I got my pool built in 2011 when my 3 boys were 7, 5, and 1. I would do it again in a heartbeat. we use it virtually every weekend and half of the weekdays during the summer. My oldest is in 9th grade now and him and his friends will use it all of the time, which is another bonus as I can keep an eye on them. our backyard was useless before it because it'd be so hot and muggy back there. I got a bar by the pool and I host family gatherings for fathers day, july 4th, and any other time we're getting together and the weather is nice. I have friends over a few times a year too.
Maintenance is maybe an hour a week and that's if I manually vacuum. If I use the autovac, its maybe a half hour. the only chemicals I use are chlorine and some muriatic acid. I will pay a company to close the pool and that'll cost me $300, but I open myself. total maintenance might be $1000/yr until I need to get it resurfaced in another 5-10 years. personally, I wouldn't let the maintenance or costs scare you off. yes, I may not get the money back I put into it on resale, but I don't care. its not an investment but something to make things enjoyable for the whole family.
I hate public pools because I generally don't like people and their screaming kids. hard pass