I was wrong about ___________? (1 Viewer)

[Joe Bryant]

More and more as I get older, I find I admire people who can recognize they are wrong, and instead of digging in their heels, openly admit it. Often times, it feels threatening to them, but, they find out in the long run it leads to more respect if they handle it properly. There's a way to reverse yourself without losing face.

For example, when a ref blows a call in the moment, but then huddles up and talks it over and changes the decision, you see the other players, announcers, and fans all react with 'that's good to see' and 'much respect to him', rather than 'wow what a loss of authority'.

On a personal level, I think one of the best things I ever did at my job was after making a pretty significant mistake in my first six months at this position, when it happened I didn't know what had gone wrong, so when my boss brought it up, I said "OK, first let me fix what's wrong, then I'll backtrack and figure out where the mistake was made and who made it." Which I did... first fixing the mistake in a few minutes and working on getting the rest of the team on the correct path. Then I spent an hour re-tracing every step and decision until I found the fault... which was my own mistake.

I still remember walking into my boss's office, he was on the phone at the time so I sat on his couch and waited for him to finish. As soon as he hung up, I said, "I screwed up, it's on me." I let him know the steps I took to correct it. He advised me on who to call and apologize to, which I did. Everyone got over it immediately once I owned up. Been here 15 years since and the boss sees me as his best employee because I'm direct, honest, fair, and accountable. I have made plenty of mistakes since then, we all have. But when I do it's handled quickly and never a real problem.

Anyway, just felt like saying that it's become a lost art in today's society. Other people seem so worried about appearing the slightest bit fallible. The trait I find I admire most in other people nowadays is being willing to listen to all sides, take in new information and perspectives, and chart a new or different course based on it.


If anyone else feels like sharing a time they were wrong about something, I encourage the catharsis. Admitting you were wrong is a difficult step but you'd be surprised how much better you feel after.

Excellent post.

I agree it seems like a lost art. Although I'm not sure we ever did it well.

Like you, I've learned to appreciate it more as I've become older.

Predicting fantasy football will teach you some of that. LOL.

But even in other things, I find it's so much easier to own the mistake or what you said or did, get it right, and move forward.

 

[Joe Bryant]

On this note, for the last couple of years our Jason Wood's been writing these "________ players who changed my mind" each summer. He does it for QB, WR, RB and TE.

I think they're fantastic as he works through players and talks about how he's changed his mind and why.

Example: https://www.footballguys.com/article/2024-19-running-backs-who-changed-my-mind

 

[rockaction]

We have ourselves to blame for most of us not taking the blame.

Our screening systems to put people in positions of power are extremely lacking and no longer have the benefit of being utile and selective in a meritorious way, never mind the formerly impossible moral ideal we used to strive for in our selection of our leaders in industry and governance (and social and religious organizations). Both merit and moral are leaving the station as qualities we even nod our heads at when we screen.

Our punishments and who delivers them are whacked out and unjust. The earnest man in power who admits being wrong is pilloried and abused—his entire program or worldview comes into question inevitably. To give ground on one element or issue is to fold tents on everything, or so the person in the wrong thinks. It is easier to lie or deceive when one considers that one is in charge or responsible for the world and its direction. The importance of being right and having what one believes come to fruition becomes the goal, and so much is lost in the process of enacting the "right" direction that one loses sight of both the means under which the policy or thought is put into place, nor how the stars rebel at no deed for we are so small, even if in God's image.

In addition to the weightier rights and wrongs, there are then those people who seek punishment for snubs or non-recognition of often esoteric and unknown quasi-noumenal concepts. They are powerful, loud, and established all throughout our society's gatekeeping functions. There are enough transgressions (subtle or unwitting as the transgressors are) that are met with diffuse yet discernible hysterics from those who wield economic and social clout that it makes it again hard to admit wrongdoing. Things totally normal ten years ago now require heartfelt apologias to people who have lived not even half as long as those apologizing. For really benign or common sensical stuff. And worse, apologies do not placate this crew and only serve to exacerbate the punishment as "teachable" moments.

ok boomer.

Anyway, we have ourselves to blame for the rest of us not taking the blame.

 

[gianmarco]

More and more as I get older, I find I admire people who can recognize they are wrong, and instead of digging in their heels, openly admit it. Often times, it feels threatening to them, but, they find out in the long run it leads to more respect if they handle it properly. There's a way to reverse yourself without losing face.

