"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (1 Viewer)

[Wrigley]

Am I the only one who thinks 16 shouldn't give two ####s about how she now feels?

I think everyone feels that way.

Not everybody

Everybody with a functioning penis and a relationship of any length in their past.

16

 

[No. 16]

There's only one thing you keep saying that makes me a little nervous for you, 16.

You've made a few comments today about how good you were to her, or how you supported her degree, or how she stayed at your parent's house or found a job or whatever. It still seems like in your head you've got some sort of expectation of prid pro quo. Life doesn't really work that way. I say that as a victim of the same thinking in the past. She might be a great person, she might be a terrible one, she's probably in the middle. You're viewing yourself as a bit of a martyr right now (I gave up everything for her only a few posts up). Everything is very black and white right now. And in the mourning process there is nothing wrong with that, whatsoever.

But until you get enough space from the situation, you have no capacity to judge yourself in it. She may really be the one, and no one on this message board knows that.

But basically, until the approach you would take is the same advice that you'd give a buddy in the same situation, stay the hell away from her, don't write her, don't anything. Just accept anything you would do towards the situation would be somewhere between wrong and insane and that a time will come when it isn't.

Will avoid everything to do about her from here on out. Yah, lesson learned. Some people just don't give a ####.

One of many lessons being learned and will continue to learn. Believe me, this whole situation has caused me to re-evaluate myself and what I would do in future relationships. Everything in my life up until this point had been perfect and come fairly easy: stable family life, didn't get into much trouble, finished college, had a great GF, found a job in my career, etc. Things were perfect or so I thought. Now that naivety is gone.

I'm still sifting through the mess I've made (particularly the DUI), but I'm determined to get through it all. I actually have "life experiences" now. Hopefully, this will be the last of the negative ones for a while and i can fill it with positive ones from here on out.

 

[Zow]

I think some of you really need to cut No.16 some slack. Yes, he hasn't taken any of the advice offered in this thread

THAT's the reason for some of the snide remarks IMO.... It's like beating a dead horse. Hence the constant There IS ACTUALLY some good advice being dished out.....

You new here? Go back and read Woz's old threads - 16 ain't got nuthin' on him.

I'll take that as a compliment.

 

[Dragons]

I think some of you really need to cut No.16 some slack. Yes, he hasn't taken any of the advice offered in this thread

THAT's the reason for some of the snide remarks IMO.... It's like beating a dead horse. Hence the constant There IS ACTUALLY some good advice being dished out.....

Actually, my statement isn't entirely true. As far as we know, he hasn't contacted the parents and he won't sneak a note in with her stuff. He certainly has some bad ideas of how to handle things, but he's shown he can follow the collective wisdom of the FFA.None of that justifies the behavior of Maude.

 

[bonesman]

None of that justifies the behavior of Maude.

Pity him... he's likely projecting.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Maude, you need to lay off a little. You're acting like No. 16 ran over your dog or something.

 

[cstu]

I think some of you really need to cut No.16 some slack. Yes, he hasn't taken any of the advice offered in this thread

THAT's the reason for some of the snide remarks IMO.... It's like beating a dead horse. Hence the constant There IS ACTUALLY some good advice being dished out.....

You new here? Go back and read Woz's old threads - 16 ain't got nuthin' on him.

I'll take that as a compliment.

Well, it all worked out in the end, right?

 

[nysportsfan]

16, keep on trucking. You're bound to have slip ups. This isn't easy, it's not supposed to be...at all. From my point of view, you can't expect things to get better over night. I'm only in week one, but life is so completely different, I still don't get/know what to do. I expect it to be a long time before I even think I might know what to do. Just listen to good friends, family, and the occasional FFA member.

 

[No. 16]

Damn got an unwanted update about the ex.

Went to drop off her stuff at my GB house after crossfit (no note). We sat and chatted and he asked if he could talk to me about something but it involved my ex. I said no, but he said he needed to talk to someone about it. So I relented.

He told me that he was pissed at my ex because she encouraged his GF to cheat on him with one of the Personal Trainers friends. So he was understandbly pissed bc his GF told him this news and according to her she kicked the guy out of the room, but then she passed out, and woke up with the guy in her bed unsure if anything happened. Of course we know stuff went down so I was just there to help him out.

What a #####. He also said that my ex found out the personal trainer ... surprise, surprise.... has other girlfriends. Yet she still continues to chase him.

