Angie and I are lying around the hotel when she notices the time. She needs to go pick up Daughter. She offers to bring her buy to see me but I said it’s better if I Skype her; I don’t want Wife to think I’m doing anything behind her back – especially when it has to do with my daughter. So later that day, daughter and I caught up with each other via Skype. I text my wife to let her know and told her we should talk, she simply replied “don’t w2 talk”.
Well, I guess I’m spending Friday alone; I decided to head out into the town center surrounding the hotel for Happy Hour drinks and food. I decided to hit McCormicks and Schmick; their happy hour is pretty good and the area is full of office buildings so it’s not rare for someone dressed business casual to stop in solo. I walk, the bar is sparsely populated when I see Druggie Girl and Chunky Girl being barflies. I walk over to them to say high and exchange pleasantries instead of just jumping into a seat next to them; as always, I’ll wait for a verbal or non-verbal invitation to sit with them. Chunky Girl notices me first, “Hey Ron!”, Druggie Girl looks over, stands up, gives me a hug and asks me to sit with them. Chunky is wearing a business casual suit dress (she later said she had an interview earlier; she actually looked really nice in it because it sent the message of “I could wear this every day and not seem out of place”) and Druggie was in dark skinny jeans, heels and a loose shirt (trashy hot as always).
(Pro Tip: most guys f this move up. If you see girl(s) you recognize in a bar, never jump into a seat unless it’s the only seat open. If they want you to sit with them, they’ll make it known. You want to avoid an awkward moment if their guy friend shows up that they came there to meet in the first place or he returns from the bathroom. Or worse, you jump into a seat and buy a bunch of drinks only to get them liquored up for some other dude.)
Although Druggie and Chunky aren’t A-Listers in my book, they’re usually cool to hang out and tie one on. Druggie Girl, not long into our conversation, asks me if I have cash on me:
Druggie: I only have my credit card and can’t take any cash out.
Me: Do you need me to cover the tab or something?
Druggie: No, I just need some cash; put your drinks on our bill, I just don’t have cash.
Me: (I go into my wallet and pull out a hundred), Is this enough?
Druggie: Yes, awesome, thank you! (gives me a kiss and runs off to make a phone call).
I continue small talk with Chunky Girl while ordering a Heineken, crab fritters and calamari to nibble on. Druggie Girl comes back inside after her phone call and sits with us for a bit; moments later she heads to the bathroom. It’s been many years since I’ve done blow regularly but I still remember having the need to poop the second I knew the stuff going to be delivered soon. Druggie is back seated with us, she’s kinda quiet, Chunky and I are doing all the talking. The food comes out and we all pick at the appetizers while shooting the ####. Not long into snacking, Druggie’s phone starts ringing and she runs out the door; Chunky isn’t fazed by this as I’m assuming she’s seen it many times before. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Druggie come back in then head right to the bathroom area. She comes back and is no longer quiet; she’s fighting to get a word in and comment on everything we’re saying.
The girls asked what I was doing tonight and I said was I staying at the Regency next door; just didn’t want to sit in a hotel solo so I came out. We drink for a while then decide to go a bar that’s a little more upbeat; I offer to pay the tab but Druggie insists on paying – cool with me.
We go to the next bar and it’s busy as hell; Friday night, music is bumpin’; Druggie sees a few seats open at the bar for us but I instead suggest we grab a table in the bar area so we do. Chunky starts off my ordering a round of shots. I’m not really a “do a shot guy” but #### it.
(Pro Tip: If you bring more than one woman to a bar, don’t sit at the bar. Sit at a table unless you really need a wingman to step in – I don’t).
7pm turns to 11pm in what seems like minutes. All of us are countless shots in and Druggie has taken countless trips to the bathroom while making the occasional offer to me to ‘party’. No thanks, drugs aren’t my thing. We decided we’ve all had enough when Chunky is literally nodding at the table.
Me: Do you want me to call you guys a cab?
Druggie: No, then we’ll have to call another one to get our car in the morning. I’m fine, I’m wide awake.
Me: You’re awake but you’re still ####ed if you get pulled over. Chill at my room for a bit then leave when you’re ready.
She doesn’t hesitate and says lead the way. The walk back to my hotel room with all three of us half in the bag had to have been comical for any onlooker. No one fell but all three of us at one point came pretty damn close to it. We kept our composure walking through the lobby of the hotel but I did remember how complicated it was for me to figure out the hotel key fob to my room. We go into the room and Chunky kicks off her shoes and lies down. Druggie heads to the bathroom for, well, what else? I open the mini fridge and grab a beer – it doesn’t matter how f###ed up a I am, I always like a cold beer before I go to sleep.
I’m drinking a beer and flipping through the TV to find some music. Druggie comes out of the bathroom after a little while and we both stop and look at Chunky – she is not only sleeping already but snoring too…we both

quietly
Druggie looks at me and says:
Druggie: Well, what now? Do you want to go back out while she sleeps?
Me: I’m pretty ####### tired right now.
Druggie: Well… (yes, I know, I know, it’s not my thing but I decided why not. I took a bump and we headed back to the bar).
The two of us went back to the bar and sat at the bar since it’s was later and cleared out a bit; I haven’t done this #### in a long time but I felt completely sober and alert the entire time. We closed the bar down and made our way back to the hotel room
Chunky is still knocked out at 2am when we walked into the room. I didn’t waste any time, I started kissing and undressing Druggie right away until she was standing in front of me bare ### naked.
She dropped to her knees and started blessing the king. While doing this, she stops, looks up and asks if I have a condom – I say no. She goes back to work. She’s was doing a great job but I think the mixture of alcohol and the other recreational activity was not going to let me relieve so I picked her and sat her on the edge of bed. We kissed for a bit than I pushed her back down on the bed; she said something again about a condom – which I totally ignored. I start playing with her then she asks me to ‘kiss it’. I spit on it then thrust my way in, damn she’s tight; she quickly puts her hand on my stomach and moves back. I chill out and go easy on it. She said several times while we’re having sex, ‘don’t cum inside me’.
Turn down Pull out for what?