For example, when a ref blows a call in the moment, but then huddles up and talks it over and changes the decision, you see the other players, announcers, and fans all react with 'that's good to see' and 'much respect to him', rather than 'wow what a loss of authority'.

On a personal level, I think one of the best things I ever did at my job was after making a pretty significant mistake in my first six months at this position, when it happened I didn't know what had gone wrong, so when my boss brought it up, I said "OK, first let me fix what's wrong, then I'll backtrack and figure out where the mistake was made and who made it." Which I did... first fixing the mistake in a few minutes and working on getting the rest of the team on the correct path. Then I spent an hour re-tracing every step and decision until I found the fault... which was my own mistake.

I still remember walking into my boss's office, he was on the phone at the time so I sat on his couch and waited for him to finish. As soon as he hung up, I said, "I screwed up, it's on me." I let him know the steps I took to correct it. He advised me on who to call and apologize to, which I did. Everyone got over it immediately once I owned up. Been here 15 years since and the boss sees me as his best employee because I'm direct, honest, fair, and accountable. I have made plenty of mistakes since then, we all have. But when I do it's handled quickly and never a real problem.

Anyway, just felt like saying that it's become a lost art in today's society. Other people seem so worried about appearing the slightest bit fallible. The trait I find I admire most in other people nowadays is being willing to listen to all sides, take in new information and perspectives, and chart a new or different course based on it.


If anyone else feels like sharing a time they were wrong about something, I encourage the catharsis. Admitting you were wrong is a difficult step but you'd be surprised how much better you feel after.

I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

 

[-fish-]

Dave Roberts really is the problem with the Dodgers.

 

[-fish-]

We have ourselves to blame for most of us not taking the blame.

Our screening systems to put people in positions of power are extremely lacking and no longer have the benefit of being utile and selective in a meritorious way, never mind the formerly impossible moral ideal we used to strive for in our selection of our leaders in industry and governance (and social and religious organizations). Both merit and moral are leaving the station as qualities we even nod our heads at when we screen.

Our punishments and who delivers them are whacked out and unjust. The earnest man in power who admits being wrong is pilloried and abused—his entire program or worldview comes into question inevitably. To give ground on one element or issue is to fold tents on everything, or so the person in the wrong thinks. It is easier to lie or deceive when one considers that one is in charge or responsible for the world and its direction. The importance of being right and having what one believes come to fruition becomes the goal, and so much is lost in the process of enacting the "right" direction that one loses sight of both the means under which the policy or thought is put into place, nor how the stars rebel at no deed for we are so small, even if in God's image.

In addition to the weightier rights and wrongs, there are then those people who seek punishment for snubs or non-recognition of often esoteric and unknown quasi-noumenal concepts. They are powerful, loud, and established all throughout our society's gatekeeping functions. There are enough transgressions (subtle or unwitting as the transgressors are) that are met with diffuse yet discernible hysterics from those who wield economic and social clout that it makes it again hard to admit wrongdoing. Things totally normal ten years ago now require heartfelt apologias to people who have lived not even half as long as those apologizing. For really benign or common sensical stuff. And worse, apologies do not placate this crew and only serve to exacerbate the punishment as "teachable" moments.

ok boomer.

Anyway, we have ourselves to blame for the rest of us not taking the blame.

Rock,

Was your point that we are to blame for the fact that our justice system sucks because the public is unqualified to recognize or elect those most qualified to mete out justice (setting aside the fact that they may not even be willing to serve) or was it that the justice system itself sucks?

 

[BLOCKED_PUNT]

ok, I'll admit it. I was wrong about the Saints this year.

 

[rockaction]

We have ourselves to blame for most of us not taking the blame.

Our screening systems to put people in positions of power are extremely lacking and no longer have the benefit of being utile and selective in a meritorious way, never mind the formerly impossible moral ideal we used to strive for in our selection of our leaders in industry and governance (and social and religious organizations). Both merit and moral are leaving the station as qualities we even nod our heads at when we screen.