Even though she is still chasing him, it makes me feel good confirming the guy is a doosh. Wish I could tell her... "That's what you get you ####in whore!"

Just feel bad she had to drag my GB's GF into her mess. She's so completely crazy right now.

 

[encaitar]

WTF. This thread is one crazy fishing trip after another.

Tell your buddy to lay down the line now. That won't be the last time your ex tries to get her friend to sleep with a guy. Her friend cheating makes her feel less guilty about her own cheating. Your buddy needs his GF to stop hanging with her. If she won't, then he needs to move on ASAP.

 

[No. 16]

Wish it was man. Wish it was.

 

[Steed]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

Congrats on making it this far. Other than the DUI you've done well. Keep on keepin on

 

[Das Boot]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

 

[cstu]

Damn got an unwanted update about the ex.

Went to drop off her stuff at my GB house after crossfit (no note). We sat and chatted and he asked if he could talk to me about something but it involved my ex. I said no, but he said he needed to talk to someone about it. So I relented.

He told me that he was pissed at my ex because she encouraged his GF to cheat on him with one of the Personal Trainers friends. So he was understandbly pissed bc his GF told him this news and according to her she kicked the guy out of the room, but then she passed out, and woke up with the guy in her bed unsure if anything happened. Of course we know stuff went down so I was just there to help him out.

What a #####. He also said that my ex found out the personal trainer ... surprise, surprise.... has other girlfriends. Yet she still continues to chase him.

Even though she still chasing him makes me feel good confirming the guy is a doosh. Wish I could tell her... "That's what you get you ####in whore!"

Just feel bad she had to drag my GB's GF into her mess. She's so completely crazy right now.

I couldn't help but be reminded of this:

Seeing her everyday just makes me realize how great of a person I'm losing.

As I told you at the very beginning she did you a huge favor breaking up with you.

 

[dparker713]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

 

[cstu]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

 

[dparker713]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

I don't buy it for a second, but thats easier to do from the outside. But if these two are really BFFs and she choses 16s GB, thats a pretty big apology.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

At least you'll have a wingman soon enough. Any time you feel some pain from the breakup, remember the fact she not only cheated but is now pushing your gb's gf to cheat as well. And count your lucky stars this came out before you got married - because this crazy was there the whole time and it was going to come flying out of the closet at some point.

That's not a wonderful person. It's not the person you want as a wife. It's not the type you want as the mother to your kids. It's the type you take home for a one night stand. Nothing more. You're damned lucky you got out when you did and don't you forget it.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Damn got an unwanted update about the ex.

Went to drop off her stuff at my GB house after crossfit (no note). We sat and chatted and he asked if he could talk to me about something but it involved my ex. I said no, but he said he needed to talk to someone about it. So I relented.

He told me that he was pissed at my ex because she encouraged his GF to cheat on him with one of the Personal Trainers friends. So he was understandbly pissed bc his GF told him this news and according to her she kicked the guy out of the room, but then she passed out, and woke up with the guy in her bed unsure if anything happened. Of course we know stuff went down so I was just there to help him out.

What a #####. He also said that my ex found out the personal trainer ... surprise, surprise.... has other girlfriends. Yet she still continues to chase him.

Even though she is still chasing him, it makes me feel good confirming the guy is a doosh. Wish I could tell her... "That's what you get you ####in whore!"

Just feel bad she had to drag my GB's GF into her mess. She's so completely crazy right now.

at this load of crap. Can you imagine a guy trying to tell his gf "some chick came into the room and I totally kicked her out but then I passed out. When I woke up she was in bed! No idea what happened."? Does anybody actually buy that nonsense? I call shenanigans on that story. And if you're a good friend you should tell your gb what he already knows - the story is nonsense.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

She willingly slept with PT's buddy, and is concocting this transparently stupid story about passing out and waking up in his bed because men fall for stuff like this.

 

[Dragons]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

She willingly slept with PT's buddy, and is concocting this transparently stupid story about passing out and waking up in his bed because men fall for stuff like this.

What a freakin trainwreck.

 

[boots11234]

She got porked by the PT for sure. Men are dumb. I bet 16's buddy actually believes her story.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Perfect timing for a Friday

 

[Slapdash]

Damn got an unwanted update about the ex.

Went to drop off her stuff at my GB house after crossfit (no note). We sat and chatted and he asked if he could talk to me about something but it involved my ex. I said no, but he said he needed to talk to someone about it. So I relented.

