What does her looks have to do with this story? - It's the FFA, people always want to know what a chick looks like.
Are you looking for sex with her? - I'm never "looking" but it happens
If not, did you run it by the wife? - It's never verbalized.
If not, would you be okay if the wife did something similar? - Not at all and it has.
If I'm totally off base, good on you and kiss your money goodbye. - Thanks, I still think I get the money back.
What server gets $3K upside down AND is good for it? - I think you missed the point that most of the 3k is tied up in a security deposit, which she will get back from her old place but the new place wants their deposit before she moves in.