to care how much of a jerk he is.That said, no one will care what a jerk you are back to him. Tell him when he's over the line.

When someone in my office gets on the phone while I'm talking to him/her, I leave the room. Make him/her come find me to continue the conversation.

Being a hiring partner doesn't really figure into the partner power rankings.

lmao at partner power rankings(And BB is right)

And for the record, this is not meant to belittle Oats. I'm the hiring partner in my office. All it means is that I can have fun at a party and am willing to do a bunch of work for little to no recognition. In BigLaw, it's all about how much money you're making for the firm. And THIS is where Oats is doing quite well for himself.

BB and Oats -- the kings of thankless jobs.