He told me that he was pissed at my ex because she encouraged his GF to cheat on him with one of the Personal Trainers friends. So he was understandbly pissed bc his GF told him this news and according to her she kicked the guy out of the room, but then she passed out, and woke up with the guy in her bed unsure if anything happened. Of course we know stuff went down so I was just there to help him out.

What a #####. He also said that my ex found out the personal trainer ... surprise, surprise.... has other girlfriends. Yet she still continues to chase him.

Even though she is still chasing him, it makes me feel good confirming the guy is a doosh. Wish I could tell her... "That's what you get you ####in whore!"

Just feel bad she had to drag my GB's GF into her mess. She's so completely crazy right now.

at this load of crap. Can you imagine a guy trying to tell his gf "some chick came into the room and I totally kicked her out but then I passed out. When I woke up she was in bed! No idea what happened."? Does anybody actually buy that nonsense? I call shenanigans on that story. And if you're a good friend you should tell your gb what he already knows - the story is nonsense.

 

[zed2283]

If she actually porked PT's friend, then why would she make up anything at all? Wouldn't it be best to keep it under wraps?

 

[IvanKaramazov]

If she actually porked PT's friend, then why would she make up anything at all? Wouldn't it be best to keep it under wraps?

She probably figured that it was going to get back to 16's GB one way or the other, so she's trying to preempt that.

 

[Steve Tasker]

 

[Evilgrin 72]

You should write her a note and say :

"[Ex], I'm so sorry about the way all of this went down. I know now it was my fault that you cheated and left me, and I aims to make it right. I want to get back together, and I don't care what it takes. If you feel the need to occasionally bounce off some personal trainer's penis, have at it. Or a dog trainer, anyone on P90X, whatever. I won't care, and I won't reciprocate. I only wish I could detach my genitals so you could carry them around in your evening bag.

I'll do anything you want. Walk around Oakland all day in a chicken suit cracking raw eggs on people like that inexplicable ###hole in 'Karate Kid', shave my balls with a straight razor then dip them in gasoline, walk around a room full of waist-high lit candles afterward, whatever it takes. Just give me one more chance. Remember, you wouldn't be a nurse if not for me. YOU OWE ME !!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

Love, No. 16

With any luck, she'll contact you for a meeting to discuss the terms of your unconditional surrender. Set a time and place when you know the personal trainer will be around waiting for her rather than stuffing his schvantz into the ham wallet of another of his legion of eager babes. Of course, what the ex doesn't know is that you won't be at the meet-up you two have scheduled. While she's sitting at the table sipping a sloe gin fizz and making goo-goo eyes at every guy who can bench more than 100 lbs, you'll be on your way to where the personal trainer is, with a box of condoms, a tube of Astroglide, and some chloroform. I'll leave the rest to your imagination, but some artful photos of you making hay up the rear staircase with her beau will serve as your trump card. The next time you contact her will be via text/e-mail. With an attachment.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

If she actually porked PT's friend, then why would she make up anything at all? Wouldn't it be best to keep it under wraps?

She probably figured that it was going to get back to 16's GB one way or the other, so she's trying to preempt that.

Or she's feeling guilty and wants to ease her guilt slightly. Unless she was blackout drunk, no way do you just wake up next to someone and have no idea what happened. at the balls on this chick for even trying this story.

 

[nysportsfan]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

I think I've done alright so far. I resent that.

 

[gianmarco]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

I think I've done alright so far. I resent that.

Nysportsfan's thread isn't close to the same level as this one.

 

[No. 16]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way? How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

 

[Gadzooks]

You should write her a note and say :"[Ex], I'm so sorry about the way all of this went down. I know now it was my fault that you cheated and left me, and I aims to make it right. I want to get back together, and I don't care what it takes. If you feel the need to occasionally bounce off some personal trainer's penis, have at it. Or a dog trainer, anyone on P90X, whatever. I won't care, and I won't reciprocate. I only wish I could detach my genitals so you could carry them around in your evening bag.I'll do anything you want. Walk around Oakland all day in a chicken suit cracking raw eggs on people like that inexplicable ###hole in 'Karate Kid', shave my balls with a straight razor then dip them in gasoline, walk around a room full of waist-high lit candles afterward, whatever it takes. Just give me one more chance. Remember, you wouldn't be a nurse if not for me. YOU OWE ME !!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."Love, No. 16With any luck, she'll contact you for a meeting to discuss the terms of your unconditional surrender. Set a time and place when you know the personal trainer will be around waiting for her rather than stuffing his schvantz into the ham wallet of another of his legion of eager babes. Of course, what the ex doesn't know is that you won't be at the meet-up you two have scheduled. While she's sitting at the table sipping a sloe gin fizz and making goo-goo eyes at every guy who can bench more than 100 lbs, you'll be on your way to where the personal trainer is, with a box of condoms, a tube of Astroglide, and some chloroform. I'll leave the rest to your imagination, but some artful photos of you making hay up the rear staircase with her beau will serve as your trump card. The next time you contact her will be via text/e-mail. With an attachment.