Our punishments and who delivers them are whacked out and unjust. The earnest man in power who admits being wrong is pilloried and abused—his entire program or worldview comes into question inevitably. To give ground on one element or issue is to fold tents on everything, or so the person in the wrong thinks. It is easier to lie or deceive when one considers that one is in charge or responsible for the world and its direction. The importance of being right and having what one believes come to fruition becomes the goal, and so much is lost in the process of enacting the "right" direction that one loses sight of both the means under which the policy or thought is put into place, nor how the stars rebel at no deed for we are so small, even if in God's image.

In addition to the weightier rights and wrongs, there are then those people who seek punishment for snubs or non-recognition of often esoteric and unknown quasi-noumenal concepts. They are powerful, loud, and established all throughout our society's gatekeeping functions. There are enough transgressions (subtle or unwitting as the transgressors are) that are met with diffuse yet discernible hysterics from those who wield economic and social clout that it makes it again hard to admit wrongdoing. Things totally normal ten years ago now require heartfelt apologias to people who have lived not even half as long as those apologizing. For really benign or common sensical stuff. And worse, apologies do not placate this crew and only serve to exacerbate the punishment as "teachable" moments.

ok boomer.

Anyway, we have ourselves to blame for the rest of us not taking the blame.

Rock,

Was your point that we are to blame for the fact that our justice system sucks because the public is unqualified to recognize or elect those most qualified to mete out justice (setting aside the fact that they may not even be willing to serve) or was it that the justice system itself sucks?

-fish-! Good to see you around! I wasn't even talking about the justice system, really, but you seem to have identified a point that is very salient to the discussion. That is a heck of a paradox you've got working in the first part of that either/or. It's almost (almost) like the conundrum of "how do I get experience when nobody will hire me without experience?" How does the newbie ever become experienced without groping their way through it, and are we not right to accuse the newbie of not being perfect when we really must, of course, demand perfection? How do the ignorant decide to be governed effectively? That's an all-timer and leads one down undemocratic paths most of the time in my experience.

I should say that I don't think our justice system sucks right now. I think it's very fallible. I also think that your first point in your either/or locution is exacerbated by the slow degradation of the average citizen's knowledge about governance. Think of the erosion of running rivers over rock. At this point, the average person's disengagement is frightening and has an effect on our justice system, not only in the selection of who metes out the justice, but also in the recognition of what sort of justice is being meted out and whether these concepts and aims are legitimately and properly obtained through the force we require of the system.

As an aside, I don't think it's really understood by the people what it means to have liberty taken away at the most intimate and personal levels. We get lots of laughter about our prison system from lay citizens who don't realize how abhorrent some of the prisons are and what it means to be in one. And that sort of disconnect frightens me. What also frightens me is people who understand what it means and still act violently or call for murderous things. I'm flabbergasted by the non-deterrence I see—flabbergasted more by the new "non-enforcement" DAs that popped up after 2020—I think I could go on for hours about the subject. The criminal justice system as it stands in 2024? Hoo boy.

But that wasn't what I was talking about.

My point was more about industry, politics, social capital (especially our local church and social organizations) institutions and their leaders. We've abdicated both moral and merit standards to such a degree when vetting those in charge that I don't see how society really even functions in forty years on anything but fumes and the top 5% pulling everybody's weight. We're not getting quality people in positions of power. As you astutely noted (and I've said it a bunch of times on this board and wish you were around for it—even though back then it came from a political rightist impulse) we can't get good people to serve in these positions because of the demands of the job, the overweening part of the screening that sets aside merit and morality and goes after modern moral fashions of appeasement and diversity and really radical, strange concepts that have started to grace the public with their presence.

Again, I could go for hours.

My point was is that we've created the screens that filter out good candidates and attract bad ones. Our incentives are bad. We reward things that should be punished and punish humanity when it should be rewarded. And we punish in ways that are no better than mobs and p-forks, diffusely spread out over a country with citizens ready to ruin fellow citizens for a piece of hide at times. It can be awful.

But that said, I'm not Chicken Little or Cassandra (I hope). I just see what every other older generation before us saw; and that was a decline in standards. Even from the Boomers to us there has been a decline. We'll see where it heads.

I hope I'll be able to look back upon this and laugh at myself for typing away, wrong as can be in a subject about being wrong, while the people I'm lamenting step to the fore and run a peaceful, harmonious society with few problems and much happiness. I really don't know that won't happen. Heh. So I can smile and just explain why I said something as hopefully pithily constructed as: We are to blame for the rest of us not taking the blame.