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Loaning a chick money 9/9/16 - Bye (4 Viewers)

You don't have the Crocodile Dundee crotch grab in your immense bag of tricks?

Also, Persian as in hot Iranian or as in covered with long fur and breath that smells like tunafish and hairballs?

 
Arizona Ron said:
Sorry, I've been really busy.

I decided to enjoy the long weekend. Once the holidays were over it's basically been 75% work, 20% hanging with my daughter and 5% fun time for me. That 5% has mostly been hanging with Angie and a bit with Tongue or Ice for a late night drink/chill session. I haven't really gone out out in weeks. Tongue has moved on from her previous girlfriend/roommate because of the issue with the roommate's dad. She made several more attempts to try to move in with me "just for a bit" but I stood firm even when she came over late and almost pleasured me into submission. I did hook her up the next day with a woman I know through work that was looking for a roommate, I even convinced her to waive a deposit on my word (which I got zero thank you for now that I'm thinking about it; Tongue acted like I just pointed her to a Craig's List ad).

On Friday I text a few of the usual suspects to see what they're up to: Ice said she already had plans, Druggie and I exchanged texts for 15 mins and I still didn't get an idea wtf she was talking about, Angie isn't a person I call when I want to party, Tongue was down for whatever, Barb & Stacy said they wanted to hang out but not until late late so I chalked that up as a maybe; I even texted a few one-offs to see what they were up to but nothing definitive came from that. I confirmed with Tongue that we're going out.

I picked her up just before 10pm, nothing flashy just True Religion blue jeans, black Cole Hann slip-ons, black fitted button up and a black leather bomber jacket; she rushed to get into my car giving me directions saying something about a bar there was doing some special for $10 to get in and free vodka for an hour, "Let's go or we'll miss it" kind of attitude. When we got there and I started looking for parking, I said, "I know this bar, it's a gay bar". She looked a little upset saying, "So you don't want to go now?". I said "no, it's cool I always have a good time when I come here." She jumped over to me and kissed me, I guess she thought I would get pissed or something for bringing me here - nope, it's a very cool bar.

Side note: For you guys that only know gay bars as the Blue Oyster or other bad 80's movies, it's really nothing like that. There are girls, lots of them. In 2015/2016, it's more of a, "this is an LGBT friendly place" not a gay-only bar, in my opinion.

Anyway, we go in and the bartenders are working their asses off pouring vodka everywhere. One of the staff recognized me and asked if I wanted a table service, I said to Tongue we should just get table service and relax until the mad rush is over; she asked why I would pay for a bottle of vodka when they're giving it away, I said because they're giving away crap and I didn't want to stand 3-deep at a bar trying to get a drink. I get a table and who's near us? It's Ice and a few girls I've never seen before. I said hi nonchalantly and she does a running jump, legs/arms first locking her legs around my waist and arms in a full-on hug koala bear-style; obviously already drunk/high/crazy/who knows then starts introducing me to her friends while still hanging onto me. She then insisted on the table next to her's had to move so we could pull two tables together; I asked our server for an additional bottle. One of the chicks she was with was very interested in me so we chatted while Tongue and Ice started catching up as the other girl seemed more interested in their conversation.

A good hour or so went by with me talking with this chick, who identified as Persian, while also checking out the scenery (some not-so good scenes there btw); the drinks are flowing and I'm feeling a bit tipsy so I decided to slow down a bit. I said to the chick I'm talking with during mid conversation that I needed to go to the bathroom, she said me too so we walked off. All of the bathrooms are all uni-sex with urinals/stalls in all so we just went in the same door; I pissed at a urinal then went over to wait in line to wash my hands (the bathroom was packed) when she comes out of the stall after a quick pee. The chick recognizes a few other people in the bathroom, one who looked like Magic Johnson's son, and all 5 or 6 of us posed for the girls taking selfies. Another girl, looked like friends with this chick I walked into the bathroom with, broke out some party favors. The chick asked if I wanted some but I declined - I somehow felt obligated to make sure we returned to the table together so I chatted with my new selfie pals while the two of them went back in the stall area to get skeed. They come out, the selfie crew left and the chick takes my hand - we go into the stall area and she insists me showing it to her, I pull out and she gives me one of the better bj I've had in a while.

I'm now tipsy and relieved so I need to start planning an exit plan. When all 5 of us are back at the table I switch to water to chill for a bit. Ice straddle-jumps on me while I'm sitting down and starts kissing me; I can smell the energy enhancer on her as well. We kissed for a bit while the chick that just blew me is sitting next to me rubbing on me - she has clearly been checked by Ice before because she is almost awaiting Ice's okay to move in on me. Ice started talking about "bringing the party back to my place" since it's after 1am by this point and they are clearly not going to sleep anytime soon. I said #### it, why not

They pile into my car, Ice is shotgun of course because she will not be upstaged by anyone. Tongue, the chick that blew me and the other girl are in back. We get to my place and the two new girls remark about how nice the place is, the view etc and Ice proclaims, "I told you my (n-word)'s place was tight!!!" She yelled this and phrases like this repeatedly. Ice is yelling while turning up dance music; I drank a double espresso to keep up, their idea of energy was not in a liquid form. I screamed "pants off dance off" at some point.