 

[No. 16]

You should write her a note and say :"[Ex], I'm so sorry about the way all of this went down. I know now it was my fault that you cheated and left me, and I aims to make it right. I want to get back together, and I don't care what it takes. If you feel the need to occasionally bounce off some personal trainer's penis, have at it. Or a dog trainer, anyone on P90X, whatever. I won't care, and I won't reciprocate. I only wish I could detach my genitals so you could carry them around in your evening bag.I'll do anything you want. Walk around Oakland all day in a chicken suit cracking raw eggs on people like that inexplicable ###hole in 'Karate Kid', shave my balls with a straight razor then dip them in gasoline, walk around a room full of waist-high lit candles afterward, whatever it takes. Just give me one more chance. Remember, you wouldn't be a nurse if not for me. YOU OWE ME !!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."Love, No. 16With any luck, she'll contact you for a meeting to discuss the terms of your unconditional surrender. Set a time and place when you know the personal trainer will be around waiting for her rather than stuffing his schvantz into the ham wallet of another of his legion of eager babes. Of course, what the ex doesn't know is that you won't be at the meet-up you two have scheduled. While she's sitting at the table sipping a sloe gin fizz and making goo-goo eyes at every guy who can bench more than 100 lbs, you'll be on your way to where the personal trainer is, with a box of condoms, a tube of Astroglide, and some chloroform. I'll leave the rest to your imagination, but some artful photos of you making hay up the rear staircase with her beau will serve as your trump card. The next time you contact her will be via text/e-mail. With an attachment.

Hahah. You've been missed in this thread.

 

[Ned]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

She willingly slept with PT's buddy, and is concocting this transparently stupid story about passing out and waking up in his bed because men fall for stuff like this.

What a freakin trainwreck.

Your BF needs to kick her to the curb yesterday. She obviously doesn't have an ounce of respect for him if she thinks he'd buy this bs.

 

[No. 16]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way?

How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.

I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

Every partner, spouse in every relationship is expected to be supported of dreams.

I'm not sure why you think you've done anything different than other folks, such as my ex. She supported me like I supported her. I encouraged her to do more, but she didn't and IMO she was resentful of it. In laws --- Yikes. My 58 yo dad stayed at our house for 2.5 weeks, building my ex an office in the basement so she could start working from home (we had to build an office since baby was on the way and took the office room).

Look, I'm sure you gave her great support. Just like my ex supported me. BUT, this doesn't matter to me. My ex is a #### that I personally don't care to see again just because she can be supportive. Your intent of sending that letter was a hope that she would come to her "senses" and immediately come crawling back to you. The sooner you realize and accept that that's not going to happen, the better off you'll be.

That maybe expected but in my experience not every partner ACTS that way. There are tons of partners who become jealous, especially if the wife is the more successful. I am not completely over all the feelings I have for her, but I've known long ago I can't be with her again. I would never trust her.

Honestly, it's her loss. We had it set up for a great life, IMO, but she fell for the physical attraction and the lust that comes with it and look what that got her into.... chasing after a guy she knows has other girlfriends. I still have the same plans and dreams. Just need to find another leading lady.

 

[No. 16]

At least you'll have a wingman soon enough. Any time you feel some pain from the breakup, remember the fact she not only cheated but is now pushing your gb's gf to cheat as well. And count your lucky stars this came out before you got married - because this crazy was there the whole time and it was going to come flying out of the closet at some point. That's not a wonderful person. It's not the person you want as a wife. It's not the type you want as the mother to your kids. It's the type you take home for a one night stand. Nothing more. You're damned lucky you got out when you did and don't you forget it.

 

[Wrigley]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

She willingly slept with PT's buddy, and is concocting this transparently stupid story about passing out and waking up in his bed because men fall for stuff like this.

What a freakin trainwreck.

Your BF needs to kick her to the curb yesterday. She obviously doesn't have an ounce of respect for him if she thinks he'd buy this bs.

I don't know, it sounds plausible....could have been rape

 

[ditka...mike ditka]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way?

How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.

I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

You are very confused 16. I am sure it did "mean something"...it probably meant a lot and she appreciated it. But that doesn't mean she should stay with you. Her feelings changed. I don't care what a girl or her family has done for me..if my feelings change I am not going to stay with them and be miserable because I slept at her parents house for a little while when it looked like we might be together forever. #### changes

 

[Dragons]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

She willingly slept with PT's buddy, and is concocting this transparently stupid story about passing out and waking up in his bed because men fall for stuff like this.

What a freakin trainwreck.

Your BF needs to kick her to the curb yesterday. She obviously doesn't have an ounce of respect for him if she thinks he'd buy this bs.

I don't know, it sounds plausible....could have been rape

If it was rape, she should be filing rape charges. Is she?

 

[Wrigley]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

She willingly slept with PT's buddy, and is concocting this transparently stupid story about passing out and waking up in his bed because men fall for stuff like this.

What a freakin trainwreck.

Your BF needs to kick her to the curb yesterday. She obviously doesn't have an ounce of respect for him if she thinks he'd buy this bs.

I don't know, it sounds plausible....could have been rape

If it was rape, she should be filing rape charges. Is she?

Absolutely......this is what the BG should be pushing forOr maybe he only wanted to cuddle.

 

[No. 16]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way?

How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.

I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

You are very confused 16. I am sure it did "mean something"...it probably meant a lot and she appreciated it. But that doesn't mean she should stay with you. Her feelings changed. I don't care what a girl or her family has done for me..if my feelings change I am not going to stay with them and be miserable because I slept at her parents house for a little while when it looked like we might be together forever. #### changes

Thing is she never appeared miserable. According to her cousin she was even detailing our wedding plans while she was in Vegas when she met the personal trainer. It just seemed like this guy flipped some type of switch.I understand that now everything we did doesn't mean squat and she made her decision but when it comes down to:

- Guy you've been with for 7 years, has loved you, great career, great family that loves you

vs.

- Hot Personal Trainer you met in Vegas, non-college graduate, and later you find out he has other girlfriends

She made her choice not to love me. I'm coming to terms with that now but I just bring it up because this all seems out of character to the GF I knew who wanted to be with me 24/7, who talked about our future together, and didn't want to become like her sisters (1 married to a guy who can't keep a job due to gambling issues and the other who has 3 kids from 3 different fathers, divorced 1x, and broke off an engagement b/c she was with another guy) and her parents (who have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past 15 years). Doesn't seem logical, but then again lust/attraction causes one to do crazy things. Like I said this caught EVERYONE by surprise. None of her friends ever heard her utter a word of discontent until she did this.

So it is what it is now. The crazy was there early on the relationship, went away when I relented and she moved up her for school, and now is back full force. Seems like she's destined to go down the path of her family in regards to relationships but for her sake, I hope not.

 

[No. 16]

Well, now you get to guide your buddy through this mess like the FFA has done for you. You got the playbook, stick to it.

I dunno...Sounds like his buddy's gf:1. Fessed up to the event2. Kicked the guy out of the room

Thats why she gets an ultimatium instead of an automatic boot. She stops hanging out with 16s ex or she's gone.

Dude, all she was doing was damage control. She knows guys are stupid enough for fall for a confession like that. No way does a woman buy a story like that.

She willingly slept with PT's buddy, and is concocting this transparently stupid story about passing out and waking up in his bed because men fall for stuff like this.

What a freakin trainwreck.

Your BF needs to kick her to the curb yesterday. She obviously doesn't have an ounce of respect for him if she thinks he'd buy this bs.

I don't know, it sounds plausible....could have been rape

If it was rape, she should be filing rape charges. Is she?

Absolutely......this is what the BG should be pushing forOr maybe he only wanted to cuddle.

Yah, he had dinner with her last night to talk through things some more. Will try and get a hold of him today to see what happened.If he/she truly believes rape could be involved they should not let this ******* get away with it. It'll be up to him to interpret and trust his GF's demeanor/body language. However, from what we got yesterday we both realize something consensual went down.