An hour or so goes by, Tongue is getting forced to mouth #### Ice, I'm naked getting banging the chick that never said much the entire night with the chick that blew me playing with my ###. I did wear a condom the entire time, I go to switch off to the chick that blew me and she would only blow me again. I kept trying for the draws but she said she was on her time, no problem but who wants a bj through a condom so I go back to the other chick - BJ chick is again finger-playing my ### when I'm ####ing almost to the point where it's annoying.

I finish, go to the kitchen for another drink and BJ chick follows me. She starts blowing my flaccid #### in the kitchen until I stop her saying I'm done for the night; I finish my drink and head to my bedroom to go to sleep glancing back at Tongue getting smothered by Ice. I go into my room, lock the bedroom door and go to sleep.

The next morning, everyone is gone. I look around the place to make sure I didn't get lifted for a TV or something but it's cool. The front door was still open so I checked the CCTV to make sure it's cool. No big deal, everyone left about 7am.

It's about 10am, I text Ice to ask if she got home okay, she says:

Ice: Yeah, Ubered it

Me: okay cool. Friends of yours?

Ice: Yeah, you liked him I see?

Me: Him, who?

Ice: The guy that kept sucking your #### all night

Me: Yeah right, it was a chick. I felt real titz, it looked and smelled like a woman. Not a guy, just a chick on her period.

Ice: tucking a ####, I knew you liked men, ###### (the f-word).

Me: #### off Ice. How do you know them?

Ice: Not both, just the guy. The one that kept sucking your #### all night lol

Me: w/e bye.

Haven't really talked to her since. I guess I was dealing with postnasal drip Ice who just wanted to again one-up me.
Click to expand...
I knew where this was going as soon as you said "Identified as Persian". Not sure why that worked as foreshadowing, but it worked. I guess I've been around longer because that would've immediately lead to me looking for an Adam's apple.

Welp, you had fun. From where I stand, not gay imo. I'm sure others with say otherwise. You were attracted to what you thought was a lady. And who the F cares anyways? I haven't read the following comments yet, but I you'll get some undeserved flack. Keep living the dream, just remember to check the neck.

 
Kimmy: You should have seen him. He was so sexy. The way he move round. But I asked him slow down cause I drop my load to quick.

Stu: Load? What load?

Kimmy: Oh, you know. My sperms.

Stu: Uhyour English is off. Youre talking about my sperms. Your sperms arent from

Kimmy: From my balls.

Phil: Hold on! Back up.

Stu: Uhwait. Areare you?

[Kimmy takes off her robe]

Kimmy: Hey, you in Bangkok sweetie. Theres a reason they dont call it Bang####.

[she turns around to reveal her penis]

Stu: Woh! Oh, God!

Phil: Wow!

Alan: I dont get it. Is this a magic show?

 
Ice set you up with a tranny just to punk you. Hilarious. She is the alpha of alpha females. Chipping away at Rons masculinity makes her feel more dominant.

Ron is borderline superhero being able to hang out with a bunch of people doing blow and not touch it. Most people would fall asleep or succumb to the temptation.

 
Dan Lambskin said:
Kimmy: You should have seen him. He was so sexy. The way he move round. But I asked him slow down cause I drop my load to quick.

Stu: Load? What load?

Kimmy: Oh, you know. My sperms.

Stu: Uhyour English is off. Youre talking about my sperms. Your sperms arent from

Kimmy: From my balls.

Phil: Hold on! Back up.

Stu: Uhwait. Areare you?

[Kimmy takes off her robe]

Kimmy: Hey, you in Bangkok sweetie. Theres a reason they dont call it Bang####.

[she turns around to reveal her penis]

Stu: Woh! Oh, God!

Phil: Wow!

Alan: I dont get it. Is this a magic show?
Click to expand...
GD it Dan.

 
BroncoFreak_2K3 said:
Goes to a gay bar and hooks up with a transtesticle and he has no clue. OK. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
There's no way that was a dude. It's Ice ####ing with my head again. I've seen and been around plenty of chicks with ####s and the easiest tell is the voice, hands and fake titz. The titz were real and she looked and sounded like a woman.

 
manlady must have been in super stealth mode. chatted with our hero for a hour and he had no idea

that is some covert ops seal team six ####

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Arizona Ron said:
BroncoFreak_2K3 said:
Goes to a gay bar and hooks up with a transtesticle and he has no clue. OK. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
There's no way that was a dude. It's Ice ####ing with my head again. I've seen and been around plenty of chicks with ####s and the easiest tell is the voice, hands and fake titz. The titz were real and she looked and sounded like a woman.
Click to expand...
Should probably post a pic of Lola so we can all know for sure

 
I know back in the day I flipped on HBO Real Sex and I was like this chick in the bubble bath is smoking hot and then she stood up and had a #### down to her knee

Mistakes happen

 
Arizona Ron said:
BroncoFreak_2K3 said:
Goes to a gay bar and hooks up with a transtesticle and he has no clue. OK. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
There's no way that was a dude. It's Ice ####ing with my head again. I've seen and been around plenty of chicks with ####s and the easiest tell is the voice, hands and fake titz. The titz were real and she looked and sounded like a woman.
Click to expand...
No way you can tell these days. Hell, most Persians look like dudes anyways.

 
The only way this story could have been better is if the Persian girl ripped off a mask Mission Impossible style and it turned out to be Michael

 
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