 

[Slapdash]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way?

How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.

I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

You are very confused 16. I am sure it did "mean something"...it probably meant a lot and she appreciated it. But that doesn't mean she should stay with you. Her feelings changed. I don't care what a girl or her family has done for me..if my feelings change I am not going to stay with them and be miserable because I slept at her parents house for a little while when it looked like we might be together forever. #### changes

Thing is she never appeared miserable. According to her cousin she was even detailing our wedding plans while she was in Vegas when she met the personal trainer. It just seemed like this guy flipped some type of switch.I understand that now everything we did doesn't mean squat and she made her decision but when it comes down to:

- Guy you've been with for 7 years, has loved you, great career, great family that loves you

vs.

- Hot Personal Trainer you met in Vegas, non-college graduate, and later you find out he has other girlfriends

She made her choice not to love me. I'm coming to terms with that now but I just bring it up because this all seems out of character to the GF I knew who wanted to be with me 24/7, who talked about our future together, and didn't want to become like her sisters (1 married to a guy who can't keep a job due to gambling issues and the other who has 3 kids from 3 different fathers, divorced 1x, and broke off an engagement b/c she was with another guy) and her parents (who have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past 15 years). Doesn't seem logical, but then again lust/attraction causes one to do crazy things. Like I said this caught EVERYONE by surprise. None of her friends ever heard her utter a word of discontent until she did this.

So it is what it is now. The crazy was there early on the relationship, went away when I relented and she moved up her for school, and now is back full force. Seems like she's destined to go down the path of her family in regards to relationships but for her sake, I hope not.

Sounds like meeting the guy made her realize she wasn't nearly as ready to settle down as you obviously are. It happens at these ages.

 

[boots11234]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way?

How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.

I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

You are very confused 16. I am sure it did "mean something"...it probably meant a lot and she appreciated it. But that doesn't mean she should stay with you. Her feelings changed. I don't care what a girl or her family has done for me..if my feelings change I am not going to stay with them and be miserable because I slept at her parents house for a little while when it looked like we might be together forever. #### changes

Thing is she never appeared miserable. According to her cousin she was even detailing our wedding plans while she was in Vegas when she met the personal trainer. It just seemed like this guy flipped some type of switch.I understand that now everything we did doesn't mean squat and she made her decision but when it comes down to:

- Guy you've been with for 7 years, has loved you, great career, great family that loves you

vs.

- Hot Personal Trainer you met in Vegas, non-college graduate, and later you find out he has other girlfriends

She made her choice not to love me. I'm coming to terms with that now but I just bring it up because this all seems out of character to the GF I knew who wanted to be with me 24/7, who talked about our future together, and didn't want to become like her sisters (1 married to a guy who can't keep a job due to gambling issues and the other who has 3 kids from 3 different fathers, divorced 1x, and broke off an engagement b/c she was with another guy) and her parents (who have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past 15 years). Doesn't seem logical, but then again lust/attraction causes one to do crazy things. Like I said this caught EVERYONE by surprise. None of her friends ever heard her utter a word of discontent until she did this.

So it is what it is now. The crazy was there early on the relationship, went away when I relented and she moved up her for school, and now is back full force. Seems like she's destined to go down the path of her family in regards to relationships but for her sake, I hope not.

Her family is a train wreck. Apple didn't fall far from the tree. Like others have said here, you are lucky the crazy escaped her now and not after kids and marriage. You will realize that in time.

 

[No. 16]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way?

How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.

I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

You are very confused 16. I am sure it did "mean something"...it probably meant a lot and she appreciated it. But that doesn't mean she should stay with you. Her feelings changed. I don't care what a girl or her family has done for me..if my feelings change I am not going to stay with them and be miserable because I slept at her parents house for a little while when it looked like we might be together forever. #### changes

Thing is she never appeared miserable. According to her cousin she was even detailing our wedding plans while she was in Vegas when she met the personal trainer. It just seemed like this guy flipped some type of switch.I understand that now everything we did doesn't mean squat and she made her decision but when it comes down to:

- Guy you've been with for 7 years, has loved you, great career, great family that loves you

vs.

- Hot Personal Trainer you met in Vegas, non-college graduate, and later you find out he has other girlfriends

She made her choice not to love me. I'm coming to terms with that now but I just bring it up because this all seems out of character to the GF I knew who wanted to be with me 24/7, who talked about our future together, and didn't want to become like her sisters (1 married to a guy who can't keep a job due to gambling issues and the other who has 3 kids from 3 different fathers, divorced 1x, and broke off an engagement b/c she was with another guy) and her parents (who have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past 15 years). Doesn't seem logical, but then again lust/attraction causes one to do crazy things. Like I said this caught EVERYONE by surprise. None of her friends ever heard her utter a word of discontent until she did this.

So it is what it is now. The crazy was there early on the relationship, went away when I relented and she moved up her for school, and now is back full force. Seems like she's destined to go down the path of her family in regards to relationships but for her sake, I hope not.

Her family is a train wreck. Apple didn't fall far from the tree. Like others have said here, you are lucky the crazy escaped her now and not after kids and marriage. You will realize that in time.

Yah I mean they were great people and treated me well. I think they knew and understood the trainwreck they were in and were genuinely happy that we were together and appeared to have our life straight.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Instead of her thanking you for helping her succeed in school and such, you should thank her for showing her true colors before you two got hitched.

 

[No. 16]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

Was never claiming to be the reason for her success. Just thought everything my family and I did for her would mean something. That it should show the type of love and support she would have.Isn't a husband supposed to tell you to chase your dreams? Push you not to give? Be there with you every step of the way?

How about your in laws? They allowed her to stay in their home for a year. Not asking for rent. My family took her in and treated her as part of the family already. Helped her get her job. That sounds like a great set of in laws to me.

I never meant to take credit for her success. She's book smart, hard working, and carries herself great. I just felt all those things SHOULD have carried some weight with her. Not because she succeeded because of us, but that she was getting a fantastic support and love that would have been there for life.

You are very confused 16. I am sure it did "mean something"...it probably meant a lot and she appreciated it. But that doesn't mean she should stay with you. Her feelings changed. I don't care what a girl or her family has done for me..if my feelings change I am not going to stay with them and be miserable because I slept at her parents house for a little while when it looked like we might be together forever. #### changes

Thing is she never appeared miserable. According to her cousin she was even detailing our wedding plans while she was in Vegas when she met the personal trainer. It just seemed like this guy flipped some type of switch.I understand that now everything we did doesn't mean squat and she made her decision but when it comes down to:

- Guy you've been with for 7 years, has loved you, great career, great family that loves you

vs.

- Hot Personal Trainer you met in Vegas, non-college graduate, and later you find out he has other girlfriends

She made her choice not to love me. I'm coming to terms with that now but I just bring it up because this all seems out of character to the GF I knew who wanted to be with me 24/7, who talked about our future together, and didn't want to become like her sisters (1 married to a guy who can't keep a job due to gambling issues and the other who has 3 kids from 3 different fathers, divorced 1x, and broke off an engagement b/c she was with another guy) and her parents (who have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past 15 years). Doesn't seem logical, but then again lust/attraction causes one to do crazy things. Like I said this caught EVERYONE by surprise. None of her friends ever heard her utter a word of discontent until she did this.

So it is what it is now. The crazy was there early on the relationship, went away when I relented and she moved up her for school, and now is back full force. Seems like she's destined to go down the path of her family in regards to relationships but for her sake, I hope not.

Sounds like meeting the guy made her realize she wasn't nearly as ready to settle down as you obviously are. It happens at these ages.

Agreed. Her loss.ETA: She was always the one pushing marriage early on. She would always say, "Don't waste my time if you don't plan on marrying me." It was only about 2 years ago when I knew I wanted to marry her and we openly began to discuss the future.

 

[cstu]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

I think I've done alright so far. I resent that.

Nysportsfan's thread isn't close to the same level as this one.

To be fair, it's a lot different to be the dumper than the dumpee.

 

[No. 16]

Between this thread and nysportsfan, it's a :trainwreck:

For one, you are not the reason behind her success. She's the one that did the work, not you. My ex pulled this same card - insinuating that she's the reason behind my success. It made me hate her even more. Sure, she supported me throughout but I still would have been successful without her.

I think I've done alright so far. I resent that.

Nysportsfan's thread isn't close to the same level as this one.

To be fair, it's a lot different to be the dumper than the dumpee.

Is it that different? I see a lot of similarities here ... both are very distraught and upset with the breakup. One main advantage of nysportsfan is that he is in control where as 16 is a fish out of water.

I wonder why that appears to be the case?Women.